Catalyst (Forevermore, Book Two) (25 page)

I shook my head in frustration with myself. Maybe my aunt had been right, at least a little. This whole boy thing was driving me crazy. And, no matter what I decided, I knew one would be hurt.

On my way to Hannah and Ezra’s apartment, I made sure to take the most public route possible, despite it doubling my travel time. I passed by shops and drug stores, and only the occasional alley — each of which made me nervous. I tightened my arms around me and ducked my head as I swiftly walked along the sidewalks, hoping that no one around would notice me — human or witch. The further I walked, the more my mind became clouded with thoughts of Alan and Mathias. I wanted nothing more at that moment than to have either of them by my side, walking along with me and warding off any threats that might come. Mathias had sworn to protect me, yet he couldn’t be with me, and it felt like I needed to be the one protecting him. Alan had offered to walk with me and I was stupid enough to decline. My feelings for the two boys confused me and made my head whirl and my heart flutter with excitement, something I never experienced in school. Every boy there had seemed ordinary and uninteresting to me, but then I met Mathias and everything changed. He cared about me, wanted to be around me and wasn’t only interested in me because I was pretty or different … but so did Alan. Alan was right — sooner or later, one of us was going to get hurt.

But it didn
’t matter. Not right now. All that mattered now was helping Mathias. Whether I liked him in that way or not, he was still a Clan member; he was still a friend … and a good person.

Hannah was sitting in the armchair with a book in her hand, flipping through the pages and seemingly ignoring my presence. I opened my mouth to speak and she put a finger up to silence me, then flipped the page again and placed a bookmark where she’d left off.

“
I never pictured you as someone who reads anything other than my mother’s diaries,” I said and watched her eyes rise to meet mine.

“
Oh, please,” she said dully and sat up. “What do you want now?”

“
Who says I want anything?”

Hannah grimaced and her eyes darkened.
“It doesn’t take a psychic to know that you only come here now when you need or want something.”

I sat on the futon and went to apologize, then thought better of it. Hannah didn
’t deserve my apologies. She was the one that came to me only because she needed something, wasn’t she?

“
I’ve been doing some digging around, and I may have figured something out that might help Mathias.”

My aunt
’s lips formed a thin line. She closed the book completely and set it down on the lopsided coffee table. “You have come to me with this stupid nonsense again? What did I tell you before about love and boys?”

“
Look,” I said, ignoring her as best as I could, “Artemis said there was only one other Shimmerer. I found out who they are. They’ve been using their gift for a lot longer than Mathias has and they aren’t sick, so they have to know something.”

She shrugged with disinterest.
“Why are you telling me this and not them? If you hadn’t noticed, I’m not a Shimmerer.”

“
I know that. I just thought that maybe you could help me get to them.”

“
And why would I do that?”

“
I don’t know, maybe because you’re my aunt and it would prevent someone from dying?”

Hannah almost looked amused as she
leaned back in the chair. “I have been alive for a very, very long time, Madison. I have lost countless people over the years, and there aren’t many of them that I miss. People come and go; it’s the way life works. As long as I am here, that’s all that truly matters, isn’t it? And well, you too, I guess. I do sort of need you to make sure nothing happens to me in the long run.”

Slightly taken aback
— although I probably shouldn’t have been — I asked, “... what about Ezra?”

She shrugged.
“Him, too, I guess ... but better he die than me.”

With a gasp, I stared at her in awe of how cruel she was.
“You’re a cold-hearted bitch. Really.”

Hannah didn
’t seem affected in the least by my comment and only smirked.

Shaking my head in disgust, I was tempted to leave right then and there, but I had to get out what I came to say.

“I know where the Nefastus’s hideout is and I thought that you could maybe sneak in and get some answers. Manipulate them with your vampire powers or something. That other Shimmerer, he’s one of them. It’s somewhere hidden at the base of the Rocky Mountains ...”

She looked amused and tilted her head to the side.
“Sneaking into a magic-protected lair of evil witches isn’t quite the same as popping a lock on a teenage girl’s window, now is it?”

“
I just thought —”

“
It doesn’t matter what you thought. You need to forget about all of this and leave it alone. You’re supposed to be working on your gifts for when the time comes where we’ll need them. Not getting yourself mixed up in fascinations over boys who will only break your heart in the end.”

“
Whether you help me or not, I’m going to talk to this guy. Even if I have to walk up to the front door and ask them right then and there. If you’re so worried about keeping me alive, you’re going to have to either help me or stop me.”

I turned and headed out the door
, slamming it behind me. Deeply inhaling the cold air, I felt myself shudder with resentment and annoyance. It was beginning to feel like no one wanted to help me, and my aunt was only using me for the sole purpose of killing my twin brother. I didn’t know what to do next, but I needed to do something. Death wasn’t something I wanted to face — not now, not yet, preferably never — but nor did I want Mathias to die, and it felt like I was the only one willing to make sure that didn’t happen any time soon. I contemplated the idea of asking Serena to drive me to Rocky Mountain National Park, but I didn’t want to endanger her; she’d been through enough already.

As I continued walking, I wracked my brain with what I should do –
what I was supposed to do. Should I just let Artemis handle it? No, I had to do more. I didn’t even know exactly where this Nefastus place was even if I did decide to waltz in there, though. The only person I could think of that might be able to help there, through some persuasion, was Noah. He knew a lot about the location, apparently … and seemingly much more. I glanced down at my feet and spotted a small stone and kicked it out of frustration. I jumped in surprise when I heard someone yell “Ow!”

