Chapter and Verse (18 page)

“
I can’t take a lot of time off, but I remembered that if I came here, technically I COULD sleep in my own bed and get away from everything at the same time.  How about it?  Can I stay?”

Well wasn’t that sweet?  People I cannot stress how he sounded.  The man sounded exhausted and defeated.  I don’t know what was going on at work, but whatever it was, it was beating the shit out of him.  As much as I needed the time away, he was three times as needy.  I began to wonder if I could sneak out and make it easy for everyone, when Grant made a move.

He took my hand and started walking towards Deacon.  I could have put up a fuss, but Deacon thought I was Bree.  If I was fighting his father, what would he think then?  This was getting confusing and Deacon scared me way more than the twelve bee hives we were walking away from.

We pulled up short about ten feet from Deacon and I kept my face pointed towards the ground.  If he knew that I wasn’t his mom, he didn’t acknowledge it.  There was hope.  As long as I stayed silent, I could still sneak out and he’d be none the wiser.  Then Grant did something that I never saw coming.

While my face was pointed at the ground, he reached over and pulled off my hat.  While Deacon and I were both sputtering in shock, he answered Deacon’s question.

“
You can stay if Dorothy says it’s okay.  We invited her first Deke.  You’re my son and you’re always welcome here, but I’ll be damned if you’re running off an invited guest.”

Then he turned to me with one eyebrow raised like, “Well?”  I stood there staring at Deacon and he was staring right back.  I don’t know what he saw in my eyes but it wasn’t hostility.  I know that because I didn’t feel it and I’m basically an open book.  You know I thought I’d still have residual anger, but I didn’t.  Deke had dark circles under his eyes and something akin to fear and regret resided in them.  How could I be angry?  Like I said before.  If I love you, I’ll never hate you.  I’d never hate Deacon Sloan no matter how much he might deserve it.  It was not gonna be a happening thing.

Instead, I did something completely spur of the moment and completely me.  I took off my gloves and handed them to Grant who put them inside my hat.  Then I reached out and took Deacon’s hand.  He looked shocked, but he didn’t resist or pull away.  I threaded my fingers through his and I watched him let go of a deep breath.  So far, so good.  When I squeezed he squeezed back so I started leading him towards the house while I spoke.

“
Come on Deacon you look wiped.  I’ll make you a sandwich while you get comfortable.  Ham or turkey?”

He opened the door for me but didn’t let go of my hand.  He followed me through, both of us ignoring Grant.  Somehow I didn’t think he minded much.

“
Ham please with some of mom’s yellow cheese if she’s got any.  It’ll be wrapped in thin white cloth inside of a baggie.”

“
Mayo?  Tomatoes?  Lettuce?”

“
Mayo and tomatoes please.”

I released his hand and walked to the fridge.  I was putting things on the counter and he was unbuttoning his dress shirt.  When I reached for a plate and turned to begin building, he spoke before leaving the room to change.

“
Dor’?”

His voice was quiet and just a bit fearful.  The pity factor just ramped up to a solid seven.

“
Yeah Deke?”

“
Thanks for this.”

“
They’re your folks Deacon.  If anyone should be thankful for being allowed to stay, it’s me.”

He came slowly towards me until he was next to me, which was probably braver than me playing with bees, because I had a bread knife in my hand.  He placed a hand on my lower back where he used to rest it, and so many memories came flooding back I was overwhelmed.  Yes there were some bad memories, I have total recall.  Remember?  But damn it, not all the memories were bad and the good ones outweighed the bad ones ten-to-one easily.

He leaned over and kissed my cheek and I looked at him and smiled.

“
I don’t mean thank-you for letting me stay, I mean thanks for this.  For allowing me near you again.  I’ve missed you so much it’s damn near killed me.”

I placed two pieces of bread on his plate and grasped the edges of the counter.

“
What?  You missed me?  You stubborn shit!  I’ve been going crazy Deacon!  All I do is run and hang out at the gym.  I don’t eat, and the first decent sleep I’ve had was last night and I had to get drunk to accomplish it.  What’s the matter with you?”

He kept staring at me as if I’d vanish and it was beginning to creep me out.

“
Deacon, say something please.”

He turned my body towards his and slipped his arms around me, pulling me closer.  His grip tightened, the connection complete.  My face was against his neck and he felt the tear when it fell.  He began rubbing my back and pulled me even closer if that was possible.

“
Don’t cry Dor’.  I’m an idiot.  I was afraid that if I called, you’d tell me to go fuck myself and I’d deserve it.  After a couple of weeks passed, the opportunity did too.  Then I got the book and I knew if I called it would have to be about the book and I wanted it to be about us.”

He tilted my face up using a fingertip.  Our faces were so close that if he leaned towards me even an inch, we’d be back to what got us fighting in the first place.  He used his thumb to wipe a tear from my cheek and whispered.

“
There IS still an us, right Dorothy?  Am I too late?”

Now I wondered if he was talking in code.  Us?  What kind of us?  Best-friends us, or Dor’ and Deke and Spock, us?  I couldn’t ask him that, I’d be mortified.  Maybe I could cruise along and figure it out as we went along.  Yeah.  I could do that.  That would work.

Just about the time I was coming up with my game plan, he moved the inch.  Oh yes he did.

Holding hands, hugs, kisses on the cheek - all of these were completely acceptable and expected displays of affection between us.  We’d grown into them and none of them alone or in combination, freaked either of us out in the least.  This?  This kiss went beyond the quick kiss I’d given him that started all the trouble.  First let me tell you about the kiss, then I’ll tell you what I was left wondering.

He didn’t give me time to think.  His lips crashed into mine as if by magnetic pull.  I began to tremble and his grip tightened.  That was probably a good thing because I easily could have hit the floor.  Seriously.

