Chaos (3 page)

Payton

For the last couple of hours, I think I’d been walking around in a daze. My body was tired, my mind equally so. The events of the day had taken their toll on me. By the time I climbed into bed with Sebastian, I could hardly keep my eyes open, but even when I tried to close them, my brain wouldn’t stop processing everything that had happened.

It seemed as though the day would never end. From the limited amount of sleep I’d gotten last night to the flight back from Vegas that morning, dinner with Chloe and Aaron, the race, the accident, the hospital… It all seemed to morph together into one giant nightmare, and I was ready for it to be over. If it wasn’t for the fact that I had some things on my mind, things I needed to tell Sebastian, I would’ve just closed my eyes and forced my brain to cease for a little while.

But there were a couple of things I needed to share with him. Important things that he needed to know before we woke up to a new day. What I had on my mind wasn’t easy to share, but I knew I had no choice.

After curling up to Sebastian, my head on his chest, I listened to his steady heartbeat for a couple of silent minutes before I garnered the nerve to talk. When the words came, I think they surprised me as much as they did Sebastian. “I tried calling Conrad today,” I admitted softly. Part of me was hoping he was asleep and he wouldn’t hear the words.

I didn’t get that lucky.

“Tried?”

“Yeah,” I explained. “He didn’t answer, and I didn’t want to tell him about the accident on his voice mail, so I didn’t leave a message. I called Lauren.”

I felt Sebastian’s head turn. He was trying to look at my face, but I didn’t move. I didn’t want to look him in the eye, for fear he would see my anger and frustration. Not at him. At them. The people who were supposed to be his parents, his family. The ones who had blatantly turned their backs on him when he’d needed them.

“What did she say?” he asked, his tone even, belying the tension that I could feel in his body.

“She pretty much said okay.” That wasn’t far from the truth.

“Okay? What did you tell her?”

“I explained about the wreck, informed her we were at the hospital and that I didn’t know how you were. I told her you were unconscious when the ambulance came and that Leif was in bad shape.”

I heard Sebastian’s deep exhale, his chest rising and falling beneath my head.

“Doesn’t surprise me,” he stated, his tone harsh yet apathetic.

I understood his pain. I wanted to give that woman a piece of my mind. One of them, either Conrad or Lauren, preferably both, should’ve been there for Sebastian. But they hadn’t been.

“I also tried to call Aaliyah, but she didn’t answer.”

“Really?” Sebastian asked, this time moving enough to look at me. I peered up at him, meeting his gaze in the dim glow filtering into the room from the light I’d left on in the bathroom.

“No. I told her I needed her to call me. She hasn’t yet.”

Sebastian’s body tensed, but he lowered his head back to the pillow, and I adjusted my position, placing my arm over his chest and holding him.

“There’re some things you need to know, Payton,” Sebastian said, his voice soft, soothing.

“About your family?” I asked, having already gathered that there were issues within the family structure. I mean, I knew that Sebastian and his father didn’t get along, but this… His family didn’t even care enough to come to the hospital to check on him.

That went far beyond normal disagreements.

“Remember back when I told you that Conrad was my father?” he asked me.

Rather than answer, I nodded, my head still resting against his chest.

Sebastian placed his hand on the back of my head and began stroking my hair. It was still wet from the shower, and the warmth from his fingers felt good against my scalp.

“There’s more to the story.”

“I figured as much,” I told him.

“Before I tell you this, I need you to make me a promise.”

I lifted my head and looked into Sebastian’s golden eyes. He was dead serious. Whatever he was about to tell me wasn’t going to be like the stories he’d told me about his mother, or the pain of being thrust into the unknown, forced to live with a man who didn’t want to act as a father.

“I promise,” I whispered, knowing I would keep that promise, even though I feared it at the same time.

Sebastian took my chin between his thumb and forefinger, holding my head still so he could look at me. I wasn’t sure what he was hoping to see in my eyes, but he must’ve found it, because he released my chin and cupped the back of my head, urging me back down to his chest.

Silence encompassed us once again, but it only lasted a few heartbeats.

“I don’t think my mother’s death was an accident,” he said, his tone a strange mixture of sadness and anger.

