Chapter and Verse (12 page)

I continued to cry, the flood of tears soaking Pierce’s shirt.  He’d have to change before he went back downstairs, but he didn’t seem to mind.  He continued to hold me and stroke my hair much as a parent might comfort a child.  A memory popped into my head (damn that total recall) and I leaned back to look at him before I voiced it.  The sympathy in his eyes almost undid me.  In a trembling voice I didn’t recognize as my own, I barely got the words out between the sobs.

“
Miranda said he would break my heart.  She warned me Pierce and I should’ve listened.  I didn’t take her seriously because she’s hung up on him and he and I were only friends.  I should have listened to her.  I had no clue I’d given him this much power.  This much importance.  I had no...clue...”

I had another meltdown and Pierce held me tighter.

I have no idea how long we stood like that or what the others might be thinking.  I didn’t care.  Pierce was exactly what I needed and I wasn’t ashamed to admit that.  I held on for dear life and he let me.  I knew he was Deacon’s brother and if push came to shove, he’d have to pony up and be a Sloan.  I understood family loyalty.  I did.  It didn’t matter.  For that brief passage of time, I felt like his loyalty belonged to me.

An hour later, Melody waltzed in and plopped down on the bed next to me.  Pierce was long gone, but he’d offered to stay.  I’d declined his offer because I couldn’t bring myself to cross another line and ramp up speculation of another kind.  Pierce was too kind and I couldn’t take advantage.

“
You look like shit.”

I turned my head from the window and looked at her.  I was stretched out on the bed on my stomach, in no mood for her cheerfulness.

“
Thanks.  I needed that extra kick.  Why don’t you go ahead and take a headshot?  It’ll be quicker.”

Mel’ was many things, sarcastic, selfish, and even cruel sometimes.  She was also my sister and she loved me.  She chose her moments to take a jab, but she never intentionally hurt me.  This was one of those times when she could have and didn’t.  I appreciated that.

She began to gently stroke my back from her sitting position near my hips.

“
I’m sorry Dor’.  I know how close you are to him and I can tell you’re hurting.  I can tell you that he’s just as upset as you are.”

Deacon was upset?  She must have seen the hope in my eyes and she took a step back, I could tell.  Hope?  It vanished.

“
He hasn’t said more than three words since you left the room.”

“
That’s cause he’s pissed.  I killed our friendship Mel’.  I may as well start digging the hole for burial because it’ll never be resurrected.”

“
Don’t say that!  You don’t know what will happen once he calms down.  You surprised him, that’s all.  Quit being a drama queen!  Dorothy, you’ve barely known the guy two months.  I know you were close and you probably still are.  Neither one of you can unlearn the things you know about one another.  When you first met, what did he assume?  He assumed you’d fall in love with him.  When that didn’t happened, he relaxed and got into it.  Why would he think you’re suddenly head over heels  because of one simple kiss?  If you hadn’t done it then, one of you would’ve done it later.  Big deal.  It’s only bad because you weren’t in private when it happened.  This.  Will.  Pass.  Trust me.”

I wanted to trust her so badly, my head was spinning.  No matter what I wanted though, I knew the truth.  She didn’t.  I could not have betrayed him more if I’d started the rumor that he was a serial killer.  Still, I made a half-hearted attempt at a smile for my sister’s sake.  God bless her, she was trying and I couldn’t spend the weekend in our room.  I still had a biography to write.  After that, Deacon Sloan would be free of me and any thoughts of me.  I could give him that, and I would.  It was the least I could do.

I sat up and took stock of my situation.  I needed to change clothes, splash some cold water on my face, and slap on some makeup to hide the red eyes.  I’d make the best of a bad situation.  I had to.  Mel’ smiled and left me to it, reminding me that lunch was in twenty minutes.

I was standing in the hall bathroom (the only bathroom on the second floor) applying mascara when I heard a soft knock on the bathroom door.  Assuming it was Melody there to tell me to get my ass in gear, I mumbled, “Come in”.

