Chaos (5 page)

Sebastian

Self-control was something I had a hard time maintaining when I was around Payton. She stripped me bare with just a look, and I found it difficult to restrain my hunger for her. Even after all these weeks, being with her was a test of my willpower, had been since the first time I’d seen her in the driveway of my father’s house.

“Payton,” I growled as I led her toward the pool.

Somehow we had managed to lose our clothes, tossing them every which way while I continued to feed on her mouth, my hands caressing every inch of her. I backed down the steps into the water, pulling her with me until I was chest deep. At that point, I drew her closer, forcing her legs to wrap around my waist as I eased deeper into the water before backing her against the pool wall.

“I’m not sure I can be easy, Payton,” I warned her, aligning my erection with her entrance, barely stemming the urge to slam into her, to feel the tight fit of her around my dick.

Payton scraped her nails down my back, jerking me to her, effectively lodging the head of my cock in her tight entrance. “Oh, fuck,” I groaned.

“Not easy,” she said breathlessly, her mouth sliding over my neck, her teeth nipping, sending electric shards of pleasure through my nerve endings.

Holding her hips, allowing the water to carry most of her weight, I managed to bury myself deep inside her, our bodies pressed together from hip to chest. We were close, so very close. But still, it wasn’t enough, never enough. I didn’t pull out, just merely rocked my hips forward, driving myself into her before slowly pulling back, never enough to pull out. I continued the slow, gyrating movement until she was moaning, her fingernails digging into my back. I never wanted to stop. This was the perfect moment, right here, alone with Payton. As much time as I planned to spend in that pool, I knew that there would never be a moment that would measure up to this.

“Sebastian, I need…” Payton lifted her head, closing her eyes and looking skyward as she tried to increase the friction between our bodies. “I need more. Oh, yes.”

It’d been far too long since I’d been inside the heaven of Payton’s body, and quite frankly, I wasn’t sure how I was managing to hold myself together this long. She felt too damn good. The velvet grip of her body hugging my dick, the way her nails scored the skin of my shoulders, the look of sheer ecstasy on her beautiful face… I never wanted it to end.

But I could feel my release building, that ever-intensifying electric charge that started at the base of my spine and was climbing higher and higher until I knew I couldn’t contain it any longer.

I powered my hips against Payton’s, battling the opposing force of the water, keeping our bodies locked together to minimize the resistance. “I need you to come for me, Payton.”

Payton moaned. “Harder.”

I gave her what she wanted, and just when I thought I wouldn’t be able to hold back, her body tensed, gripping me, ripping my orgasm from me. I growled, the animalistic sound reverberating through the open pool area.

Several minutes passed, but I didn’t release Payton from my arms. I pulled out of her but didn’t move away, content to hold her right there.

“I’d say that was a hell of a way to christen the pool,” Payton whispered into my ear a short time later.

I smiled against her neck. “You think so?”

“Yep.”

“Well, we’ve got plenty more rooms to go,” I informed her.

Payton’s soft chuckle filled me with the tranquility I’d come to crave when she was around me.

After using the pool for its intended purpose — swimming, albeit naked — for another half hour, Payton and I finally made our way back into the main part of the house. I hadn’t unpacked my things, but most of the bathroom boxes had made their way to my bathroom. She got in the shower while I rummaged through one after another, trying to find shampoo and other necessities. After handing those off to her, I gave her a few minutes while I went in search of the clothes boxes, which I found downstairs in the living room. How the hell they’d ended up there, I had no idea.

I offered her a T-shirt and a towel before trading places with her. I showered off the chlorine and then joined her in the bedroom. She must’ve found the boxes with the linens, because the bed was made, complete with pillows.

Considering the time, we opted to call it a night, and for the first time in months, my brain shut off completely, and I managed to sleep without dreaming. It might not sound like much, but for me, it was something I’d definitely needed.

***

I woke alone in my bed the following morning. It took me several seconds to realize where I was, but after searching the room, trying to identify my surroundings, I fell back on my pillow and exhaled. Home. Payton wasn’t in bed, but I could hear music coming from somewhere else in the house, so I assumed she was roaming around somewhere.

I pulled on a pair of jeans and made my way downstairs. She was in the kitchen, standing at the stove, glaring at the pan in front of her.

