Authors: Melissa Brown
“
I
’
m in Evanston. I went to Northwestern and I love that town. Can
’
t bring myself to leave it.
”
“
Oh, I love Evanston. The campus is incredible and the town has so much character.
”
“
Where did you go to school?
”
I ask.
“
University of Illinois at Chicago.
I just finished this May. I got this internship because of my school. They have connections, I guess. I feel really lucky because it
’
s such a tough spot to get.
”
“
Well, congrats,
”
I say, tipping my head and raising my beer.
“
Do you come here very often?
”
I cringe, knowing I
’
ve just dropped another cheesy pick-up line on this poor girl. Chelsea giggles softly to herself and nods.
“
Yeah, I love it. I was a dancer in school, so I surround myself with music.
I can
’
t even cook a meal without having my iPod blasting.
”
“
Wow, sounds like we have a lot in common. I
’
m obsessed with music.
Can
’
t get enough
.”
I say, running my fingers through my hair.
“
Any favorites?
”
Chelsea asks, raising an eyebrow.
“
Oh man, I love just about anything. The Black Keys, ZZ Ward, The Fray and just about any band that plays here on a Saturday night
.”
I give her a questioning glance, looking to her eyes, hoping to have something in common with this girl.
“
You like ZZ Ward? She
’
s my new favorite. I
’
m obsessed with her and Ellie Goulding. Those two women are so talented, I can
’t even believe it.”
Chelsea
’
s eyes are bright as she talks about music. It
’s such a comforting sight
, to see someone as affected by music as I am.
After talking music with her for about twenty minutes, I can tell Patrick is getting restless at the table. I made him come here tonight, so it wouldn
’
t be very good form to leave him sitting there all evening.
“
Listen, I should get back to my buddy over there,
”
I say, gesturing towards Patrick, who waves at us. He doesn
’
t look surprised.
He knows this is normally where I meet the girls I date.
“
Would you like to join us?
”
Chelsea looks conflicted. She purses her lips before she speaks,
“
I
’
m actually here with my sister and some of her friends. I should find them so they don
’
t think I went home with some loser
.”
She laughs and then immediately covers her mouth with her hand. I let out a chuckle, seeing she
’
s obviously embarrassed.
“
I, um, I didn
’
t mean you, Evan.
”
“
No worries, Chelsea. Listen, I
’
ll see you at work, all right?
”
Chelsea looks defeated.
“
Okay,
”
she nods.
“
But, in case I can
’
t wait that long, can you give me your number?
”
I ask. She grins before plugging her phone number into my cell. Her cheeks are rosy as she smiles to herself.
“
It was nice meeting you, Evan.
”
“
I
’
ll call you, maybe we can hear a band together sometime?
”
She smiles and nods as I place my phone back into my pocket. Chelsea walks away and I return to the table with Patrick, looking forward to when I can see her again.
Kate
July 12, 2012
Almost two weeks ago, he was sitting right over there at the table near the pool table. His arm perched next to the blonde who was probably a librarian or a teacher. Two weeks ago when I hid in the backroom, watching him as Bree berated me, daring me to saunter over to him, to shake my ass and get him to follow me to the bar. But, I couldn
’
t.
I
’
ve seen him twice since he broke my heart two years ago. But, he hasn
’
t seen me. Every single shift I
’
ve worked since that night has been agonizing. My breath catches any time a dark haired man walks through the front door of Molly
’
s. He must be coming back for a reason. Or does he just want to torture me, make me hide like a fool in the backroom, reminding me again and again that he
’
s moved on when I can
’
t?
“
Kate,
”
Bree says, waving a hand in front of me.
“
Sorry, must
’
ve spaced out,
”
I say, shaking my head.
“
Uh, yeah, I said your name four times. Where were you?
”
“
You don
’t want to know.”
I hop off the barstool and roll my sleeves up a bit before grabbing a cloth to wipe down tables.
“
Try me,
”
Bree says, raising both her eyebrows. She stands straight, with her hands on her hips.
“
You watched me last month when I hid in the backroom. You thought I was pathetic, didn
’
t you?
