Authors: Elizabeth McKenna
*******
Cera woke to yelling. Bolting upright, she grabbed her Derringer from the nightstand. She looked around in confusion. No one else was in the room.
Was I dreaming?
Beside her, Jake let out a low moan. When she laid a hand on his chest to wake him, he lashed out, knocking her off the bed. Her gun skittered across the room, as she landed on the floor with a thud. Dazed from the blow, she sat for a moment until a tapping sounded on the bedroom door.
“Cera?” Ginger’s voice came from the hallway. “Is everything all right?”
Rubbing her cheek, she picked herself up from the floor and opened the bedroom door. Ginger gasped when she saw the red welt forming on her face. Holding a finger to her lips, Cera shushed her and pointed to the still sleeping Jake. She motioned to the open door, and the two women retreated into the hallway.
“For goodness sakes, what happened?” Ginger asked, examining her for other signs of injuries.
She dismissed her friend’s concern with a shake of her head. “I’m fine. Stop your fussing. I’ve been backhanded more times than I care to recall. Jake was having a nightmare and I stupidly tried to wake him.”
“Oh, the poor thing. Should we try again?”
Cera nodded. “Sure, I can take another blow if I have to.”
Before they could re-enter the room, Jake yanked open the door, stopping abruptly when he saw them. “You were gone and your gun wasn’t.” He nodded toward the corner of the room. “Knowing your fondness for carrying it everywhere, I was worried something had happened to you.”
“Just chatting.” Turning to Ginger, she said, “Give us a few minutes to freshen up and we’ll join you on the veranda.”
Her friend gave her a smile that seemed to say good luck, and then hurried down the hall toward the front of the house.
When Cera turned back around, Jake’s eyes widen. “What happened to your face?”
“Calm down. It will be gone by tomorrow.” Moving to the washbasin and mirror on the dresser, she took down her hair, brushed it, and wound it up again.
“But what happened? You didn’t have that mark before we went to sleep.”
Cera sighed. “All right, I’ll tell you, but honestly, it doesn’t hurt. You were having a nightmare and I tried to wake you. You knocked me on my bum instead. That’s it. End of story.”
Jake’s face darkened before he smoothed it into a mask. “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. It won’t happen again.” He got up and moved toward the door.
Confused by his words and terrified by the coolness in his voice, she jumped in front of the door before he could reach the knob. “What do you mean by that? You aren’t responsible for what you do while you’re asleep, so how could you possibly say it will never happen again? Unless you plan never to be in the same bed as me…is that what’s going through that mind of yours? Are you cutting me loose, Jake?”
“Isaac was right. I’m damaged and you deserve better. I don’t know why I thought I could have a normal life, but I won’t take the chance of hurting you again.”
“Hurt me again? What do you think you’re doing right now?” she demanded. “I don’t care what Isaac says—or anyone else for that matter. I don’t care if you’re damaged. I want you, Jake. I want you right here by my side. I love you. Do you hear me? I love you!” She grabbed the front of his shirt and shook him.
The shock of her words reflected in his eyes, but instead of rejoicing at her declaration, he removed her hands from his chest. “I’d like to part friends, but if that’s too much to ask, then we’ll just part. I’ll leave in the morning. I’m sorry. It’s too late to start out today.”
In stunned disbelief, Cera stepped away from the door and let him go. Clutching her sides, she rushed out to the patio and emptied the meager contents of her stomach into the nearest bush.
When the wave of nausea passed, she wiped her mouth and stumbled back inside. Standing in the middle of the room, she didn’t know what to do next. Spying her Derringer, she picked it up from the floor. Holding it carefully in one hand, her fingers slowly traced the curves of the handle and the trigger. The thought flickered through her mind, but she dismissed it, putting the gun in her skirt pocket instead. She had never quit at anything in her life, and she wasn’t going to start now. If Jake didn’t want her, well, fine. She would get over him. He was just a man, anyway. She never needed one before and she surely didn’t need one now. Smoothing out the wrinkles in her skirt, she left the room to join the others.
