Carol Finch (20 page)

Her brothers would be here to guide and protect her, he assured himself. He’d been the place she’d come for comfort and protection each time disaster struck. But her bad luck was behind her now.

On that sensible thought Hawk fell asleep. He knew the time had come to bid Shiloh goodbye. Once and for all.

Shiloh sighed in satisfaction when Hawk’s lips drifted over hers in a featherlight kiss. She assumed she was dreaming again—as she did every night. But this fantasy was more vivid than usual.

“Shiloh… I came to say goodbye. I’m leaving tomorrow.”

Her lashes fluttered up to see Hawk’s dark silhouette poised above her. Aching emptiness consumed her as she reached up to trace the rugged features of his face, committing him to memory by sight, by sound, by touch, by heart.

She’d known the day would come when he was well enough to resume his duties with the Rangers. Even
knowing that, she still wasn’t prepared to deal with the feelings of loss and loneliness that twisted in her chest.

Did he understand that he would take her heart with him when he left? Didn’t he realize that she’d tried to be noble, strong, and relentless in holding her emotions in check so he wouldn’t feel guilty when he walked out of her life?

Damn it, this was killing her and she couldn’t let him know it. But even if she had too much pride to beg him to stay, she was going to take advantage of his midnight visit. She was going to weave her love around him without voicing the words that made him uncomfortable. But all the same, he would
feel
loved and cherished when he left, she vowed.

“I wanted to thank you and to let you know—” he began.

Shiloh silenced him by kissing him with all the affection she had bottled up inside her. She looped her arms around his neck and pulled him close, ever mindful of his mending wound. She craved the feel of his muscular contours beneath her lips and fingertips. She savored the addictive taste of him, wishing the kiss could go on forever.

She was well pleased when she heard him moan softly and felt his answering response.
One more night,
she mused as she caressed him and he caressed her right back.
One more memory to store up to counter all the lonely years to come.

“Damn it, this isn’t why I came in here,” Hawk mumbled before he kissed the breath out of her. “But the hell of it is that I can’t stop wanting you, despite my good intentions.”

“I don’t want you to stop wanting me,” she whispered as she eased sideways, inviting him to stretch out beside her.

Shiloh came to her knees to rid him of his breeches so she could touch him to her heart’s content. Each ragged moan and gasping breath that she drew from him encouraged her to continue her seduction. She knew that any other woman could pleasure him, but she longed to burn the memory of
her
touch, of
her
kiss on his flesh for all eternity. She wished she were unforgettable to Hawk because he was unforgettable to her.

“You’ve gotten much too good at seduction,” he rasped, then trembled beneath her intimate touch.

“Have I? I’m immensely pleased to hear you say that… Do you like this, too…?”

When her moist lips drifted down his belly to skim over his rigid flesh, Hawk stifled another tormented groan. She had discovered how and where he liked to be touched and she left him at the mercy of his ardent desire for her. He hadn’t planned to leave at dawn with her unique scent clinging to him and the taste of passion on his lips, but here he was, melting into her feather bed, craving her touch like a starving man yearning for a sumptuous feast.

Shiloh was his Waterloo. There was no denying it. He could say that what he felt for her was purely physical. He could claim that his feelings of jealousy and possessiveness stemmed from the fact that he had become her first lover—which made her unique to him. He could even insist that these feelings of protectiveness were born from all the unnerving moments when he had rescued her from disaster.

But he knew he had only been making up excuses to protect his heart. Shiloh was the only woman who had triggered such a myriad of emotions inside him. Emotions that refused to be restrained when he was with her. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t talk
himself out of the forbidden feelings she incited in him.

His thoughts evaporated when she stroked him again and again. She brought him so close to the perilous edge of self-control that he felt as if he was hanging on by a fraying thread. Sweet mercy, what the woman did to him!

“Stop!” he gasped as his masculine body arched shamelessly toward her bold kisses and caresses.

His lashes fluttered up when he felt her shift on the bed to settle over his thighs. He saw her smile down at him, her exquisite face illuminated by the moonlight that streamed through the windows. His overworked heart flipped upside down in his chest. He was never going to forget how Shiloh made him feel, how she looked when they were in the throes of fervent passion. Her smile was playful yet seductive, teasing yet so full of erotic promise.

And he was going to go up in flames if she didn’t appease the maddening ache that she had left thrumming through his ultrasensitive body!

“Do you need me, Hawk?” she murmured as she wrapped her hand around his throbbing shaft.

“Do you have to ask?” he croaked, his voice giving out, right alongside his willpower.

“Say it again,” she insisted. “I need to hear it.”

“I need you like crazy,” he admitted as she guided him intimately to her.

