''
I
am
your friend, Cherie.'' That wasn't exactly true, but Kathleen didn't want to disappoint her. She tried again, her voice reaching for its usual high C and landing on a flat. ''I mean, I'm your friend but that kind of thing goes both ways, you know. I could just as easily ask why you're not happy for me. I think a real friend would be excited for the other one, don't you?''
Kathleen uncrossed her legs and put her knees together. She considered her black patent pumps, on sale because there wasn't much call for Italian square toed, high heeled pumps in Banning, California. Kathleen bought them just because they were beautiful and different. There was nothing Kathleen loved more than something that looked beautiful, something with color and form, something other than the desert and a sickroom and a mother who could only speak about disappointment and despair. Listening to Cherie, Kathleen remembered so well the words that made her long for a change of scenery. They were words that changed things around until Kathleen felt everything not quite right was her fault. Her mother had the knack. Cherie had the knack. Kathleen had had enough.
''
I'm thirty. I've never been out of Banning except to go shopping at the outlets near Palm Springs and to go with my parents for a weekend in Las Vegas when I was eleven. I went to law school just down the road in Riverside. I've never been challenged except to see how patient I could be waiting for my time to live. I've tried very hard to be kind to everyone, in fact I've bent over backwards to be kind to everyone.
''
Now, given all that, you can see why I didn't rush to you with this incredible news. I'm very patient, I was trying to be very kind so I wouldn't hurt your feelings by leaving you here and I was trying to be very cautious because I know I'm ripe for disappointment. I know what this place is and, until this moment, I wasn't sure I could leave it behind. Dorty & Breyer is predictable and safe. I could probably work here until I retire or die. There's a lot to be said for that.
Finally, Kathleen paused for breath. That was more than she'd ever said about herself at one time in all her years. She felt better already.
''
On the other hand, I could go to Beverly Hills to work with an uncle I haven't seen in fifteen years, a man who I admired greatly and who disappeared without a word to me. A man neither of my parents would talk about in all those years. I don't know what I feel about him, because I've never been the kind of person to hate. I'm not even sure I carry a grudge. But I do know what I think about his offer to have me work for him. It's an opportunity no one else is going to give me because I come from Banning and I'm thirty and I didn't have enough guts to grab for the brass ring before this. And all you've done by trying to make me feel guilty for wanting to go, and for having the chance to go, is to make my decision for me. I think it's the best thing that happened to me, thank you very much. I'm going to leave here and not look back.''
Kathleen stood up. She wore black, a simple shift. Cherie hated her guts for wearing it and for standing with her shoulders back and her head up.
''
Well, then, I guess that shows what your home counts for. Guess that shows what it means to live your whole life in a place that you can just leave in a snap. Guess that shows what your commitment counts for, doesn't it? I mean, what are you going to do with your case load?''
''
I wouldn't walk out on the firm.'' Kathleen was already halfway down the hall. Behind her Cherie was stubbing out her cigarette with great show. Kathleen could just imagine her touching her brittle hair then the buttons on that sweater she wore three times a week before she crossed her arms again. It was like a ritual to ward off anything that might make Cherie stand up and be counted.
''
You think you're going on an adventure?'' Cherie called and Kathleen stopped for a moment. ''You're not. Just remember I'm the one that said that. They'll chew you up and spit you out, Kathleen Cotter. I don't care how much you think you've learned from those dumb magazines. They'll see right through you. They will. I don't care if you graduated top of your class. It was still a second rate school. You won't be able to handle anything bigger than a thirty-dollar divorce. They'll know that the minute you open your mouth.''
Cherie laughed a little until Kathleen turned her head. She didn't bother to look at Cherie, she just stood there. Cherie stopped laughing just in time to hear Kathleen's pretty voice. She was hurt and suddenly hard.
''
At least I'll have tried. And another thing, I won't hate you for trying to make me feel bad about it. So that puts me two step ahead right there.''
