Changing Traditions, A Christmas Novella (5 page)

“
What?” Laura took a step
back from Jesse.

“
Yes, and you need to stop
always placing your anger on Carolyn. For the record, we are not
going behind your back, you are just always away. Why don’t you
just let Christmas be Christmas this year as it always has
been?”

For an instant, everyone
held their breath, waiting to hear Laura’s response. Standing on
the one side of her, Bethany could see tears begin to pool in her
eyes. They were quickly blinked away though before anyone else
noticed them. “I just can’t,” and she turned to Bethany as if
pleading with her to see her reason why.

Bethany ached for her
sister and wished she could do something to ease the tension. “I
think we all need to sit down and talk peaceably. We must be able
to come to some agreement that will make Christmas pleasurable for
all of us?” Bethany tried to reach out and give Laura a hug, but
Laura turned away.

“
I need to go. Besides,
you already know, Bethany. I don’t need to be here.”

“
Yes you do.” But Laura
already swept out the door before anyone could say anything
else.

Jesse placed his hand on
Bethany’s arm and gave her a hug. “We have to let her go, but
Bethany, if you know what’s wrong...” Jesse’s voice trailed off,
waiting for Bethany to continue.

Bethany sighed, “I don’t
think it’s my place. Laura needs to be the one to explain why this
is hard for her. But I will say this. We are all hurting and the
disagreement is making it worse. We should be pulling together, not
apart.”

And though she said the
words, Bethany didn’t know what she could do to fix that
problem.

CHAPTER
SEVEN

Dear
Diary,

I hardly know what to
think. All I want is for everyone to be happy and remember the
Christmases that we had. Christmas is supposed to be a joyful time
as we celebrate God sending His Son to earth as payment for our
sins. Why is it so hard to remember that?

Dear Laura is struggling
so much and I hardly know how to reach her. I’ve never seen Laura
so hard. I suppose none of us know how hard the war has been on
her. Not that we were trying to discredit her, but I suppose we all
thought it was easier for her because she didn’t have a spouse at
war. But Laura held us up. She was always trying to be joyful
during the rough times and I knew that I could always talk with her
about missing Albert. Henry and Luke’s death also hit her hard but
she always seemed to make sure Momma was okay.

Meanwhile Carolyn is at
the opposite end. Carolyn and Heather (and I suppose myself as
well) were a mess. Now that Jesse, Scott, and Poppa are back safe
and sound, they want to celebrate as though nothing has changed. In
some ways it hasn’t, but in other ways, everything has changed and
we can’t go back to what we had before.

Traditions have a way of
binding a family together. We are joined together each year by
decorating the tree, making wreaths, baking pies and cookies, and
celebrating Christ’s birth. But at one point, those traditions were
new. Maybe now is a good time to begin some new customs while
somehow keeping the old.

Maybe there’s a way to
intertwine old traditions with new ones.

The following day, Bethany
found herself walking through the woods. She found that throughout
all the bustle going on at home, time to think was rare. Laura
returned home later than expected, but she was still long past
dinner. Bethany didn’t even get a moment to question her where she
had gone because Laura went right to bed. Though Bethany was
usually willing to let her sisters alone when they wanted it,
tonight she couldn’t help but pester her just a bit.

Laura was quick to retort
that she had no intention of discussing Christmas any further and
claimed that Bethany already choose what side she was
on.

Kicking a mound of snow,
Bethany sighed, “I don’t see how she can even see that there are
sides. Oh what a Christmas this will be!”

“
My Beth kicking snow. Now
that is a sight indeed.” Bethany turned at the voice and spotted
Jeremy walking towards her, his sleigh parked not far away. “Your
momma told me where to find you and she appears as worn out as you
look.”

“
Oh Jeremy, everything is
a mess!” Bethany sat down in the snow, not carrying that it would
make her skirt cold and wet.

Jeremy came down next to
her, “Tell me about it.”

