Caught (19 page)

Bottom of the 6
th

Quinn

As I make my way back to my dorm, I think. I think about what my next move should be. I just need to figure out what I need to do, and execute it. It’s obvious that I want Chace. And it’s pretty obvious he wants me as well.

But then there’s Fin.

No matter what, one of us is caught in the middle of this mess. But only two of us are aware of it. Finley is off playing lawyer, completely oblivious to the torment I’m living on a daily basis. She has the boy and the rose-colored glasses. I envy her.

Not knowing what else to do, I decide to call my guru—Greg. As odd as it may seem, the boy does have some good knowledge just waiting to be put to use. It’s time for me to do so. Maybe he can offer some clarity being an outsider, but knowing Chace and I as well as he does.

Music and the sound of girls laughing erupt through the phone line as he answers. “How’s my girl doing?”

I smile at his words. He always has a way with them when it comes to me.

“Better now,” I admit.

The background noise becomes distant, and I can tell he’s separating himself from whatever he was doing just to talk to me in private.

“Talk to me, Q.”

I take a seat on the curb and sigh, unsure of where to even start.

“I know something’s going on between you and Chace. I don’t know the deets, but I’ve been friends with the two of you long enough to get the picture.”

“You’re right. And I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt anyone...well, Finley. But I don’t want to get hurt in the process, either. I’m stuck. I tell myself to run, run as far away as I can and that time will mend our friendship, but like a yo-yo, I keep coming back. It’s almost as if I enjoy the pain it’s inflicting. Sounds stupid.”

“Not at all. Love makes people do crazy things, Quinn. You might think it’s one-sided, but it’s not. You either need to fully back off, or go in full force. I would recommend the ladder.”

“You mean latter?” I ask, giggling.

“Yeah. You know what I mean. Smart ass,” he mumbles. I hear the girls in the background hollering for him to come back, and I know our conversation is coming to an end. “Go to him and lay it all out. Tell him how you feel. Tell him what you want. You won’t ever truly know where you stand until you put it all out there—even if you get hurt. I hope that helps you.”

“It does, Greg. Thank you.”

“Gotta go now, Q. Love ya.”

“Love ya too, G.”

I push end and remain seated, contemplating how to execute this newly developed, possibly genius plan that Greg induced.

For starters I need to text Chace.

Me: Where ya at?

I stare at my phone, waiting for the little dots to appear. Fifteen seconds later they appear…then disappear...then appear again.

Chace: My dorm. Why?

Me: I’m coming over.

I quickly make my way across campus. If I procrastinate, I might lose my courage. I can’t afford to change my mind, because if I do the
what-if
will eat me alive. Making my way up the steps that lead to his dorm building, I pass by a couple of his teammates.

“Sup, Quinn?” one says as I pass by. I just smile and continue to my destination. I jog up the two flights of stairs, and pause to catch my breath before knocking on his door. Once my breathing is back to normal, I give the door a couple taps and wait. I hear scrambling on the other side, and the door instantly opens. Chace stands, opening the door, and I can’t help but just stare at him. I really look at him—something I’ve been avoiding.

He looks so worn out. He looks emotionally and physically burnt out. Why am I just noticing this? Have I been so selfish to not even notice the effects not only this dance, game, thing or whatever it is we’ve been doing, but also baseball and just college life in itself has had on him?

I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to say what I’m feeling. Words don’t help. All words have done have add to the confusion. I want to show him. I want him to feel exactly what I’m feeling. I want to leave no question unanswered. I will settle all doubts with my body.

I walk into his room and let the door shut behind me. He keeps his eyes on me as I begin to close the distance between us. I can see him contemplating my intentions. I slowly rub my hands up and down his cotton covered chest as we stand mere inches apart. His chest rapidly moves up and down, and then completely stills as my hands push up under his shirt. I stand on the tips of my toes, moving my lips as close to his ear as possible, and whisper, “I need you.”

His hands are no longer cautious as they wrap around me, tightly gripping me to his body. His mouth finds mine in a hungry force I’ve never seen. His moans are borderline growls as he devours my mouth. This is an animalistic side I’ve yet to witness. It unravels something within me that I didn’t know existed, and I begin attacking him with the same force.

