Carried Forward By Hope (12 page)

“Aunt Abby!”

Once again Aunt Abby raised her hand. “Just hear me out. Lincoln may be gone, but we’re all still here. President Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation and passed the bill to abolish slavery, but it took thousands of us to bring it to that point. It was the work of thousands over the years that truly created freedom for the slaves. We are still here,” she repeated, her strong voice ringing out into the air.

Carrie felt the passion in her words and realized the truth in what she said.

“I made a promise to the president as his body rolled past the balcony. I promised him that everything will not be in vain. Lincoln gave his all to hold this great country together. He gave his all to grant freedom to millions of slaves. It will not be in vain. He may be gone, but there are others of us who will take up the mantle and carry on. We will not let the last four years be for nothing.”

Carrie took a deep breath, the older woman’s words piercing her heart. She nodded and reached for her hand. “What is your plan?” she asked quietly, already knowing there was one.

Aunt Abby smiled, squeezing her hand. “I knew you would understand,” she said gladly. The carriage made a turn and joined the stream passing the burned out buildings. She nodded at one of them as they passed. “That used to be the First Bank of Richmond.”

“Yes,” Carrie murmured, staring at the blackened rubble that was all that remained of the three-story brick building. “All the banks of Richmond burned.”

“Yes, they did,” Aunt Abby said, “and lots of now useless Confederate money went up with it.”

Carrie nodded again, confusion showing on her face.

Aunt Abby smiled. “I met with some colleagues from Philadelphia when I was in DC. They are stepping forward to make investments to open another bank so Richmond can begin to get back on its feet.” She paused. “I have become an investor as well.”

Carrie stared at her. “You’ve invested in a bank?” She looked at Aunt Abby more closely. “I’ve just realized we have never talked about your business interests. They didn’t seem important at the time, but now I find I’m wondering just how much my dear Aunt Abby is worth.”

Aunt Abby merely smiled. “Enough,” she said simply. “It’s imperative that Richmond get back on its feet. That won’t happen unless there is a bank with money to lend to those who want to start rebuilding.”

“Why?” Carrie asked. “Other than my personal interest because I love this city so much, why is it important enough for Northern investors to make sure we have a bank to help finance rebuilding?” She was quickly realizing how little she knew about business. When Aunt Abby nodded briskly, Carrie caught a glimpse of the woman who stood against a multitude of men to protect her deceased husband’s business.

“Before the war, Richmond represented the most advanced economic development in the South. It’s a center for transportation to the rest of the South. It was a manufacturing center that processed regionally available materials. There were industries here from barrel-making to building construction. In the decade before the war, Richmond’s factory workforce grew by five hundred eighty-one percent.”

“Really?” Even with her limited understanding of business, Carrie understood that was a lot.

Aunt Abby nodded. “It will take the South getting back on its feet to provide jobs not just to freed slaves, but to all the veterans struggling to create a new life. I can help.”

Carrie continued to stare at her, not sure how all this fit with being sure the fight to end slavery had not been in vain. “I see…” she murmured, feeling totally out of her comfort zone. If Aunt Abby had come back and wanted to talk about new surgical procedures, she could have conversed with intelligence. As it was, she merely felt inadequate, though she was mesmerized by the shining passion in Aunt Abby’s eyes.

Aunt Abby suddenly laughed. “I see I’m not being clear, my dear.”

“Or perhaps I’m just too dense to understand,” Carrie protested.

Aunt Abby snorted. “That is certainly not the case.”

Spencer suddenly spoke up from the driver’s seat. “You’s plannin’ on opening up a factory to give jobs to black folks. But not just any job,” he continued. “You’s plannin’ on paying them what they really be worth.”

Aunt Abby beamed. “That’s correct!”

Carrie mulled over what Spencer had said. “You’re concerned that other people rebuilding in Richmond won’t be fair to the freed slaves. You are afraid they will take advantage of them and try to keep them in the same slavery mode by paying them little and treating them badly.”