Not sure if she wanted to
divulge into the whole saga, she decided to simplify it. Besides,
Jeremy knew most of the story anyway. “Why can’t there be a way to
combine Carolyn’s ideas of traditions with Laura’s new ones? And
it’s not as if Laura even has ideas, she just wants a
change.”

Jeremy took her hand and
squeezed it, “I’m sorry, Beth, I’m not sure what to say to make it
better.”

“
I wish there was a way to
get us all to sit down and just talk about everything reasonably.
But Laura wants me to be the go-between. I think though that
Carolyn would take it better coming straight from her. Oh I hope
our Christmas won’t be ruined.”

“
It won’t. By Christmas
Day, everyone will forget their disagreements and be able to just
focus on the happiness of the occasion.”

“
Well I hope it happens
sooner than that.” Bethany could hardly imagine putting up with
Laura’s moodiness until Christmas. They sat in companionable
silence for a bit, until Bethany broke the silence. “I was thinking
about us too. I’m still unsure, Jeremy. I believe I still care for
you as a friend.”

“
It’s only been a couple
days. Besides, friendship can always grow into something
more.”

“
But I thought it would be
more confirming! I just don’t know what to think…” her voice
trailed off causing an uncomfortable silence between
them.

“
Where is this coming
from, Bethany?” Jeremy’s voice sounded far away and from the sound
of it, Bethany knew that she hurt him.

“
I don’t know. I guess I
just wanted to tell you how I was feeling so you don’t begin to get
ideas about things that aren’t existing. And…well…Christmastime was
always special with Albert and me.”

Jeremy turned and grasped
Bethany’s hands, forcing her to make eye contact with him. “You
can’t keep comparing me with Albert, Bethany. I know you went
through a hard time, but I’m here now. Why can’t you see
that?”

Bethany eyes pooled with
tears, “Jeremy, I…”

“
I’ve always loved you,
Bethany Woodsmall, ever since you first walked through the school
house doors. Then when your family moved back here, I couldn’t wait
for you to visit town so I could see you. When you started seeing
Albert, I thought my heart would break in two, but somewhere deep
inside, I was able to keep going. The time I spent in war, Albert
and I were in the same regiment. I tried to be friendly to him for
your sake and knew that I was going to look after him to make sure
he made it back to you. How was I to know he would leave for
Washington D.C.? I gave you time and space as you tried to move on.
And I’m not planning on pushing you or forcing you to do anything
you don’t want to do, Bethany.” Jeremy made motion to stand, but
Bethany clung to his hand.

“
Wait, Jeremy, I didn’t
mean to hurt you. Don’t go yet.”

“
You need time to think,
Beth, and I’ll give it to you. But don’t think I’m giving up on
you.” He planted a kiss on her forehead before moving back to his
sleigh. Before he left though, he came back with a box in his
hands. “I wrote these for you. Perhaps if you read them, you’ll see
how much I care. How I’ve always cared.” Then he was
gone.

Bethany watched until he
was out of sight and then she just broke down. How could everything
be so messed up? This was not how Christmas was supposed to be.
Christmas was supposed to be a happy time with family. Christmas
was about celebrating the Savior’s birth.

This Christmas was
supposed to be celebrated with Albert. Perhaps he would have
proposed. But he didn’t love her, not anymore.

“
This isn’t fair, God! Why
is my life all jumbled up?” No one answered her, not that she was
expecting anything. She, who was always content, now found herself
questioning God’s plan.

The box grew awkward in
her lap and after blinking her tears away to clear her vision,
Bethany took the lid off. Inside were letters. Letters written to
her. As she leafed through them, Bethany saw that they were dated
before the Civil War even began. Jeremy began writing her before
she even began going out with Albert.

Even though she was aching
to read the letters, Bethany decided to read them later. She had a
guess at what they contained and her mind was already so muddled to
add more information.

