Chances Are (21 page)

“I just want you to know, Ms. Dione,” Lynn picked up when the noise died down. “I have a full-time job as an administrative assistant at the Legal Aid Society and I'm in my second year of college at Hunter studying for my social work degree. And I know I couldn't have done it without you pushing me to believe that I was better than I'd been told I was. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

They both walked over to Dione amidst clapping and stomping and showered her with hugs and kisses.

“This is incredible,” she choked to Betsy, wiping her eyes.

“You deserve it, chile. Everybody needs to know that they're cared about and appreciated.”

 

Garrett stood in the shadows of the back of the room, overcome by the love and adoration being showered on Dione. Deep inside he knew that above all she was a wonderful person, but a full understanding of the impact she had on people's lives hadn't hit him until then.

One after another the girls came up to express to Dione how important she was to them, how she had made them feel human again and worthwhile. Denise surprised everyone when she told them she'd gotten her apartment and would be able to move out at the end of the year. “Don't forget your smoke detector,” Kisha shouted out.

Even Theresa stood up to tell them how important being there had been for her and that even though she gave them all a hard time when she first arrived, Dione never gave up and kept pushing her and talking to her even when she wouldn't talk back.

Niyah stepped back up to the front. She clasped her hands in front of her. “This evening has been a tribute to my mother, an opportunity to say thank you for what she's done, how she's influenced your lives. But the one story that hasn't been told is mine. All my life I knew, believed that my mother loved me unconditionally. But it wasn't until recently that I truly understood how much.

“Many of you may think that my mother is just a real nice lady with a good education who wants to do the right thing. My mother is much more than that. She's more like all of you than you know.”

Dione's body stiffened. Betsy clasped her hand a bit tighter.

“When my mother was seventeen…” she began.

 

As Garrett listened to Niyah unveil the young life of Dione, his emotions seesawed from one extreme to the other: outrage at what her parents had done, agony for what she'd gone through and total awe and admiration for the woman she'd become, anyway. And through it all, she loved her daughter so much that she was willing to risk everything to protect her. Everything, including her own happiness.

There was no question in his mind that this was so much more than just a good feeling inside. It was about sacrifice, about giving a part of yourself for someone else completely. And maybe, just maybe, his own mother, in her own twisted, inexperienced way gave him up because she loved him enough to know that she could never take care of him and maybe someone else could.

Love was about taking risks with your emotions and not backing down from what was in your heart. He'd never been willing to take the risk with his feelings, to put them on the line. All those years he'd held back, blaming everyone, never giving them the chance to care. Dione didn't back away because she didn't care about him. She backed away because she did.

 

Dione covered her face with her hands as her tears rolled unchecked down her face, slowly shaking her head. All these years she could have shared her private burden with her daughter, with these girls who were reaching out to her to help her carry it.

Niyah understood. She didn't hate her for the lies she'd told. She understood that it was because she loved her that she'd hidden the truth. She turned to Betsy who clasped her around the shoulder, pulling her closer like she used to do when she was a teenager living in her house.

“I want to thank you, Ma, for everything. For the sacrifices you made for me. For the meals you didn't eat so that I could. For the hours you spent working to keep a roof over our heads when you needed to study so you could get out of school, for making me believe that I was special,” she said her voice shaking with emotion. “And most of all thank you for loving me so hard and so much.” Her eyes filled. “I love you, Ma, for everything,” she said walking across the room. “All that stuff, it doesn't matter. You and Ms. Betsy are all the family I need.” She walked into her mother's arms and everyone in the room stood and applauded between their tears.

“I love you, Ma,” she whispered over and again. “You gave me a chance to be everything I can be. Now it's your turn.”

Garrett wanted to go to her, tell her how he felt, tell her how incredible she was and how much he understood why she felt compelled to end things with him. But he didn't want to intrude on the private moment between her and Niyah.

This was her night.

All the girls and their children clamored around showering her with kisses and hugs. He turned to leave, but not before Dione caught a glimpse of him walking out the door.

N
iyah was up before the sun, eager as always to dig under the tree and hunt out her gifts. And as usual she made it a point of hopping down on her mother's bed to wake her up.

“Merry Christmas, Ma.” She bounced on the bed. “Wake up, it's Christmas.”

Dione slowly pulled the comforter away from her face and looked bleary eyed at Niyah who appeared as bright and alert as if she'd been up for hours.

