Chance Of A Lifetime (19 page)

“Daisy,” Miz Willow began as she laid down the pad of paper with numbers scrawled across it. “You know you don’t have to do this. We got plenty of room here.”

“Don’t get me wrong, Miz Willow. Yore place is mighty fine, and I cain’t tell you how much I ‘preciate yore hospitality.” Daisy searched for the words. “But Hawk’s Fall … Peter bought that land when we first wed. It’s home to Jamie an’ me.”

“Darlin’, I know it was. But that house is gone forever.” Miz Willow’s observation tore at Daisy’s heart. “Even iff ‘n you could scrimp enough to rebuild, it wouldn’t be what holds yore memories.”

“I ken that. But the land is all we got left now.” Daisy drew a deep breath. “So I need for us to keep on goin’.”
Logan, Jamie, and Bryce won’t stay out in the barn for’ver, and Hattie’ll be back from the Pleasant place soon
. She managed a tight smile as Miz Willow picked up the paper and pen once more. “You got how much per piece? Now we need to figgur out how many veils, runners, and collars you cain make per year.”

“It takes a powerful long time to make lace, so …” Daisy thought long and hard before she gave the answer.

Miz Willow’s pen scratched across the paper as she laboriously added it all up. “How much did Logan tell you the lumber would run? Hearth bricks? The workers?” The old woman frowned at the numbers she wrote. “You take into account all the thangs you’ll need? Furniture, pots, pans, stock of dry goods, blankets, hearth rug, buckets, hay for yore mule, and such?”

“Not yet.” Daisy lifted her chin in determination. “We’ll get by on whatever’s left after food and clothes for Jamie an’ me.” She rattled off still more numbers Logan had helped her figure out.

“That’s it, Daisy.” Miz Willow sucked in a sharp breath. “You only got but two dollars left. Ain’t nearly enough to outfit a home, even iff ‘n you manage to make as much lace as you say you cain this winter.”

Daisy’s throat closed.
It’s not enough. I cain’t possibly make any more lace than that, and even with the extry money from Logan’s trade deal, it won’t suffice. Why? I work so hard. It should be sufficient to provide for Jamie and me. I’ve always managed afore. I’ll think of somethin’
.

“Iff ‘n I swaller m’ pride an’ ask Logan and the men ‘round here to holp me out”—Daisy shut her eyes at the thought of asking for charity—“so’s I don’t pay for the work, would it be enough?”
It has to be
.

Miz Willow squinted at the pad. “I don’t reckon it would, Daisy. Even if the men of the community pitch in like they should and build the house and even yore furniture for you, you’ll jist have enough left to buy wood for next winter and keep yore mule in hay. Yore still missin’ blankets, pots, pans, and such like.”

“I’ll work harder,” Daisy spoke quickly, desperately. “How ‘bout iff ‘n I make two more collars this winter?”
I’ll work into the nights. Somehow, I’ll get it done
.

“Not quite.” Miz Willow shook her white locks. “It’d almost be enough, but yore forgettin’ how you an’ Jamie need winter thangs. Yore already makin’ him a coat, but that’s jist a start.”

“I don’t need anythin’. I got Hattie’s ole cloak. I’ll get by.” Daisy straightened her shoulders with resolve.

“What about candles?” Miz Willow pressed her. “And Nosey?”

I cain’t ask Jamie to give up his pup. She sleeps curled up aside him at night, follows him durin’ the day
. Daisy buried her head in her hands and willed herself not to give in to the sobs rising in her throat.
No matter how hard I work, I cain’t do it. There’s not enough time to take care of Jamie and make enough lace to rebuild our home
.

Her chest hitched, then tightened. Daisy’s breath grew ragged. Panic welled inside her.
I cain’t provide for my son
. She took in quick, shallow breaths, not getting enough air.

“Here.” Miz Willow thrust a cup of tea in her hands. “The steam oughtta holp you breathe. I’ll go get some eucalyptus oil.” She rushed to the storeroom and back, dotting something beneath Daisy’s nose. “Take slow, deep breaths now, else yore gonna faint.” Miz Willow squeezed her hand. “And you might as well let out them tears. They’ve been a long time comin’.”