Aunt Abby nodded solemnly. “That’s exactly right.”

“Why are you so concerned?” Carrie asked. “What did you learn in Washington?”

Aunt Abby frowned as she gazed into her eyes. “You may not know business, but you certainly know how to read me, my dear.” She sat back with a heavy sigh. “Yes, I learned a lot while I was in Washington. The government knew it was time for the slaves to be free, but I’m afraid no one has carefully thought through a plan for just how they can become equal citizens — especially those who remain in the South.”

“Just cause we be free don’t mean people done changed how they think ‘bout us,” Spencer drawled, his flashing eyes betraying his calm voice.

Carrie thought about the resentment and hatred she had seen shining from Richmonders’ eyes just that morning.

“I’m afraid you’re right,” Aunt Abby said sadly. “I believe there are already plans in the works here in the South to control the freed slaves in much the same way slavery did.”

“And it will take all of us to make sure that doesn’t happen,” Carrie said softly. “I understand.” She straightened her shoulders. “What kind of factory are you going to open?”

“A clothing factory,” Aunt Abby said promptly. “I have already purchased the property down by the river where three warehouses stood before they burned. I’ll be hiring men to clean away the rubble and then I’ll have some equipment sent down from Philadelphia. It will take time to get ready for production, but I think it will move quickly. Everyone is eager to see Richmond recover from this disaster and the years of the war.”

Carrie gasped. “You certainly move quickly.” Suddenly she laughed.

“Why are you laughing, my dear?”

“I’ve never seen the business side of you before,” Carrie admitted. She laughed harder. “I almost feel sorry for those men who tried to intimidate and threaten you out of business. I’m sure they had no idea what they were up against.”

Aunt Abby joined in her laughter. “Sometimes it’s best for men to believe women are weak. That way you can sneak around them and catch them completely unprepared with your brilliance and scheming.”

Spencer snorted with laughter while peals of merriment rang out from the two women. They were still laughing when the carriage rolled up in front of the house. Rose and Moses were waiting on the porch, little John bouncing with excitement in his daddy’s arms.

The aroma of fried chicken mingled with some kind of cake baking, rolled out from the front door.

Aunt Abby turned and wrapped Carrie in an embrace. “It’s so good to be home,” she whispered. “You have no idea how wonderful it is to feel I have a family to return to.”

Carrie gazed after her as she jumped from the carriage to run up the stairs and greet Rose and Moses.

“That be one fine woman,” Spencer observed, his eyes shining with admiration.

“That she is,” Carrie murmured, her heart pounding with the gratitude that they were all together. It still seemed surreal at times.

“She gonna have a hard time down here,” Spencer said carefully.

“What do you mean?”

“The white men down here in Richmond ain’t gonna take kindly to a woman with a heart for black folks.”

“She already knows that,” Carrie assured him. “We’ve talked about what I went through during the war.”

Spencer nodded, opened his mouth, and then shut it again.

“Go ahead, Spencer,” Carrie encouraged him. “What do you want to say?”

Spencer shrugged his wide shoulders. “They sho ‘nuff hated you takin’ care of the sick black folks,” he agreed, “but Miss Abby comin’ down here to give jobs to people they figure still be slaves is gonna be somethin’ else.” He stared up at the porch with worried eyes. “I sho hope she smart enough to be real careful.”

Carrie stared up at Aunt Abby laughing as John bounced in her arms. She tried to push down the uneasiness that suddenly gripped her throat. She had a sudden sense that all of them were going to have to be careful.

Carrie was just coming in from the garden with a brimming basket of greens when Aunt Abby came into the kitchen. “Does Robert need me?” she asked quickly.

Aunt Abby shook her head. “I read to him for a while, and then he drifted off to sleep after he had some soup.”

“Did he say anything?” Carrie asked hopefully, though she was almost sure of the answer. Robert had done nothing but nod or shake his head since Aunt Abby had arrived three days ago.

