Charity's Warrior (31 page)

Justin had asked that I wear a dress, something light, so I had on a halter dress with a sensible print that I matched to a medium heel and a clutch. He was wearing something comfortable, Alfani loafers with khakis and a light green Charles Tyrwhitt dress shirt. Neither of us was too hot in the sun, and he still looked good enough to lick.

Under the roof of the Lakeside Restaurant at the Boathouse, we can see that the sun is finally on its decent as we eat. The shadows stretch across the water, blacking out its choppy, windblown ripples, and a yellow glow has settled on Justin’s handsome face as he smiles at me. It makes the rest of the colors in the place seems to pop, the simple yet bright table flowers, the crisp blue shirts on the staff. It was all sharper without the full daylight washing it out.

"So, I'm curious, did you spend the entire day smiling like that?" I ask. "Because I certainly did."

His easy laugh mixes into the murmur of the busy patio. There's a certain pride in his eyes, a sense of accomplishment, as he glances up at me from his food. It seems he has something to tell me, something important.

"I did," he finally said. "I'd chance a bet that I probably smiled more than you, actually."

I laughed. "Not likely. What makes you think that?"

Justin places his fork down and swipes his napkin across his mouth, his eyes still beaming. "I'm positive the sex last night was wonderful for both of us. It was certainly more powerful than anything in my past, ever, but I am sure that waking up next to someone the following morning was a first for only one of us--and I don't mean you."

I freeze. It is too much effort on my brain to do anything else at this moment, but work to comprehend what he is telling me. Obviously I heard him wrong. There's no way he has never spent the night with a woman. Finally, I had to swallow the food sitting and waiting in my mouth.

Very softly, I ask, "Are serious or teasing me? You've never once stayed the night with anyone?"

"Never," he reassured me, shaking his head. "It was one of the rules that helped me keep my distance, isolating me from all the painful emotions. Either I left, or they did, depending on whose place we were at."

And last night, without so much as a word, he had given that up for me. I cannot explain the tremendous connection I feel with him right now. Last night, he was asleep before I was, our arms around each other. I lulled myself under by listening to his long, deep breathing and feeling safe wrapped around him in the warm bed. I didn't have a clue of the significance. I'm fighting back tears. This was absolutely huge, and he never said a word. I wish he had. I wish I had known.

"I can't explain to you the feeling of waking up and finding your beautiful face still there. You look like an angel when you sleep, did you know that? The absolute peace it gave me stayed with me all day, and is still with me now. For a while before you woke, I watched you breathe. It wiped away all the years I'd waited," he said contently.

"I'm glad you stayed," I said as I wiped a tear from my cheek. "If I'm being honest, it was one of the only nights in a while that I felt safe enough to sleep through."

Justin touched my hand across the table. "I spent the day grateful for you, and hoping for the chance to do it again," he said.

"Whenever you're ready, Justin, we can make that a regular thing," I said. I was a bit nervous to say that to him, to expose how much I want him, but I'm also tired of holding back.

He let go of my hand. "I am ready," he said, "so I'm going to hold you to that."

We smile at each other comfortably, both of us happy with that. I watch him eat for a moment, until he notices me doing it. "You should finish your food," he said. "We've got plans after dinner."

As I pick up my fork and begin eating, all I can think about is his amazing strength. His life had been on a deliberate line without any deviation, and now he was on a completely new course and fully embracing it. There's nothing he is holding back on.

When we are finished, the sun is setting and the yellow glow is now orange and red. His face is still gorgeous in the light, and I swim in his eyes.

Along with the check, the waiter brings over a tall basket and hands it to Justin, who puts it on the floor by his feet. He sees me looking at it, and he knows I'm curious, but he offers nothing more than a wink, as he tells the waiter to wait for a moment. He drops money into the checkbook and hands it right back, telling him we won't need any change.

Justin grabs the basket and pushes his chair back. "Ready?"

We get up and head out, the basket in one hand and me in his other. Letting me wonder and speculate.

"You're really not going to tell me what's in that, seriously?" I joke, motioning at his mysterious package.

He laughs again. "We're not going far, you'll know in just a few minutes."

I have to work on my patience.

He was not lying. We marched off the patio and right into the boat rentals, where they were waiting for us.

"I called ahead for a gondola," Justin tells them.

"Of course, you're all set and ready to go," they reply, pointing the way for us to follow.

"Oh my God, I love it," I say as I am assisted into a gondola.

Justin came on behind me and we sit, waiting for the gondolier to launch us. Before we get moving, Justin opens the basket and pulls out two flutes and a bottle of champagne, something called Fragolino. He pours us each half a glass, not a bad idea while on such a small boat.

I love the pride on his face when he sees my approval of his surprise.

"Now, I'm not going to lie," Justin says, "this is very
inexpensive
champagne, but it's some of the best tasting you will ever have." He passes one of the glasses to me and holds his up. "This is to us, for finding each other, and for letting it happen."

I tapped my glass to his. "To us," I agreed.

He was right; it was the first champagne I've ever tasted where I actually wanted more than a little sip. "Wow," I said. "That
is
good."

