I love my new roomie.
It’s not normal that a seventy-two-year-old woman is the best roommate I’ve ever had. Maybe there’s something wrong with me. We are soul sisters from another era, but it’s more than that. I’ve only been with her two weeks, but it feels as if I’ve always lived here. This place is so much more like home than anywhere else, which is plain weird.
I don’t know why but I work better here, and I sleep better, too. During the days I work at the library or a local café but my evenings are filled with laughter and coffee—so much fucking coffee—and hours in the yard.
Ash stops by on the days he has off, even if I’m working. It’s funny because every day he shows up makes me realize how much free time a firefighter has. Ya know, when they aren’t a cheating manwhore liar.
Today I’m missing Kiki, though. The house is too quiet without her. She went away this weekend with her friends from the senior center to visit some art exhibit in Washington, DC and instead of doing something productive I’ve been lying on the living room floor listing all the ways I’m extremely lame.
For one, I’m bummed it’s only Friday. What will I do without Kiki when she won’t be back until Sunday afternoon?
Two, I should call Alicia but for some reason I don’t and that makes me wonder if I’m still holding back on the forgiveness thing. Or maybe it’s easier when it’s the three of us hanging out and I’m nervous to test out one-on-one time with her.
Which brings me to three. Jill is fucking Cam, no doubt, and that makes me wish I was getting some. Not that it would be any good. Because once you’ve had the high priced deli meat, the processed packaged bologna never tastes the same.
Fucking great. Now I want a sandwich.
The scrape and slide of a key at the front door should jolt me from my place on the floor but I don’t move. Just let my cheek fall to the right so I can observe the intruder. The door creeks open and Ash steps into the living room. He reaches to flip on the light even though it’s only dusk but I don’t want to be blinded.
“No! Don’t!” I shout before his fingers touch the switch.
“Jesus, Callie!” he swears under his breath and locks the door behind him.
“So, she gave you a key, did she?” I ask from the floor.
Ash comes to stand over me. “She did. Also strict orders to check on you, and thank God she did, what with you turning to carpet and shit.”
“I prefer the term accent rug.”
“What are you doing on the floor?”
“Wallowing in my own pity party. Care to join me?”
“I guess. But this is weird.” He tosses his keys and hat on the couch then lays beside me. Our heads are a foot apart and he partakes in my fan blade watching. The silence is comfortable. Safe.
“He’s ruined everything good in my life. You know?” I admit out loud.
“I assume the
him
is Chase, and I’d actually beg to differ. But I’ll bite. What has he ruined for you?”
“Pancakes, for one. I used to love those motherfuckers until Chase came along.”
Ash’s laugh comes from deep in his throat. “I think you’ll survive a life without pancakes. You could become a waffle girl instead.”
“God! What do you take me for? I could never do that!”
We both chuckle and then the sadness washes over me anew.
“And chocolate,” I whisper.
“Now, that’s not funny,” Ash concedes in a solemn tone.
“I know.” I gulp. “And he ruined something else. Something infinitely better than chocolate. It’s going to sound really selfish and stupid, I’m sure, but since you can’t judge me, I’ll tell you—I mean you have a girl’s name, for Christ’s sake. Who are you to judge?”
“Just tell me, Callie,” he prompts with a smile in his voice.
I don’t look at him, though. I merely continue to study the ceiling. “I think he ruined sex for me.” The fan whips around ten more times.
“Why? Because he was horrible at fucking?” I detect a shred of hope in his voice.
God, if only.
“No. He was phenomenal,” I admit with a pout.
“Oh.” Ash considers the ceiling along with me. The fan blades circle around and around and if I focus on one I can almost follow it three times before it gets lost in the others. “At least tell me he had a tiny dick?”
An unattractive laugh, more accurately a cackle, leaves my mouth and causes Ash to grin. “No. Not that either.”
“Damn it.” He shakes his head in mock anger.
We lay like that, side by side, watching the fan go around. The room grows darker as the sunset fades between the cracks of the window shades. It’s funny how I hated Ash when I met him, but he’s quickly become one of my closest friends. He’s here for me, all the time, and yet I don’t know much about his life before he moved to Richmond. I open my mouth to ask a question but he speaks first.