“It can't be Christmas already,” Dione groaned. “I just went to bed a few minutes ago.” Her head swam with thoughts and images of the night before. The words of love and praise. The glorious feeling that she really had done the right things, and the sight of Garrett walking out of the door without saying a word. She stretched. “You're going to wake up Betsy,” she warned, hoping that would fend Niyah off for a moment.

“Too late. She's already up fixing breakfast.”

“Breakfast,” she groaned again. “How can anyone even think of eating after all the food we consumed last night?” Dione pulled the cover back over her face.

Niyah shook her. “Come on. Get up.” She hopped up off the bed. “If I don't see you out there in five minutes I'm coming back,” she warned, and Dione knew she meant it.

Dione turned over on her side in the vain hope of catching just a few more minutes of sleep. But the excited voice of Niyah, squealing over her gifts just like she always did, dashed that hope. Dione pulled herself out of bed, ducked in the bathroom for a quick wash up then joined Niyah and Betsy in the living room.

Before she knew it, she was wrapped up in the merriment as they sat among the shredded mounds of gift wrap, colored ribbons, bows and empty boxes.

Betsy was thrilled with her robe and modeled it proudly. Niyah had given her a watch, which she insisted she wear and stop telling the time by the angle of the sun.

Dione immediately put on the gold locket that Niyah had given her with the tiny picture of Niyah at her high school graduation inside.

Niyah put the sterling silver pen and pencil set that Betsy had gotten for her inside the Kenneth Cole bag from her mother, then sauntered off to her room, bouncing to some unknown beat coming from the CD player from Terri.

Dione sat back and took a breath. Momentarily closing her eyes.

“That was some night, last night,” Betsy said.

“That it was,” Dione sighed.

“I have a gift for you, too,” Betsy said. “Wait right here.” She went into the bedroom and came out several moments later and handed Dione an envelope.

Dione looked at it in confusion. “What is this?”

“It's a letter. From your mother. Seems like she saw that PSA on television and decided to write. It came to Chances a few days ago. The envelope that one came in,” she said, pointing to the envelope in Dione's hand, “was addressed to me. She wanted me to make sure you got it,
if
I thought it would be all right.” She smiled softly. “I think it is.” She turned away and walked out of the room.

Dione stared down at the white envelope and her hand began to shake. A gamut of emotions ran through her at once: hate, fright, betrayal, longing and love. Emotions she hadn't wanted to admit she could still feel for her parents. But they were still there, clinging beneath the surface needing to be nurtured.

She took a shaky breath and slowly ripped the envelope open.

Dione held the letter to her breast almost as if she wanted to squeeze the words out, make them a part of her. How many nights had she lain awake praying, shedding silent tears for the loss of her parents' love? They had never stopped loving her. They loved her in the only way they knew how.

“Oh, Mama,” she wept, as the tears of exoneration finally flowed from her eyes. She was worthy of love and always had been.

 

Dione stopped brushing her hair in mid-stroke at the light tap on her bedroom door.

“Come in,” she said thickly.

Betsy stepped into the room. “You all right, Dee?”

Dione turned around and smiled. “Yes. Finally Betsy. Finally.” She crossed the room and gathered Betsy in her arms. “Thank you Betsy for saving me from myself so many times. For taking us in and giving me what I needed all these years even when I didn't want it. For being a mother to me and a grandmother to my child. She always loved me, Betsy. Always. My daddy, too.”

“Hard to stop loving a child,” she clucked, patting Dione on the back. “If anyone knows that it's you.” She stepped back and looked Dione up and down. “And where are you off to?”

Dione adjusted her beige cable knit sweater over her hips. “I have some unfinished business to take care of.” She sniffed over a wobbly grin. Her hazel eyes sparkled.

“It's about time.” Betsy shook her head and slowly walked out. “Sure enough.”

 

When Dione stepped out into the early Christmas morning, everywhere that she looked was covered in a thin blanket of snow. It fell from the heavens in fat puffs, frolicking on rooftops, and doing little jigs along the streets before settling. She held her face up letting the wetness caress her, inhaling the pureness of the air as the snow bathed everything in its path in newness.

She was filled with euphoria as she skipped over to her car and began brushing the snow from the windshield. Let him be home, she silently chanted. As she worked the sound of music broke through the stillness. She straightened as Johnny Mathis's voice became clearer. “Chances are, though I wear a silly grin the moment you come into view…”

Her heart beat a bit faster as a car came to a stop next to hers.

