“How do I make this right for her?” She
whispers.
“You can’t.” He needs to use the truth to get
through to her. “You can’t bring her parents back Cassandra. You
can’t get the Earth back for her. All you can do is be there for
her while she adjusts to the world she’s in now. That’s what you’ve
been doing, damn well too.” Resting he’s forehead against hers he
finishes. “I’m here. You don’t have to do this alone. Hang on to
me. I’m not letting go. What can I do?” Cassandra puts her arms
back around his waist hanging on.
“Just what you’re doing,” Leaning back she looks
at him with sad eyes. “She thought if she cried it would mean she
wasn’t brave. Brave like me, because I never let her see me cry.
Brave like you and Lucas for fighting the Regulians. If she missed
my father, her parents, then she was letting us down.”
William’s throat tightens at the thought of any
nine cycle thinking they needed to be that strong. Not knowing what
to say he leans down to kiss her. “We’ll figure something out,
together, because we are together Cassandra, never doubt.”
“I’m working on that.” She replies. William’s
serious eyes reminding her that he’d had something on his mind
earlier.
“So what is it that I need to know?”
“What?”
“This isn’t the conversation you had in mind
when you came in tonight. There is something you need to tell me.
What?” The connecting door opens before William can reply.
“Aunt Cassie?” He lets her slip out of his
arms.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“I’m tired.” Cassandra shots a look to
William.
“Well then I’d say it’s time we get you home and
into bed.”
“Okay, I already picked up my work.”
“Wow without me telling you too?” That gets a
tired grin out of her. William walks over and squats down.
“Do you mind if I carry you to your quarters?”
He can’t to call it their home. Tori shakes her head and steps
trustingly into his arms.
“I’ll go get her things.”
By the time they arrive at quarters she’s fast
asleep. William puts her in the bed as Cassandra secures the door.
Removing her shoes she covers her, lowering the lights. Turning to
William she takes his hand leading him to the couch.
“So Admiral, what did you need to tell me?”
William hasn’t had time to decide how to tell
her. Should it be the straight out truth that he’d been
irresponsible? Would she ever trust him again? Would she be
upset?
“William?” She’s starting to get nervous.
“Did I ever tell you about Salish?” His voice,
quiet enough not to wake Victoria.
“Your wife?” Cassandra’s taken by surprise.
“Past-wife.” He corrects.
“There’s a difference?”
“Definitely! We concluded our union ten cycles
before she was killed.”
“Oh.”
“I’ve never talked about this Cassandra. No one
knows about it, not my sons’ not even Quinn.”
“William, you don’t need to tell me.”
“You’re my life-mate, you have the right to know
why I had a union with another.” Not sure what to say she remains
silent.
“We met when I was stationed at Annam, on
Carina. Her father owned the rathskeller next to the base. I was
twenty-five and full of myself. I’d just come off my first three
cycle tour and thought I was invincible. She was twenty-four and
the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Every man wanted her. I was
the one she gave herself too.” William is caught up in the past and
doesn’t notice how still Cassandra’s become.
“We were together whenever I was off duty. After
a month she tells me she’s conceived. It crosses my mind that she
shouldn’t have I’d been taking the Ollali juice. We unite within
the week. Then I have to leave for six weeks. When I get back I
don’t worry about the Ollali Juice since she’s already conceived.
Five weeks later she tells me she’s with child.” At Cassandra’s
shocked breath he final looks at her, noticing her intense blue
eyes and still body.
“She lied to you.”
“I allowed myself to be lied too. There’s a
difference. I knew I was on the Ollali Juice, but didn’t question
her. By the time she told me, she’d conceived Lucas and it didn’t
matter. She was still having my child.”
“So you stayed.”
“Yes.”
“I take it this Ollali Juice is some type of
birth control.”
“Birth Control?”
“So you can’t get or in this case cause someone
else to conceive.”
“Yes, it is the male’s responsibility.”
“Really? On Earth it was mostly the woman’s
since she’s the one that
gets
pregnant…conceives.”
“Where’s the man’s?”
“There if he wants to be.”
“Doesn’t sound like much of a man.”
“
Sometimes you’re right. But it’s the
woman’s body. She has the right to say what happens inside it.”