“Morning,” I said, both greeting her and announcing my presence.

She turned to look at me, her eyebrows scrunched as though she was deep in thought.

“Something wrong?” I asked.

“Do you know how to make pancakes?” she asked.

I smiled.

“I do. Why? Is Toby coming over?”

Payton looked confused at first, but then her face softened and her shoulders relaxed. “Something like that.”

I still gave Toby a hard time about the first breakfast we’d had at Payton’s apartment. Turned out that Chloe’s Saturday morning ritual involved making pancakes, something Toby didn’t particularly care for. Although he’d forced them down until I’d called him on it. It still amused me the lengths the guy would go to for Chloe.

All of the ingredients were sitting on the counter, and the pan was on the stove, but that was about as far as Payton had gotten. I found it endearing that she was trying to cook breakfast for me, although it was clear she didn’t have a clue how to make that happen.

“Want my help?” I offered.

She nodded, her smile widening.

I backed her against the opposite counter, kissing her good morning as I lifted her up to sit on the granite top.

“I’m not sure how I’ll be able to cook from here,” she informed me, cupping my face when I released her mouth.

“You can supervise,” I told her, taking her in from head to toe. She was still wearing my T-shirt and nothing else. It was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.

“I think I can manage that,” she replied when my eyes returned to hers.

Cooking in my own kitchen with Payton sitting close by was another one of those moments that took me by surprise. It was so natural it almost felt as though we’d been doing it all of our lives. I found that was the case with a lot of what we did. Being with her just felt right. She made me whole, made me forget for a little while that I wasn’t, made it almost possible to believe my life hadn’t been ripped to shreds so many years ago.

Without my smile slipping, I managed to make the pancakes and deliver them to the table before waiting for Payton to join me. She went to the refrigerator and pulled out two glasses of orange juice that she had clearly placed in there earlier.

We ate while we discussed the plans for the day, what boxes we would work on unpacking, when Leif’s brothers would arrive with his things, when Leif would arrive. It was all normal Saturday morning stuff, but even I could sense that we were avoiding the deeper conversation. For the last two weeks, Payton had given me space, not questioning me in regard to the revelation I’d made about my father, but I knew she wasn’t going to be able to last much longer before her curiosity won out.

Although I didn’t want the topic to bring down the mood, I realized now was the perfect time to pick it back up.

“How’d it go at work this week?” I asked, not sure how to start.

Payton looked up from her plate, meeting my gaze. The humor that’d been reflected in her eyes just a few moments ago disappeared far too quickly for my peace of mind. She didn’t answer right away, choosing to move the rest of her pancake around in the syrup on her plate.

“Trevor started working there this week.”

I sat up straight, dropping my fork onto my plate, the metal against glass making a loud clatter. “What?”

Payton nodded, as though confirming that I’d heard her correctly. “Conrad brought him up to his office on Wednesday.”

“Why didn’t you say something before now?” I asked.

“What was I going to say, Sebastian? I knew that you would be upset and … well, I don’t particularly want to be the one to piss you off.”

She had a good point. I thrust both hands through my hair and held my head, staring at the wall across from me. After taking a deep breath, I lowered my arms to the table. “Did he say anything to you?”

“Who? Trevor? Or Conrad?”

I lifted an eyebrow, my only response.

Payton sighed. “After he met with Conrad, Trevor came out of your father’s office and tried to talk to me. I pretended to be on the phone. Unfortunately, he waited, and I couldn’t pretend for long. He told me that he looked forward to working with me. I asked him what he’d be doing because I doubted I would see him much, and he told me he was going to take over some of the upcoming projects.”

“The prototype,” I mumbled. “Conrad brought Trevor in to replace me.” Why that made me smile, I had no idea, but I could see Payton’s confusion, so I explained. “It looks like my father was either expecting me to leave or he was going to send me packing. Either way, it all falls in line with my plans.”

“What does that mean?” she asked, gently laying her fork on her plate and turning toward me.

“It means that things are working themselves out,” I told her. The conversation had already derailed from my original intent, and I didn’t want to keep it going in the opposite direction.

Payton looked around the kitchen briefly before meeting my eyes once more. “Is that what this is? You’re making a clean break?”

