Carla Kelly (34 page)

“
Won’t
you give me some advice?” she pleaded. “Alpha, I don’t want to
leave him. I simply don’t know what to do!”

He got up and
kissed her. “I think you do know what to do. You want advice? I’ll
tell you this: nothing is worse than regret. There’s no hell
greater than asking yourself: ‘What if I had done this, or that?’
Good night, Omega. Pleasant dreams.”

“
Alpha, you are worse than useless,” she said after he closed
the door.

Omega climbed
into bed, examined her ankle, decided that she would likely limp
for the rest of her life, and pinched out the candle. There was no
comfortable spot anywhere in the bed that only two nights ago had
felt so wonderful. She might as well have slept on rocks or
sharp-pointed sticks. She folded her arms resolutely and willed her
eyes to snap shut.

They would not.
She listened to the clock in the hall as it chimed, and then chimed
an hour later.

“
This
is impossible,” she said at last, and got out of bed. She paused
with her hand on the doorknob. “Oh, I can’t do this,” she said out
loud.

It sounded almost
like whimpering. She berated herself and almost retreated to her
bed.
Courage, Omega
, she thought, and let herself into the
hall.

There was no
light showing under the door of Matthew’s room. He had probably
been asleep for hours. Heaven knew it had been a tiring day. She
raised her hand to knock, and then lowered it again.
I can’t
possibly do what I’m contemplating
, she thought, and started
back to her room.

She was almost
back to her door when she thought of Alpha’s words and turned
around. Matthew could tell her to go away. But if she never knew
for certain what he would do, she would only spin out her hours and
days and years in endless circles of regret.

She gritted her
teeth and knocked on the door, steeling herself, already turning to
go.

“
Come
in.”

She opened the
door slowly. “Matthew?”

He didn’t say
anything, and all heart left her. The tears welled in her eyes and
she started to back out into the hall. But then Matthew lit a
match, and a small point of light shone in the room. She couldn’t
see his face, but he was there and he had lit a candle.

“
Matthew, I would like to stay with you tonight.”

Again the long
silence. Again her heart failed her.

“
Omega, don’t you remember anything I’ve told you? I’m
impotent. That’s as plain as I can make it.”

And then she was
angry with him. She came into the room and shut the door behind
her. “Matthew, you cod’s head, I love you! Did those ... those
ladies—”

“
Scarcely ladies,” he interjected.

“
Did
those ladies you tried—did they care for you?”

“
Hardly.”

“
Then
I wish you would take a chance with someone who loves you!” She
gestured in the dark, warming to her subject. “And I’ve been
feeling in the last week that you’re not entirely indifferent to
me.”

“
That’s true enough. Good God, Omega, I love you. I never quit
doing that.”

“
Then
you’d better show me, Matthew, or I’ll just go on being a teacher
who never takes a chance, and you’ll wither away.”

“
Omega, you are absolutely daft.”

“
Oh,
good night, Matthew!” She blew out the candle and went to the
door.

Her hand was on
the knob when he spoke again, and this time his voice was softer.
“Omega, it’s a narrow bed.”

“
The
most paltry excuse,” she said, and leaned her forehead against the
door.

“
But
it’s comfortable, my dear, if you don’t mind sharing a
pillow.”

She smiled to
herself. She was silent, waiting.

“
And
the floor is cold, and you’re not getting any younger standing
there.”

She laughed.
“Neither are you.”

She heard him sit
up and light the candle again. Her smile deepened as he pulled back
the coverlet. “Come on, Omega. Let’s ... let’s throw out the
itinerary.”

She got in bed,
feeling a tingle of fear mixed with her joy. This was different
from the other night, when they had clung together for solace. She
needed something more this time, and so did he.

Without saying
anything, Matthew touched her tentatively, running his hand down
her body. She relaxed and moved closer. In another moment they were
in each other’s arms, and Omega couldn’t tell where she ended and
where Matthew began. She was afraid for a moment, but no more than
he was. Without a word spoken, he gave himself to her, and she
welcomed him into herself, her hands tight across his back, loving
him fiercely as she had always wanted to do.

