Carole Singer's Christmas (20 page)

‘Forget it, Mum. There’s nothing to forgive. That’s one thing we can put in the past. I’m a big girl now and believe me, I know how confusing emotions can be. You were grief-stricken over Dad. I get it, really I do. I’m just so pleased to see you so happy now. It really is incredible though.’

‘I know. But Love is a gift. Your dad always used to say that. And it comes to you in the most unexpected ways and in the most unexpected packages. It wasn’t love at first sight with Jamie but I felt something from the very first moment I saw him and I knew my life was going to change. I just didn’t know it was going to turn into something so wonderful. But that’s enough about me. Let’s get back to what’s going on with you. I may not have been around much and I may have chosen to ignore the signs but I can still tell when something is troubling you.’

‘I think I’m in love with three very different men,’ Carole said, surprising herself by her openness.

‘Well,’ Sarah replied, ‘let me just take this hot chocolate in to Mum and Jamie and then you and I can sit and have a good talk.’

‘But I thought you wanted to go to bed?’

‘Carole, my darling, some things are far more important than sleep but you do need your rest so I’ll tell you what, why don’t you go upstairs and get ready for bed and I’ll come up and we’ll snuggle under the duvet, just like we used to. The last time we did that was when you had that crush on Bradley Dawes after your fourteenth birthday party.’

‘God Mum, I can’t believe you still remember that!’

‘I remember everything, cherub. I just forgot it all for a while there.’

Carole followed her mum into the study, said goodnight to her gran and Jamie and took her hot chocolate upstairs. Part of her wondered if her mum would do what she said and she was a little surprised when Sarah tapped on her door and came in, followed by Arkenarten.

‘Jamie and Mum are having a brandy with their hot chocolate so I thought we may as well,’ she said, holding out two brandy glasses. She snuggled under the duvet and took one of Carole’s hands in hers. ‘So,’ she said, ‘you’re in love with three men. Dominic is obviously one of them. Am I right in thinking Nick is one and I already know who the third one is. I heard that Sebastian’s back.’

Carole almost choked on the mouthful of brandy she’d just swallowed.

‘What makes you think one of them is Nick?’ she asked in astonishment.

‘Well, for one thing I met him this morning and I have to say, I’d have fallen in love with him myself if I were twenty years younger and for another, it’s the way you look when you mention his name.’

‘The way I look? What do you mean? How do I look?’

‘Like a woman in love. Your eyes light up and your cheeks glow and he makes you cross and he makes you laugh and you hardly talked about anyone else all evening.’

‘Oh! Well ... that’s because he has been so good to Gran and to me too, although he does have a way of making me so cross that I want to hit him. But I ... I don’t think I talk about him
that
much ... do I?’

‘Yes dear, you do. And Sebastian?’

Carole nodded. ‘I know it’s crazy and I know I shouldn’t – especially as he’s still married, but I just can’t help it, Mum. The minute I saw him again, it was as if time had turned back. I felt just the same as I did the day he left.’

‘Oddly enough cherub, so do I.’

Carole tilted her head round to look at Sarah’s face. ‘But you wanted to kill him!’

‘I know I did darling, and I feel exactly the same as I did that day. So does your gran. But it doesn’t matter what we think. It’s what you think and feel that’s important. If you decide he’s the man for you, then Mum and I will welcome him with open arms and so will Jamie.’

Carole sighed. ‘I just don’t know, Mum. I’ve been hoping for the last few months that Dom would propose, but he hasn’t. Sebastian has. I expect Gran told you that, didn’t she?’

‘Yes she did, dear. But you haven’t said ‘Yes’, Mum told me.’

‘No, I haven’t. Did she tell you what happened? It was all rather funny, although I didn’t think so at the time.’

Sarah chuckled. ‘Yes, she told me about Nick’s dog, and about Arkenarten, and the ring getting lost in the snow and Nick finding it. That was nice of him.’

‘He’s a nice man ... sometimes.’

‘And what about him? Does he know how you feel?’

‘Good God, no! He already thinks I’m some kind of ... slapper or something because I’m living with Dom and
encouraging
Seb. If I told him I loved him too, he’d probably ban me from going to the garden centre ... ever again.’

‘I don’t think he would, dear. What makes you think that?’

