Forever the Fat Kid: How I Survived Dysfunction, Depression and Life in the Theater
Read Forever the Fat Kid: How I Survived Dysfunction, Depression and Life in the Theater Online
Authors: Michael Boyd
“
Forever the Fat Kid
is the quintessential minimalistic memoir. With Mr. Boyd, less truly is more. The reader will laugh, cry and sigh over the life lessons the author shares - life lessons of which everyone can relate. However, it’s Boyd’s pure flair, exotic élan and joi de vivre that holds the reader captivated. Family members and friends come to life as vividly as the characters in his Broadway plays; dialogue is as exquisitely choreographed as his musicals; and the plot rivals that of any riveting bestseller at the top of the New York Times list.”
- Rawsistaz Literary Group
“Boyd’s memoir is set against the volatile backdrop of an America on the brink of acceptance, when civil rights for blacks and gays were being forced into the forefront of our collective consciousness. Being on the cusp of change, it transcends your average ‘coming of age’ tale and addresses every struggle in his life.”
- Rainbow Reviews
“I felt as though I was reading pages of my own journal as a child, adolescent and adult. I encourage everyone to read this book. It discusses real issues in a very honest way!”
- Out In Jersey Magazine
“With themes of love, loss and the insatiable hunger for fame, the read is as dense as Mom’s chocolate fudge and, as any fat kid can attest, just as difficult to put down.”
- Instinct Magazine
FOREVER THE FAT KID
How I Survived Dysfunction, Depression And Life in the Theater
by Michael Boyd
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© Copyright 2007, 2010 Michael Boyd.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.Printed in the United States of America.
ISBN: 978-1-4269-4240-2 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4269-4241-9 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-4269-4242-6 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2010914490
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Fatty, fatty, two by four
Can’t fit through the schoolhouse door…
The first time that I heard this childhood taunt it was 1969, I was in the seventh grade. Thinking that it was someone else being teased by one of my mean-spirited classmates, I ignored it. A moment later, I heard it again.
Fatty, fatty, two by four
Can’t fit through the schoolhouse door…
Surely this obnoxious, hurtful rhyme wasn’t being directed at me. I was a nice kid and well liked, I got along with everyone and minded my own business. Maybe I was a little overweight, but I wasn’t that fat.
Fatty, fatty, two by four…
Finally, I turned to see who it was that insisted on repeating this ugly ditty, making immediate eye contact with a kid who, although I’d seen him around school, I didn’t know by name.
“Yeah, I’m talking to you!” he shouted directly at me. I turned away and rushed on to my sixth period Social Studies class. His words were all I thought about for the rest of that day. Now, over thirty years later, I still think about them–and the pain they caused.
For Valincia
You are my favorite girlie-girl in the whole wide world!
INTRODUCTION
I wasn’t always fat. In fact, until I was seven or eight years old, I was pretty scrawny. However, once I started gaining weight, I felt helpless to stop it. As I grew larger, so did the list of names that my mean-spirited peers found to call me. Apparently, the teasing I endured wasn’t enough to stop me from packing on the pounds. It wasn’t until I was sixteen, weighing in at about 240 pounds, that I finally made a vow to lose weight. It was 1973, the year before I graduated from high school, and I wasn’t about to be cheated out of my last chance to take part in an integral part of adolescence; the senior prom. And damned if I was going to show up with one of my cousins as my date as my older half-brother Robert predicted. I made a promise to myself that, no matter what it took, I was going to become a normal-sized person.
Much to the chagrin of my mother who couldn’t understand why I would no longer eat the greasy, fattening foods that she always prepared, I put myself on a strict diet. I stuck to it and my determination soon began to pay off. I wasn’t losing drastic amounts of weight a week or anything, but slowly my clothes began to get baggy, eventually becoming too big to wear at all. The round ball that had once been my face started to acquire angles and definition. As my various chins began to disappear, a jaw line revealed itself. Nine months later, I found myself over 60 pounds lighter, down to a svelte 178 pounds.
Nobody could believe what I had managed to do. Because I had watched my physical transformation happen slowly, it didn’t seem so drastic to me, but people who hadn’t seen me during the transition–like my out-of-state relatives–were in complete shock. What was dramatic was the way that people began to treat me. I found myself experiencing something that had managed to elude me for all of my adolescence: popularity. Who knew that losing a little flab could make a person noticeable? When I began hearing from my peers how this girl or that girl thought that I was “cute,” I knew that I had finally arrived. Needless to say, I had my prom date the next year. And she wasn’t related to me.
Sherri was an attractive girl from the neighboring town of Roselle. We met while performing together in a teenage community theater group. Apparently, she found more than just my stage presence attractive. After several dates, our families and friends began commenting on what a great-looking couple we made. More than once, it was even hinted at that there could be wedding bells in our future. And to be honest, if things had been different, there very well might have been. Oh well…
Although I lost the weight physically, it was years before I lost the weight mentally. Most people who have been very heavy, especially during their formative years, will tell you that no matter how much weight you lose, you always see yourself as fat. Anorexia nervosa isn’t an alien or odd concept to me. I well understand the mentality of those who suffer from that horrible condition. However, being fat had one positive effect on my life. Early on, I acquired what I call
The S Factor
–the ability to recognize
sincerity
in people. When you constantly find yourself the butt of someone’s joke, you become proficient at recognizing the true motivations of others. You develop a sixth sense that looks past the words and recognizes a mean streak or dishonesty in a person. Conversely, my ability to pick up on genuine behavior has been one of the saving graces of my life. It’s given me the courage to welcome people into my life that most wouldn’t, and I have been greatly rewarded by doing so. When you learn to recognize
The S Factor
in people at an early age, you’re less susceptible to being taken advantage of later in life. This is not to say that people with less than admirable intentions won’t ever fool you. However, it’s far less likely to happen and, when it does, it’s usually because, in a twisted way, you let it happen. You want or desire a person’s friendship, companionship, or love so much that you willingly put on blinders to their true objective.
Unless you’ve been fat, it’s hard to recognize the perks of being thin. I was finally able to buy “off the rack” in department stores; I became active in a number of sports; I dated attractive and desirable individuals; and I found an overall happiness and satisfaction with life that I hadn’t thought possible. Later, when I found myself doing runway fashion shows and appearing in magazine print ads, I knew that I had managed to overcome a major obstacle in my life. I had successfully, and permanently, changed the outside appearance that had made me so miserable growing up. However, the fact remained that at my core, I was still, and probably always would be, forever the fat kid.