And then she sank down on him, taking him into her body and holding him intimately. He swore the top of his head exploded when she moved provocatively against him, setting an arousing pace that built into an intense crescendo.

Hawk let go with his mind, body and soul. He savored each incredible sensation that converged sepa
rately, then recoiled to tumble over him like a tidal wave of immeasurable passion.

Despite the twinge in his chest Hawk clutched Shiloh desperately to him. Shudder after helpless shudder pummeled him, sending his thoughts swirling like an undertow dragging him into oblivion. He held on to her for the longest time, knowing he’d never experience such amazing contentment ever again.

Exhausted, Hawk dozed off, cuddling Shiloh against him. He awoke several hours later, knowing he should return to his room before daylight. But he was too satisfied where he lay. His body refused to move from the warm circle of her arms.

Ah, when had he become so helplessly entangled in the silken web that Shiloh had spun around him? Why had he allowed himself to care so much…?

The sound of the door swinging open brought Hawk upright in bed. Despite the sharp pain of moving too quickly, he reflexively reached for the pistol he kept under his pillow. Then he realized that he’d left his weapon in his room. The best he could do to protect Shiloh was to angle sideways so that his chest became her shield of armor.

“What the devil is going on here?” came the shocked voice from the shadows. “You scoundrel! How dare you!”

Behind him, Shiloh cursed and tried to shove him away before he tried to take another bullet on her behalf. Hawk stayed right where he was and glowered poison darts at the intruder.

“Glad you showed up,” Hawk snapped. “I have a few things to say to you and now is as good a time as any.”

S
hiloh wasn’t sure who irritated her more—Hawk for trying to be her human shield or Antoine for sneaking into her room before daylight so her brothers might find them in a compromising situation. She took one look at Antoine’s bare chest—which was nowhere near as muscular and appealing as Hawk’s—and his bare feet and half-buttoned breeches then frowned suspiciously. She suspected that Aimee Garland, the heiress from New Orleans, had fallen prey to a similar scheme that Antoine concocted for his financial benefit.

“That is my fiancée!” Antoine growled in outrage. “You have spoiled her honor and I shall defend it. I intend to marry her, even if you have ravished her!”

“Drop the theatrics, Antoine,” Shiloh muttered as she clutched the sheet to her bare bosom and peered around Hawk’s broad shoulders. “I know exactly what you hoped to gain by sneaking in here. But your devious plot isn’t going to work any better with me than it did with Aimee. Obviously her father paid you off and you came here trying to run the same scam on me.”

When Hawk gaped at her, surprised, she cast him a withering glance. “Oh, for crying out loud, surely you didn’t think that I don’t know what he’s up to. And surely you didn’t think that I intended to do anything except string him along to repay him for stringing me along in New Orleans?”

The expression on his rugged face indicated that he
did
think she still had feelings for this conniving Casanova.

Shiloh sighed audibly. “Men! Sometimes your gender can be incredibly obtuse!”

“String me along?”
Antoine parroted with all the feigned indignation he could muster. “
Chère
, I
love
you and I came here to compensate for the mistake I made in New Orleans.”

“You made a mistake all right,” Hawk growled. “You hurt her feelings and you’re after her money. I’m not letting you near her.”

“And
you
are not after her money?” Antoine scoffed disdainfully. “I’m not so gullible as to believe that. I know how the game is played,
monsieur.
”

Hawk’s arm shot toward the door and his dark eyes snapped with fury. “Get out!”

Antoine elevated his aristocratic chin and struck a dignified pose. “No.” He turned his suave smile on Shiloh. “We will do well together,
chère.
This rapscallion cannot escort you through society as well as I can. I was
born
into it.”

“And you can
die
in it. Right now, if you don’t make yourself scarce,” Hawk said threateningly.

Shiloh patted Hawk’s rigid shoulder, silently requesting that he stand down because she had her own way of dealing with Antoine. “As it turns out, I’m not all that impressed with living in proper society and at
tending its pretentious parties,” she informed Antoine. “I’m staying here to help run the ranch. If we marry this is where we’ll live on my money.”

“Here?” Antoine hooted, owl-eyed.

“Wide-open spaces suit me best,” she enthused. “I’m not interested in the glittering lights, constant gossip and mandatory social schedules of New Orleans.”

Antoine’s face fell like a rockslide.

Hawk beamed in devilish delight. “What? Not what you expected, Frenchy? Well, you’ll get used to living out here on hell’s fringe. You probably won’t even be attacked by roving bands of outlaws and hungry packs of wolves, as Shiloh and I were a few weeks ago. And there is always the annual town fandango when you get bored and restless.”

The color drained from Antoine’s refined features. Shiloh might have felt sorry for this misplaced opportunist if she didn’t revel in seeing him receive his just desserts.

