Carried Forward By Hope (24 page)

“That’s hopeful,” he muttered.

“It can be,” she replied calmly, her eyes gazing into his. “Once you accept that suffering will never cease, you also have the chance to accept that God will never leave you alone in the suffering. Instead, he empowers you to sit in the midst of the suffering and taste the coming joy.”

Jeremy stared at her. “You sound like my father.”

Aunt Abby smiled. “Thank you for the compliment. I understand your father was a remarkable man.”

Jeremy nodded. “He was.”

“It’s rather depressing to know that suffering will never end,” Carrie said slowly.

“Haven’t you already learned that in the last four years?” Aunt Abby asked gently.

Carrie nodded reluctantly. “Yes, but I suppose I hoped it would end with the war.”

Aunt Abby shook her head. “The war didn’t cause the suffering. The suffering was caused by people’s choices made from greed and fear. Unfortunately, that is the human condition.”

“So it never ends?” Rose asked, her eyes flashing in protest.

“The suffering never ends,” Abby responded, “but that doesn’t mean you can’t taste the coming joy.” She gazed around the table. “Nothing lasts forever. The suffering will end and joy will come. And,” she added tenderly, “the joy will end and suffering will return.”

“The circle of life,” Jeremy murmured.

“Yes,” Aunt Abby agreed. “The suffering is never something we look forward to, but if we can hold on to the fact that joy will return, it becomes much easier to bear.”

“I could use some joy about right now,” Carrie said.

“Then choose it,” Aunt Abby said bluntly, her eyes direct, but kind.

“Choose it?”

“Yes. When hard times hit, the best thing you can do is focus on all the things you have to be grateful for. Like all of us here together after four years of war. Like Robert’s still being alive. Like Matthew having survived the explosion. Like Cromwell Plantation not being destroyed in the war.” She paused. “I’m sure you can come up with many more.”

Carrie flushed and lowered her head. “You’re right,” she said remorsefully. “Of course you’re right.” She raised her head and stared at Aunt Abby. “Do you think I will ever learn how to trust God?”

Aunt Abby jumped up to wrap her in a hug. “Of course you will.” She swept her arm across the table. “All of you will. I just happen to have a twenty-five-year head start on you. What’s the use of getting older if some wisdom doesn’t come along with the wrinkles,” she said teasingly.

“Wrinkles?” Carrie snorted. “You’re the most beautiful woman I know!”

“Thank you, but I’m not blind about what I see in the mirror,” Aunt Abby laughed. “The thing is that it doesn’t bother me. I have discovered that the more sand that escapes from my hourglass of life, the more clearly I can see what is important.”

Rose laughed. “My mama used to tell me that getting old and wrinkled was better than the alternative of death.”

“She was right,” Aunt Abby said. “Now, no more sadness. We can feel compassion for the families who are dealing with pain, but we can also rejoice that Matthew and Peter are coming home to us.”

“And on that note,” May announced as the door swung open from where she had obviously been listening, “I gots a hot rhubarb pie just waiting for some hungry people.”

“Rhubarb pie?” Moses exclaimed. “Can I help you carry it in?”

“What? And have your big hands stealing a piece before it ever gets to the table?” May demanded. “You sit right there, boy. I’ll be bringin’ this pie in myself!”

Laughter rang around the table as Moses settled back with a chastised look on his face, his eyes dancing with mischief.

A sound of boots on the porch had everyone turning around.

“Are we expecting anyone?” Jeremy asked.

Carrie shook her head and jumped up. “Perhaps it’s a messenger with a letter from Father.” She pushed back her chair and walked toward the door. “Coming,” she called.

“I certainly hope so. The porch isn’t that grand of a place.”

Carrie jolted to a stop and stared at the door. “Father!” She leaped forward and flung the door open. She fell into his outstretched arms, laughing and crying. “You’re home!”

Thomas hugged her tightly and finally pushed her back far enough so he could stare down into her face. “Carrie,” he murmured. “I missed you so much!”

