Authors: Melissa Brown
“
Oh come on, hot stuff. You know I can
’
t stay away,
”
he replies. I can smell the booze on his breath, which is saying a lot since we
’
re standing in a bar already filled with liquor and beer. He must be tanked. Fantastic. Because this night just couldn
’
t get any worse.
“
When are you gonna get this through your big, fat skull
—
I.Don
’
t.Want.You
.”
I brush past him, walking straight to the bar. Fred looks concerned, but I mouth,
“
I
’
m okay
”
to him since I know Shawn is nothing I can
’
t handle. Shawn
’
s right on my heels, following me to the bar.
“
I don
’
t buy it. There
’
s always been something here,
”
he slurs, motioning back and forth to the air between us.
“
You just don
’
t wanna admit it.
”
“
Hardly,
”
I say, walking behind the bar and grabbing four beers for the bar crawl boys. Quickly, I deliver the beers, hoping Shawn will have left Molly
’
s by the time I get back. But, he
’
s still there, sitting at the bar, drinking a beer of his own. Damnit. I glare at Vince who shrugs. It
’
s my own fault for never telling him about the nuisance that is my ex-boyfriend.
“
Listen, baby
—”
“
I
’
m
not
your baby, Shawn,
”
I say, hands on my hips and anger rising in my cheeks.
“
Whatever, you and I both know we had a good thing and I
’
m not ready to give up on you yet. So, when you
’
re ready, I
’
m here. Until then, get used to seeing this face,
”
he says, leaning back against the bar. He
’
s arrogant and smug; the exact type of guy that I used to be attracted to. Not anymore.
Crossing my arms across my chest, it seems that the only way I
’
m going to get him to leave is to play along.
“
Fine, but it appears you
’
ve had quite a bit to drink,
baby
, so maybe it
’
s time you head home
.”
Just calling him that makes my blood boil and my stomach flip in the worst possible way. I
’
m disgusted at the thought of ever being with him again.
Shawn stands up and grabs me tight, pulling me in for a hug. Not wanting to stir the pot, and hoping this is his goodbye to me, I hug him back. He hangs on tightly and I realize that if I don
’
t pull away, this hug is going to last a while, and could give Shawn the wrong impression. Slowly, I pull my body away. Shawn turns and wraps one arm around my shoulder. This is my opportunity to get his ass outta here.
I wrap my arm around his waist and guide him towards the door. Turning back to Vince, I say,
“
Now, Vince will call you a cab,
baby
, don
’
t worry. Let
’
s get you outside for some fresh air.
”
“
Oh, you
’
re the best, baby, what would I do without you?
”
he asks, tilting my head towards his. I can
’
t help but laugh as I turn my head towards the door.
And in the blink of an eye, everything comes to a screeching halt. Evan is standing in front of me. His skin ashen, his eyes bulging and his mouth pursed in anger.
His chest heaves in and out as his nostrils flair. I
’
m stunned into silence and the only thing I can think to do is to release the arm that was wrapped around Shawn
’
s waist. Shawn laughs as my world falls apart.
“
What.The.Fuck?
”
Evan shouts.
“
Ev, listen,
”
I attempt, my voice cracking. My brain is going a mile a minute, but my mouth won
’
t cooperate. I can
’
t form a coherent sentence. Shawn continues to laugh next to me and I want to punch him in the face. Turning back to face Evan, I see his fist fly through the air and make direct contact with Shawn
’
s jaw. Shawn topples backwards like a pile of wooden blocks and falls haphazardly on the floor.
“
Hey,” Vince yells as
he pushes through the crowd. He looks at Shawn, Evan, me and then back down at Shawn
’
s crumpled heap. His eyes are confused and he
’
s pissed. Fights have broken out at Molly
’
s before and he has no tolerance for them.
“
Take this the hell outside
.”
Evan pushes his way towards the door and I follow close behind him, afraid that if I don
’
t, he
’
ll be gone. I look to Vince with pleading eyes
,
and he reluctantly nods his head for me to go after Evan. Vince looks down at the unconscious Shawn sprawled on the bar floor and rolls his eyes.
“
I
’
ll take care of the drunken idiot,
”
he mutters.
“
Why? Why, Kate?