“Something like that,” I admitted softly. “Look, Payton,” I began, wanting to explain to her just why I felt the need to get away from him. Before I could get the rest of the words out, she stood. I thought for a moment that she was going to walk away from me, refusing to hear what I had to say. She surprised me when she came to stand in front of me.

I turned sideways in my chair, and she lowered herself to my knee, cupping my face in her hands. “You don’t have to explain to me why you’re doing this. I get it. I might not understand everything, but I get this.”

“You’re not mad?” I asked, surprised.

“No. I’m a little relieved, actually. I hate how Conrad treats you. It bothers me more than I can let on. I can’t say that, over the course of the last two weeks, I haven’t considered walking out on my job and never coming back.”

“That’s always an option,” I said quickly.

Payton squeezed my face gently. “No, it’s not. Not until we get some answers. And we
are
going to get some answers.”

Relieved that she wasn’t pissed and that she understood my reasoning, I cupped her face in my hands, sliding my thumbs over her cheeks before pulling her closer to me. I pressed my lips to hers gently, then more insistently.

I wanted to tell her so many things, starting with the fact that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but I knew now wasn’t the time. There were too many things going on, too many answers I still needed before I could ever expect anyone to want to spend their life with me and the chaos that my life entailed. But after this conversation, I had no doubt that if ever there was a woman who could handle me, Payton was that woman.

And I had every intention of making sure she knew just how much she meant to me. For the rest of my life.

Payton

When I told Sebastian about Trevor, I had been nervous about how he would respond. That was the main reason I hadn’t told him the day that it’d happened. His initial reaction hadn’t been far off the mark of my expectations. He was pissed. I knew he was. I couldn’t say that I had been excited to see Trevor standing in front of my desk that day, either. The guy gave me the creeps, and I wasn’t quite sure why that was.

At first, I thought maybe I was judging him based on what Sebastian had told me about his mother. Yes, admittedly, I was grasping at every possible answer to what Sebastian suspected. Had Conrad had something to do with Sebastian’s mother’s death? Or possibly Lauren? What if Lauren had paid Trevor to do the dirty work? The last thought had given me pause, so I had done a little digging.

So maybe I’d been watching too many crime shows on television, but my brain had linked all of the possibilities together until I had convinced myself that was the only answer. Then again, I wasn’t particularly fond of Trevor, so it was possible I was coming up with anything to explain the strange reaction I had to him.

Sure, as I had rummaged through the electronic files on my computer, I’d known that I could probably lose my job if Conrad found out that I’d done some digging into personnel files, but I’d been so consumed by the possibility I hadn’t thought about the consequences until after I’d pulled up the employee file for Trevor Lowell Webster.

What I’d found didn’t tell me a lot. As it turned out, most of his application had been left blank, but I was able to get his birth date. Not that I was relieved in the least. Trevor was older than I’d thought. After meeting him in Vegas, I had been under the impression he was closer to my age. That wasn’t the case. He was thirty-two years old — seven years older than Sebastian — which would’ve made him twenty-one at the time of Sebastian’s mother’s death.

The guy had creeped me out from the get-go, but now… Now I would pretty much do anything to avoid being anywhere near him. What I hadn’t bothered to tell Sebastian was that since that first day that I’d seen Trevor in Conrad’s office, he had waited for me to get off work. Every day. Although I refused his offer, he insisted on walking me to my car. Every freaking day.

I knew that was information Sebastian would want to have, but I feared what he would do if he found out that Trevor had taken to stalking me. There was so much going on right now, with the accident, Sebastian moving, and now Leif coming home, I really didn’t want to put Sebastian back on edge. We would figure this out, I knew we would. And in the meantime, whenever Trevor was around, I would be extremely cautious.

“I was thinking we could have dinner with my parents on Monday night,” I told Sebastian now, still sitting on his lap.

“Monday works,” he said, a smile tipping the very corners of his mouth.

“I tried for tomorrow, but they’ve got something to take care of.”

“I’m not arguing, Payton,” Sebastian said firmly. “I’m looking forward to meeting them. The day doesn’t matter to me.”

I don’t know why I felt compelled to explain myself. I guess I was just nervous about the entire thing. What would they think of Sebastian? What would Sebastian think of them? Like I said, I’d never done this before. Cupping his face, I decided to tell him as much. When I finished the statement, his eyes widened, and the small smile that had formed when I changed the subject only grew wider.