William looks at her.
“That’s what you believe?”
“Yes. You have control over your body with the
Ollali juice. Why shouldn’t a woman have the same?” William just
looks at her then continues.
“Not long after Lucas we had Kyle. Salish stayed
on Carina with the boys. She wanted to be near her family.”
“They didn’t go on tour with you?”
“No.” He sees Victoria is still sleeping.
“After one extended tour I came home and
discovered that there was nothing left of our union except our
sons. So we concluded it.”
“I’m sorry William.” That startles him.
“Why are you sorry?”
“Because it still hurts you,” She leans in to
put a hand on his cheek. “You think you failed. You don’t like to
fail. But you didn’t, she lied to you, but you did the honorable
thing. You didn’t fail.”
“Most life mates wouldn’t see it that way.”
“I’m not most life mates now am I.” She gives
him a slight smile. “What she did was wrong. But what I know is
this, if she hadn’t tricked you into a union then you’d never of
had Lucas. If you hadn’t had Lucas then he wouldn’t have crashed on
Earth. If he hadn’t crashed then you wouldn’t have come to save
Victoria and me. If you hadn’t done that then I wouldn’t have found
you
. So while I think what she did is absolutely wrong I’m
thankful she did.” Cassandra leans in to finish her little speech
with a gentle kiss. William, stunned, pulls her closer.
“So why did you want me to know this?” Leaning
back she looks at him. Taking a deep breath William is ready to
tell her when her comm center rings.
Jumping out of his arms Cassandra moves to
silence the ring before it wakes Victoria. Picking up the headset
she answers.
“Chamberlain. Just a minute, it’s Quinn for
you.” Handing him the headset she steps away.
“Zafar.” He watches Cassandra. “I’ll be right
there. I need to leave.”
“I gathered that.” She walks him to the
hatch.
“Cassandra, we need to finish this. There are
things you still need to understand.”
“But not now, now you need to be the Admiral.
We’ll talk later.” She opens the hatch, securing it as he walks
away. William is half way down the corridor before he realizes he
hasn’t kissed her goodbye.
Turning from the door Cassandra’s mind is
racing. What’s really going on here? Why did William want her to
know about Salish? Just to know? Or is there something else? He’s
an honorable man, she’s always known that. This just reinforces it.
Unable to come to a satisfactory conclusion Cassandra changes and
climbs in next to Tori. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. Maybe
she’ll find the answers then.
During breakfast Cassandra answers her comm
center to find Javiera on the other end.
“How are things going there?”
“Pretty good, we’re just finishing first
meal.”
“Well Amina has been begging me to call to see
if Victoria would be up for a visitor this afternoon.” Cassandra
looks at Tori.
“I think that would be a great idea. She’s
starting to climb the walls here.”
“Great! It’s a date then. We’ll see you around
1500.” Cassandra turns to Tori.
“Well it looks like we’re having company this
afternoon.”
“Yes!”
“So we’ll study for awhile, then after lunch see
how your feeling.”
“Aunt Cassie. I’m fine.”
“We’ll see. Done?”
“Yes.”
“Then let’s get started.”
Before they know it, Hutu was at the door with
second meal. After they eat it’s Cassandra that’s feeling tired.
She does some quick math and realizing it’s time for her cycle.
“Crap!” She mutters. How is she supposed to
handle this? She knows her body. She’s going to be in for a lousy
day and a half. Most women had a five day cycle every twenty eight
days. While Cassandra is lucky to only have hers every forty five
days, she pays the price by having the five days condensed down
into just thirty six hours. On Earth she had all the supplies she
needed. Here…
“Is something wrong Aunt Cassie?” Victoria looks
at her.
“No honey nothing’s wrong. So you want to take a
rest before Amina comes or work a little longer?”
“Let’s work a little longer.”
At 1500 Javiera is knocking at Tori’s door.
Opening the hatch Amina goes rushing by to find Tori.
“Amina, manners!”
“Sorry. Hi Cassie” Amina says as she hugs Tori.
Javiera smiles an apology to Cassandra as she comes into the
room.
“She all but ran here.”
“That’s okay, Tori’s been the same. She’s pretty
sure I’m taking Dr Bliant too seriously.”
