When she told them she wasn’t a relative, they didn’t expand on exactly what was wrong other than to say it was an emergency and Noah’s business card had been found in her pocket.
After she hung up, she had tried Noah’s office and his cell phone. When he didn’t answer, she tried to reach Keith and Mark. No one was answering his phone. She left them all urgent messages in hopes they would call her. When a half hour had passed without hearing from any one of them, she drove to Noah’s office. The guard at the front desk told her he had left a couple hours before she arrived. She knew it wasn’t unusual for him to turn his cell phone off during meetings.
As much as she never wanted to see Deanna again, she couldn’t in good conscience go back to the house and just wait. Although the policeman hadn’t been able to tell her why Deanna had been admitted to the emergency room, she could tell by the tone of his voice that it was serious. She turned her car toward Lincoln Highway and the medical center. When she arrived in Emergency, she asked the woman behind the desk about Deanna. She lied and said she was her sister. Within minutes a doctor came through the double doors.
“You’re Mrs. Jamison’s sister?”
Julie nodded and followed him back to a small office.
“Your sister suffered a drug overdose and”—he put his hand on hers—“she died a half hour ago. I’m so sorry. There was nothing we could do.”
All she could do was look at him in shock.
He left the room and when he returned he handed her a bottled water. “Is there someone I could call for you?”
“No,” Julie said, thinking of how Noah would feel. She knew he didn’t love Deanna, but she had once been a part of his life and regardless of what she had done, this had to be a shock. “Her ex-husband, Noah Jamison, is on his way.”
“I see. That’s good. You shouldn’t be alone. There are no words to express to you how sorry I am for your loss.”
“Thank you.”
“The toxicology results have not come back, but we’re pretty sure she had not only taken heroin but a mild sedative, too. Unfortunately, that can be a lethal combination, and for your sister, it was.”
“I can’t believe she was a drug addict.”
“You had no idea? Your sister has been here before. This isn’t the first time she’s overindulged in drugs and suffered more…” the doctor said, looking down at her chart, “complex type of injuries.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Your sister indulged in what some people might call sadistic sex. She took her fetishes to the limit of sanity. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this.”
“I’m not really her sister,” Julie blurted. “But I knew her, and she doesn’t have any family here other than Noah and I couldn’t find him.”
“You’re not even a relative?” An expletive escaped his lips.
She heard her phone ring. She pulled it from her jeans pocket. It was Noah.
“I’m on my way to the hospital now,” he said.
“Noah. Oh, Noah. I’m here at the hospital and Deanna’s gone. They think it was a heroin overdose.”
When he didn’t respond, she thought for a moment the line had gone dead.
“Noah?”
“I’ll be there soon.”
He had hung up. The doctor looked at her expectantly.
“That was her ex-husband. He’ll be here shortly.”
“Why don’t you wait for him in the waiting room. You really shouldn’t be back here.”
Julie nodded. “I’m sorry. I thought she would be alive and I didn’t know how serious it was. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. When Mr. Jamison arrives, tell him to ask for Dr. Stevens.”
Noah burst through the Emergency Room doors and walked to the front desk. Julie ran up to him and the nurse paged Dr. Stevens. Mark and Keith walked in
right
behind Noah. When Noah walked back into the waiting room after speaking with Dr. Stevens, he insisted Mark and Keith take her home. He said he would handle the paperwork.
Julie hugged him. “I’m truly sorry, Noah.”
He nodded and then Keith put his arm around her and guided her from out the front doors. “I didn’t like her, Keith, but I never wanted her to die, especially like this.”
“I know that, and so does Noah. He tried to get her help and even sent her to a couple of rehabs, but you can’t help someone if they don’t want to be helped. That was only one of her many problems. She lived on the edge, Julie.”
“He’s right,” Mark said. “She’s been living on borrowed time for a while now. I’m going to bring around the car.”
Keith just held her while they waited for Mark. When he pulled up, Keith helped her into the passenger seat, making sure her seat belt was in place. “Since Mark and I came together, I’m going to drive your car home.”
Julie handed him her car keys.
She saw very little of Noah over the next couple of days. He was busy making arrangements for Deanna’s funeral and she was sure he was avoiding her. She wanted to comfort him, but she could tell by the way he looked at her when they did happen to run into each other that he was in a place she wasn’t allowed to enter.
She asked Mark and Keith if she should attend the funeral, but they both said it would be better if she didn’t. It was going to be a small service and then Deanna’s ashes were going to be buried.
Keith said, “Her parents are dead. Unfortunately, she alienated whatever other family she had from years of unhealthy behavior.”
“She came from money,” Mark explained, “but at some point her family disinherited her. According to Noah, they want whatever her estate consists of to be donated to a drug and rehabilitation center, including any future sales from her books.”
“I had no idea she was ill. Drug abuse is a disease. And, like any disease, if you don’t get treatment, the odds are against your survival.”
“You’re right about that,” Keith said sadly.
“I just don’t understand how someone so talented and with so much to live for could have fallen so far and ended up dying alone.”
“We’ll never now,” Keith said. “The police told Noah they found Deanna’s body in a seedy hotel room. Someone had anonymously called 911.”
“He also said the Coroner’s Office has ruled it an accidental death,” Mark added. “At least Noah doesn’t have to live with her suicide.”
“He did what he had to do,” Keith said matter-of-factly. “I know it’s unkind to talk ill of the dead, but she was an evil woman. It wouldn’t have mattered what he did, she was bound to end up like this.”
