Chapter and Verse (11 page)

He was at my side in an instant, shooting daggers that were hard to deflect.  I screwed up big time and I knew it.  All I could do was try to repair the damage and save him the effort.  Something told me that no matter how much denial he threw out there, they’d believe me instead of him.  They had their grandchild antennae up and I was their walking vessel.

I cleared my throat and bumped my shoulder against Deacon’s in a playful manner.  I could tell it took him off guard and whatever he was getting ready to say, froze on his lips.  He was giving me one chance to make this right and if I wanted to keep my friend, I knew I’d better not blow it.

“
Grant, Bree, I’m sorry for that.  I know I gave you the wrong impression but sometimes I can’t help pushing Deke’s buttons.  He’s so easy once you know him.  I’m Dorothy Lincoln and I’m writing his biography.  I’m here to hopefully ask you two some questions about his childhood, for the book.  He and I have become good friends, practically best friends actually, and sometimes I can’t help myself.  Please accept my apologies.”

Their smiles didn’t falter for a second and there I was, nervous once again.  I looked up at Deacon who was standing close enough to touch, and he was smiling as well.  I guess my attempt wasn’t lost on him and his eyes told me that I was forgiven.  He draped his arm around my shoulder, shocking me, and I couldn’t tell if he was getting even or just being Deacon.  It could be either.

“
Dad, she’s a pistol and you have to get used to her sense of humor.  She’s a great girl though, you’re right about that.  Just answer anything she asks honestly.  Dor’ can be trusted, she’s practically family.”

Wow.  Practically family.  The words hung in the air like pleasant Spring fog and I took them for the compliment they were meant to be.  I smiled up at Deke and he smiled back.  Wrong move.  I heard his mother sigh and Deacon closed his eyes.  I stifled a giggle and remembered my sister.

“
Where are my manners?  Grant, Bree, Anton, Pierce, this is my sister Melody.  Mel’ for short.  She’s a fashion designer and one of my closest friends as well.  She was free this weekend and I thought time away would do her some good.”

Melody smiled at everyone, but her eyes lingered on Pierce while Anton’s eyes roamed her perfect form.  Poor Pierce looked like that flailing swimmer in that shark movie.  He was caught and she wasn’t letting go.  Strange that.  I would have bet my imaginary farm that she would have latched on to Anton.

Grant hugged her next and she responded warmly, but I was silently glad that the hug he gave her was nothing like the hug he gave me.  I, was practically family and I thought I felt my ovaries twitch at the thought.  This family obviously had exceptional genes and I could do worse.  Wait.  What the hell I was I thinking?  Deke was practically my brother.  My compadre.  My buddy.  Would it be like kissing my first cousin?  There.  That did it.  My hormones leveled out nicely at that thought and I fought a shiver of disgust.

Deacon still had his arm around my shoulder when he led us to the kitchen table.  He pulled my chair out and Anton rushed to do the same for Mel’.  She smiled at him and Anton started to do that blinking thing that I’ve perfected over a lifetime.  Holy catnip.  Anton was smitten with Melody.  Man was I gonna have some fun with THIS over the weekend.  Pierce slid into the chair on the other side of me, and I shoulder bumped him and smiled.  Our shy Pierce grinned, blushed and bumped me back.  This did not go unnoticed by the masses.

Bree sighed again and smiled, obviously thrilled to have a little more estrogen in the room.  Grant was rolling up his sleeves as he joined her in the kitchen.  She was kneading dough of some kind and he began to wash his hands.  Bree’s eyes flitted over the five of us at the table and I could tell she was thinking about future Christmas’ and Christenings.  My mom had nothing on Bree Sloan.  When she spoke, it was as enchanting as silver bells.

“
I’m so glad that the two of you could join us.  I can tell we’re going to have a wonderful weekend.  I hope you girls like Pictionary and Charades.  It’s our normal Friday night fare around here when the boys come home.  We make homemade pizza and ice cream and catch up over dinner, then I kick their asses at game time.”