“Well, I have a simple solution to your problem.” His teasing tone is back and he turns his chin to meet my gaze. His eyes catch the remaining daylight and appear almost emerald, tinged with what could almost be categorized as mischief.
“What’s your big idea?”
“Never mind. It’s stupid.” He glances away.
“Ha! Now you have to tell me.”
“No way, you’ll never let me live it down.”
“Come on, just tell me.”
“I could prove to you Chase didn’t ruin everything good,” he says with all the confidence in the world. I want to believe in him but life isn’t that easy.
“You gonna stuff me full of chocolate and pancakes? No, thank you.”
“No.” His voice goes low and deep. The yellow hue in his eyes overtakes the green to create a deep shade of whisky. “I’ll fuck you so hard and so good that you’ll forget how to say his name.”
Holy fuck!
Ash has never spoken to me this way before. My entire body pulses with the need to crawl on top of him while he makes good on his offer. His eyes don’t leave my face and that’s when it hits me that he must be messing with me. I burst into laughter and Ash’s brow forms deep scowl lines across his forehead.
“You’re fucking funny, Ashley,” I go to punch him in the shoulder. He catches my fist in his hand and rolls to his side to look down on me.
“What? You don’t believe I can do it?”
“You can’t be serious.”
Oh shit.
He is serious. Dead serious, and somehow I managed to deflate his ego. I don’t know why that provides me with a slight satisfaction. Probably because I’m tired of being everyone’s punching bag. It feels good to hold the power. But Ash is a friend and I don’t want to hurt him. “Look, Ash. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed. I’m sure you’re a very capable fucker of women but my mind is still caught up in Chase. I’m still trying to get over what he did. Plus, he was like insanely good at sex. Like ridiculous. He was even an expert at kissing. I—”
I hardly see it coming. One moment Ash is at my side, frowning at my rant, and the next he braces himself over my body. Claims my lips with his own while his left hand weaves under my back and up to the nape of my neck. He grabs my hair, tugs, and sends a flood of heat between my legs. I gasp and his tongue takes advantage with a sweep inside my mouth. His lips are soft but firm, moving with practice and purpose. He tastes like lingering mouthwash, clean and crisp.
“Ash,” I moan.
“Yeah, say my name.” His lips crush mine and his hand leaves my hair to skim along my side. I wish I could feel his hands all over my skin, and my entire body sings in anticipation of how far he’ll take this. I know it’s probably a horrible idea. He’s become a friend, but his body—mouth, lips, taste and touch—feels amazing.
“Ash,” I say again but this time with purpose. “Ash, we should stop.”
His lips trail down my neck to my clavicle and his hands go to my sides to hold himself over me. “Why?” He lifts his head to meet my stare but his lips move to the valley between my breasts. My sex tightens and I’m already wet.
“I think it’ll ruin our friendship,” I answer half-heartedly and my fingers find their way to his ears. I don’t know why, but all of a sudden with him trailing kisses along the neckline of my shirt I feel the insane need to grip his ears and guide his head lower to where I’m a pulsing bundle of need and wetness.
He meets my gaze and shakes his head. “No. Only make it that much better. Let me do this for you, Callie.” At that he rolls us so I’m on top of him and lifts my shirt up and over my head in one fluid swoop. “Fuck, you’re beautiful, you know that?”
My body warms as his gaze travels over every inch of my skin. His fingertips skim up my sides and move toward my breasts. Shit. I just realized I’m wearing a boring white cotton bra and reach to cover myself.
“Don’t you dare cover these tits.” He molds his hands to them and gives a little squeeze. “You’re fucking gorgeous. And I love your hair. All wild and sexy as fuck. Let me make you feel good, Callie. We’ll still be friends, I swear it. I don’t want to give that up, either.”
I can feel his hardness between my legs and my sex begs to let him inside. My skin is warm and aware of his gaze, one so sincere that I believe him. I nod my head and he rolls his hips while pinching at my nipples from where they push against the fabric.
“Say it, Callie. I need you to say it.” He lifts his hips and my body starts to rock in time with his, wanting, needing to match his rhythm.
“Fuck me, Ash.”
“Good girl,” he growls and claims my lips again. His right hand reaches inside my mess of hair to pull me to him.
Good or not, I want this. I want him. His lips and the way his unshaved cheeks scrape against my skin excites every nerve of my body. His left hand smooths along my spine and two fingers slide under my bra.