Then the fingers of one hand were threading through my hair at the side of my face and I sighed.  Yes I’m embarrassed, and yes it really happened.  I sighed like in those grocery store romance novels that cost eight bucks and never last long enough.  I sighed like a teenager getting her first kiss.  He groaned in response and it rumbled right through me.  When I felt his tongue on my bottom lip, that electricity jolt I spoke of earlier zapped me upside the head and I opened my mouth in shock.  Deacon took it as an invite and suddenly I knew that he’d opted for the orange soda on the drive up.  In all fairness, he knew that I put strawberry jam on my toast at breakfast.

We were all tongues and noises and hands tugging hair and I have to tell you, it was the most erotic thing I have ever experienced in my life.  Neither one of us touched the other below the neck, but we didn’t have to.  Sparks few and no one was going anywhere.  Instead of pulling back, we pushed closer together.  He turned us so that my back was to the counter and he covered my body with his for maximum contact.  Deacon Sloan was doing to me what he’d undoubtedly done to countless others and I liked it.  If this was Deacon busting a move, he was good.  Damn good.  There was only one problem.  Remember that love thing I talked about earlier?  Yeah.  Now that I had him, and I mean REALLY had him, how could I ever give him up?  How could I watch him go off with another woman ever again and be okay with it?

This day just kept getting more and more confusing.

We kept on kissing, breaking only for lighter kisses and air.  His eyes were the color of a thunderstorm now and I can only imagine what color of green mine were.  The only thing keeping me from throwing him to the floor and taking this further, was the fact that it wasn’t my floor, my house, or my move to make.  I was following Deacon’s lead and so far it was a good time and getting better.  I did have one question though and it was a doozy.

“
Deacon?”, I asked, in between lip biting kisses and Deacon pressing his body against mine.  “What are we doing?”

“
My god Dor’.  It really has been three years.”

His hands slid to my lower back, just above my backside and I could feel the hesitation along with the need.  This had the potential to get serious and we were standing in his parent’s kitchen.  I needed clarification before the PDA became something we couldn’t walk away from as we labeled it a, “momentary lapse of reason”.

“
Dorothy, do you care for me?”

Those hands above my butt?  They pulled me against him hard and I could tell he cared for me pretty strongly at the moment.

“
You know I do, why are you asking me this?”

“
Because I wanted to be sure before I told you that I care deeply for you as well.”

And out popped the teenager with a sing-song, “You do?”.

How in the hell did this man take my college education and turn it into a paper airplane that flew right out the window with a kiss and a well placed squeeze?  If I weren’t clutching his shoulders I swear I would have face palmed in embarrassment.

“
I care so much for you, I’m not sleeping Dor’.  I’m driving my brothers crazy and I haven’t done a productive day’s work in weeks.  I sit at home, alone, staring at the Weather Channel with the sound muted, hoping I’ll hear you in your apartment, doing something.  And Dorothy?  I kept thinking about that kiss and this kiss and all of the kisses I wanted to give you.”

His voice got lower on that last bit and I felt kinda tingly.  I might have gotten stung after all, but I didn’t think so.  I know I felt one of the bricks fall out of my wall.  I didn’t panic though, not yet anyway.

He took my mouth in another blistering kiss and my eyes rolled back in my head.  I felt his hands on my ass, pulling me against him, when the back door opened.  We jumped apart in reflex and we looked at one another.  Instead of disbelief and the urge to run, we both felt the humor of the situation and started howling with laughter.  Now THAT was a nice change, let me tell you.

His parents were together and Grant must have filled Bree in because neither one of them looked shocked at the situation.  Instead, they looked wary.  The kind of look you wear when you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Yes, they’d caught us making out in the kitchen.  Would they now witness death by bread knife?  They weren’t sure and it was all over their faces.

To diffuse the situation, I carefully started layering meat and cheese on Deacon’s sandwich while I spoke to him.

“
Deke, go change clothes hon’.  I’ll be done here in a minute and you can eat.  Then you can take a nap and start catching up on that sleep you’ve been missing.”

I felt his hand on my lower back and I relaxed into it.  Deacon kissed my cheek and spoke softly but I know his parents heard it.  And what must we look like, anyway?  All I needed was an apron and we could be them!  Deacon came in from work and I was doing domestic stuff in the kitchen.  He kissed me hello and my apron melted.  Or something like that anyway.  It made my radar go on alert, that’s for sure.  Deacon doesn’t like “domestication”.  Deacon doesn’t DO “domestication”.  He told me once that you domesticate a dog or a cat, not a real man.  That’s why he’d elected to stay single.  Yet here we were.

While I delved into that in my mind, he spoke and my eyes went into overload.  The blinking commenced.

“
Why don’t we finish up here and then you can take a nap too.  I seem to recall you saying something about sleepless nights.”

He didn’t come right out and say, “Nap with me”, but the implication was there, even to me.  And I was trying not to read too much into anything.  He was making that extremely difficult.  We needed to have a long and serious talk, but right now wasn’t the time or place.  His folks were watching everything with intense interest and not a small amount of speculation.  I’d come to terms with my infatuation with Deacon, but I wasn’t insane.  Not yet anyway.

“
Deacon, go and take your shower and I’ll finish your sandwich.  We can talk about napping afterwards.  Okay?”

He kissed my cheek and smiled at his parents.  Then he walked out of the room.  Bree gave it a couple of minutes and then tiptoed to the the doorway and peeked around, making sure that her son had indeed gone upstairs.  When she returned, I was putting his sandwich on the table.

I turned to put everything away, trying to collect my thoughts into something I could talk about.  When I turned around, they were seated at the table, looking at me.  I guess the first conversation would be with them and they wasted no time.  Being more direct, Bree started the inquisition.