I sucked in a breath, holding it. I was trying to process his words. They’d been spoken so matter-of-factly, so easily, as though he’d given this some serious thought. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do with that information. Thankfully, he didn’t give me time to think too much before he continued.

“Like I told you, I was fourteen years old when she died. I was old enough to hear things and understand what was going on, and I knew that the weeks preceding her death had been particularly difficult for my mother. She’d already told me that she was considering reaching out to Conrad, trying to get money from him to help. We were going to be evicted from the apartment — it had gotten that bad.

“My mother seemed to be more upset than usual. I’d seen a couple of notices on the door, informing her that she had days to produce the back rent and bring the account current or they would be locking the doors. When I asked my mother about it, she wouldn’t go into detail, telling me that it was nothing to worry about.

“As I usually did, I went about my business, going to school, stirring up shit, working a few hours here and there to make some cash, but I still worried. One night before my mother went to her second job, I asked her about child support. She told me all the gory details about Conrad and how he hadn’t wanted anything to do with us. I’d been livid, but I told her that he owed us that money. She shouldn’t’ve had to go it alone, but she did. All those years, she busted her ass to raise me. Alone.”

Sebastian’s heart rate had sped up; the steady thump beneath my ear had become a rapid beat. He was breathing harder and faster, but I didn’t know how to comfort him, so I didn’t move, letting him continue.

“She told me she was going to reach out to him, see if he would help in some way. For the days that followed, I asked her whether she’d contacted him. She would brush me off, but she did tell me she had tried. She would never admit to talking to him, but I think she did.”

Sebastian took a deep breath, exhaled slowly. “Payton, I can’t prove it yet, but if it is the last thing I do, I will. I can’t keep going on like this. I can’t keep going through every single day not knowing the truth.”

“What truth?” I asked, scared to hear the answer.

There was silence for a minute, maybe two, before Sebastian finally spoke. And before the words came out, I knew that his next words were going to change the rest of our lives.

“I think my father killed my mother.”

The next thing I knew, Sebastian was over me, his warmth penetrating every inch of my skin. Without hesitation, he pushed the T-shirt I was wearing up and over my head, leaving me completely naked beneath him. His shorts disappeared just as quickly, and then he was kissing me, slowly at first. I had so many questions running through my mind, begging to be released, but I knew the time for talking had ended.

He was causing a distraction, and I couldn’t necessarily blame him. This was deep, too deep to discuss when we were existing on adrenaline and very little sleep.

His hands wandered over my skin, his fingers pinching my nipples until I was moaning his name, begging him for more. The entire time, his face was pressed against my neck, my hand cupping the back of his head. And when he thrust into me, I was ready. My body had ignited from his touch, but there was something more there. Something considerably deeper than any other time we’d been together.

Sebastian’s hips surged forward, my legs wrapping around him, taking him deeper. As deep as possible. He continued the steady, unhurried pace, driving me closer and closer to the edge. But I knew he wasn’t with me. He was using sex to bury the pain, hiding from me. I didn’t want that.

“Sebastian,” I whispered, twining my fingers into the longer hair at the top of his head and pulling him back. He gave in, lifting his head, and that was when I saw his eyes. They were wild with both fear and rage, and I knew it had to do with the thoughts warring inside of him. But I didn’t want that rage there between us.

I used all of my strength, finally managing to force him over to his back. I didn’t waste any time resuming my position over him, sliding down on him, taking his body into mine as I moaned, the feeling so exquisite I nearly forgot the reason I was doing this.

“Look at me, Sebastian,” I demanded.

Sebastian’s golden gaze locked with mine as I leaned forward, rocking on him as he impaled me, his hands gripping my hips firmly.

“Don’t leave me, Sebastian. Stay right here with me,” I insisted.

“Payton,” he whispered, tears forming in his eyes. “Angel.”

“I’m here,” I told him, leaning into his touch when he cupped the side of my face in his hand. “I’ll always be here.”

“Tell me you love me, Payton.”

I watched him, continuing to ride him slowly, not wanting the connection to be broken. There might’ve been pain, but I wanted it to be forced out — at least for the moment — by pleasure. The pleasure that only we could bring one another.

