Changing Course (36 page)

I think the best part of the day is the way I felt when Brett left. Or maybe it's the way I didn't feel. I wasn't paralyzed with fear that I'd never see him again. Or that this fight would make him realize he doesn't need any extra drama in his life. Silly as it sounds, those thoughts are always going through my head. Today, when they should have been running rampant, I felt content. Brett and I had a fight. It wasn't earth shattering. It wasn't the end. It was just a fight. It actually makes me smile as I fade off into sleep, feeling like we are finally a real couple.

Minutes later I'm startled awake when a man crawls into my bed. I dart out of the bed terrified, but he grabs me before I make it far.

"Shhh, it's just me, gorgeous." Even with the adrenalin coursing thought my body, I melt into his arms.

"Hey," I say rolling to face him.

He doesn't waste any time before apologizing. "I'm sorry. I was an ass...again. It scared the shit out of me that once again Sarah hurt you, and this time physically. I took it out on you, I'll try harder next time placing my anger where it really belongs."

"I know," I sigh.

"Fuck Jesse, don't let me off the hook so easily. I feel like a jerk, this would be a lot easier if you yelled at me."

I reach out running my hands through his thick hair, placing a soft kiss on his lips. "You really were a jerk, but I don't want to yell at you."

I kiss him again. He takes charge and glides his warm tongue into my mouth. He grabs my butt and pulls it tighter against his growing erection. His hand snakes up under my shirt, and we both groan when his hand finds my bare breast. I want this to go further, but I promised myself I'd finally talk to him about Sarah.

"Brett, wait. We need to talk."

"Do we have to?" He rakes his teeth across my ear, just the way he knows I like it.

"Yes," I say firmly, but immediately regretting it when he rolls away.

"Okay, gorgeous, let's talk."

Crap, I really have to follow through and have this discussion now.

"I know you don't see Sarah on Thursdays anymore. Why do you still disappear?" This was the one question I was dying to know the answer.

"I made a promise that I would always be there for her on Thursdays. Even though she won't see me these days, I intend to keep that promise. I don't want to treat you like my back-up because you aren't. You're important to me, babe. If I kept you on standby every Thursday just in case she didn't want to see me, what does that say about how I treat you? I would rather just stay gone than know that you might be waiting for me."

Wow, that was a good answer. I close the distance between us and curl into his side.

"Why won't she see you?"

"I have no idea, she's gone off hinges recently. It worries me, and today's little episode only makes it worse."

"What did you say to her today?"

"Nothing, I used my key to her apartment, but she was locked in her room. She did tell me to go fuck myself though, so I think she's okay. I hired someone to stay with her for a few more days. She's actually been nice to the ladies sitting with her. Last week, one of them reported they baked a fucking pie together."

"Maybe not having you hovering around has helped," I say, immediately regretting my choice in words.

"You think I hover? I see her once a week. If she was handicapped physically, I'd be an ass for not visiting her more often." He has a point.

"I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

"I think after today, you have every right to say something. That doesn't mean I'll agree with you though."

"I know."

"I went about telling you this in the wrong way, but I do want to say, it bothered the hell out of me that you called Caleb instead of me."

"I'm sorry. He told me months ago that if I ever ran into her I should call him. I guess it stuck with me. After the way things went down last time, I think I secretly wanted someone who would side with me without question."

"I'm always on your side, babe." He actually sounds a little hurt.

"I don't doubt that when it comes to anyone except Sarah," I say as he lets out a loud exasperated sigh.

"Look, I really don't want to talk about her anymore tonight. This moment right now is the high point of my day."

"How did you get in here?" I suddenly realize Kara isn't home and I know I locked the door.

"I used your key. I went and picked up your car. I thought you might need it for work tomorrow."

"Oh, jeez...thanks. I didn't even think about that."

"Well, I'm glad I'm good for something." I giggle as he tickles me. "I love that sound,"
I love you.
"Can we finish this conversation tomorrow? I need to make you come then fall asleep inside of you," he says as I instantly go wet.

"Um..."

"Please Jesse, I need your silence more than anything right now. It doesn't have to be sex, but I need to feel you right now."

"Did you just take sex off the table?"

"Hell no!" he says, appalled that I would even suggest such a thing.

"Good, because I had a rough day too," I smile.

"Shit, I'm sorry about everything. All of it."

"Shhhh...I don't want your apologies. I want the silence too."

That's all it took for him to roll me over and satisfy his need to make me come. Twice. He really is an overachiever.

Jesse

"W
HERE ARE
we going?” I ask for the hundredth time since Brett picked me up.

"Jesse, I don't care how many times you ask me, I'm not telling!" he says, amused and frustrated.

"This is torture."

"This is not torture. This was me trying to surprise you by doing something fun. Stop complaining."

"I'm not complaining," I say, shocked he would even think that. "I'm excited, Brett. You know I don't do well with surprises. I'm sorry if you think I'm complaining."

"Gorgeous, don't get all upset. I was just picking on you. Even if you were complaining, I wouldn't care." He never his eyes off the road, but still manages to flash me a sexy smile.