The wail rose from the bottom of her soul as Daisy gave in. Hot tears rushed down her face, her shoulders shaking with the intensity of her sobs. Miz Willow held her as she cried for Peter, for Jamie, for the loss of their home, for knowing she couldn’t keep everything together no matter how hard she tried. When there was nothing left inside her, she straightened up and used the third handkerchief Miz Willow passed to her.

“What am I gonna do?”

“First thang is to calm down, now that you’ve let it all out.” Miz Willow briskly took the cooled tea from the table. “Then take a moment to realize yore already done with the hardest part.”

“What?” To Daisy’s way of thinking, the hardest part lay ahead.

“You admitted you need holp. That’s somethin’ you’ve been avoidin’ for a far sight too long.”

Mayhap
, Daisy admitted.
But now I have to ask for the holp I need
.

“So now that yore facin’ the facts, I figgur you’ve got two paths you cain take.” Miz Willow pinned her with a no-nonsense gaze. “You an’ Jamie are more’n welcome in this house. Yore son brightens my day, and yore a bigger holp ‘round here than you know.”

“Thankee, Miz Willow.” Daisy swallowed the lump of pride lodged in her throat. “It’s a good place to raise Jamie.”

“Yore welcome, Daisy. I ain’t jist returnin’ the customary response to thankee, neither. I want you to listen and pay me heed. You and Jamie are welcome here. Yore wanted and loved, and all of us know how hard you work. You’ll still be providin’ for yore son, jist under this roof where you cain holp me, too. Understand?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Daisy’s heart softened toward the old woman.
She’s a good woman and teaches Jamie useful thangs, too. Truth of the matter is, Jamie’s gettin’ bigger, but no better at carin’ for hisself. I need more holp with him, and having Hattie and Miz Willow around puts me more at ease on account of them bein’ healers. The wood floor is nice for Jamie, too. We cain have a good life here
.

“Now that we’ve got that settled, I’m going to put a fly in the ointment.” Miz Willow’s rocker began to creak rhythmically. “Seems to me yore overlooking Bryce. He’s dead set on marryin’ you. You’ve encouraged his courtin’. How cain you be so set on rebuildin’ in Hawk’s Fall iff ‘n yore givin’ any thought to marryin’ agin?”

“It’s early stages yet.” Daisy bristled. “I cain’t see into the future, and I got to be ready.”

“Say you two do marry up. His ranch is out in Californy. Have you given any thought to movin’ out there?”

“I’d be lyin’ iff ‘n I tole you the thought hadn’t crossed my mind,” Daisy admitted.

I cain’t imagine leavin’ these hills. My whole life’s fit into the valleys and peaks. The cricks and crags of this land hold memories and reminders. A woman follows her man—that’s why I left Salt Lick for Hawk’s Fall. But it’s only half-a-day’s ride. Californy’s clear cross the country
.

“Are you willin’ to pack up Jamie and leave?” Miz Willow prodded further. “Otherwise, you should tell Bryce now.”

“Iff ‘n he offers for my hand, and I accept, it’ll be with the intention of going where he leads.” Daisy spoke the words aloud for the first time. “Even if it is all the way to Californy.”

“Good.” Miz Willow stopped rocking to lean forward. “Lovejoy writes that it’s a fine place. You’ll have four sisters-in-law and lots of nieces and nephews for Jamie to play with. Weather over there’ll be easier on him, too. Logan’s sitting pretty from his share of the ranch, and Bryce’ll be jist as well off. The Chance men are good workers. He’ll take care of you and Jamie so’s you needn’t fret no more.”

“That ain’t any type of reason to enter into marriage. I don’t aim to wed Bryce so’s he’ll put a roof o’er my head,” Daisy denied firmly.
Iff ‘n we wed, it’ll be for love—’cuz we don’t want to part. We’ll become a family together—not a burden Bryce has to work to maintain
.

“Jamie’s my responsibility. I cain’t rely on Bryce to provide for us.”

Bryce froze at the certainty in Daisy’s tone. He’d just left Jamie in the barn to towel off some of the dried mud from Nosey’s fur, meaning to ask the women if they needed him to get anything from the smokehouse for supper.

“I cain’t rely on Bryce to provide for us.” The words knocked the air from his chest, and he exhaled sharply. Bryce stepped away from the cabin, unwilling to hear any more.