Her thoughts scattered when she heard footsteps in the hall, and then saw her brothers burst from the darkness. “Oh, damn,” she muttered in frustration.

“What in the
hell
is going on?” Noah roared in outrage.

Gideon turned his thunderous glare on Antoine, noting his state of undress. “And just what are
you
doing in here, you French swine? Trying to accomplish the same thing that Hawk beat you to?”

“Damn you, Hawk,” Noah growled. “We should have lynched you while we had the chance!”

Shiloh scooted sideways to face her indignant brothers. “You are not stringing up Hawk. He’s still recovering from the gunshot wound.”

“Then he won’t suffer too much more since he’s been about half-dead for a week.” Gideon smirked unsympathetically.

“He must not have been as near death as he wanted us to believe, considering what he’s obviously been doing in here,” Noah muttered reproachfully. “This is a fine way to repay our generosity and hospitality!”

Shiloh made slashing gestures with her arm, demanding to have the floor. This was
her
bedroom, after all, and she intended to speak her piece.

“What is going on between Hawk and me is none of your concern,” she told her brothers bluntly. “I’m a spinster and I intend to live my life by my own rules.”

Noah crossed his arms over his bare chest and glowered at Hawk. “Which, I suppose is fine with you because your tumbleweed lifestyle doesn’t coincide with marriage. How very convenient for you,” he added snidely.

“Leave him alone,” Shiloh snapped. “Just because I’m in love with him doesn’t mean that he has to love me back or propose marriage.” She stared pointedly at her brothers. “How many wives would you two have if you proposed to every woman you seduced, including the ones at Paradise Social Club?”

Noah and Gideon shifted awkwardly and refused to make eye contact with her.

“This is different,” Noah mumbled lamely.

“Your double standards don’t apply to me,” Shiloh announced with a dismissive flick of her wrist. “I have decided to adopt the male attitude of doing whatever I can get away with, especially when it comes to affairs.”

All four men gaped at her in stunned disbelief. Shiloh suppressed a giggle. She thoroughly enjoyed
spouting off that outrageous comment—for shock value.

“You cannot be serious!” Gideon tweeted.

“That just goes to show you how little you know about me,” she countered, delighting in getting their goat.

“Whoa, back up a minute.” Hawk half turned to stare directly at Shiloh. “You really do love
me,
not
him?
” he bleated, looking bewildered and confused.

“How could you love
him
and not
me?
” Antoine asked, looking as bewildered and confused as Hawk.

“Doesn’t matter. Neither one of you scoundrels measure up,” Noah decreed. “If Shiloh won’t let me shoot or hang the both of you, then leave this house.
Now!
”

“But
monsieur,
” Antoine purred pleadingly. “I’ve had no breakfast and I’m short of funds.”

Noah hitched his thumb toward the door. “You have thirty minutes to clear out. Then I’m coming after you with a shotgun. I might not be the experienced sharpshooter Hawk is, but I
will
bring you down, guaranteed.”

Grumbling, Antoine spun on his heels and left.

Noah turned his steely-eyed stare on Hawk. “And now for you and your responsibility to Shiloh.”

“He isn’t going to give up his way of life for me and he’s just been reunited with his brother,” Shiloh said in Hawk’s stead. “Hawk is leaving in a few hours. That’s all I have left with him. Now go away and leave him be.”

Hawk glanced over to see tears shining in her eyes. “You honestly love me?” he said incredulously. “How could you? I’ve done nothing to deserve your affection. I have nothing to offer you that you don’t have already, Shi.”

“You should listen to him,” Noah encouraged her. “For once he’s making perfect sense.”

Hawk was damn tired of all the interruptions. He made a stabbing gesture toward the door. “Leave,” he ordered curtly.

“No,” Noah and Gideon said stubbornly in unison.

“Yes,”
Hawk demanded brusquely. “This is probably the last thing you want to hear, and I’ve tried not to say it or acknowledge it to her or to myself, but I’m in love with her.”

“You’re right,” Gideon muttered. “I did not want to hear that.”

“You love me?” Shiloh squealed, her wide eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Truly?”

Hawk stared into her bewitching face as dawn spread its golden rays across the horizon and seemed to shine directly on her. His previous attempts to stem the tide of tender emotion and cling fiercely to common sense abandoned Hawk. He was tired of fighting the truth of his feelings and scrambling to invent reasons why he shouldn’t fall in love with her. Although he felt awkward about baring his heart in front of Shiloh’s overprotective brothers, he needed to speak from the depths of his soul before the suppressed emotions exploded inside him.

“Of course, I love you,” he blurted out awkwardly. “What man wouldn’t?”

“Antoine, for one,” she pointed out, then muffled a sniff.