‘Because he has made it very clear that he was disappointed that I am, and I quote, “that sort of woman”. He’s not interested in me in that way at all. I think he ... likes me ... as a friend or work colleague but that’s it.’

‘Are you sure, cherub?’

‘Absolutely.’

‘Hmm. That surprises me.’

‘Why?’

‘Because of the way he talked about you this morning when we met. He had nothing but good things to say.’

Carole sipped her hot chocolate, having finished her brandy. ‘Really? Well I suppose he couldn’t very well stand in front of you, Gran and Jamie and say that he thinks I’m a harlot, could he?’

‘I suppose not, darling, but it was more than that. I wouldn’t rule him out, but you shouldn’t make a decision based on whether someone does or doesn’t like you. You need to decide which one of the three you want to spend the rest of your life with and once you know that, you just follow your heart.’

‘That’s what Dad used to say, didn’t he?’

‘He did, cherub, and when it came to Love, your father really knew what he was talking about.’

***

Carole heard the knock on the door and half expected, half hoped that it would be Nick. She could see little cracks of light creeping over the top of the curtains so it must be early morning.

‘Are you lovely ladies decent?’ Jamie asked.

Carole glanced to her side and saw her Mum still snuggled up beside her.

‘Yes,’ Carole said. ‘Come in, Jamie.’

‘Oh. Good morning, cherub. Good morning, darling,’ Sarah said, sitting up. ‘Did you sleep well?’

‘Like a log,’ Jamie replied, turning on the light and smiling broadly. He was carrying a tray with a small teapot, a coffee pot, two mugs, milk and sugar. ‘I’ve made tea and coffee because I wasn’t sure which you prefer in the morning, Carole, my dear.’

‘I prefer coffee but either is fine, thanks,’ she said.

‘Coffee it is in future then. I’ll remember that. It’s a lovely day out there, or it will be when the sun comes up. It’s a bit like you two sleepy heads this morning. Not quite awake yet but lovely, nonetheless.’

He leant forward and gave Sarah a quick kiss on the lips.

‘You can see why I love him, can’t you, cherub?’ Sarah said.

‘I certainly can,’ Carole replied. And she could.

‘I went for a wee stroll just now,’ Jamie said, ‘and I bumped into Nick. I hope you don’t mind but I thought I’d maybe pop into the garden centre and see if there’s anything I can give him a hand with. Mitsy was telling me last night that he’s a bit short-staffed and I thought it would give you an extra day, Carole, to take it easy or maybe catch up on your work commissions and chat with your mum.’

‘I think that’s a lovely idea, don’t you, cherub?’

Carole smiled and nodded. ‘Yes. That ... that would be great. Thanks Jamie.’

‘It’s my pleasure dear. Nick seemed to think you would be heading back to London for a few days to see your young man so if you want me to, I can stand in for you until you get back, if that’s okay with you and Mitsy, sweetheart.’

‘That’s fine with me,’ Sarah said. ‘Are you going up to London, cherub?’

‘Well ... I haven’t decided yet,’ Carole said, ‘and there’s the Christmas musical. I’ve got to get on with the scenery for that ... and Dom will be busy at work so ...’

‘You decide whatever you want to do, dear, and we’ll fit in with you, won’t we, sweetheart?’

‘We will,’ Sarah said, smiling at Carole.

‘Actually, Dom’s coming down next weekend so ...’ She trailed off and drank her coffee.

It wasn’t as good as Nick’s but she knew she’d just have to get used to the fact that Nick wouldn’t be bringing her coffee in bed any more.

***

Carole hardly saw Nick all week. She knew that he popped round to see Mitsy several times because her gran told her so. Apparently, Mitsy had told Nick in no uncertain terms that just because
the prodigal daughter
had returned, Mitsy’s relationship with him hadn’t changed and that he should consider himself welcome at any time.

On each of his visits so far though, Carole had been out either with her mum, or Josie, or at meetings with her clients, three of whom had suddenly decided that they simply must get things rolling on new projects they were planning for the following year. It was just as well her mum had come to stay because there was no way that Carole could have managed otherwise.

She’d only been able to spend a few hours at the garden centre and that was on Wednesday, the one day that Nick had been called out to do some emergency work on a tree which was dangerously overhanging Mr Purefoy’s fishpond. By the time he got back, she was just leaving.