He was her lover,
and she was his, and there was no room for regret or pride. They
were the only two people in the world, and it was a world they knew
they would never tire of, now that they had found it.

Omega refused to
let go of him.

“
See
here, my dear, I’m not going anywhere!”

“
Promise?” she whispered, and then ran her tongue inside his
ear until he groaned with the pleasure of it.

“
Good
God, Omega, I fear we are going to be exhausted by morning. And you
have to leave with Alpha. Hold still, we’re going to fall
off.”

She giggled.
“Silly, I’m not leaving with Alpha.”

“
Oh,
yes you are! In a week’s time I will arrive at Amphney St. Peter
with another special license clutched in my hand. And Alpha will
give you away, and Lydia will cry, and Jamie will say, ‘Oh, this is
famous!’, and Angela may give you a Waterloo souvenir, for all I
know.”

She considered
this. “No more than a week. If something should result from this
evening’s sport, and heaven knows, it could, I wouldn’t want
your—our—neighbors counting the months back on their
fingers.”

He settled
himself beside her. “A distinct possibility, now that you mention
it. Two days?”

“
Much
better, Matthew.”

“
Excellent. Oh, do that again. Good God, Omega. Where was I?
Oh, yes, we will leave our darlings with Lydia and bolt to the city
for a week or so. I want to renew some old acquaintances, and I
have a proposal for Mr. Timothy Platter.”

“
Which
is ...”

“
The
constable, I fear, is sorely displeased with me, and in truth, he
has been thinking of retirement. Do you think Timothy Platter would
give up London’s beauty and safety for the boredom of
Byford?”

“
Oh,
Matthew, I love you.”

“
And I
love you. Of course, the Platters will have to get used to the
birds yelling, and fresh water, and all manner of evils, but I will
put it to Maeve.”

He kissed her.
“And there was something else. Omega, you are such a distraction!
How can I think? Oh, yes. Dear Omega, it has come to my attention
that you are not entirely indifferent to me. Can I ... oh, have I
reason to hope that—”

“
Yes,”
she interrupted, and kissed him.

“
Hush,
Omega, I’m not through, and I’m only going to propose this last
time in my life. Do I have reason to hope that you might consent to
joining your life with mine?”

“
Yes,”
she said again, and touched his face. “Matthew, you’re
crying.”

“
I am.
Older men get funny. Omega, you’ll have to send a letter of regret
to St. Elizabeth’s.”

“
It
will be my only regret, dearest.”

A well-known
veteran of the romance writing field,
Carla Kelly
is the
author of twenty-
nine
novels and
four
non-fiction works, as well as numerous short stories and articles
for various publications. She is the recipient of two RITA Awards
from Romance Writers of America for Best Regency of the Year; two
Spur Awards from Western Writers of America; a Whitney Award for
Best Romance Fiction, 2011; and a Lifetime Achievement Award from
Romantic Times.

Carla’s interest
in historical fiction is a byproduct of her lifelong interest in
history. She has a BA in Latin American History from Brigham Young
University and an MA in Indian Wars History from University of
Louisiana-Monroe. She’s held a variety of jobs, including public
relations work for major hospitals and hospices, feature writer and
columnist for a North Dakota daily newspaper, and ranger in the
National Park Service (her favorite job) at Fort Laramie National
Historic Site and Fort Union Trading Post National Historic Site.
She has worked for the North Dakota Historical Society as a
contract researcher. Interest in the Napoleonic Wars at sea led to
a recent series of novels about the British Channel Fleet during
that conflict.

Of late, Carla
has written two novels set in southeast Wyoming in 1910 that focus
on her Mormon background and her interest in ranching.

You can find
Carla on the Web at:

www.CarlaKellyAuthor.com.