"There is an amazing history behind this particular brand," he tells me. "A huge civil war began over that champagne."

"Oh my God, really?" I ask, impressed.

"No," he says flatly, smiling at me wickedly.

And there goes my snort-laugh!

The gondolier took us away from the dock as the blues and purples began to overtake the orange and red in the sky. It is the end of sunset, the last moments of daylight spreading out before us.

We enjoyed the beginning of the ride with Justin telling me more about his father, things his father had done that he hadn't told anyone about, not even Lena, birthday surprises, flowers for his mother, wonderful memories that he had packed up inside. I had so many questions, and he answered them the best he could. Somewhere along the ride, we managed to pour some more of the champagne and toast to his father.

Justin has his arm around me, lightly playing with the hair behind my ear as we watched the streetlights come to life, quivering over the water's surface. The gondolier is actually humming a song now, but I think it is more to occupy himself than us. Our conversation drops off comfortably, and we enjoy the cool night. I take the opportunity and begin kissing the side of his face, following his strong jawline.

"If I told you that I'm falling in love with you, would you believe it?" Justin asks me suddenly.

My heart is instantly pounding, and much too loudly to deny it. I'm sure it's sending ripples out on the water as it shakes the boat. "Yes," I answer through the huge lump of emotion in my throat.

"Even though it would be a lie?" he adds softly.

"A lie?" I repeat painfully, insulted and devastated.

"I couldn't fall for you anymore. The truth is I've already
fallen
. I've even tried to get back up only to have you sweep the feet from under me again. I'm breaking the biggest promise I've ever made to myself, Charity." He turns to me, placing a hand on my cheek. "Despite all my efforts, I
am
hopelessly and endlessly in love with you. I don't want to know another day without you, I couldn't survive it."

He is looking at me for a response through two very vulnerable eyes. There is no catching my breath, or my heart. They are galloping around the lake like wild horses without any reigns to control them by. I am lost in the dust of their hooves, unable to breathe, to form words and utter a cohesive sentence in reply.

Maybe that is the point. Maybe now is not the time to fight for rationality and poetic terms. Now might be the perfect time to give in and provide an answer solely built on emotion.

I place my hand on his face, feeling the muscle in his jaw clenching his nervous teeth. "I love you too, Justin," I said, my words nothing but a whisper, showing him that he had taken my breath away. "I have all along."

"I adore you," he says, relieved. "You are my world now, my everything."

I can't say for sure who started kissing who, but the passion is immeasurable. My hand pressing on his chest can feel his rapid heart pounding in relief and excitement.

The gondolier delivers us back to the dock, where Justin leaves me for a moment so he can tip him. When he returns to grab my hand and lead me away, our smiles are ridiculous and unyielding, and we are fine with that.

We stroll out of the park, hand in hand, past a line of horse drawn carriages. Justin is intently listening to me this time as I talk about Melissa and friends from back home. It upsets him not to know anyone from my past, and he makes me promise to bring him back to PA sometime. That was going to be an easy one to keep; I can't wait to show him off. Melissa was going to go ape-shit over him, I know it already.

We blew right by the subway and stop for coffee and dessert at a place Justin says is his favorite up here, telling me he just can't be this close and not stop in. The childlike excitement in his eyes is adorable, so there was no way I was going to deny him this.

The cheesecake is phenomenal! Maybe the other thing at Junior's as good as the desserts are the murals on the walls. I don't even care how corny we look feeding each other samples as we sit under the painting of Ebbets Field with the Dodgers pennant and the 3 dollar ticket. It hits me that we probably look like a Rockwell painting.

I fed him a bite from my fork and he left some on his lip. I use my thumb, sliding it across his mouth and the soft heat of it stirs me.

The closer we get to being finished, the more Justin's eyes begin to sparkle. There's obviously more to the night, something he's saved for last.

"Why do you look like the Cheshire Cat?" I ask curiously.

"I have something special planned for you. We did say we wanted it to stay hot between us, so I'm keeping my word on that."

The excitement in his voice ignites me. I want to know what it is. I want to know right now, and I don't hide it at all.

"Tell me!" I demand, my eyes on fire.

Justin only smiles and I know I'm falling right into his trap. This is exactly what he wants, me begging and tortured. Knowing that doesn't stop it from working. My groin throbs.

He fills his mouth slowly with another bite. The tease of his mouth, his hot, wet tongue; it's like waving a needle in front of a heroin junky. I haven't licked his lips enough yet in this lifetime, and I need to taste him.

My foot rubs his leg under the table. "Tell me--I have to know!"

"You'll want to save you're begging for later."

He's so fuckable and hot I can't stand it. He knows just how to charge up my interest into a frenzy of lust. All I can think about now is smearing the cheesecake over his muscles and licking him clean.
Or into my lap and letting
him
do the work!

My clit throbs again. "You really said that here, now, and expect me to wait until we get back?"

"You don't have a choice," he says with a smile. He's pure wickedness.

"I could decide to fuck you right here on this table, or in an alley on the way back. I could ride you while we ride in a taxi," I suggest, struggling for some control.