“No,” Aunt Abby said softly, her eyes radiating compassion. “I can sense he is feeling and thinking things, but he just doesn’t seem to have the energy to put anything into words.”

Carrie nodded, doing her best to hold on to hope. Sometimes she thought she saw a spark of life in Robert’s eyes, but mostly he just stared dully, or simply escaped into a world of sleep.

“Are the nightmares still as bad?” Aunt Abby asked.

“Yes,” Carrie admitted. “That’s the only time he speaks. He mumbles about blood and death and watching people be blown up.” She shuddered. “Even after treating all the soldiers and seeing for myself how horrible the wounds were, at least I didn’t have to watch them being blown up or shot. I only dealt with the aftermath.”

Aunt Abby nodded thoughtfully. “None of us, except Moses of course, can possibly understand what he has been through. He hung on until there was nothing within him to hold on with.”

Carrie swallowed back her tears and placed the basket on the long counter. “I am trying to believe there is enough left in him to come back.”

Aunt Abby stepped forward and gripped her hands. “You keep on believing, Carrie. Your belief will get through to him.” She paused and chose her words carefully. “I sense there is a part of him that wants to keep living. I believe it’s the part that loves you so much. He wants to come back to you. He simply doesn’t know how.”

“And I don’t know how to help him,” Carrie groaned. “I’ve tried every herbal remedy Old Sarah ever told me about. Nothing seems to be working.”

Aunt Abby smiled gently. “I don’t believe it’s a problem that can be treated with an herbal remedy. He’s dealing with a problem of the soul. The death and suffering he has seen has almost destroyed his will to live. Yet there is something in him that is reaching for the light of your love for him. Just love him,” she said tenderly. “That is what he needs most.”

Carrie’s eyes glistened with tears. “I’m trying,” she whispered. “I love him so much, but what if I don’t show him in the right way? What if I don’t communicate it in a way he can hear? What if I’m the reason he dies?” Her voice broke as her shoulders slumped.

Aunt Abby wrapped her close and stroked her hair. “Nonsense, Carrie. You are the most loving person I know. You are pouring such amazing love into him, but…”

Carrie leaned back when she hesitated. “But what?”

“But it’s still up to Robert. No one can make us do, or not do, anything. Every action we take is a matter of our own will,” she said firmly but kindly. “If Robert gives up, it won’t be because you didn’t love him in the right way. It will be because he makes a decision, deep within his soul, that he is too afraid of the light to leave the darkness.”

Carrie groaned. “He’s been through so much the last five years. He has changed so much and overcome so many challenges. It’s just not fair that he has to go through this now.”

May stepped forward then. “Ain’t nothin’ bout life fair, Miss Carrie. I done lost my man and my fine babies ‘bout twenty years ago when my master sold me to someone else here in Richmond.”

Carrie gasped. “I didn’t know that, May! You never told me.”

“No. I didn’t reckon there be any need to. Ain’t nobody can change the past. I learned a long time ago that all I could do was live my life right now. I could let the bitterness and regret eat me up, or I could choose to live. I reckon I chose to live. It weren’t no easy decision, but it was the right one.” She took a breath and continued. “I saw a bunch o’ people make a diff’rent decision. I saw some of them people waste away with a broken heart ‘til they were mostly dead themselves.”

“Like Robert,” Carrie said softly.

“Like Mr. Robert,” May agreed. “But,” she continued in a strong voice, “Mr. Robert got somethin’ them other people didn’t have. He have you. It ain’t been long at all since Mr. Robert got home. I know it seems like a long time ‘cause you want things to be diff’rent, but it only been less den two weeks.” She moved forward and laid a hand on Carrie’s arm. “Two weeks ain’t nothin’, Miss Carrie. You just keep right on lovin’ Mr. Robert. I reckon he’ll come back to you when he’s ready and his heart done healed from all de bad things that man seen.”