“Father,” she said, reaching up to stroke his tired face. “I’m so glad you’re home. I’ve missed you every moment and worried about you so much.” She hesitated. “Are you home for good? Do you have to leave again?”

Thomas shook his head firmly. “I’m not leaving. We received word that President Johnson had put out an award for the top Confederate officials, but the rest of us are clear to return home. I left Danville as soon as I was sure the information was correct.” A brief smile flitted across his face as he gazed around his house. “So, I’m not leaving. Except to go home to the plantation,” he added. The smile faded as dark shadows filled his eyes. “If it’s still there.”

“It’s there!” Carried proclaimed gladly. She answered the question in his eyes. “It’s
all
still there. There has been no damage.”

Thomas gasped as his eyes lit with gladness. “Are you sure? How can you know this?”

Carrie laughed. “It’s quite a long story…” When Thomas laughed in return, Carrie’s heart surged with gladness. She was quite sure it had been a long time since he laughed.

“It’s always a long story,” he said teasingly. He lifted his nose and sniffed. “Do you think May has any of that soup left? I’ve been dreaming about her vegetable soup for the last month.”

May’s shining face appeared around the corner. “I just set a bowl down on the table for you. Welcome home!”

Thomas smiled. “Thank you, May,” he said gratefully.

He looked back down at Carrie as he pulled off his coat. “I thought I heard voices when I walked up on the porch. Is Jeremy here?” he asked hopefully.

Jeremy appeared around the corner. “In the flesh,” he said with a broad grin, stepping forward to shake Thomas’s hand and wrap him in a warm embrace. “Welcome home. You were missed.”

Thomas cleared his throat as he stepped back. “You have no idea how wonderful it is to be home,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

“You heard more than Jeremy’s voice,” Carrie said. “We have rather a houseful right now.” She hoped her father wouldn’t feel overwhelmed. “So much has happened in the last month.” She knew the rest were giving her this space to welcome her father home.

“The whole world has turned upside down,” her father said simply. “I can only imagine the stories you have to tell. Let’s go in the dining room so I can meet our houseful and hear your stories. And eat May’s soup,” he added. He paused before he turned. “On one condition, however.”

Carrie smiled up at him, knowing by his relaxed tone that it was something good. “And what would that condition be?”

“That as soon as you introduce me, you go out and see a horse that has been whinnying since we reached the Richmond city limits.”

Tears flowed again as Carrie laughed. “Granite,” she whispered. “I was afraid to ask.”

“Your horse is doing extremely well, young lady. He’s put on weight since he won the heart of the innkeeper where I stayed. I’m quite certain she fed him more than she fed me,” he said with a smile.

Carrie grabbed his hand and pulled him around the corner. “There’s only one person you need to actually meet,” she said quickly. “The rest you know.”

Thomas hesitated when he entered the dining room and saw Rose and Moses gazing at him, but for only a moment. He smiled, strode forward, took Rose’s hands and pulled her to her feet. “Hello, Rose,” he said warmly. When she opened her mouth to say something, he put a finger to his lips. “I’ve waited a long time to say this.”

Rose closed her mouth and waited.

Thomas took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry for what my father did to your mother, but I’m just as sorry that I kept you a slave and sent Jeremy away. I did what I thought was the best thing at the time, but I know now that it was wrong.” He squeezed her hands. “I know we have a lot of history to overcome, but I want you to know I’m proud to have you as my half-sister. If even half of what Carrie says is true, you are an amazing woman. I saw you grow up, but I realize I don’t know you at all. I want that to change.”

Rose gaped at him, her eyes wide with disbelief. Finally she found her voice. “Carrie said you had changed,” she murmured.

Thomas laughed, his lined face relaxing to reveal how handsome he still was. “Yes, that would be putting it mildly,” he said ruefully.

He swung around to grip Moses’s hand. “Hello, Moses.” His eyes swept Moses’s strong, confident face.

“Hello, sir,” Moses said gravely.