I think I swallowed my tongue.  Bree Sloan just said, “kick their asses”.  I couldn’t have been more shocked if the phrase had been uttered by a priest at Sunday mass.  Anton caught my expression and started laughing again.  He elbowed my sister and tipped his head in my direction.  My expression must have been priceless because Melody began cackling so hard she threw in a few snorts as well.  This got Pierce laughing and I could feel the blush creeping up my neck.

I glanced at Deacon who was fighting it as hard as he could.  The man scored a few brownie points, but I could see the laughter close to the surface, threatening to explode at any moment.  I leaned over and whispered so that only he could hear.

“
So help me god Deke, if you laugh, I’ll kiss you right here in front of everyone and not even bat an eye while I do it.  Your folks will be buying the home pregnancy test and picking out the nursery colors.  You know me.  I’ll do it.”

Deacon leaned back and looked at me in amusement.  Uh-oh.  That threat was designed to make him quiver in his boots not look at me as if to say, “I dare ya’.”  The asshat didn’t think I’d do it.  I wasn’t sure I’d do it, but he didn’t believe it at all.

I had a theory about that.  As close as we were, I’d never shown my daring side yet.  My sister knew it was there, she saw it in full force when I shot down Hamm.  I would never pass up a dare, and our relationship was still so new, Deacon didn’t know that about me.  That had to be the only explanation there was.  Why else would he turn the torpedoes on his own boat?  He did not think I would do it.

Just as I was thinking about letting this one slide, he did the unthinkable.  He leaned over and whispered, “I fucking dare you.”

Well hell, that was all I needed to hear.  Dare me?  He DARED me?  To a Lincoln, those were fighting words.  I have a theory that says Abraham Lincoln himself only started the Civil War because some general leaned over and said, “I dare you”.  I can’t prove that of course, but in my heart I know it’s true.

I did the only thing I could do.  I rested my palm on his cheek, smiled sweetly and pressed my lips to his.

You know how in those racy romance novels they always say something about an “electrical charge” passed through them at the first touch or the first kiss?  I never bought that for a second.  That’s one of the reasons I stopped reading those as a matter of fact.  It stank of bullshit to me.  I’ve kissed my share of guys and I figured I would know if that actually happened.  Apparently, I never kissed the right guy.

My eyes flew open and I was staring into Deacon’s.  His were growing darker by the second and then he closed them again.  He groaned and I could feel it all the way to my toes.  His tongue touched my bottom lip and I whimpered, but I didn’t pull back.  That little electrical current turned into a transformer exploding and I could not have pulled back if a team of Clydesdales had been tugging at me.  It turned out I didn’t have to.  Neither one of us were aware of our surroundings until Anton spoke up in a teasing voice.

“
Just friends huh?  Yeah.  Right.  I knew it.”

Deacon jerked away from me so fast, it was if he’d discovered I had untreated herpes.  No one was laughing any longer.  All eyes were glued to us and my eyes were glued to Deacon’s.  That’s when I saw it.  I’d crossed the line.  My smart mouth had gotten me into a lot of situations, but this was by far the worst.  I watched as the walls came up and he shut down.  The distance between us could not have been greater if he were in L.A. and I were still in Manhattan.  I’d lost my best friend and I felt something heavy in my chest that I couldn’t identify yet, but I knew I’d have plenty of time to identify it later.  Deacon was lost to me.

I cleared my throat and looked at the group that had been shocked into silence as they contemplated what they were seeing.  I could tell that they still hadn’t formed a conclusion, so I jumped to try and salvage the situation.

“
It was nothing.  We ARE just friends.  I told him if he laughed I would embarrass the hell out of him by kissing him, and he dared me.  That’s all it was.  Everybody stand down.”

That seemed to settle everyone down and they continued talking, laughing, and kneading.  It didn’t matter.  The damage was done.  I could tell by the frost that was forming on the left side of my body where my ex-best friend was sitting.  I knew if I looked at him, that heavy feeling would turn into the Rock of Gibraltar, so I didn’t bother.  My fragile mind wouldn’t allow it.  I needed Deacon.  I’d never thought about it before because he was always there.  His friendship meant the world to me and I’d lost it.  I’d thrown it away on a stupid whim and I couldn’t take it back.  I did the only thing I could do given the circumstance.