Carrie took a deep breath and gazed at the two strong women looking at her with so much love. “What would I do without the two of you?” she murmured. “I am so very lucky.”

“That you are!” May snapped with satisfaction. “Now it’s time to get on out of my kitchen so I can make some food for the army that’s about to show up.” She reached over, grabbed a handful of molasses cookies, and shoved them into Carrie’s hands. “You and Miss Abby go on out to the porch and eat these while you watch the storm that will be rolling up soon.”

“A storm?” Carrie asked in surprise. “I was just outside. I didn’t see evidence of a storm.”

“That’s ‘cause your heart be too stuck in your problems,” May snorted. “You go on out there and see if I be right. And don’t you let them cookies spoil your appetite or you won’t get any more!”

Carrie and Aunt Abby were laughing as they walked out on the porch and settled on the swing. Carrie’s eyes widened as she looked at the horizon and saw a boiling mass of gray clouds scurrying in their direction. “May was right!” she exclaimed. “There is a storm coming.”

Aunt Abby looked at her and then glanced at the approaching storm. “You sound rather happy about it.”

“I love storms,” Carrie replied. She looked closer at Aunt Abby. “You seem a little nervous.”

Aunt Abby shrugged, trying to hide her concern. “Let’s just say I think storms are best experienced from within the house.”

“You’ve never been outside in a storm?” Carrie asked in astonishment.

“I’ve chosen to experience them differently,” Aunt Abby replied, jumping when a roll of thunder was followed by a bolt of lightning. She eyed the front door longingly.

Carrie laughed and moved closer to her in the swing, taking her hand. “It’s high time you learned to enjoy a powerful spring storm,” she replied firmly. “Father and I used to always sit outside on the porch to watch the storms.”

“Where was your mother?”

“Hiding in the house,” Carrie admitted, grinning when another bolt of jagged lightning split the sky. She squeezed Aunt Abby’s hand when a rumbling roll of thunder seemed to wrap around them, the air almost electric.

“I’m thinking your mother was the sane one of the family,” Aunt Abby muttered, but she didn’t close her eyes when the next lightning bolt struck. She leaned forward and stared up at the sky. “The clouds are rather amazing,” she said slowly. “They seem to be swirling in their own kind of dance. I must admit they are rather beautiful.”

“Now you’re catching on,” Carrie laughed.

“When will it start to rain?”

Carrie cast a practiced eye at the sky. “Oh, I’d say we have a few more minutes of the light show before the rain obscures it.” She smiled at Aunt Abby’s look of astonishment. “Don’t forget I’m a country plantation girl, my dear lady. My father taught me everything he knew from the time I was quite little. Just because I didn’t want to stay on the plantation doesn’t mean I didn’t love it and learn all I could.”

“And now, Carrie?” Aunt Abby asked suddenly. “What about now? I know how much you want to go home.”

Carrie took her eyes away from the sky and gazed into Aunt Abby’s eyes. It was time to talk about what she was feeling. “Yes, I want to go home,” she replied. “I want a sense of normalcy. I want to get out of the city. I’ve felt trapped here for so long. I long for fresh air and open spaces.” She paused. “And I also believe the plantation will help Robert. That’s his world. He needs to be able to breathe real air that isn’t clogged with dust and fumes.” She stopped and gazed at the sky as the first huge raindrops plopped onto the dusty roads, creating their own kind of dance. “And I want Father to go home. He will need me,” she said simply.

“But…”

Carrie smiled, not bothering to ask how Aunt Abby knew there was more. “But, I don’t want to stay there,” she admitted. “I still want to go to medical school. It seems even more impossible now than it did before the war,” she said, “but everything I did in the hospital only made me hungrier to learn more — to do more.” She took a deep breath. “I’m meant to be a doctor,” she said simply. Then she flushed. “Does that make me bad?”

“Excuse me?”