Despite the situation brewing between the sisters, everyone
still came over the night before St. Lucia. Momma, Heather, and
Bethany were busy in the kitchen while Carolyn had Rosie standing
on the table to get her St. Lucia dress trimmed. The aroma of sweet
buns filled the kitchen along with an assortment of pies. Surely
they had enough for an army, but right now, no one really cared.
The happiness that filled the room was enough, but Bethany wondered
what would happen when Laura came back from town. Jake was supposed
to go to reason with her and prepare her when he picked her up. She
could only pray it would be enough.

“
Rosie, stop fidgeting,”
Carolyn muttered with her mouth full of pins.

“
But I’ve been standing
foreeeevvvverrr!”

The pins out of her mouth
now, Carolyn gave Rosie a quick kiss on her head. “Now, now, it’s
barely been ten minutes and I’m almost done. What an angel you look
like in this dress!”

“
Exactly what am I
supposed to do again?”

“
On St. Lucia day, usually
the oldest girl in the family carries coffee and buns to her family
in bed. It’s a tradition that was celebrated in Sweden and has been
in our family for years.” Carolyn had a faraway look in her eyes.
“If only I still had my first St. Lucia gown. Alas, it must still
be in Sweden.”

Rosie crossed her arms and
twisted, earning a look of disapproval from Carolyn. “So who is St.
Lucia? And why am I playing her?”

“
St. Lucia is…oh, Bethy!
Do you remember that letter
Mormor
sent to us years ago explaining St. Lucia and her
story?”

Bethany turned from her
position of rolling out more buns and thought, “I supposed it would
be upstairs somewhere with our things. No wait, I placed it in my
diary!” Bethany flew from the room and hurried up to the loft. It
must be somewhere. She, Carolyn, and Laura saved all of
Mormor’s
letters from
Sweden and this one would be no exception. When they were younger,
Bethany’s first Momma would always read them this story to remind
them why they were celebrating St. Lucia’s day.

Why…that was it! Perhaps
if Laura remembered why St. Lucia’s day was celebrated, she
wouldn’t be so against the idea. But Laura was seldom at home and
when she was, she made it clear she didn’t want to talk with
Bethany.

The same was with Jeremy.
It had been three days since she had seen him last and Bethany
wondered if she had made a huge mistake. Of course, she should be
the one to go and see him, and deep down, she knew what she wanted
to say. Or did she?

“
Bethy! Any luck?”
Carolyn’s voice carried up the loft and Bethany knew she shouldn’t
dally any long. Opening the box of letters from
Mormor
, Bethany found what she was
searching for right on the bottom of the pile.

Clasping the letter which
still smelled like
Mormor
, she hurried back to the
kitchen. All eyes were on her with anticipation as she held up the
letter. Bethany held out the letter for Momma or Carolyn to read,
but Momma smiled. “You do us the honor, Bethany. You always had a
gift of story telling.”

“
Very well,” Bethany sat
down at the table across from Rosie and Carolyn. “Here, Rosie, I’m
going to tell you about St. Lucia. Now this is in letter form, so
it will be as if
Mormor
is talking to you. You remember
Mormor?”
Though
Mormor
only passed away
a year ago, Rosie didn’t seem certain. But Bethany proceeded with
her letter.

“
It was a dark morning on
December 13 when the story begins. St. Lucia, or Lucy as she was
called, lived in the Roman Empire when persecution of Christians
was quite popular. As a young girl, Lucy led a life devoted to God.
She loved her faith and she loved the poor – willing to do all that
she could to help them.

“
Life was dangerous for
Lucy, especially now that she was a Christian. But Lucy was not
deterred. In fact, the danger spurred her on even more.

The night was falling fast
and Lucy knew that she must act now or risk being caught. Without a
second thought, she slipped into the underground catacombs. It took
a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness of the tunnel.
Would she ever get used to such pitch darkness? Thank goodness for
the candles upon her wreath.