There didn't seem to be anything more to say. Much as Kathleen wanted to apologize, to beg forgiveness for putting herself before others the way her mother had always insisted she do, this time she wasn't going to. This was the beginning of a new life - her life - finally. She was going to take a chance and grab this opportunity, unless, of course, she got there and her uncle came to his senses.
By the time she'd reached the only office with a real door, Kathleen considered the notion that Beverly Hills would roll up its sidewalks the minute she appeared, the way Cherie said. Then again, they may love her. Yes they may. Kathleen threw back her shoulders and put her hand on her hip. She was as good as anyone in her situation could be and she worked like the dickens. There was always that. Kathleen shook back her short hair and licked her wide, bright red lips. Holding the good thoughts, Kathleen knocked on Jay Dorty's door.
''
Come.''
She went in.
Jay was hunched over his desk. The desk was a bad imitation of an imitation heirloom but it served its purpose. It was as big and intimidating as the chair in which Jay sat; as big and intimidating as the balding man himself. But things had changed. She was Kathleen Cotter, soon to be associated with the firm of O'Doul & Associates. She wouldn't be intimidated by anyone. Still, she faltered a bit when Jay slid his eyes up briefly. He never made eye contact.
''
Mr. Dorty?''
''
Yep?''
He had been laboring over a letter. He did that a lot yet she never saw a stack of mail waiting for the postman. Once Kathleen had offered to take the mail to the Post Office and he hadn't spoken to her for a week. That's when Cherie became her friend, ushering her out of the office and explaining what was what. Dorty's name was on the door, they labored for Dorty, it was useless to try to be friends with a man who made up an imaginary partner because he thought two names looked better on the door than one. Kathleen took her words to heart yet secretly longed for some sort of connection, professional-to-professional. Now, before she made it, she was going to sever it. Kathleen hated leaving something so important undone.
''
Jay.'' Kathleen cleared her throat and changed her tact. She was headed west, to Beverly Hills. She might as well start acting like someone who belonged in Beverly Hills. ''Jay, I'm leaving Dorty & Breyer.''
She waited. The pen wasn't scratching anymore. Slowly Jay Dorty sat back. His eyes slid from the top of her blond head to the middle of her knees. Her ankles were hidden by the desk or he would have traveled the whole route. He looked downright surprised and when he looked her in the eye again he actually looked sad. Kathleen answered him with an equally sympathetic look then remembered what she was about.
''
I want you to know how much I've enjoyed working here. Not only did I learn a lot handling all those personal injury cases and divorces, but I was honored when you asked me to be your spokesperson on your cable commercial.'' She smiled, closed mouthed. It made her eyes crinkle mischievously. When he didn't smile back, she recomposed herself. ''But, Jay, I've got an offer and it's big. I'm going to work in Beverly Hills.'' Silence. Her voice faltered. She deflated like a balloon when he didn't respond. ''Really,'' she insisted.
Jay Dorty put his hands over his eyes and bowed his head. Kathleen took a little step to the right and cocked her own trying to see under his fingers. He looked like he was crying. She felt horrible. It had been wrong to come on so strong. Her voice softened but the message was clear. ''I'd like to leave as soon as possible, but I'll stay as long as you need me. As long as my clients need me.''
Jay dropped his hand. His eyes were red rimmed, but there were no tears. He took a great deep breath through his great broad nose.
''
No problem. Take off whenever. Cherie can pick up the slack.''
He was scribbling again.
Kathleen smiled wanly.
That hurt.
When she left his office she had no idea that Jay Dorty was already regretting her departure. There was no one, after all, who left a room the way Kathleen Cotter did.
CHAPTER ONE
''
Excuse me. I'm sorry to bother you.''
The woman stopped and looked Kathleen's way. Her eyes were shaded by the brim of a beautiful straw hat. Beneath the shadows and the sunglasses were fabulous cheekbones. Beneath the woman's throat was equally defined and impressive. Her collar bones stuck out further than her nearly concave chest. She hitched an impossibly large straw bag over her shoulder and shifted what little weight she had from one expensively sandaled, beautifully manicured foot to the other.