“I love you, Sebastian,” I whispered.

His hips began to thrust upward, and the intense sensation accosted me, sending shards of pleasure ricocheting through my insides.

“Sebastian.” I breathed his name out as my body tensed.

“Look at me, Angel,” he commanded. “Look at me when you come.”

I forced my eyes open, locking them with his, and what I saw reflected there combined with the sensations he was building within me were too much.

“I love you, Angel,” he whispered hoarsely, his hand cupping the back of my head as he stilled beneath me. I felt him pulse inside me as my orgasm crested.

And when I rested on his chest, trying to catch my breath, I knew that the journey we were about to venture on was going to be a long one. Possibly painful at times. But I vowed right then and there that I would be there, however he needed me. Sebastian Trovato was the man I loved, the man I would spend the rest of my life with.

But as I accepted this, I prayed that Sebastian could find closure from whatever had happened all those years ago, and above all else, I prayed that whatever demons he might be fighting — real or not — could be conquered.

Sebastian

Two weeks later

Friday afternoon

I cut out early, unable to keep up the pretenses of working for Conrad and not hating every fucking second of it. I’d spent the last two weeks going through the motions, doing the best I could, because I was more worried about Leif than I was about stirring shit up at the moment.

But today was the day.

My house was ready for me to move in; the furniture I’d ordered had been delivered yesterday and overseen by Toby because I’d had other shit I’d needed to take care of and couldn’t get over there. I was trying to do everything I could to keep Conrad off my back. So far it had worked, but tonight, when I started moving my stuff out of the guesthouse, my guess was that Conrad was going to get wind of what was going on. I needed to get it all in one trip, because I had a feeling he was going to lock up the estate and refuse to let me back in.

I got that. I did.

Over the course of two weeks, most of the scratches and bruises on my face had healed, but never once had Conrad asked about them. Not one fucking time. Using the rift that had been formed from the Vegas debacle as an excuse, I had avoided having dinner with them. Aaliyah had tried to talk to me, but I had brushed her off. I was cautious of her at the moment. She hadn’t returned Payton’s phone call, and she seemed completely oblivious to the accident, but I couldn’t be certain. Part of me wondered whether Lauren had managed to turn her against me, and until I knew how to handle the situation, I was keeping her on the outside, as well.

So, with my family keeping their distance, I figured there was no time like the present to get my shit and get out.

It wasn’t that I was running because of recent events. I wasn’t bailing because Conrad hadn’t even asked about Leif once in the last two weeks. Payton and I had come to an agreement the night I’d spilled my guts to her. We were going to keep the information to ourselves. She was going to continue to work for Conrad, and together we would see what we could find out. Although I was tempted to ask her to quit her job, she had brought up a good point. As long as she was at Trovato, Inc., there was a better chance of her getting information that might help us solve the mystery of my mother’s death.

But that didn’t mean I had to pretend to be okay with him. I wasn’t. Not by a long shot.

So, I had designated today as moving day.

Payton and Chloe had agreed to go to the store when Payton got off work. They wanted to pick up groceries and deliver them to the new house. They were going to spend time putting things away as we brought them over, as well. She told me to consider it a moving in party.

Whatever she wanted to call it, I didn’t care. Just as long as she was there.

The house was finally mine. I had signed the papers late yesterday, after Jim had worked miracles to make that happen, but it was all done and over. I had spent less than an hour scribbling my name on one line after another while Jim sat by my side. When we were finished, he’d clapped me on the back and congratulated me. I’d bolted straight to Payton’s after that, telling her what I’d done.

Yeah, I had kept it a secret up to that point, not wanting to jinx it. After breaking the news, I had explained that until I had signed on the dotted line, it wasn’t official. She had been a little surprised, but overall, when she’d thrown her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly, I’d known I’d done the right thing.

Truth was, I’d been keeping my eye on that house for a few months now. I’d known, even before Payton had walked into my life, that things were deteriorating between my father and me, and the secret I was holding on to had become too much for me to deal with. It was time for me to move out, to live my own life without him breathing down my neck every second of every day.