“Never?” he asked. “You’ve never brought a guy home to meet your parents?”

“Not unless Aaron counts. He was my prom date.”

Sebastian’s smile lit up his eyes, and I liked that he was happy about the news.

“Well, if I have anything to say about it, I’ll be the only guy you ever bring home to meet your parents.”

I liked the sound of that more than I could admit. And just to make sure he didn’t see the tears that formed in my eyes, I pressed my lips to his. And I didn’t release him until I managed to get them under control. By then, something else was completely out of control.

But that feeling I’d grown accustomed to.

The morning flew by faster than I’d anticipated, but mainly because Sebastian had insisted that we go shopping while we waited for the others to arrive to deliver Leif’s stuff.
We
being him and me. He gave me an excuse that he needed to pick up a few things that I had forgotten at the store yesterday. As it turned out, that excuse had been bogus.

I should’ve figured that out in the beginning, though, because I had spent over one thousand freaking dollars. I still couldn’t believe it’d cost that much, but I had stopped apologizing for it after Sebastian had scolded me the night before. Although I’d conceded, I knew deep down that I’d never let that happen again, no matter if he said it was okay or not.

As it turned out, I hadn’t forgotten anything that
he
needed yesterday. What he wanted to pick up was for me. A toothbrush, shampoo, conditioner, body wash … all of the necessary essentials for me to stay over at his house without the need to bring anything. He even attempted to buy me clothes, but I drew the line there, informing him that if he was serious, I would bring over a couple of pairs of my own clothes to leave there. I didn’t need anything new. However, since I didn’t keep spare toothbrushes or other bathroom items at my apartment, I allowed him to buy them for me. It seemed to make him happy. Why, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t question it.

The fact that Sebastian wanted me to feel at home at his place warmed my heart in ways I never expected. Not that it didn’t feel a little overwhelming, but not any more than the feelings I had developed for him. For the last week, while I lay in bed at night alone, I would think about those particular feelings, trying to dissect them, understand what they were composed of. Did I really love Sebastian? Or was I trying to save him? And if the latter was in fact true, what was I trying to save him from? A legitimate evil? Or himself?

Unfortunately, I could only come up with questions, no answers. I was afraid to talk to Aaron or Chloe about my feelings for fear that they would warn me away from Sebastian. Regardless of what my emotions were comprised of, I still loved Sebastian. That was a fact.

And I considered myself strong enough to make the right decisions. I’d never been the type of girl to lean on a man or to try to find a sense of my own worth from the kindness bestowed upon me by the opposite sex. I didn’t need that to make me feel good about myself.

It all boiled down to the fact that I had never been in love before. And what I felt for Sebastian was far stronger than anything I had ever expected to feel for anyone.

Now, as I sat on the couch in Sebastian’s living room, watching people move about — Sean, Dale, and Sebastian unloading the trucks that contained Leif’s personal belongings, Chloe and Aaron making dinner after the guys had grumbled that they were going to be starving after the move, and Toby and Garrett getting Leif situated in the recliner in front of the television — I realized I was exactly where I wanted to be. In a weird way, Sebastian’s new place felt like home to me.

Then again, that could’ve very well been because Sebastian was there. I’d noticed that I felt at home no matter where we were, as long as we were together.

Pushing up off the couch, I approached Leif when Garrett and Toby finally gave him a breather. They’d been fussing over him from the minute they’d brought him in the house, asking him if he needed something to eat or drink, did he want to watch television, was he warm enough? They’d supplied an endless barrage of questions, and I could see the relief on Leif’s face now that they were walking away.

“How are you doing?” I asked softly, glancing over at the two men as they made their way to the kitchen.

“Kinda feel like someone’s getting ready to change my diaper or some shit.”

I smiled at Leif. “That bad, huh?”

Leif leaned toward me and lowered his voice. “Would you do me a favor?”

I squatted down beside his chair, stabilizing myself by holding on to the arm. “What’s that?” I asked, just as quietly.

“Could you maybe drop a few hints that my legs aren’t broken, I’ve got full use of my arms, and, if all else fails, my mouth still works, so I could always ask for something if I need it?”