Chapter 13
The pain in Jake’s head pulsed as if his skull was a rock being hit by a sledgehammer. He knew he couldn’t face another black headache without something solid in his stomach. Avoiding the others, he took the back way to the kitchen and asked the cook for some food. Then, he headed to the horse barn.
As soon as he entered it, the smells of the hay mixed with animals and leather soothed his pounding head. He found Oneida’s stall and slipped in beside her. The horse snorted hello and immediately nuzzled the food he held.
“Hold on there, girl. I’m willing to bet you’ve had more to eat today than me. You’ll get your share—only let me get mine first.”
When the food was gone, he rested his head against the mustang’s neck. “What have I done, girl? It was for the best, wasn’t it? I couldn’t risk hurting her…and how could I be sure I wouldn’t do it again? Maybe next time I do more than just hit her. Damn, my head...”
Overcome with pain, he slid to the floor of the stall. Oneida whinnied her disapproval, stomping nervously, but Jake didn’t hear. He was already back in Indian Territory with his men fighting the rebels.
*******
With a straight back, Cera joined the others on the side veranda, taking an empty seat at the end of a long, rustic table decorated with garden flowers. Madame Tessa’s cook had laid out a scrumptious-looking feast for the guests, but the smell of chicken, beef, vegetables, and bread turned Cera’s stomach. Unable to eat, she sipped water and studied the countryside. Isaac had been right about more than one thing. His friend owned a beautiful piece of land.
Lost in thought, she didn’t hear Tessa’s question until Sonya tapped her on the arm. “I’m so sorry, Madame. Your winery has me mesmerized. What were you saying?”
“It is beautiful, isn’t it? I consider myself very fortunate to live here, but I asked where your companion is—Mr. Tanner?” Tessa replied with a look of concern. “I would hate for him to miss out on Cook’s fine lunch.”
Unsure of what to say, Cera’s hand tightened around her water glass as everyone turned to hear her answer. “He…He was going to change before he joined us…Perhaps he’s still tired from our journey and decided to rest some more…”
Tessa inclined her head to the side, but then nodded and turned back to Isaac. Cera caught the unspoken worry on Ginger’s face, but chose to ignore it. She went back to staring at the gardens and her own confused thoughts. When she felt she could excuse herself without being rude, she stood up. “With your permission, Madame Tessa, I would love to walk your gardens a bit. The carriage ride here has left me stiff.”
“Please do. You are free to go wherever you like,” Tessa invited with a wave of her hand. “Supper will be at eight o’clock. Perhaps a walk will increase your appetite?”
Tessa gave her such a perceptive look that she felt as guilty as a child caught lying. With lowered eyes, Cera nodded to the rest of her friends and walked toward the nearest path.
She sighed when she heard the click of heels behind her. Rubbing at the ache in her temples, she turned and shook her head at Ginger. “No. Please. Not now.” She continued down the garden path, hoping her friend would go away.
“Honey, you can’t shoo me away like I’m a pesky fly! Something’s wrong and you’re going to tell me. Did you and Jake have a spat?” Ginger hooked arms with Cera, pulling backwards to slow her down.
“A spat? I don’t know,” she replied crossly. “I don’t know what we ‘had’.”
“But something’s wrong, right?”
Cera shrugged. “The only thing wrong is I was stupid—again, but I’ve learned my lesson now. A lesson I won’t forget.”
“Stupid?” Ginger’s brow furrowed. “What happened? Cera, tell me. Maybe I can help.”
“There’s nothing you can do. Jake’s leaving in the morning.”
“He’s what? Leaving?” Ginger stopped, her face reflecting her disbelief. “Why? But we need him and he loves you. Where’s he going?”
“I don’t know, far away from me, I guess.” She kicked at a stone in the path.
Seeing a bench up ahead, Ginger steered them to it and pushed her down. “I still don’t understand. What happened after I left your room?”
“When I told him that he was the one who hit me, he said he wouldn’t take the chance of hurting me again, so he was leaving.” She bit her lip to keep the tears from coming.