Without warning I hop up, wrapping my legs around his hips. His fingers dig into the underside of my thighs and I gasp and moan all in one. That only adds fuel to his fire. He walks us to his bed, firmly planting himself on top of me as he lays me down. My flowy skirt offers no barrier as his hand pushes its way up my inner thigh, pushing my panties to the side. My hand unbuttons his pants and slides underneath the elastic of his boxer briefs in search of his hardness.

Chace pushes his finger inside me and I moan into his mouth. He makes quick pumps in and out, and I do the same with his cock as I grip my hand around him, stroking up and down. I push his pants down just enough to fully free his cock. Once he is no longer restrained, I move his hand from between my legs and guide his dick to where I want him most—inside me.

He’s slow at pushing in, and I know he’s holding back. I grip my hands low on his hips and push up, forcing him deeper. He groans and stills himself to regain his composure. Right now I say fuck composure. I need him and I need this.

“Don’t hold back, Chacer.” He looks at me, and I rest my hand against his face as he begins thrusting faster. “Fuck me like you own me.”

His lips crash on mine and he grips my hips as he begins pounding into me. “I do own you,” he admits. And it’s a truth that we both know. I move my hips faster, rolling into him, meeting him thrust for thrust. He’s so deep. “And you own me,” he whispers before his breath becomes ragged and his moves become jerky as he’s finding his release—deep inside me. He collapses on top of me, and I revel in the feeling of him shaking with pleasure.

“Mmm,” he moans against my neck.

“Mmmhmm,” I breathe against his.

He slowly pulls out, then rolls over onto his back, holding his arm out for me to snuggle against him.

This is what dreams are made of. Or at least what mine have always been built around. Being wrapped up in Chace’s arms fills me with a contentment I’ve never known existed. When I'm this close, snuggled up against his chest and breathing him in, nothing else exists. The world is no longer filled with billions of people – it only consists of the two of us.

I throw my leg over his and let the tips of my fingers trail back and forth across his chest. I avoid the ticklish spot on his side because I’m fully enjoying this half slumber we’re falling into. I hear Chace let out a light snore and I giggle.

With him sleeping, I feel it’s safe to let out the words I’ve wanted to say for years--what feels like an eternity.

“I love you, Chace William Donahue.”

His body stirs beneath me as he stretches and lets out a yawn, replying as he does. “I love you too, Q.” He ruffles my hair, alerting me that this isn’t heading where I had hoped. “You’re my best friend. I can’t imagine my life without you.”

I feel sick. His words literally make me sick. I pull myself away from him. Thank God I’m still fully clothed. I don’t have to awkwardly get dressed before running out.

“Where ya going?” He props himself up, watching as I grab my boots and slide them on.

“Are you that fucking clueless, Chace? Seriously? I just fucking told you that I love you and you pull the fucking best friend card.”

“I do love you, Quinn.” He moves to the edge of the bed.

“Yeah, like a bff. I gotcha loud and clear.” I scan the floor to see where I dropped my phone.

“I can’t explain it. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Too late.” I bend over, snatching my phone up.

“I love Fin too. I don’t want to hurt her either. I love you both.”

“I get that. You love us both. You love us differently. You love me like a kid sister, and you’re in love with her. Ten-four, rubber ducky. I’m done, Chace. I’ve put it all out on the line. I took the plunge, and got hurt. I’m D-O-N-E. So fuck you. Go fuck yourself. Or how ‘bout your perfect girlfriend.”

“That’s not fair!” he yells as I walk for the door.

“Life’s not fucking fair, Chacer.” I slam the door, leaving a yelling Chace behind me.

Top of the 7
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Chace

I toss and turn for hours, but I manage to somehow fall asleep.  Or it seems like I’m asleep as I listen to the shrill ringing of my cell.  I roll over with a groan and grab it before my roommate makes some smart ass comment about me forgetting to silence it again.  Looking at the screen, I see that it’s almost two in the morning and my mom is calling me.  A lump immediately forms deep in my throat.  It can’t be good news.  No one ever calls with good news at two o’clock in the morning.

My thumb presses the green button with hesitation and I clear my throat before speaking.  “Mom?” I whisper.  “Is everything okay?”

For a split second I’m hopeful that she’s just calling because she misses me, but then I hear a sniffle on the other end.  “No, Chace,” her voice breaks.  “It’s not.”

My heart thunders in my chest and I bolt upright in bed. “Mom, you’re scaring me…”  Please don’t let it be Quinn. I never got to tell her the truth. 

