“Julie,” he said. “Finally. Is your father okay?”
“Yes. He’s better than ever. But, I need to talk to you. I need to talk to all of you. Are you at home? Are Mark and Keith there, too?”
“We’re here. Are you coming over?”
“If that’s okay?”
“We’ll be here waiting for you, Julie. We need to talk to you, too.”
Noah opened the door, and Julie walked in. She was immediately lifted off the floor by Mark and twirled around in his arms. “You feel so good,” he said, finally allowing her to stand.
“Leave something for the rest of us,” Keith said, pulling her into his arms before he kissed her long and hard. Julie stepped back feeling like the wind had been knocked out of her. I must be strong, she kept repeating to herself, feeling her resolve weakening.
Noah just looked at her. She wanted to run into his arms, but she stayed where she was.
“You said you wanted to talk to us,” Noah said, his eyes questioning hers.
He knows why I’m here, she thought. But how? Was he already seeing Deanna? “Yes. Can we all go into the kitchen?”
Keith’s and Mark’s expressions had turned from delight at seeing her to confusion. “What’s this all about, Julie?” Mark asked, reaching for her hand. “Noah said your father was doing good.”
“Julie wants us in the kitchen,” Noah said, walking ahead of them.
He hadn’t touched her, not even a hug. She longed for him to take her in his arms, but it was better that he was distant. Maybe in his own way he was making it easier for her. She followed Noah down the hall and into the kitchen. Mark and Keith followed. They each took a seat around the island in silence, waiting for her to begin.
“This isn’t easy for me,” she said, folding her hands in front her. “First thing I want to do is to tell you I’m sorry. My father was never sick. I just needed to get away for a couple weeks to get my head straight. I regret that I lied to you, but at the time, it seemed my only option to keep from having to explain myself.”
“Lying is never anyone’s only option,” Noah stated, his voice cold, his eyes even colder.
“I don’t understand,” Mark said.
“You’re not alone,” Keith said, leaning forward in his chair, his eyes staring into Julie’s.
“You see,” Julie started and then stopped. “It’s just that I’ve…”
“Spit it out, Julie. Do us the courtesy of at least having the courage to tell us the truth now.” She felt Noah’s anger.
“I needed time away from you because I needed to come to terms with our relationship and what I really want for my future. And…” She hesitated, the lie she was about to tell them choking her before she continued quickly, “I want a traditional life. I want one man in my life, not three.”
There, she had said it. She closed her eyes for a moment. There was silence. When she opened them, all three of them were still staring at her. Mark and Keith in disbelief, and Noah with what she could only term as contempt.
“You’re breaking up with us,” Mark said, shaking his head. “Why didn’t I see that coming?”
“Damn,” Keith said, pushing himself away from the bar. “I thought you enjoyed being with us. I mean, I thought this was what you wanted.”
“I do enjoy being with you. I’ve told you that,” she said, looking downward, not able to meet his eyes. “It’s just not enough for me anymore. Let’s face it, you all knew this would end. I guess you just thought that you’d be the ones to do it.” She continued to look down, not wanting them to see the heartbreak she knew had to be in her eyes.
“Tell me one thing,” Noah said, leaning toward Julie, taking her chin in his hand to force to look at him. “Does this have anything to do with my ex-wife?”
“No,” she lied again. “This is about what I want.”
“It’s just that one day you meet Deanna and not under the best of circumstances, and the next you leave town to go to your parents. The timing seems strange, don’t you think?”
Noah had not let go of her chin. Looking into his eyes, she wanted nothing more than to make the pain and anger she now saw there go away. Instead, she thought about Kelly. Strengthening her resolve, she said, “I can’t do this anymore. That’s all. It’s not the lifestyle I want. I know it’s asking a lot, but I hope we can be friends.”
“You have to be fucking kidding,” Noah said, removing his hand from her chin. “We’ll never be friends, not after the way we loved that body of yours and how close I thought we had become. Impossible.”
He had said it all. They loved her body, not her. She stood looking at them. Keith and Mark appeared to be in shock.
“I agree with Noah. There’s no way we can be friends, but we can still use your catering services at The Barn. I hope you’ll be considerate enough not to come there yourself. I can also transfer your membership to anyplace you want. Just tell me where.”
“I can’t imagine not being with you again,” Mark said, his voice hoarse. “I thought you cared for us.”
“I do. But, like I said before, it’s not enough for me. I need more and I need it to be with one man who wants to spend the rest of his life with me.”
“Are you sure Noah’s ex-wife doesn’t have anything to do with this?” Keith asked between gritted teeth.
“I told you she doesn’t. Obviously you don’t think I can make up my own mind. I know you think I’m submissive, but I do have the ability to make my own decisions without someone else telling me what to do.”
“Your submissive nature and our dominance in the bedroom has nothing to do with how any of us behave outside the bedroom,” Noah said, anger dripping from every word. “We may be strong men, but we never treated you with anything but respect inside and outside the bedroom. That’s just fucking insulting and nothing more than an excuse. I thought more of you than that, Julie.”
“Well, then stop questioning me.” If anger was what it took, then that was the way it had to be. She couldn’t continue lying to them. She had reached her limit.
She grabbed her purse from the counter. “I hope in time, you’ll be able to move on from this. I’m sure it won’t take you long to find my replacement.”
“Julie!” Mark practically shouted. “What the fuck are you talking about? You’re not making any sense. We don’t want a replacement! We want you.”
“None of it makes sense,” Noah growled. “But then again, according to Julie we’re not allowed to question her decision.”
Julie turned without another word and walked with as much dignity as she could muster out of their kitchen. She wanted to run but forced herself to walk. They let her go. She shut the front door behind her.