“I have a husband who is gravely ill. My Father needs me to help him rebuild his life on the plantation. I fear I am incredibly selfish to still dream of being a doctor.”

“Rubbish!” Aunt Abby snorted.

Carrie shook her head. “I’m not a girl anymore,” she protested. “I’m a woman who has responsibilities. Perhaps I was just supposed to help in the hospital and then relinquish that dream so that I can care for the people who need me.”

Aunt Abby reached forward and turned her head, forcing her to look into her eyes. “I don’t believe you mean that,” she said softly.

Carrie flushed but met her eyes squarely. “I believe I
should
mean it,” she whispered, tears filling her eyes.

Aunt Abby sighed and pulled her into her arms. “Carrie, I know life can be nothing but a confusing mess at times, but I believe with all my heart that you’re meant to be a doctor. God would not have given you your passion, or your gifts, if it was not the plan for your life. But that doesn’t mean we can understand the timing of everything.” She paused. “I’ve discovered over and over again that life is what happens
after
I make my plans. I have to be willing to roll with whatever is happening and believe the time will come if something is meant to be. I simply have to keep walking toward my dream.”

“Keep walking…” Carrie murmured.

“Yes,” Aunt Abby replied firmly. “You can’t go to medical school right this minute, but that doesn’t mean your chance isn’t coming. You have to continue to do all you can right now to prepare for that time.”

Carrie sighed. “I would love nothing more than to get my hands on the latest medical books,” she said longingly. “I know there must have been huge advancements in the last four years that I know nothing about.”

“Then you’re going to love the shipment coming in on the train tomorrow,” Aunt Abby said smugly.

Carrie gasped when she saw the dancing light in Aunt Abby’s eyes. “You mean…?”

Aunt Abby laughed. “I spoke with Dr. Strikener while I was in Washington, DC.”

Carrie’s eyes widened. “The good-looking doctor I met in the hospital ward? The one who seemed to be quite taken with a certain gray-eyed businesswoman from Philadelphia?”

Aunt Abby snorted but grinned. “I suppose that would be the one,” she admitted. “Anyway, he agreed to put together a box of all the books being used in the first year of medical school right now. They should be here tomorrow. I believe they will keep you busy for quite some time.”

Carrie was both laughing and crying when she fell into Aunt Abby’s arms again. “You are wonderful!” she cried. “If I ever become a doctor, it will be because of you.”

“Nonsense!” Aunt Abby responded, her eyes shining with pleasure. “It will be because you have persevered through enormous challenges to make your dream come true. All I will have done is lend a helping hand.” She smiled. “And I will be the proudest person in the audience when you get your medical degree.”

*****

The storm had blown out its fury by the time May put a fresh plate of molasses cookies on the table for dessert. A strong breeze swirled through the curtains as lamplight flickered and danced on the walls. The smells of rain, magnolias, and spring drifted in, mingling with the lingering odors of ham, biscuits, and collard greens.

Rose leaned back in her chair and sighed deeply. “I used to dream of times just like this one when I was in the contraband camp. All of us together…”

Moses nodded. “The idea of it kept me going through the worst of the war. I had to believe that someday it would be over and I would just get to sit around a table like a normal person.”

Jeremy chuckled. “It seems rather surreal to me. It wasn’t that long ago that I was an only child with a single father. It still amazes me that I have a big family. Most of the time I feel I’m living in a fantasy world, but it’s one I hope never ends.”

“It will never end,” Carrie said firmly. “You’re stuck with all of us, my dearest uncle.”

“Ah…” Jeremy said smugly. “It does my heart good to hear my strong-willed niece acknowledge me as her wise uncle.”

Carrie snorted. “I remember saying dearest — the wise part must be another segment of your fantasy.”

Everyone was laughing as Miles walked into the dining room holding an envelope.

“You’s got mail, Miss Carrie.”

“My father?” Carrie asked eagerly, reaching for it.