I gasp. He’s unclasped it already. “Damn Ash, you are a ninja.”
He uses both hands to slide the straps down my arms. His eyes follow the action and he groans when my breasts are finally free. “If I’m a ninja, you’re a fucking goddess.” He pushes up on one elbow and uses the other hand to squeeze one breast while his lips lock around and suck my nipple. Hard. Oh, fuck, that feels good. I rock my hips over the erection that pushes against his jeans.
“I’m sure you say that to all the girls.” Just as the words leave my mouth Ash rolls us so he’s once again over me.
“No. None of that. There are no other girls.” He’s so bossy that I have to nod. “Just you. Got that? Say it, Callie.”
“Yes, Ash. I’ve got you,” I whisper and he rewards me with a rock of his hips.
His lips pull into a wide smile and he grinds against me once more before he drops his lips to mine and kisses me better than I’ve ever been kissed before.
Gasps, moans, and groans fill the now inky dark room. My eyes flutter open as Ash moves from my lips to my neck, to my breasts, and then lower to where I ache for him.
His fingers dip inside my yoga pants and my eyes snap open. Oh shit! Shit, shit, shit!
“Wait! No! You can’t—” My fingers leave Ash’s ears—damn it, I didn’t even realize I was holding those—and grab my waistband to keep my pants in place.
“What—?” Ash leans back on his heels. His chest rises and falls beneath his shirt and I really want to peel it off. But—
“Callie, I can’t what?”
My hands leave my waistband to cover my face.
Damn it
. Thankfully, it’s dark in here, but I still can’t chance it. He can never see the underwear I’m currently wearing. Fuck. I wasn’t planning on getting naked with
anyone
when I got dressed today, let alone Ash. I should’ve thrown this pair out months ago. Maybe years.
If I’m remembering correctly, and I’m sure I am, these are the pale pink ones, covered in little bunnies. Which used to be cute but now they’re stained from two periods ago, a spot really, that I couldn’t get out and was too cheap to throw away reasoning no one would ever see them on my person.
I open my fingers so I can watch his reaction.
“I don’t want you to see—” God, why is it so hard to admit?
“What?” Ash says with complete patience.
“My panties. They’re awful.” There. I said it.
“Oh, I’m certain I need to see them now.” Ash chuckles and skims his fingers down my inner thighs toward my center. I clamp my legs together and scoot away. It’s dark in the room; the only light sneaks in off the front porch from between the blinds. It’s dim enough that I think I have a fighting chance.
“Only if you can catch me!” I scramble off the ground and race through the living room. Ash jumps off the ground way too quickly and blocks my entry to the kitchen. Damn the recliner that hinders my quick escape! I move to go left, feint right, and he follows my movement. Fuck! He’s too fast for me.
I glance down at the ground, let fear and horror wash over my face and scream “Oh, my God! Ash! It’s Silas!”
My ruse confuses him enough that I make it to the kitchen. I almost laugh as Silas glares up at me from the window sill. I swing open the door to the basement.
Ash’s laughter follows me, but he doesn’t know Kiki’s furniture placement as well as I do. “Fuck! Mother fucker!” He swears at the bump of wood on wood. I’m sure he caught his foot or body on one of the kitchen chairs.
I tear down the stairs, laughing at how ridiculous I must look running shirtless in a race to get to the bathroom. If I can lock the door, I’ll take off these undies and hide them. Then I’ll discard them so they never see the light of day!
Fingers on the handle, I glance over my shoulder.
“Gotcha!” Ash grabs my waist and his fingers dig into my most ticklish spots.
“No!” I scream through my laughter. He’s gracious and doesn’t torture me too long. He picks me off the ground and I try to get him back. I try everywhere—armpits, sides, and belly—but I don’t think this man is ticklish. Maybe on his feet, but I don’t get the opportunity to find out as he drops me onto my bed.
His smile is wide and his stare heated as he peels off his shirt and tosses it to the ground. He toes off his shoes but leaves the pants, then crawls over my body to claim my lips once again.
We kiss until I’m breathless. My fingers explore. I run them over his chest, arms, and back, but ultimately they find their way back to his earlobes and tug.
He releases my lips and leans back on his heels. His hands yank my pants down past my hips before I realize it.
Oh, God! No!