I was so close to crying tears of frustration, I had to leave the room.  I had no choice.  If I stayed, they’d all see it and go back to their assumptions.  That would do neither one of us any good.  I also knew, because I knew him, that he needed to be away from me.  He couldn’t stand the proximity and I didn’t blame him.  I turned to Pierce with my request, giving Deacon his needed space.

“
Pierce, could you show me where Mel’ and I will be sleeping?  I’d like to get settled and then take a look around.”

I will believe until the day that I die that Pierce Sloan is the sweetest, most considerate man I have ever met.  He didn’t even hesitate.  He read my face and understood immediately.

“
Of course.  That should have been the first order of business after introductions.  Follow me Sis’, you’re right at the top of the stairs.”

I avoided touching or brushing against Deacon as I stood and there was no way I could look at him.  The ice in his eyes would kill me until I could buck up and put a bandaid on my shattered ego.  The falling apart would come, but I’d stomp it down until I got home.  Then I’d fall apart in grand fashion.  Doing it here would give everyone the wrong idea.  I was not going to mourn a lost love because we were never that.  I would mourn something much worse.  I’d mourn the loss of the the closest friend I ever had.  That pain would go bone deep and I knew the mourning would take a lot longer.

Pierce put his hand on my lower back and led me from the room, back toward the staircase.  He picked up the two suitcases that were obviously not Deacon’s, and started up the stairs.  I followed obediently, not saying a word.  What could I say?  He’d witnessed the whole thing.  God only knows what he was thinking.

He stopped at the first door on the right and I turned the knob.  He carried our bags inside and placed them carefully on the foot of the queen sized bed covered by a handmade quilt.  Could this house BE any more perfect?

He turned to leave me alone and thought better of it.  He took me in his arms and enveloped me in a comforting hug.  I never realized how big Pierce was.  He was every bit as solid as Deacon and after the chill I’d experienced downstairs, I melted into him, my face resting against his chest.

I probably would have been okay if he hadn’t started stroking my hair.  He kissed the top of my head and said in a low voice, “It’s okay Dor’.  You’ll see.  He’s shocked but he’ll get over it.”

He meant it sincerely, I could tell that by his voice inflection.  But I knew better.  This would never be “okay”.  Not in a million years, not with a million apologies.  With that realization, the dam broke.  It probably wouldn’t have happened had it been Anton that was offering me comfort, but it wasn’t.  It was sweet, sincere Pierce.

I was sobbing so loudly, I didn’t feel the movement until I heard the bedroom door close.  He was protecting me by giving me privacy.  I could not have loved this guy more if I tried.  Why wasn’t Pierce MY brother?  Why couldn’t he have been the one to capture “best friend” status?  I knew why.  He simply wasn’t Deacon.

“
Cry it out Dor’.  You’ll feel better.  My brother can be full of himself sometimes, but we all know how much he likes you.  You’ve changed him.  He’s even happier at work since you came along.  He needs your friendship just as much as you need his, Dorothy.  Maybe more.  Have faith in him.  He’ll come around.”

His soothing words only made it worse.  He hadn’t felt the change like I had.  He hadn’t seen Deacon’s eyes when he shut me out once and for all.  It was worse than going back to square one.  We weren’t strangers anymore.  He’d been betrayed by his closest friend, it was written all over his face.  He’d never trust me with his laughter, his dimples, or his secrets again.  From now until the book was published, it would be strictly business and that’s the moment I recognized the weight for what it was.  This was what if felt like when your heart was truly broken.  The fissure was real and it was deep.  This might not kill me, but it would surely change me and maybe not for the better.  I hadn’t realized how lonely I was before Deacon shed light on it.  Now the light was gone and the darkness that surrounded me was ominous and stifling.  It scared me because he’d already changed me.  He’d taken the non-trusting reclusive in me and turned her into someone lighthearted and willing to try.  He’d given me hope that there might be someone out there for me after all.  Now I couldn’t help but think that if my best friend didn’t even think I was worthy of the effort, why would anyone else?  My hope had vanished into thin air.  I never thought about loneliness as an affliction before but I felt crippled by it now.