“Well, he doesn’t count because he’s an idiot,” Hawk countered. “You’re smart and beautiful and brave. I admire your courage and your undaunted spirit. But how
I
feel about you doesn’t change anything. You’re determined to be a spinster and you would have
denied tonight happened, too, if we wouldn’t have had unwanted witnesses barge in here.”

Shiloh jerked up her chin. “The only reason I kept insisting that I wanted to be a spinster is because I knew you planned to ride off without looking back. Furthermore,
you
are the idiot around here if you can’t figure out that I only said what you wanted to hear in order to let you off the hook. I didn’t want you to feel obliged or trapped because I didn’t think you held any true affection for me.”

Hawk stared blankly at her, and then he glanced at her brothers, who looked as puzzled as he was. “Am I supposed to be able to follow that twisted logic? How is a man supposed to know how a woman’s mind works?”

Noah and Gideon shrugged helplessly, then peered, befuddled, at Shiloh.

“See there?” Hawk said. “Your own brothers can’t figure you out and they have lived with you two decades. So why am I expected to understand how you think when they don’t?”

“You can sort all that out later,” Noah said suddenly.

Hawk frowned, bemused by the wry smiles that appeared on Noah’s and Gideon’s faces.

“The two of you will have a lifetime to learn how to deal with each other,” Gideon decreed, then glanced at his brother, who nodded in silent agreement. “We’ve decided that a marriage between the two of you is the only solution to this situation.”

“No!” Shiloh objected, and found herself ignored.

“Besides, Gideon and I are tired of trying to control Shi,” Noah added. “She’s too rambunctious and high-strung.”

“But—” Shiloh tried to interject another comment but Gideon beat her to the punch.

“She’s
your
problem now, Hawk. Since a third of this ranch is hers, then you need to stay here and help oversee the place.” He stared speculatively at Hawk. “Considering how well behaved your mustang is, we are placing you in charge of training our herd of horses for contract sales to the nearby forts and stage coach company.”

Hawk’s jaw nearly dropped off its hinges. The brothers Drummond were accepting him as part of their family? Despite his mixed heritage? He couldn’t quite believe it.
Why?

“What changed your minds?” He had to ask.

“We’ve seen the way you look at each other when you think no one is watching,” Noah said wryly. “They are telling glances, believe me.”

“Obviously she loves you and you’ve proved yourself caring and possessive of her, as well as capable of protecting her from harm when the need arises.” Gideon glanced surreptitiously back and forth between them. “And considering what happened last night, marriage is the next sensible step.”

“You are not going to pressure him into marrying me,” Shiloh protested. “If he wants to leave, then that’s what he’ll do. Nothing you say will stop him if he wants to go.”

Hawk motioned Noah and Gideon out of the room. Thankfully, they exited without objection. He half twisted to stare at Shiloh, who was all bristling pride and undaunted spirit. He asked himself how he thought he’d ever be able to leave her behind, knowing that he was crazy in love with her and always would be.

“I can’t go,” Hawk confided as he limned the delicate features of her face with his forefinger. “I tried not to need you too much so it wouldn’t be so painful
when I left. But I don’t think I could leave you without losing a vital part of myself. Even when I did my damnedest not to let my feelings show, you got to me. Probably always will.”

“I get to you?” She smiled, extremely pleased with that confession.

He nodded his tousled head, then pricked his ears when he heard the hoot of an owl in the distance. Hawk pressed a quick kiss to her lips, snatched up his discarded breeches, and then said, “I’ll be right back, sweetheart.”

Hawk walked onto the terrace to see his brother sitting astride his Appaloosa, holding Dorado’s reins. Fletch glanced past him when Shiloh, dressed in her robe, appeared from the shadows. Her auburn hair flamed in the glowing rays of sunrise and her emerald-green eyes sparkled like morning dew on the spring grass.

Hawk swore he’d never seen such a spectacular sight in his whole life. And admittedly, he had seen some pretty amazing sights. But nothing compared to her.

Nothing ever could.

A knowing smile quirked Fletch’s lips as his focus shifted back and forth between Hawk and Shiloh. “I didn’t think you were going to make it out of here with your heart intact.” His grin widened wickedly. “I never thought I’d see the day that Logan Hawk turned into a homing pigeon. But it looks good on you, big brother. So I guess I’m going to have to chase the sunrise alone.”

“’Fraid so, Fletch.” Hawk slipped his arm around Shiloh’s waist and held her possessively against him. “I don’t know how to leave her behind. This is where I want to be. With her.”

Fletch arched a curious brow. “Noah and Gideon approve of this mismatch?”

Hawk grinned into Shiloh’s upturned face that glowed with so much love that his heart filled with happiness. “They put me in charge of breaking and training horses. I’m also in charge of keeping Shiloh under control.”