‘I thought you were going back to London for a few days,’ he said when they met in the doorway.

‘It’s good to see you too,’ she said sarcastically, ‘and I don’t know what gave you that idea. Dom’s working all week so there really isn’t much point.’

He held the door open for her. ‘Does he work all day and all night, seven days a week then?’

‘No, but he’s very busy and so am I and ... anyway, he’s coming down this weekend.’

‘You’d better take care not to catch anything then, hadn’t you?’

She stopped in the doorway. ‘What on earth do you mean by “catch anything”? How dare you suggest that–’

He grinned down at her. ‘I meant like another cold or something. What did you think I meant?’

‘Oh, I thought ... it doesn’t matter.’

Carole pulled on her gloves and wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck. She was trying to think of a reason to go back inside, some excuse to stay and talk for a few minutes longer but she couldn’t think of one and it was freezing standing in the doorway.

‘Are you going or are you coming back in?’ he asked, as if reading her mind. ‘You’re letting all the hot air out.’

She glanced up at him. ‘I’m tempted to say, perhaps you should keep your mouth closed then, but I won’t.’

Nick’s brows furrowed momentarily and he burst out laughing. She stood mesmerised. She loved hearing the sound of his laughter; she loved the way his dark eyes seemed to glint with amusement; she loved the tiny lines which appeared at the sides of them; she loved...

‘Are you going to rehearsals tonight,’ he said, still chuckling, ‘I’ve missed seeing you.’

‘I’ve missed you too,’ she said, blushing when she realised the implication of her words. ‘I ... I’ve had a lot of new work with very tight deadlines so I haven’t been able to get there, but I will be there tonight. Perhaps ... perhaps we could go for a drink afterwards? ... All of us I mean not ... not just ...’ She thought she’d better stop. She was digging a hole for herself and she was about to fall into it.

‘I know what you mean,’ he said, giving her an odd look. ‘I’ll see you tonight then.’

But he didn’t.

Carole kept the door of the village hall within sight all evening whilst she worked on the scenery, but Nick was a no-show.

It wasn’t until she was leaving and she asked Bert Threadgold as casually as she could, where Nick was this evening that she discovered he had been called out on yet another tree ‘emergency’.

‘What is it with bloody trees, today?’ she cursed.

‘Oh dear, Carole!’ Mr Threadgold said. ‘I really have no idea. But Nick said exactly the same thing. And now that I think of it, he did ask me to mention it to you but I told him I didn’t think you would be here this evening. I was sure I heard Sebastian say you were having dinner with him.’

Carole’s mouth fell open. ‘And ... and did you tell Nick that? About me having dinner with Sebastian, I mean.’

‘Of course I did, my dear. There are few secrets in a village, as you well know.’

Carole considered calling Nick on some lame excuse but she thought better of it. What was she going to say? That Bert had got it all wrong and that she wasn’t seeing Sebastian for dinner that night. That much was true, at least. The problem was that she’d have to say that she was seeing Sebastian for dinner on the following night and that would sort of take the shine off her denial.

Damn him, she thought, and damn Sebastian too. The only reason she’d agreed to meet Sebastian on Thursday was because he’d seemed so hurt when she refused. He told her that he was beginning to doubt whether she really cared for him at all.

She also realised, after discussing it with her mum – a circumstance she was getting used to surprisingly quickly – that as Dominic would be down on the Friday, it might actually help her to reach a decision regarding her feelings for him.

‘Tell Sebastian you’ll see him on Thursday instead,’ Sarah had suggested on Wednesday afternoon. ‘That way, you can see Nick tonight at the rehearsals and in the pub you can try and gauge what you really feel. Whether it’s lust or love. Meet Sebastian tomorrow and have a serious talk about exactly why he felt he had to run away the first time. And on Friday, you’ll be seeing Dominic. By then you should have a much clearer idea of which one of them really makes your heart skip a beat. And that’s what it all comes down to, cherub. It’s the one your heart wants.’

‘But what if my heart isn’t sure, or worse still, what if it wants all three?’ Carole asked.

‘It won’t, darling. Hearts aren’t greedy. They only want their one true love and they always tell you who that is. Some people just don’t listen to them, and others use their heads or their subconscious to rule them, and that’s not always a good thing where love is concerned. You follow your heart, cherub. It’ll lead you in the right direction.’