“I can do that,” I told Leif, loving that his sense of humor was still intact. “Give it a day or two. They’ll be giving you shit for not helping out around here. Then they’ll bitch about having to move all your furniture without your help.”

Leif laughed, holding his ribs as he did. “Don’t make me laugh. It still hurts.”

“Sorry,” I said, grinning. “But if it’s any consolation, we really are glad you’re home.”

“Me, too. If I never see the inside of a hospital again, it’ll be too soon.”

I stared at Leif for a moment. There’d been one thing on my mind for the last couple of weeks, but I had never managed to force out the question. Now that Leif was home and hopefully the horrors of the crash had abated somewhat, I found myself needing to ask.

“Can I ask you something?”

“As long as it doesn’t involve you getting me something, then sure,” Leif said, his dark eyes locking with mine.

“Why did you take Sebastian’s car that night? For the race?”

Leif didn’t answer me right away, his attention turning to the raised voices in the hallway. When he turned back to me, he looked as though he was choked by emotion. “I’d been having issues with my brakes for a while. I needed to get ’em replaced but hadn’t done it. I wanted in the race but didn’t figure the car would handle well, so when I stopped by to talk to Sebastian, I noticed he’d left the Camaro. So I took it.”

Leif sat motionless for a moment, but then he continued.

“If I’d driven my Mustang, I’d be dead right now. The doctors told me that the roll cage saved my life.”

Payton remembered that Garrett had mentioned the same thing.

Leif looked right at me. “Did Sebastian tell you that he had a dream that the Camaro exploded during a race?”

I narrowed my eyes on him. “No, he didn’t.”

“Yeah,” Leif said, exhaling slowly. “Turns out that was why he didn’t take the Camaro. He thought he’d avoid disaster if he didn’t drive it. Apparently he’d had the dream more than once.”

Holy crap.

Sebastian hadn’t shared that little bit of information with me, but now that I thought about it, it explained why Sebastian had been trying to assume the blame for Leif’s accident.

But it was just that … an accident. It was unfortunate, but Sebastian was no more to blame than Leif was.

“I don’t even know what to say to that,” I told Leif.

“Nothing to say. I’m alive and breathing. That’s all that matters.”

That was true. Having Leif home was all that mattered. I snagged the remote from the coffee table and handed it to Leif. “If you do need anything, just yell. I’ll make sure someone comes running.”

Leif nodded, looking down at the remote briefly. When his eyes slid back to mine, I saw a question reflected there.

Pushing him to open up wasn’t going to do any good. I’d learned that from Sebastian, so I just sat there, willing my legs not to go to sleep beneath me.

“Have you … uh…” Leif glanced over at the kitchen before returning his attention to me. “Has anyone talked to Aaliyah?” Leif’s eyes bored into me as though he was trying to figure out whether my answer would be a lie or not.

I had no reason to lie to him. “I tried calling her right after the accident. I left her a message to call me, but I didn’t tell her what it was about.” It was my turn to glance back to see if anyone was listening. When I noticed no one else was in the room, I lowered my voice and said, “I don’t think she ever got that message, Leif.”

His dark eyebrow lifted slightly. I didn’t break the eye contact, willing him to think about what I’d just said. His eyes darted back to the remote briefly but then back to my face. A subtle nod was all I got in response.

I knew that Sebastian hadn’t told Toby or Leif his suspicions about his father, but he would eventually have to. Especially if there was any chance that we were going to figure out just what had happened to Sebastian’s mother. If Conrad was somehow responsible — I still shuddered at the thought — then we were going to need all the help we could get. And being that Leif’s mother’s boyfriend just happened to be a detective, I fully intended to encourage Sebastian to open up to his best friends soon.

Patting Leif’s hand, I pushed to my feet and forced a smile. “If you need anything, just let me know.”

“Thanks, Payton.”

Heading to the kitchen, I glanced back at Leif once more. I knew Sebastian and I had agreed to leave Aaliyah out of this for the time being, but I truly believed it was time for her to know. She was probably going to be pissed, because despite what might’ve happened between them in Vegas, I knew without a doubt that Aaliyah cared about Leif.

The question was, who was trying to keep Aaliyah away from him?

And why?