Brett picked me up at nine this morning. He got called away last night, and decided to sleep at his own apartment since he got home so late. I hate when he has to leave in the middle of the night, but I guess it’s all part of his job. He showed up bright and early with coffee and muffins, so it's not like I could be annoyed. He told me to dress warm and be ready in thirty minutes. I wanted to offer up some attitude but when he refused to tell me where we were headed, I was so curious I immediately got ready.

"Where are we going?"

"Still not telling you," he sings beside me. "Seriously babe, you are going to ruin this. It's not a huge deal, and if you keep asking I think you are going to be let down."

"Did it cost you a small fortune?" I ask teasingly, but totally serious inside.

"It cost less than dinner last night, if that makes you feel any better." It did.

Brett is always paying when we go out. Which I would think was nice if he took me to normal date restaurants. No, Brett insists on taking me to nice places. He's not a fancy guy, so for a while I couldn't figure out if he just wants to eat at those restaurants, or if he had some misplaced need to impress me. He could have taken me to Mickey D's and I would have still been thrilled just to be spending time with him.

When I finally got up the nerve to ask him, he laughed at me. To my face, flat-out laughed at me. My hang-up on money gets under Brett's skin. I can't help it. I hate when he spends more than my meager weekly paycheck on one dinner. He’s a freaking detective, not a corporate CEO. I have to give up the fight though. He's a big boy. He can spend his money however he wants.

"Did you bring extra clothes?" he asks as we turn down a dirt road. We are at least an hour outside of the city. I can't imagine what we could be doing today.

"Yeah," I absently answer while searching for clues out the window.

Thank God we brought the Jeep today, because I'm not sure the BMW would have made it down this rough road. Suddenly, Brett steers the car to the side and throws it into park.

"We're here."

"Um...what?" I look around at nothing but trees and dirt. He doesn't acknowledge my confusion, but gets out and walks around to open my door.

"Let's go, gorgeous." He pulls me to my feet, my eyes still searching for a destination. He slings a bag over my shoulder and walks off into the woods.

"Brett! Where are you going? Don't leave me here."

"Then hurry up!" he shouts, not bothering to turn around. The idea of being left alone in the middle of the woods definitely put a little pep in my step.

I rush after him into the woods. Just after I hit the tree line I see a clearing, and it’s staggering. I look around to see nothing but a frozen pond. The snow on the ground has been cleared into piles lining the perimeter. It looks like something out of a fairy tale.

"Do you ice skate?" Brett asks, sitting down on a bench, the only man-made structure in sight.

"Do you?"

"Yeah, I played hockey in high school." He opens his bag, revealing a gigantic pair of skates.

"This is beautiful." I look around wide-eyed, taking in our surroundings.

"It's my favorite spot. Leah's husband’s, Ryan, family owns this land. Every year when it gets cold enough, they clear the pond and use it for skating."

"Is it safe?"

"Of course, crazy. Wait, you do weigh less than the tractor that cleared it, right?" he jokes as I shoot him a death glare. "Here," he pulls out a pair of skates from his bag.

"You did not buy me ice skates!" my yell echoes back at me.

"Okay, you sit here and freak out about a pair of cheap skates, but I'm going to take this pond for a spin. Let me know when you get over it, and I'll help you so you don't bust your ass." He steps onto the ice and flies away.

I watch him glide around for a few minutes. I hate it that he's right. The skates probably only cost him fifty bucks, but he needs to learn to talk to me first. I have a perfectly respectable pair hanging in my closet. Sure these are really awesome—powder blue with white glittery laces—but I didn't
need
them.

"Jesse James, chop chop! You can worry about it later. I'll even give you the receipt so you can be fully informed in your obsessing, but right now you need to get your sexy ass out here. I'll teach you. Stop procrastinating." I let out an annoyed sigh.

Rising to my feet, I take a few shaky steps toward the ice. Just before the edge, I reach out and grip his hands for balance.

"I've got you. One foot at a time. Just slide forward, I'll keep you balanced."

He holds my arms, skating backwards as he pulls me forward. I slip once and almost fall, but he lifts me off my feet and places me back down in front of him. He wraps an arm around my hips and curls me into his hard body.

"Alright. Let's go slow. I don't want you to end up covered in bruises."

Leisurely, we spend the next hour arm in arm gliding around the frozen pond. True to his word, Brett never lets me fall, but I never let go of him. It felt amazing to spend the day tucked tightly under his arm. I would have kept up the ruse all day, but of course Brett had to open his mouth.

"So what do you want to do tonight?" he asks when we flop down together on the bench.

"Um, maybe stay in. We can go to your place and I'll cook dinner. Something quiet."

"Jesse, you cooked dinner every day last week. Let me take you out this weekend."

"No, your idea of
out
is very different than mine."

"What is that supposed to mean?

"It means you take me to delicious fancy restaurants that most girls would adore, but really I just want to go to the sports bar and eat wings."

"Gorgeous, you don't eat wings. You loved dinner last night. You squealed when the waitress brought your food out." Dang it, he's right. The food was amazing.

"Can we please just stay in tonight and let me cook."