“But you’re not.” Javiera says in a knowing
mother’s voice. Cassandra gives her a grateful smile. “Are
you
okay? You’re not looking very good.”
Cassandra looks to see that the girls were
chattering away on the bed. Does she confide in Javiera. Could she
not?
“Javiera, what do Carinian women do when they
have their menstrual cycle?”
“Their what?” Cassandra is trying to figure out
how to explain.
“When you conceived Amina, you knew
because…”
“Well my first clue was I missed my flow….oh…so
which is it?” She asks.
“Which?”
“Have you conceived or…”
“No
!” The girls look over then return to
their conversation.
“No.” Cassandra says in a lower voice. “My
‘flow’ is starting. I don’t have anything to…”
“Understand. Why don’t I just run back to our
quarters, get you what you need.” Cassandra gives her a grateful
look. Surprisingly what she brought back wasn’t that different from
what she was used too. Carinian and Earth woman seemed to have very
similar biology.
“Thank you again Javiera. You’re a life saver.”
Cassandra says opening the hatch.
“Please, we woman have to stick together. I’ll
show you where you can get your own supplies sometime when we’re
out. Now you get some rest. You’ve been through a lot lately.”
Securing the hatch Cassandra looks at Tori. The little girl is
starting to fade.
“What do you say we eat dinner here tonight?
I’ll let Hutu know, than we can have an early night.”
“What about the Admiral?”
“I’m sure Hutu will let him know.”
“Shouldn’t we?” Tori persists.
“Tori, if I knew how to get a hold of him I
would. I can’t just call the bridge asking for him.”
“Why not?”
“Because he’s the Admiral, that’s not something
you do. Please. Enough.”
“Okay.” A little while later Hutu arrives with
their meals. Cassandra’s looking ill enough for Hutu to notice.
“Are you alright?” He asks as Cassandra walks
him to the hatch.
“I’m fine.” She insists as she secures the door.
Picking up her forc she finds she really has no appetite.
“Aunt Cassie? What’s wrong?” Cassandra looks at
her niece. Does she tell her the truth? Had Cyndy ever talked to
her about these things?
“Aunt Cassie, are you sick?” Tori’s voice
wavers.
“No honey, no.” She has to calm her fears.
Setting down her forc she looks at Tori. “I don’t know if your mom
ever told you about what happens to your body when you become a
woman.”
“You mean your menstrual cycle?”
“Yes.” She closes her eyes relieved.
“Yeah, we had this whole talk about it last
year. Mom showed me all the ‘stuff’. It was weird. So that’s why to
don’t feel good? Your cycle?”
“That’s about it.”
“Wow. I didn’t know it could do that. I hope I
never get it.”
“Sorry kid you will, but not for awhile. Now you
eat. I’m going to take a shower.”
In the Admiral’s quarters Hutu delivers a single
meal. William looks at the solitary plate and realizes that less
than a week ago he wouldn’t have noticed. Now it looks wrong.
“I took the ladies their dinner at 1800 sir.”
Hutu hesitates.
“What is it Hutu.”
“Cassie looks ill sir. She said she was fine
but… I thought you should know.”
“Thank you Hutu.” William’s gut clenches. Is she
already having conception side effects? Why hadn’t she called him?
Going to his comm center he rings their quarters.
“Hello.” Victoria answers.
“Victoria, this is the Admiral.”
“Hi Admiral.”
“I need to talk to Cassandra.” He realizes he
needs to hear her voice.
“She’s in the shower, she’s not feeling good.”
The shower shut off. “Sounds like she’s done, you want me to get
her?”
“Yeah.” It takes several minutes but he can hear
Cassandra telling Tori to get in. Finally she picks up the
headset.
“Hi.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Wrong? There’s nothing wrong here.”
“You’re not feeling well.”
“How could you possible know…” She breaks off
turning to looking towards the bathroom.
“Hutu, then Tori. What’s wrong?” He repeats.
“William it’s really nothing. I’m just tired.
Everything’s catching up with me.”
“Why didn’t you let me know? I’ll call Bliant
and be right over.”
“No. William no! I don’t need Bliant. Honestly.
I just want to get some sleep.”