But packing my shit was probably going to be the easiest part of the entire process. I still had to inform my father that I was leaving, but I was planning to hold off until another day. I wanted to be out first. However, informing him that I was done was high on my priority list.

And by done, I wasn’t just talking about moving out and living on my own.

I was fucking done.

Done with him period.

Considering I really was the reason Trovato, Inc. had continued to grow over the last few years, I didn’t expect my father to take the news lightly. Although he’d threatened to replace me numerous times, even he knew that wasn’t possible.

But now he wasn’t going to have a choice.

And eventually, I had to get Payton away from him, too.

It took me less than five minutes to drive from the garage at my father’s house, where I worked, to the guesthouse, where I’d lived since I was eighteen years old. I realized as I approached the place that I wasn’t going to miss it. I’d never had a sentimental attachment to anyone or anything here. The closest thing I had to family was my sister, Aaliyah, and I even wondered how sturdy that bond was from time to time. Her mother had some serious pull with Aaliyah, which was why I hadn’t told her any additional details about my plans to move out. Leif had already told her, but as of yet, Aaliyah and I hadn’t discussed it. She was upset, and it wouldn’t be any better once I did finally talk to her, but there were plenty of other things she was going to be upset about.

Namely the fact that Leif had been laid up in a hospital bed for the last two weeks and no one had told her. After Payton had informed me that she’d tried to call Aaliyah but hadn’t reached her, I’d told her not to say anything. Not yet.

I wanted to see whether or not Lauren actually revealed the details Payton had relayed to her that day. Not surprisingly, she hadn’t said a word. Not to Conrad and not to Aaliyah. Or if she had, neither of them were giving away that they knew.

Whenever I chose to inform Conrad that I had moved out and that I no longer planned to work for Trovato, Inc., I would let him know just what had happened and how his bitch of a wife had kept those details to herself. I didn’t like the woman. Never had. And as time went by, she continued to give me more and more reason to despise her.

No love lost there, though. I knew she felt the same about me.

I was a threat to her.

As I pulled into my driveway, a new thought drifted into my head. What if my father wasn’t responsible…? What if…?

Holy shit.

I shook the thought away. I had other things to do at the moment, and wondering whether my stepmother could’ve stooped so low as to eliminate anyone she saw as a threat to her… Yeah, I couldn’t think about that now. The rage would consume me and I would be useless.

I wasn’t surprised to see Toby’s car parked in the driveway, nor was I shocked to see him sitting on the couch in my garage when I pulled in. I was glad he was there. I needed someone to keep me focused, and Toby could easily do that. He somehow managed to keep me smiling most of the time — I happened to think he did it on purpose, but I’d never mentioned that to him.

He stood and greeted me when I pushed open the door to the truck, a wide grin plastered on his face.

“It’s about fucking time,” Toby said, coming toward me when I climbed out of the car.

“Did you miss me, you fucking pussy?” I asked, smiling as I said it.

“Fuck no,” he retorted, a lie if I’d ever heard one. “I could’ve come over to the house if I wanted to see your ugly mug.”

“Yep, I knew it. You missed me.”

Toby rolled his eyes, then nodded his head toward the empty space in the garage, the spot where my Camaro used to sit. I closed the truck door and came to stand beside him. “You plannin’ to replace it?”

“Yeah,” I told him honestly. “Eventually.”

“Good.” That was all he said before slapping me on the back, sending me stumbling forward a step.

“The furniture was delivered yesterday, right?” I asked as I righted myself and glared at him over my shoulder.

“Yep,” Toby confirmed. “All your new shit’s been set up.”

Thank God.

“Payton and Chloe should be there in a bit,” I told him. “They’re getting groceries.”

“I hope you didn’t give them your credit card,” Toby said, laughing.

“I did.” I smiled. I’d told Payton to buy whatever she thought we might need. Yes, I had inserted the word “we” into that sentence, and she hadn’t balked at it, either. I had informed her that damn near everything in the guesthouse belonged to my father, so if it wasn’t in the house now, I probably didn’t own it. She informed me she would stop by first, check it out, and then run to the store.

Pushing open the garage door to the house, I left it open so Toby could follow me. “Did the pools get taken care of?”