”
Evan yells as soon as the door closes behind me. The spring air is harsh for the end of May and it runs a chill down my spine.
“
Ev, seriously listen to
—”
“Stop calling me that. You aren’t
allowed to call me by that name
. Not anymore,
baby
.”
I cringe at that word. He heard me call Shawn
‘
baby
’
and now I doubt he
’
ll ever believe I was faithful. By trying to play along with Shawn, I
’
ve killed my relationship with Evan.
“
I was playing along! I was trying to get him to leave the bar!
”
“
I don
’
t believe that, not for a fucking second!
”
Evan screams, throwing his arms up in the air.
“
How long?
”
“
What are you talking about?
”
“
How long, Kate? How long have you been fucking him?
”
Evan yells, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
“
I haven
’
t,
”
I yell, my eyes pleading
,
but I can feel myself starting to shut down, starting to lock up.
“
It
’
s not at all what it looked like.
”
“
Right,
”
he spits the word at me, and in this moment, I know he doesn
’
t trust me. Not at all.
“
Do you know how many guys hit on me every single goddamn night, Evan? And not once have I done anything with
any
of them. I
’
ve been yours,
only
yours. But, you don
’
t trust me, so what
’
s the fucking point?
”
My right hand instinctively starts to twist the unofficial promise ring on my left hand.
“
What the fuck are you doing?
”
Evan says, staring directly at my busy hands.
“
Why the hell should I wear this,
E
v
-
an
? It
’
s nothing but a goddamn lie!
”
“
It
’
s not a lie, Kate, and don
’
t turn this around on me. You
’
ve been fucking your ex behind my back! I
’
ve been nothing but faithful to you. I
’
ve worshiped you, built my entire world around you, and for what? I come home early to surprise you, to try to make things better between us, and you make me look like a fucking idiot?
”
“
You think you
’
re so smart. You think you know everything, but you don
’
t.
And you obviously don
’
t know me, not at all,
”
I say, the tears beginning to well as I see our demise coming at us like a freight train. I want to hit rewind on our lives, go back and tell Shawn to get the fuck out.
“
So, tell me! For the love of God, tell me why the fuck you had your arm around your ex, guiding him to the door and calling him
‘
baby
’
?
”
His words are harsh as he steps closer and closer towards me until he
’
s only inches away.
He looks down at me, glowering
, his chest still heaving in and out. His anger has taken over, and I know nothing I can say is going to bring back my Evan. He
’
s gone.
“
I shouldn
’
t have to because you should know me well enough by now. You should know that I wouldn
’
t do that to you, to us.
”
“
I know what I saw, Kate. And I can
’
t un-see that. I know you.
I know your pattern.
This is what you do
. You use guys until you get restless and bored and then you throw us away and move on to the next. I guess it
’
s my turn to get off the fucking merry-go-round that is Kate, huh?
”
I can
’t take it anymore.
I turn and walk a few steps away from Evan, not wanting him to see my tears. They
’
re flowing now and I can
’
t stop them. I can
’
t make them disappear. And I
’
m so angry, so goddamn angry I want to scream. And so I do.
Turning back at Evan, I rip the ring from my hand and throw it in his face. His promise to me apparently means absolutely nothing.
“
There, take it! It
’
s not real. You don
’
t love me and you never did.
And you sure as hell don
’
t trust me, not at all. So, take it and go to hell, Evan Maxwell. Go to fucking hell
.”
“
I
’
m not fucking kidding this time, Kate. You walk away and we
’
re done. I
’
m not chasing after you.
I
’
m not coming back. I
’
m not a fool so don
’
t treat me like one. Tell me how long this has been going on!
”
“
Why does it even matter? I could tell you a week, a day, never, but the answer doesn
’
t matter. It
’
s the question that
’
s the problem with us. The fact that you have to ask that question. I
’
m done, Evan. Done.
”
“
I loved you,
”
Evan says matter-of-factly, looking down at the ring in his hands.
“
No. You didn
’
t,
”
I snap, shaking my head violently. I glare at him, tears pouring from my eyes, as I hope he
’
ll snap out of this, that he
’
ll believe me, that he
’
ll promise to trust me from here on out. But, he doesn
’
t. Instead, he walks away, taking my damaged heart and soul with him.