“It’s Greg, Chace.”

“Greg?”

“Yeah, baby.  Greg’s dead.”

The air leaves my lungs creating a whoosh loud enough that my roommate sits up and turns on his lamp.  I make eye contact with him, hoping that he’ll forgo the verbal lashing for waking him up.  With just one look he knows better, and he gives me a look of pity in return.  “How?” Is the only thing I can manage to say.

My mom pauses and takes a deep breath, causing herself to hitch and stammer before telling me what she knows.  “From what they can tell, he was drunk and showing off for a bunch of girls by attempting to do backflips on a sidewalk.”

I shake my head.  It sounds like something Greg would do.  I listen intently as my Mom continues the story.

“His hand slipped and he fell…” A sob comes through the line, and I choke back the tears that are threatening to come out.  Hearing my mom break down is the hardest thing imaginable.  “His head hit straight on against the concrete.  His friends say he was gone instantly.”

“My God…”  A tear escapes from my eye and slowly moves down my cheek before I swipe it away.

“Honey, no one can reach Quinn.  Her parents have been trying, but she’s not answering.  Can you try giving her a call?”

I nod without thinking.

“Chace?”  My mom’s voice snaps me out of my haze.  “Can you do that?  Can you call Quinn?”

“Of course I can.”

“Honey, I’ll talk to you in the morning once I know the details.”

“Okay, mom.”

“I love you, sweetie.”

“Love you too.”

I hang up and toss my head in my hands.  One of my best friends is gone.  I’ll never get to hear his smart mouth or his inappropriate comments again.  He will never get to troll the internet for hotties or offend a group of girls again.  More silent tears spill from my eyes.

“You alright, man?” 

I look over at the roommate that I haven’t spoken more than a few words to and shake my head.  “No, I’m not.”

Panic stricken and needing my friend back, I pick up my phone and dial her number.  It rings a few times before voicemail picks up.  Her chipper voice greets me before I hang up and immediately call back.  This time it doesn’t ring at all and goes straight to voicemail instead. 

Knowing that she’s ignoring me, I grab my jacket and slip my feet into my shoes and venture out into the chilly air of Boston.  I jam my hands into my pockets as I walk, cursing how fucked up I have allowed things to become.  I’ve been so wrapped up in myself and the drama that I had created that I lost sight of what was important.  I begin to choke on all the emotions I have been pushing back for months.  Right now none of it matters anymore.  Because in this moment, I know.  I need to be with her.  As much as I think Quinn needs me, I need her even more. 

I guess that’s what death does to you.  It makes you stop and see things clearly.  Things that you were missing, or perhaps didn’t even want to see.  Entering her dorm, I wipe at my face, not wanting anyone to see that I’ve allowed my emotions to take such control of me.  As I navigate the hallway, I question everything that’s happened over the past year.  Things have become so tangled, and this is only adding fuel to the fire.  I stop at her door and knock lightly.  I wait for what seems like hours before deciding to knock again.  This time, I rap my knuckles against the wood with a little more force and I hear a groan on the other side.  I hear the chain unlatch before it opens a crack.  Standing on the other side is Quinn’s badass roommate, and she looks less than amused.  “Quinn’s sleeping.  Come back in the morning.”  She immediately goes to slam the door in my face, but I manage to stick my foot in between the jam.

“It’s an emergency.”

“Go the hell away, Chace!”  I hear the anger and annoyance in her voice, but what hurts the most is the hint of sadness that I detect.

“Quinn, just come to the goddamn door.”  She infuriates me like no other. She makes me crazy even though my heart is wrecked with remorse at the moment.  I let out a defeated sigh and call out to her one final time.  “This has nothing to do with us, and we’re going to need each other right now.”

I hear noises coming from the other side of the room, and the door swings completely open.  With her arms crossed against her chest she peers at me.  Her hair is a wreck, piled high on the top of her head, and she looks less than amused that I’m there.

Looking at her with her eyes still heavy with sleep, everything becomes clear, and the answers I’ve so desperately been searching for is standing right in front of me.  Without an ounce of doubt I know that she is it for me, and it kills me that it’s going to have to wait.  Because I came here for something else.

“What is it, Chace?”

I swallow the lump in my throat.  “It’s Greg.  He died tonight, Q.”