“Yep. Guy came early yesterday when I was waiting for the furniture guys. He set everything up. You’re good to go, man.” Toby followed me into the house, still talking. “You tell Conrad yet?”

“Nope,” I answered, heading straight for my bedroom.

“Plannin’ to do that soon?”

“Maybe,” I offered. “But not today.”

“What can I do?” Toby asked as he followed me up the stairs.

“Load the truck up with the shit in the workout room, would ya?”

“Might’ve been nice for you to mention that when I was downstairs,” he grumbled as he turned back toward the stairs.

“Lazy ass,” I retorted, laughing.

Toby stopped with his hand on the top rail, grinning. “Hey, we still on for tomorrow?”

“Yep.” I knew he was talking about Leif. Toby and I had both gone to visit Leif every day since he’d been moved to a regular room. They had put him in ICU for two days, and even then, we’d managed to get in to see him. Once I’d found out about the closing date on the house, I had brought the subject up with Leif, trying to get a feel for whether or not he still wanted to move in. He’d assured me he did, and I had even stayed when he’d talked to his mother.

Tammy hadn’t been all that happy about the news, but she wasn’t against it either. I told her that she was welcome at the house anytime she wanted to stop by and check on him. Leif had delivered one of his
I-am-gonna-hurt-you
glares, but in the end, he and his mother had hugged, and he was set to move in when he was released tomorrow.

“Now get to work. We’ve got places to be.”

Toby saluted me before he jogged down the stairs. I opened my bedroom door and gave it one last once-over. Almost everything in there was mine, so this was going to take a while.

Two hours later, I was finished packing up my bedroom and the bathroom, and Toby had finished with the workout room. Pretty fucking sad that at twenty-five years old, it only took me that long to pack up everything I owned. Even worse was the house still looked the same as it had before I’d started.

Then again, the majority of my possessions were in the garage. The truck was full, both inside and out, and Toby had even filled the trunk of his car.

“Aaron and Garth are on the way. Garth said Sean and Dale are behind them.”

“Good deal. I’ll have Garth take the Ferrari,” I told Toby. Since I no longer had the Camaro, I didn’t need another body to take that car, so it would work out. “Did Sean and Dale by chance bring their trucks?”

“Yup,” Toby said as he made his way to the toolboxes and began loading up the tools that were strewn across the floor and the cabinets. “I told ’em we’ve got tools.”

As though they’d been summoned straight out of my thoughts, Aaron’s girlie little Honda pulled into the driveway behind Toby’s Camaro, and the rumble of diesel engines sounded from farther down the driveway. Garrett climbed out of the passenger seat of Aaron’s car, grinning. Who the hell knew what he was smiling about, but Aaron’s goofy smile matched, so I figured the two of them were figuring things out between them.

I did not need to know the details.

Sean backed his big-ass Ford into the garage bay where my Camaro previously had sat and hopped out of the truck. The cowboy hat sitting on top of his head made me laugh, but Sean was used to me giving him shit about being a redneck. I thought Toby was a country boy, but Sean made him look like a wannabe.

“What’s up, man? You finally blowin’ this joint?” Sean asked, clapping me on the back as he made his way over.

“Yep. Figured it was about time.”

“Leif told me all about it, man. Glad you’re gettin’ out.”

“How’s he doin’?” I asked, referring to Leif.

“Good. We stopped by on the way over here. He’s ready to get out of there, and he’s makin’ sure the nurses know it.”

“What’s up, little man?” Dale asked as he sauntered over, a smug smirk plastered on his face.

“Not much, old man,” I retorted. Dale was the oldest of the four Connelly brothers. He was thirty-four, and Sean came in second at thirty-one. Their mother had spaced out their births pretty well, and I always told them it was because she’d been scared shitless of making another one. Dale was the one who picked on me most, just like he did Leif. Although we were roughly the same height and weight, he still liked to refer to me as little. I’d always taken it in stride.

“Well, we better hop to it if we wanna get this done today,” Sean stated, making his way over to Toby, greeting him by pulling him into a headlock. That was a sight to see, because Toby wasn’t a little guy. Not by a long shot.