Jesus, help me! No matter how I twist the words, I can’t make anything good out of them. She said outright that she can’t rely on me to provide for her and Jamie. How can she think I won’t provide for them? She knows about Chance Ranch. Daisy’s seen me build rooms, barns, wagons. She has to know I’m more than capable of taking care of my own. There’s only one thing those words can mean. I’ve done everything I can think of to show her that I’ll take good care of her and her son. What more can I do?

Bryce trudged through the snow until trickles of water ran into his boots. He stopped pacing and shook his head to clear his thoughts.

Can it be money? Does Daisy think I’m destitute? I sleep in the barn because this isn’t my home. I haven’t showered her with courting gifts because I didn’t want to raise her hackles. She hates thinking she’s charity, and I wouldn’t make her feel low for the world. So how do I tell Daisy I’m more than solvent? It’s not exactly the type of thing you mention in conversation
.

Bryce began pacing again.

Words won’t do it. If I’m going to show her I am a good provider, I’ll have to think of something else. I’ll go to Charleston
with Logan this last time before Christmas and buy up anything and everything I think she and Jamie would want. If she doesn’t think of it as charity but as tokens of affection, it won’t affront her. I’ll prove that I’m financially stable
.

Having determined a course of action, Bryce stomped back to the barn, shaking snow off his boots.

Lord, thank You for letting me overhear Daisy’s concerns. Now that I know she’s worried about finances, I can put those fears to rest. I don’t know how she got the idea that Chance Ranch isn’t prosperous and I might not be able to provide for her and Jamie, but it’s a mistake I can set right. When I’m done, she won’t have a doubt in her mind that I will be a good provider for our family
.

“Good thing the snow’s light today,” Daisy observed, trudging through the slush with Hattie.

“Otis Nye’s place ain’t far, but we couldn’t make it the past few days on account of the snowstorm. His rheumatiz acts up somethin’ dreadful in the cold. He’ll be needin’ more devil’s claw tea.” Hattie pulled her cloak tight against the frosty air, and Daisy followed suit.

“That cloak shore do look nice on you, Daisy.” Her motion must’ve drawn Hattie’s eye. “‘Twas good of Bryce to think of it.”

“I never felt wool so soft.” Daisy stroked the fawn-colored fabric. “It don’t set right the way Bryce done give me this cloak and Jamie his scarf and gloves, while I ain’t done nothin’ in return.”

“Don’t be a goose, Daisy,” Hattie harrumphed. “They’s courtin’ gifts. Fine choices, too.”

“Bryce is good about findin’ out our needs and fillin’ ‘em,” Daisy had to admit. “It shore is nice to have a man pay me mind like that.”

“Well, you pay attention right back. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how many apple pies and such you’ve been bakin’, Daisy Thales!”

“Cookin’s the only thang I cain do right now to repay his kindness. Courtin’s betwixt two people, and I ain’t ‘bout to let him do all the givin’.”

“We all know you ain’t like that, Daisy.” Hattie shot her a disgruntled look. “That winter coat you sewed for Bryce is dreadful fine.”

“I ain’t quite finished with the linin’.” Daisy wanted the gift to be perfect. “It’ll be ready for Christmas.”

“I cain’t believe he’s made it through all this time with jist that one light coat.” Hattie shook her head in wonder. “Mayhap ‘tisn’t my place to go runnin’ my mouth, but Bryce shorely has gone outta his way to court you.”

“I don’t think there’s any way left for him to show me how serious he is.” Daisy paused. “Makes me feel …”
Beholden
. She pushed away the negative thought. Bryce made her feel so much more than that.
Wanted. Taken care of
. “Special.”

“I hope so. A man don’t stay through one of these winters sleeping in the barn unless he’s dead set on gettin’ his woman,” Hattie observed. “Good reminder that money ain’t ev’rything. It’s God who provides for us in ev’ry way.” She shook her head. “I cain’t believe Bryce thought to buy you a cloak and plumb fergot to get one for hisself. Shows ‘zactly where his mind is.”

Yes. His mind is set on me and Jamie, and my heart’s yearning for Bryce to return. He’s been gone to Charleston less’n a week, and I miss him. When he gets home, I know this’ll be a Christmas to remember
.