Thomas’s eyes suddenly filled with tears. “Thank you,” he said softly. “Thank you for saving Carrie at the plantation. I so hoped the day would come when I could thank you in person. You saved the most precious thing in the world to me. I will never be able to repay you. And now you’re my brother-in-law. Welcome.”

Carrie stared at her father, her eyes glazed with joyful tears. Yes, he had already changed, but evidently the month away from home and the end of the war had changed him even more. She knew he would be welcoming to Moses and Rose, but she had not envisioned this warm meeting.

“You’re welcome, sir,” Moses said, his eyes shining with surprise. “I love your daughter. I would do anything for her.”

Carrie stepped forward. “He also saved Robert, Father, but that is a story for later.” She turned to where Aunt Abby was sitting quietly, a sheen of happy tears in her eyes. “And this beautiful woman is Abigail Livingston.”

Thomas turned and gazed down. “Abigail Livingston,” he said quietly. Then his eyes widened. “You’re Aunt Abby?”

Aunt Abby laughed. “Right with just one guess,” she said, rising to extend her hand. “It is such a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Cromwell.”

“Likewise, Mrs. Livingston, but please call me Thomas. We’re all family here.”

Aunt Abby smiled. “Certainly, but only if you call me Abby.”

Carrie understood when a small shadow appeared in his eyes behind the smile.

So, evidently, did Aunt Abby. “I’m so sorry,” she said softly. “I had forgotten for a moment that Abigail was your dear wife’s name. I understand it might be painful to call me that.”

Thomas shook his head, his smile genuine when it came forth again. “Nonsense, Abby. It’s wonderful to have you here.” He peered around the room. “Any more surprises?”

Just then June swung down the stairs singing. She had been sitting with Robert after putting John and Simon down for the night.

“That newest surprise is June,” Carrie replied. “She is Moses’s sister.” She smiled at June. “And this is my father. He just arrived home.”

June grinned broadly. “Welcome home, Mr. Cromwell. Carrie has been real worried about you.”

Thomas swung around to gaze at Moses for a moment and then turned back to smile at June. “Hello, June. It’s wonderful to meet you.” He eyed Carrie with a question on his face.

“Robert is upstairs,” she said quietly, anticipating his question. “He can’t come down because he is still too ill.”

“How long?” Thomas asked quietly, his expression saying he had seen far too many consequences of the war.

“He’s been here since two days after Appomattox. We found him in the hospital and brought him home.” Carrie briefly explained his condition, knowing her father would be aware of how hard this was — a potential repeat of her mother’s slow death. She stepped forward and took her father’s hand. “Robert is getting stronger physically, but his spirit seems to have shut down.”

Thomas nodded. “I understand.” His simple words rang through the room, somehow conveying just how much he truly did understand. “He needs the plantation,” he said firmly.

Carrie nodded. “You’re so right. I’m just waiting for him to get strong enough to move.”

“You were going out there on your own?” Thomas asked.

Carrie smiled. “Only if on your own means with Jeremy, Rose, Moses, and Aunt Abby.”

Thomas stared around the room and sank down in front of his bowl of soup. “I guess it’s time to start hearing the stories,” he said simply.

“Don’t you be touchin’ that soup, Mr. Cromwell,” May called. “Y’all done talked so long that it done got cold. I’m bringing out some fresh right now.”

Thomas smiled when she appeared with a hot bowl of soup and a plate of steaming cornbread. “That looks wonderful,” he said, inhaling the aroma and closing his eyes in delight when he took the first bite. “I missed you, May,” he murmured. Everyone was laughing when he opened his eyes. “I seem to remember a condition,” he said, looking at Carrie.

Carrie laughed with delight. “Gladly! You eat dinner. When I get back we’ll have dessert.”

“Unless I eat your piece,” Moses said playfully.

“You do, and I’ll make sure May doesn’t feed you for a week!” Carrie threatened, and then answered the question in everyone’s eyes. “I have a horse to welcome home!”

May was standing at the kitchen door with several carrots when she walked into the kitchen. “I’m thinkin’ these will make that ole horse happy.”