The door opened and the man himself filled the doorway.  He leaned casually against the door frame and crossed his arms in front of him.  I was no Psych major, but even I knew a closed off stance when I saw one.  He didn’t smile and I didn’t either.  He didn’t look angry or annoyed, it was worse.  He looked like he didn’t care at all.

“
Mom sent me up to see if you were still coming down.  Pierce told her you had a raging headache and he wasn’t sure.  Rallying the troops already, eh?”

I spun around and stared him down.

“
What’s that supposed to mean?”

“
You grabbed the most sympathetic ear you could find and it happened to be Pierce’s.  You know he likes you and always has.  You couldn’t have picked a better ally.”

If he was trying to hurt me, he was very good.  Every comment struck like a dagger but I refused to let him see me cry.  We were no longer close enough for that, I do not cry in front of business associates.  Very few people are privileged enough to see me vulnerable.  Deacon Sloan had made the decision to step out of that inner circle.

“
For your information, Pierce has made no judgement calls against me.  Given the circumstances, I find that baffling.  He barely knows me, but he knows me well enough to know my intentions were innocent.”

I turned around to once again face the mirror and screwed the mascara wand back in the tube.  I couldn’t look at him when I delivered my next blow.

“
It’s baffling, Deacon, because the one person that knows me better than anyone, the one person I was beginning to trust above all others, was the first person to assume the worst.  You were the first person to desert me.”

My eyes found his in the mirror and the ice in his didn’t have the same effect on me as it did earlier.  Maybe my walls were up again as well.

“
Your friendship meant a lot to me Deke.  I put a lot of faith in you and you broke my heart.  Miranda said you would and you did.  I thought I knew you better than that, but I guess I didn’t.  You can go now, I’ll be down in a minute.”

He didn’t budge.  He studied me instead.  I grabbed my makeup bag off the counter and made a move to pass him.  He stepped back from the door, but he followed me the short distance to my room.

“
Miranda told you I’d break your heart?  When did she say this?”

I could not or would not get into this with him.  It didn’t matter anymore.

“
Who cares?  She warned me that I was nothing to you and that you’d break my heart.  She was right.  That’s enough.  I’ll send her flowers and a note of congratulations on Monday.  End of story.”

I moved to pass him, finally ready to face his family.  He grabbed my arm and spun me around.

“
It most certainly is NOT the end of the story.  Why would she say that to you Dorothy?”

It was my turn to cross my arms and jerk away from his touch.

“
She was convinced we were more than just friends.  She was jealous and took a dig.  I set her straight and I thought she believed me.  She may or may not have.  What does it matter now?  You’ve obviously proven her point.  Let me pass Deacon, this conversation is over.”

He ran his hand through his hair, turmoil written all over him.  I couldn’t spare the sympathy, I had first hand knowledge of where that would get me.  He was looking at the floor when he spoke again.

“
You kissed me.”

“
You dared me to.”

That was absolutely the wrong thing to say and I couldn’t take it back.  His head flew up and I had to take a step back from the expression on his face.

“
If I’d dare you to fuck me senseless, would you have done that too?”

Emotions were running high on both sides, but one thing I would not tolerate was crude assumptions about my character.  He knew me better than that.  My hand was flying before I even knew it had left my side.  The slap was loud and his head moved with the contact.  If that hadn’t shocked him, the venom in my voice surely did.

“
Don’t you EVER speak to me like that again.  I have better taste than to waste my time with someone like you.  Any woman with a pair of tits and a giggle can have you for the asking.  Why in the hell would I want to join their ranks?”

I ran my eyes up and down his body for effect.

“
I can do so much better.”

I walked past him but I still heard his reply.

“
The three you’ve allowed in your bed so far must have been quite impressive.  No wait.  They didn’t stick around, did they?  Maybe they’re the ones that could do so much better.”

I all but ran down the stairs and plastered my phoney business smile on my face when I entered the kitchen.  I grabbed the chair between Pierce and Anton to avoid being trapped next to Deacon.  Bree put a large bowl of chicken salad on the table along with two loaves of homemade bread and a bread knife.  Cole slaw and potato chips came next as well as one pitcher of iced tea and one of lemonade.  It was a perfect lunch and one I would barely touch.  For the next hour, I never once looked at Deacon.  Not once.