”
Bree sighs and walks towards me, touching my arm gently.
“
You
’
re not pathetic, Kate. I just want you to move on and be happy, and I feel like we keep having the same conversation again and again. He
’
s not worth it,
”
she says dismissively.
“
But, what if he
is
?
”
I stand, clutching the rag in my hands.
“
Then, do something about it,
”
she says. Her words are strong
. . .
and tempting.
“
I wish I could. It just feels so impossible. He doesn
’
t trust me,
”
I say, twisting the rag in my hands.
“
Well, then, screw him. You deserve to be trusted,
”
Bree insists.
“
You don
’
t really believe that, do you
,
Bree?
”
I ask incredulously.
“
I do. I
’
ve known you for years now and you
’
ve never disappointed me. Not once. If he can
’
t see that, then it
’s his problem, not yours.”
“
There are things he knows that you don
’
t, Bree
.”
My voice has a warning tone to it. Part of me is hoping she
’
ll drop it so I won
’
t have to tell her about my past with men.
“
Like what?
”
she looks shocked as her voice is raised an octave.
“
I
’
m a cheater.
”
“
Like, at poker and shit?
”
Bree asks, looking confused. I can
’
t help but laugh.
“
You
’
re not that naive, Bree. Don
’
t patronize me
.”
The second I finish my statement, Bree gets a look of recognition on her face. We
’
ve been friends for a long time. But, we didn
’
t get close until I was dating Evan. There was no reason for her to know about my embarrassing dating history.
“
How many times?
”
she asks.
“
Too many to count,
”
I say with a
shrug.
“A
lmost everyone I ever dated since high school.
”
“
Why?
”
“
To be honest, I don
’
t know
.”
I raise my arms up in the air in defeat.
“
It
’
s like no one ever made sense to me. I
’
d get all wrapped up in the newness of ever
ything, the excitement, the woo
ing. A
nd then, when it stopped, I got . . .
restless. God, my mother
is
right about me. I
’
m restless, I
’
m flaky, I
’
m
—
God, I don
’
t know what I am anymore.
”
Bree takes a deep breath in, deep creases set in her forehead.
“
So, Evan knew all of this? He knew you cheated on all your boyfriends?
”
“
Yes.
”
“
So you basically scared the shit out of the guy.
”
“
Yes, without meaning to.
I wanted to be up front with him. I wanted a clean slate.
”
“Okay, I’ve wanted
to ask this next question for two years. But, I was honestly afraid you
’
d throw something at me. Can I ask it?
”
Bree asks with the smallest bit of a smile. I nod.
“
Did you cheat on him with Shawn?
”
she asks, holding up a barstool in front of her face.
“
Put it down, Bree. I
’
m not going to throw anything,
”
“
Okay, then. Answer the question, please,
”
she persists.
“
No, absolutely not. Shawn was just being a jackass, and Evan was paranoid or something because Shawn kept showing up here. He just unleashed all this anger on me, and before I knew it, we were over.
”
“
He hit a breaking point,
”
Bree offers. I nod in solidarity.
“
And there was no going back,
”
I add.
“
Did you ever try to win him back?
”
This question hurts. Because my answer is filled with regret.
“
I couldn
’
t. I was stubborn, waiting for him to come back to me. One month passed and then another and another. And before I knew it, it was way too late. He was gone. But, I don
’
t understand why he keeps coming back
here.
There are so many other bars he could take his dates to without showing up
here
.
”
“
He
’
s obviously hoping to see you,
”
Bree asserts, her hands on her hips, looking at me like I
’
m a fool.
“
No, I don
’
t think so,
”
I counter.
“
When we were together, he fought for me. He didn
’
t walk away like that.
”
“That’s not true.
He got pissed at you once and you were furious because he left. Remember? I had to cover for you while you went to his apartment to confront his ass.
”
“
That
’
s right,
”
I say in realization.
“
Regardless, I think he comes back here because it
’
s familiar and it
’
s comfortable.
I don
’
t think it has anything to do with me.
”