Julie wondered what Noah had done, but this wasn’t the time to ask. Deanna was finally at peace. It was Noah she was worried about. It all made sense to her now—why he was so reluctant to forgive her. Deanna had deceived him, too.
Keith told her it might be best to give Noah some space. He said he would call her, but for now, Noah needed to be by himself. She missed them terribly, but this wasn’t about her. It was about Noah and his needs, and what he needed was time.
Julie had talked to Mark and Keith daily and had lunch with them whenever they had a chance. She couldn’t help that she wanted to be in their bed, but for now they had agreed to wait until Noah was in a better place. Selfishly she hoped it would be soon, but she feared that Noah wouldn’t want her back in his bed—that when he looked at her, all he would see was a woman who had lied to him like Deanna had. She prayed she was wrong.
A couple weeks since she had seen Noah,
she
was getting ready for bed when there was a knock on her door. She pulled on her robe and looked through the peep hole. It was Noah. Her heart leapt in her chest, but just as quickly she felt a cold dread seep into her bones.
She opened the door.
“Can I come in, Julie?”
“I’m so glad to see you.” She wanted to throw herself in his arms, but kept herself still as he walked past her.
“These last couple of weeks have been difficult to say the least. I’m sorry I couldn’t talk to you about it.”
“I know how hard it’s been for you. Keith and Mark and I have tried to give you the space and time you needed to grieve. I know I keep saying I’m sorry, but there really aren’t any other words to express how I feel.”
“Can we sit down?” he asked.
She led him to the sofa, and together they sat down next to each other. Noah took her hand in his. Julie looked down at his hand holding hers and wondered if this was it. Was he finally ready to tell her what she never wanted to hear?
“I’m sorry,” he began.
“Noah, it’s okay.” She couldn’t bear to see the pain in his eyes.
“No, it’s not okay. I should have never compared you to Deanna, but I did and it kept me from seeing you for who you really are. You’re nothing like her. She was a cold, manipulating woman who cared for no one but herself. I think she came back here to try and teach me a lesson for making her go back to New York against her will and for rejecting her.”
“Noah, you don’t have to explain.”
“But I do. You see, when I found out what she had done to you, I forced her to go back to New York. I made sure she wouldn’t ever bother you again. She hated me for that.”
“I don’t think she hated you, and she didn’t stay in New York. I don’t think she was that afraid of you,” Julie said softly.
“She came back to fake her suicide and it backfired on her. My card in the pocket of her slacks was premeditated. She had no purse, nothing, just my card. She wanted the police to call me. She wanted to make me feel guilty for making her leave and for wanting you.”
“If that’s true, that’s horrible.”
“She was a sociopath. I’m convinced of it. Her family believes it, too. She was never going to get better. But God knows I didn’t want her to die.”
“I know that. None of this was anyone’s fault but hers.”
“That’s what her brother told me.”
“Then believe him.”
“I do.”
“Would you like a drink?”
“No. I’ve drank enough to make my liver swim these past couple weeks.”
“I’m here for you, Noah. I always will be even if it’s just as a friend. I made a mistake. A terrible mistake. I wish so badly I could go back and make it all right. But I can’t.”
“Everyone makes mistakes, Julie. Some people keep repeating them. It wasn’t fair of me to think that you would. I can see that now. Can you forgive me?”
“Forgive you?” Julie wondered if she had heard him right. “I’m the one who needs forgiving.”
“I didn’t want to believe you had changed. I convinced myself that in time you would reject us again. I didn’t think you were strong enough to change. Deanna hadn’t been able to no matter how many times she made everyone believe that she could. I didn’t want to go through that again. I told myself I couldn’t go through it again.”
“I love you, Noah. I always will. You have to believe that,” she said softly, her hand lightly caressing his cheek. “You, Mark, and Keith are the loves of my life. I promise you that will never change.”
“I love you, Julie, with all my heart,” he choked out before his lips sought hers.
She melted into him, her body pressed against his. The kiss that started as sweet sadness turned quickly to a hunger that consumed them both. She moaned softly as he lifted her from the sofa and carried her into her bedroom. They undressed each other, their clothes flying off their bodies. When he entered her, she gasped. He lifted her body up so that her breasts pushed into his chest. He held her there as his cock loved her into oblivion. She put her hands on his shoulders, looking into eyes that devoured her with desire and his love.
His thrusts became faster and harder. She felt her body moving with his as he pushed her closer and closer over the edge of reasoning. Suddenly her world exploded with sparks of pleasure that ignited every nerve ending, lifting her into a swirling mass of heat that tore through her with rapid speed. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think about anything except how wonderful he made her feel as he filled her with his love.
Their coupling had been quick and explosive, but it had also been the first time Noah had given himself to her completely and without reservation. This was what she had been waiting for, hoping for, and now that he had given it to her, she knew everything was going to be okay.
“I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, Julie,” he said, his breathing ragged. “Mark and Keith were right to send me to you tonight.”
“They sent you?”
“Yes. They told me to get my act together and that for once in my life to let my feelings lead me and not fight my heart. They love you and they couldn’t bear to see what I was doing to you. They told me it was time to let go of the past. They said a few other things, too,” he said with a laugh, “but we’ll let that remain between them and me.”
“They really gave it to you then.” She giggled, hugging him to her.
“No, they gave me to you,” he said huskily. “They wanted us to work things out together. They felt it was the only way the four of us could be together again.”
“They’re smart men,” Julie said. “And you, Noah, are a smart man, too. It may have taken you a little longer to believe in me, but you do now, and that’s all that matters.”
Her father’s face suddenly flashed before her. She closed her eyes against the disapproval in his face. Their love was all that mattered, she told herself. Right?