A huge diamond on her ring finger sent a blinding prism Kathleen's way but Kathleen still managed to see that the woman looked her up and down. Kathleen would have blushed under such scrutiny if she hadn't already been flushed with the heat. When it became obvious she didn't quite measure up to Beverly Hills emaciated chic, Kathleen smiled apologetically. The woman did not smile back. Kathleen moved a bit closer, ready to beg if she had to. She was already half an hour late and that was not a great way to impress your new employer.
''
I wonder if you could direct me to the office of Gerry O'Doul. 1820 Beverly,'' Kathleen asked.
''
What does he do?'' The woman drawled, covering her odd curiosity beautifully. Now Kathleen was surprised. She had thought Beverly Hills was an intimate town where everyone knew the rich, powerful and famous.
''
He's an attorney,'' Kathleen answered patiently.
''
Divorce?'' The woman tipped her round sunglasses to eye Kathleen more closely.
''
Criminal,'' she answered helpfully. The glasses went back on the woman's nose.
''
I've been married to a few of those but they never went to jail.'' She licked her lips and almost smiled. It had been a joke after all. ''I don't know. Sorry. Can't help you. Maybe you want to check your information. Look in the phone book.''
She turned away. Kathleen thanked the woman's back and went the opposite way. She stopped a moment later when the woman called back to her.
''
Are you looking for South or North Beverly?''
''
South,'' Kathleen answered and the woman pointed toward Wilshire Boulevard.
''
You've got to cross over.''
Kathleen nodded. She hurried on and, as she passed, the woman lowered her glasses again and put out her hand. Kathleen paused. The woman looked at Kathleen closer.
''
You're not. . .'' she said thoughtfully then suddenly made up her mind. ''No, you're not.''
The lady ducked into a shop where the windows were stuffed with linens the likes of which Kathleen had never seen. But there wasn't time to linger over beautiful things she couldn't afford. Gerry O'Doul was waiting for her, ready to settle her into a new and exciting job, a new apartment, a new life. She crossed Wilshire Boulevard, resisting the urge to stand in the middle of it and throw her arms heavenward in thanks.
Her steps slowed halfway down the block. The restaurants were charming, smaller and not so elegant on this side of Wilshire and there were no big office buildings. Kathleen looked at the numbers and ignored the strange feeling that something had changed the minute she crossed from North Beverly to South. On she went, hesitating when she crossed Olympic. Kathleen looked longingly behind her. She could still see the grand boulevard, Wilshire, legendary as the real estate on which sat the finest shops and hotels in Los Angeles. It was far away. In this block there was a change again. Office buildings once again lined both sides of the street, but now they were yellow brick and beige stucco, not marble.
Kathleen stopped.
She looked up, back then up again.
She'd arrived.
1820 South Beverly was right in front of her, a skinny building squished between two larger ones and all of them looked a little tired.
1820 South Beverly was the place where she would make her mark. Sadly, it didn't look as impressive as she'd imagined. Then she looked at the door. Now that was impressive.
Touching the shining brass plate on the heavy glass door as if it were the portal to Oz, Kathleen gripped the handle, opened it and slipped through. The door shut with a whoosh and she was sealed inside. It took a moment for her eyes adjust to the dim lights and realize she was actually in a small lobby instead of the hushed reception area of the fantastic suite of offices she had expected.
A green 'exit' sign hung over a door at the far end of the narrow room like a personal invitation to bolt. At a ninety degree angle another sign indicated stairs were available if she wanted to take some time ascending to great heights. To her left the brass door elevator dominated the mole colored wall. On her right a brass encased information board was mounted like a fine painting, complete with display light. The floor was real marble. How lovely. How appropriate.
Kathleen checked the board. O'Doul & Associates was on the second floor, a chiropractor on the third. He had a full floor. That was a very, very good sign. She called for the elevator, punched the button for the second floor and let her marvelous chest swell with pride. Banning and life as she had known it was left behind in the marble lobby. The bevel-mirrored elevator took her one floor up to her destiny.