Garrett stepped out of the car and the music surrounded them. “Anyone can see, you're the only one for me…”

“Hi,” he said from the far side of the car.

A slow smile broke out across her face. “Hi.”

“Going somewhere?”

“As a matter of fact, I was coming to see you.”

He came around to stand in front of her. His eyes ran over her face. “I was a fool to almost let you get away, Dee.”

“No more than me for sending you.” She stepped off the curb and right up to him.

He reached out and stroked her cheek, brushing away a snowflake. “You were right, Chances Are is a magical place. It's a place for growth and change. I know it happened to me, but it's because of the energy that you bring to it, Dione. I wanted to fight what was happening. I didn't want to give in. I wanted to hang on to my pain and anger, my resentment. But,” he slowly shook his head, “there comes a time in life when you finally have to let go, Dee. No one can be held responsible for our happiness, or who we are and become, but us.”

His eyes skipped across the planes of her face, memorizing each dip, the soft lines, the slope of her eyes, the fullness of her lips.

“Listening to Niyah last night, brought everything together for me. I was so stuck on me being the only one who'd ever been hurt, it blinded me to the world around me. Understanding your struggle and how you used your adversity to draw strength, gave me the strength I needed to finally make peace within myself. To let go, move forward.”

Tears trickled from her eyes onto his hand. Gently he brushed them from her cheeks.

“I was foolish not to let you get close, to keep a part of me away from you,” Dione said in a tight voice. “But I've held on to the belief that I didn't deserve to be truly happy for so long, I just didn't know any other way. What happened to me at seventeen colored my entire life and what I thought about myself.” She clasped his hand that caressed her face. “I believed that protecting Niyah from my own ugly truth, my own lack of feeling worthy, was my way of loving her.

“Maybe it was. But I never gave her a chance to decide for herself. And that was wrong. Love is a lot of crazy mixed up things, give and take. It will make you go to extreme lengths for those you love. But love is also about honesty. I know that now, and in discovering it, I nearly lost you in the process.”

His thumb brushed across her bottom lip and she felt her insides begin to heat. “This is the first Christmas in my life that I've ever wanted to celebrate, Dee. I want to keep the magic going from this Christmas on.”

“What are you saying?”

“I'm saying, chances are I'm crazy in love with you and I'm not taking any chances on losing you ever again. Is that honest enough for you?”

She draped her hands around his neck. “Merry Christmas, Garrett Lawrence. I love you.”

“Merry Christmas, Dee.” He lowered his head and kissed her for all the world to see, his spirit seeming to soar and float free like the flakes that danced around them. “Let's celebrate this wonderful holiday at my place,” he whispered against her mouth. “I'll even let you drive.”

She looked into his eyes for a long, hot moment. “I do believe some major celebrating is in order.”

Laughing, they walked arm in arm to Garrett's car. Dione stopped just before getting in. “I'd like you to come with me and Niyah to Washington,” she said, smiling. “There's someone there I haven't seen in a very long time. And I'll even let you drive.”

“On one condition,” he teased.

“What's that?”

“On the way, would you promise to tell me how you know Nick Ashford and Valerie Simpson?” he said in a little boy voice.

Dione tossed her head back and laughed, the tinkle of it floating along the stillness of the winter-white morning.

“Maybe you can convince me when we get to your house.”

“Baby, the pleasure will be mine.”

Niyah looked down on them from the window and smiled. “Merry Christmas, you guys,” she whispered.

 

As Dione lay cuddled in Garrett's arms, snug beneath the down comforter, his slow, steady breathing a soothing anchor for her soul, she felt true joy. This was happiness, this weightless euphoria that had eluded her.

This Christmas Day was one she'd never forget. She'd maintained the love and respect of her daughter, she'd rediscovered the love she'd thought she'd lost with her parents and she'd finally found the spark, the fire that had been missing in her life, by giving herself the chance to love Garrett from the depths of her soul and let him love her back.

She was sure they'd have a rocky road ahead of them. Both of them were stubborn, determined and driven to succeed. And they both had their issues that would still take time to heal, but the healing process had begun. And she knew the one thing they had that would sustain them was their strength of spirit. The hard-fought battle of their pasts was won. They'd bared their souls, withstood the vision and had still chosen each other.

She sighed, a soft smile framing her face as she adjusted her body closer to the contours of Garrett's. Chances Are
was
a magical place. Truly, she believed it now.