Melody and I insisted on cleaning up after and Bree accepted graciously after explaining she needed to find the ice cream churn.  Ice cream churn?  What the hell was that?  Didn’t they know about Baskin Robbins?  When in Rome...

Mel’ was smart enough not to bring up the subject that had become off limits, and all of the Sloan men were together out back doing something.  Didn’t know, didn’t care.  Deacon wasn’t around me and for that, I was grateful.  I was busy reinforcing my walls brick by brick.  The Deacon Sloan experience was one I would never repeat.

When all of the dishes were washed, dried, and put away, Melody went in search of Pierce and I ambled onto the back porch.  Grant sat in a rocking chair, calmly rocking.  He smiled when he saw me and gestured for the rocker next to his own.  Without asking, he leaned forward and poured me a glass of lemonade as if waiting for my appearance.  I thanked him and took a seat.

I looked out over his land and saw a barn at the end of a well worn path in the distance.  Next to the barn were about a dozen beehives in boxes painted bright white.  The lowing of cows could be heard and I assumed they were occupying the barn.

My companion took a sip from his glass and gestured towards the barn.

“
Ever milked a cow?”

I took my own sip and started to rock, content with the company and the solitude of my surroundings.

“
Can’t say that I have.”

“
Want to give it a try?”

I looked at him and he was smiling back at me.

“
I’d love to.”

Then a thought occurred to me.  What if Deacon and his brothers were in the barn?  Grant saw my concern and addressed it without being intrusive.

“
The boys and your sister ran into town to grab a few things for Bree.  They’ll be gone an hour or so.  It’s just you, me and Bree.  She’s putting in a load of laundry.  Come on.  I think you’ll enjoy it.”

I thought so too and followed him off the porch.

He didn’t say anything on the way to the barn and I didn’t know what to say myself.  I’d made a fool out of myself and probably ruined their lovely family weekend.  I needed to apologize, but I didn’t know how.

He stopped in front of the barn door and turned to me.

“
The first time I knew that Deacon would be something special, he was ten years old.”

He opened the barn door and I followed him inside.  It smelled of fresh hay and animals, a not unpleasant scent.  The barn was as neat as a pin.  I counted ten open stalls, a cow waiting impatiently in each one.  Grant opened a metal bin and took out two pristine looking metal buckets.  He handed one bucket and a short wooden stool to me, and he picked up the same for himself.  I followed blindly as he walked to the farthest stall.

“
One summer it was hotter than a firecracker and Deacon decided that he wanted to try his hand at a lemonade stand.  He planned it a week in advance.  He set Anton to work on signs and placement, and he put Pierce in charge of figuring out how to make decent lemonade in large quantities.  He worked out the cost himself.”

He looked at me and grinned.  I knew that wasn’t the end of the story.

“
Look around you Dor’.  You’re a bright girl.  We live in the country.  Sure we get some traffic, but not much.  Bree and I both thought they wouldn’t make a quarter between them, but it kept them busy and with three preteen boys, you take all the quiet moments you can get.”

He sat down close to the hind quarter of the cow and placed his bucket beneath her udders.  He patted her side and she lowed in response.  He gently put his head against her body and reached down.  I heard the rhythmic sound of the milk hitting the metal and I watched closely.  I knew he was demonstrating technique and he didn’t know I was a natural student.

“
The three of them built the stand three days before the sale was to begin and Deacon actually called a staff meeting.  Bree and I laughed our asses off, but they took it very seriously.  Deacon was determined to succeed.”

I fell into the story that I was filing away for the book.

“
Did he?  Succeed I mean.”

“
Saturday morning came and there were cars and kids lined up for half a mile.  I don’t know what they promised, but they must have delivered.  Anton ran solo cups of lemonade to waiting cars and collected the money.  Pierce made sure the lemonade cooler stayed full and cold.  Deacon kept count and directed everyone.  He was a natural.  They made close to a hundred dollars that day and taught me a lesson.”

He looked up at me and stopped milking for a minute.