I recognized the voice immediately and was more than a little surprised to find Hannah
standing less than fifteen feet in front of me.

“
I will help you, just don’t do anything stupid. Give me a little time to figure something out, and I’ll go.”

Fighting the urge to hug her, I just nodded with an appreciative smile.
“Thanks.”

“
Don’t even bother. I’m not doing this to make you happy. I’m doing it to make sure you don’t die.”

“
Still seems like something to be thankful for to me.”

She didn
’t reply, just walked past me and back toward the apartments. Despite having essentially gotten what I wanted, I felt no relief. Hannah said she’d need a
little time
to figure out what to do, and I wasn’t sure how long she meant. If her perception of a little time was anything like Artemis’s, Mathias could be gone by then.

Exam days came and went. I had a feeling my results weren’t going to be good ones, but I hardly cared. My mind and energy was waning; all I could think about was Mathias and Hannah. I hadn’t heard back from her and it had already been three days since she’d promised to help me. Phone calls made to her went unanswered and I told myself if I didn’t hear anything after Thanksgiving night I was going to go over to her apartment again and demand answers. Eila gave me permission to invite any of the Clan members I wanted to our Thanksgiving dinner, since it was already going to be disjointed and weird and lacking most of our relatives anyway. Her parents hadn’t come for a holiday since I was really little, and Jason’s parents were separated and didn’t want to bring any drama with them to the celebration.

Elijah and Forrest declined, saying they
’d be spending the day with each other, reminding me that they didn’t celebrate the holiday. Iris opted out, too, because she didn’t celebrate either. Alan, Noah, and even Lydia, all said they’d come. Lydia shocked me the most, considering how uncommunicative she was and how she was afraid to be around people. I wondered if she was becoming lonely and lost in her mind, that she needed this as an excuse to let others in, even if she was afraid of the consequences.

And then there was Mathias.

He was still confined to his room, now under strict observation on Tobias’s behalf. He told me that Mathias’s condition was worsening, that he was deteriorating rapidly, and that any strain was not ideal. I wanted desperately to push Tobias out of the way and force myself into the room and through that damned force field ... because if there was a possibility that I might lose him altogether, I wanted at least a moment with him before he was gone. Tobias wouldn’t let that happen, though.

At first the suffering came out in pitiful whimpers that barely made a sound, wracking my body until the tears finally flooded down my cheeks and I cried until I couldn
’t breathe. Alan found me like that, huddled up in the hallway, tucked away into a corner bawling my eyes out, only a few feet away from Mathias’s room. I couldn’t handle it anymore.

“
Madison —”Alan’s voice was panicked as he ran over and kneeled down by me. “Madison?!”

He pulled me up from the floor and I hung limply in his grasp. He shook me and I struggled to look at him through my bleary eyes.

“Madison ...”

I felt my weight lifted from the ground as he cradled me in his arms. Darkness swarmed overhead and I felt
it tugging away at my mind. The movement of his body told me we were going down stairs, and my body jerked and bounced with each descending step. Alan lowered me after walking for what felt like a long time. He steadied me as best as he could, my head lolling to the side until finding a resting place against his shoulder.

“
Madison, listen to me,” he said in a strained voice. “Are you listening?”

My head forced a painful nod.

“We’re going to help you through this,” he explained and I was suddenly aware of another person in the room shuffling about in the distance, although I couldn’t tell who it was. “Take a deep breath and clear your head.”

Stubbornly, I shook my head and held my breath.

“That’s not going to fix anything,” Alan said sternly. “Take a deep breath and clear your mind. It will help.”

My throat burned when I inhaled and exhaled, causing me to clench tightly onto Alan
’s arm, but he didn’t flinch. His arms were steadily circling me and keeping me upright despite my legs’ fighting desire to crumble to the ground.

“
Here,” I heard the voice of the other person in the room — Forrest. “Take a drink.”

A cold object met my lips and water splashed into my mouth. Coughing, I felt the cool liquid slide down my throat, burning along the way as it nearly choked me. Alan
’s grip loosened and I found myself able to stand and rubbed my sleeve gently over my eyes. We were standing in a room I’d never seen before — the weapons room.

Daggers, knives, longswords, s
hields, bows and arrows, maces — every type of weapon I’d ever seen in movies and TV shows, aside from guns, was displayed on a massive wall at the end of the room. The entire area was lined with various punching bags, dummies, and other equipment. They all gleamed underneath the flickering ceiling light overhead. Forrest was now at a table sharpening the blade of one of the many daggers, his eyes never once leaving the steel.

“
Why did you bring me here?” I croaked and took another swig of water.

“
You’re upset,” Alan stated matter-of-factly. “When I am upset, this is where I go to vent my frustrations.”

I looked at him
, confused. “Why here? To sharpen knives with Forrest?”

He smiled gently and shook his head.
“To sharpen my skills with those knives, rather. As well as my fists.”

“
You come in here to practice fighting?”

“
Of course. That’s what it is for. But it isn’t only for that, it can help clear the mind and vent frustration.”

“
How can you play around in this stupid room while Mathias is up there dying!?”

Forrest
stopped sharpening the blade momentarily and frowned. “We’re only trying to help, Castus Young. Castus Forsythe is our friend too ... we don’t want anything to happen to him any more than you do, but there is nothing we can do. He is in Artemis’s hands. There is no better place.”

I scoffed.
“Yeah, that’s what everyone keeps saying.” I wiped my eyes and sniffled, then looked around the room again. “Why do you even bother using all this stuff? Why not just use magic to fight?”