She drove home in a fog of despair. She had done what she set out to do even if, as they said, it didn’t make sense. “Of course it doesn’t make sense,” she cried out, her voice echoing in the car. How could it when she was being blackmailed to never see them again? If Deanna had been a fly on the wall, how she would have loved every minute of seeing Julie play the puppet to her demands.
The first thing she did when she walked into her apartment was head for the medicine cabinet and take two sleeping pills. She would never be able to sleep without them. When she finally climbed into bed, she closed her eyes and willed the darkness of sleep to put her out of her misery. It didn’t happen as quickly as she hoped, but at some point she thankfully lost consciousness until her alarm brought her back to the living.
Kelly and James were waiting for her at the store with a fresh pot of coffee. She poured herself a cup and sat down across from them.
“You look like hell,” Kelly said sympathetically.
“The coffee is helping already. I’ll be fine.” Julie knew Kelly still thought her father had been ill. She would tell her in time. But for right now, all she could handle was work.
“Let’s start going over the files.”
The rest of morning flew by as they discussed one client’s event after another. In between James showed her pictures of the baby. She was a cute little thing with big blue eyes and a thatch of black hair. James was every bit the proud father. Julie could sense he was anxious to return to his family.
“James, thanks so much for coming in today. I know you have somewhere else you’d rather be.”
“I’m just glad you were able to come back now. However, I want you to know I wouldn’t have left you two in the lurch. My wife understands the nature of the business.”
“That may be, but sometimes, like now, there are things more important than business.”
“Thank you, Julie. And you, too, Kelly,” he said, his usually serious mouth turning up in a grin. “You two are great to work for. I knew you would be.”
“Well, you’re an absolute godsend,” Kelly said, returning his smile.
After James left, Kelly turned to Julie, her expression grim. “Now tell me everything. And don’t give me that bullshit about your father being ill.”
“What?” Julie said, her stomach dropping.
“Did you think I wasn’t going to call my parents? They’ve known your parents since we were in college. They’re not super close, but my Dad and your father play golf together. In fact, the day you left, they had been to the club for a round and lunch. I didn’t say anything when you were gone, because I figured you had your reasons for lying.”
Julie lowered her head into her shaking hands. “I’m sorry I lied to you.”
“Tell me what’s going on,” she said more kindly. “Maybe I can help.”
“You can’t. No one can.”
“How do you know that unless you tell me?”
Julie wasn’t sure where to begin. Once the words started, she couldn’t stop them. Kelly listened, handing her a box of tissues.
When she got to the part about Deanna, Kelly cursed. “How dare that woman treat you like that and threaten you. You should have told me.”
“And what would you have done? Told me to allow her to destroy the business we’ve both worked so hard to make a success? And, Kelly, you started this business. I couldn’t let her do what she threatened.”
“We could have gone to Noah, and I’m sure Keith and Mark would have helped, too. There’s no way they would have let Deanna ruin our business or your relationship with them.”
Julie simply stared at Kelly. “You don’t seem surprised about the fact that I’m sleeping with three men. I thought you’d be at the least shocked and most probably disgusted by my behavior. It’s not the norm, even for San Francisco.”
“Julie, I’m not stupid. I knew something was going on and I had a feeling by the way your expression changed whenever any one of their names came up in conversation that they were more than just business associates. Even when you told me about wanting to meet someone, it just didn’t ring true. And besides that, you’re not the only one with secrets.”
“What do you mean?”
“I met James and his wife, Abby, a few years ago at an event-planners convention that was being held in Los Angeles. He and I hit it off right away and when he asked me to dinner with his wife, I found that I liked her straight away, too. The convention was only a few days, but they had made plans to stay on for another couple of weeks to see the sights. I invited them to visit me.”
Julie wasn’t sure exactly where the conversation was heading, but she had a feeling that Kelly was anxious to tell her. She smiled. “So you knew James before we hired him and you never said anything. I guess we both do have our secrets.”
“I knew I wanted him working with us, but my reasons were more complex than just needing a manager. I wanted to be sure you felt the same way without my influence.”
“Well, I did and I do. He’s fantastic.”
“I think so, too, and to be honest, I’m in love with him and”—she hesitated—“his wife.”
Julie took a few seconds to digest what Kelly had just told her. “Do you mean you’re together?”
“By the time they left San Francisco, we all knew we had a special connection. It was more than friendship. They showed me what it was like to be with a man and a woman, and it was everything I ever wanted. They’ve visited often, and I have visited them, too. Not so much since you arrived because we’ve been so busy and also because I knew they were preparing to relocate to be closer to me.”
“I’m happy for you. I really am. If only we had been more honest with one another.”
“I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how you would react. And there’s more,” Kelly said, her eyes filling up with tears.
“Please, tell me. This is no time to hold back,” Julie said, grabbing her friend’s hand. “I want to know everything.”
“I’m three months pregnant and I’ve never been happier.”
“Kelly,” Julie cried out, jumping to her feet. “This is the best news ever!”
“Yes,” Kelly said, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “I’ve never been happier in my life. However, for right now, we’re going to concentrate on how to make you happy, too.”
“We can’t fix my problems. Promise me you’re not even going to try. I can’t risk losing what I’ve sacrificed so much to keep. Promise me.”
“How can I be happy knowing what you’ve done? You can’t expect me not to want you to find the happiness I have.”
“Your happiness and this business is enough for me right now. In time, I’ll get over losing Noah, Mark, and Keith. Like I told you, they never said they loved me. Now promise me you won’t try and fix this. I’ve done what I needed to do. You have to trust me on this, it’s best for everyone.”