Reaching out, Ginger rubbed her back. “Did he say anything else?”
“He said Isaac was right about him. He was damaged and I deserved better.” Losing control, the tears fell down her cheeks. “Ginger, I told him I loved him!”
“Oh…” Ginger wrapped her arms around Cera and held on while she cried out her misery. “Do you want me to talk to him? I’d be quite happy to tell him what an idiot he’s being.”
Cera tried to smile at her friend’s loyalty. “I’ve got my pride. If he wants to leave, I’m not going to try to stop him.” She stood up and wiped her face briskly. “I think I’ll go back to my room for awhile. I don’t feel up to everyone’s stares right now.”
“I’m going to have the cook make you up some food.” Ginger shook her head when she began to protest. “It’s still several hours until supper time and you haven’t eaten all day. You look terrible and I mean that in the nicest way. I expect you to eat everything. Promise?”
“Fine, but if I throw it all up, you’re on clean up duty.”
*******
After Ginger spoke to the cook, she searched out Isaac. Entering the main sitting room, she found their hostess entertaining the group with a story that had them all laughing. She waited with curled hands on her hips until the older woman finished. Pointing a finger at Isaac, she accused, “You…You’ve ruined everything. She finally finds a decent man and you drive him away. I hope you’re satisfied!”
Shock and confusion registered on everyone’s face.
“Ginger, what on earth are you going on about?” Mary Beth asked.
“As if he doesn’t know.” Ginger glared at Isaac. “Jake is what I’m going on about. He’s leaving in the morning and it’s all Isaac’s fault. It’s been obvious since the first day he walked into the saloon that Isaac didn’t like him—despite everything he’s done for us.”
Isaac stood up in his own defense. “Now, calm down, Ginger, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why don’t you start at the beginning?”
“Did you, or did you not, tell Jake he was damaged goods? Did you tell him to leave? Because he’s going to and now everything is a mess!”
“Well, maybe I did, but if he’s leaving, I guess he’s proved me right. You know he’s a drifter. It was only a matter of time before he got the itch to leave. I was hoping it would be after we resolved our problems with Biggs, but it’s better to know now what kind of man he is, then later when Cera would have more than a few weeks of time invested in him.”
“Cera’s already invested quite a lot in him. She loves him and now her heart’s broken. What are you going to do to set things right?” When Ginger stopped to take a breath, everyone else began arguing.
After a few minutes, Tessa cleared her throat and the room fell silent. “I know I’m not fully aware of everything that has transpired, but I believe myself a good judge of character.” She paused, letting her eyes sweep over their faces. “You all seem like fine people in a very difficult situation. I have known Isaac many years, and I don’t think he would intentionally hurt any one of you.”
“But—” Ginger couldn’t contain herself.
Tessa held up her hand and went on, ignoring the interruption. “But sometimes our words do cause harm without us meaning them to. Words cannot be erased, but minds can be changed—that is, if you all agree that it would be for the best.” She looked at Isaac and waited for his response.
Isaac shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor. “I’m sorry, I think he should leave.”
“Damn you to hell!” Ginger shouted, throwing her arms up in frustration. She spun on her heel and marched from the room. At the doorway, remembering her Southern manners, she turned back. “Pardon my language, Madame Tessa.” With a toss of her big red curls, she left them in deafening silence to find Jake.
After checking on Cera, she continued to Jake’s room. Finding it empty, she made her way through the rest of the house, stopping servants to ask if they had seen him. When she got to the kitchen, she finally had some luck with the cook. “Do you know where he went from here?”
“He went outside, but I don’t know nothin’ more than that,” the cook grumbled. “With so many mouths to feed today, I didn’t have time to waste watchin’ him.”
Ginger went outside, slamming the door behind her. Trying to think like a man, she considered the various routes he might have taken. She didn’t think he would be strolling through the gardens, which left the horse barn as her first destination.
Opening the double doors enough to slip through, she waited until her eyes adjusted to the gloom and then walked down one side of the barn peering into each stall. In the sixth one, she found Jake lying face down in the hay beside his horse.