Charlotte's Mail Order Husband (New Montana Brides series) (7 page)

chapter Fifteen

Going Home Again

“Upset? I’ve never been around any type of violence,
during the war, I knew of men that didn’t come back, and I knew women whose husbands didn’t come back, but I hadn’t personally been around when it happened. Today, a man who worked for Zebulon was killed. He was younger than I am. And Zebulon was shot, and could have been killed as easily as Jasper was. I don’t think I can live with that possibility day in and day out. I don’t want to live with it day in or day out,” Lottie said.

What are you going to do?” Carrie asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t want to go back to my old life either,” Lottie said. “I’m so confused. I don’t know what I want.”

“What are you going to tell Zebulon? He thinks you love him,” Carrie said.

“I do. I’m pretty sure I do,” Lottie said. “I’ve really made a mess of everything.”

“I can’t tell you what to do,” Carrie said. “I don’t k
now what I would have done if it had happened to me.”

“I do know one thing,” Carrie said
.. “You had better make up your mind, and you had better do it soon, and you had better get it right. You only get one chance. If you get it wrong, you affect two lives, yours, and Zebulon’s.”

Sleep did not come that night. Lottie sat by the bed, s
ilently crying, confused, watching Zebulon as he slept.

The next morning…

Carrie came in to see how Zebulon had fared during the night. He was sleeping, but restless. She put her hand on his forehead, and said, “Hmm, he feels warm to me. I’m glad Carter is coming back out this morning.”

Lottie,
looked up, her eyes swollen, the imprint of the chenille bedspread was on her face. She gave Carrie a half-smile.

Carrie
laid her hand on Lottie’s shoulder. “Have you been here all night?” she asked.

Lottie nodded.
“I’ve been trying to decide what I’m going to do,” Lottie said.

“And did you?” Carrie asked.

“I’m going home, I just can’t cope with this uncertainty and violence. Do you realize ten men are dead?” Lottie said.

“
The rustlers died as a result of their own actions. Their actions killed Jasper. Avoiding reality almost never works,” Carrie said. “If you’re not absolutely sure, then both of you would be better off if you leave. Zebulon deserves someone who wants to be here. I thought you were stronger than this though, and I certainly never pictured you as a quitter.”

Carrie’s tough remarks brought tears again.

Carrie told Case about her discussion. “She says she is going back home. It’s going to be tough on Zebulon when she tells him.”

“I expected more from her than this,” Case said.

“So did I,” Carrie said.

Later…

Doctor Palmer came in a few minutes after ten o'clock. “How is he doing?” he asked Lottie.

“He was restless most of the night,” she said.

Carrie said, “He feels warm to me.”

Carter placed his hand on Zebulon’s forehead. “I believe he does have a fever,” he said
.  He removed the dressing, and could see the wound was suppurating.

“Carrie, I need some hot water to sterilize my instr
uments.. I’m going to debride the wound before I reapply a dressing. I will have to use ether again, so no fires close by.” He dripped the ether onto a gauze pad and held it over Zebulon’s mouth and nose.

When he was satisfied the anesthetic tad taken effect, he retrieved his scalpel and forceps from the boiling water, and began cutting away the necrotized tissue. He widened the wound so he would be
able to effect a more complete removal if the infected tissue. He worked quickly, a benefit of his years of experience in the war. He packed the wound with gauze soaked in carbolic acid.

“I’m going to leave the wound open for a couple of days to allow the carbolic acid and debridement to work,
and then I’ll remove the packing and close it.” After he had packed the wound, he applied gauze soaked in carbolic acid atop the incision. “I’ll leave some laudanum to relieve his pain.”

When he had finished, he turned to Lottie, and asked, “How are you holding up?”

“Not very well,” she answered. “I’m having trouble coping with all of it.”

He looked at her closely. “Listen to me. This man could die from this if I can’t knock the infection down. He will sense your feelings. It could affect the healing process. He needs
you, but he needs you to be strong. If you can’t do that, then you need to stay away from him. I don’t mean to be cruel or harsh, but that’s the way it is.”

Sobbing, Lottie ran from the room
.  “What’s going on?” Carter asked Carrie.

“She’s having trouble with the enormity of the violence and th
e fact ten men died in the gun fight. She has decided she can’t handle it and is going to go back east.”

“Just like that, at the first sign of trouble, she’s going to cut and run? She needs to be shaken up.
”

“I was pretty rough on her before you got here, but I don’t know if I got through or not.”

“Well, Maryland this isn’t. Maybe she can’t handle it. If not, it’s better to find out sooner, rather than later. I’ll stick around for a while and make sure he comes out of it, and I’ll talk to her.”

He washed up, ridding himself of his stained surgical apron and went looking for Lottie.

He found her on the porch, sitting on the steps. He sat beside her, and said, “Pretty rough, huh?”

She nodded,
without saying anything.

“The human mind, body and spirit
are God’s greatest creation. There is virtually no limit to what it can handle. I’ve never told anyone about this, but I’m going to tell you a story… a true story; it’s my story.

“
After I finished medical school, and before the war, my wife Lucy, and I lived next door to Elizabeth and Caleb Cartwright, in Rockville. When the war came along, I figured the Army would be a good place to hone my craft. After all, everyone said it would be over in less than a year. I was right, I got plenty of experience in a hurry, but it lasted over four years, not one. I estimate I amputated a thousand arms and legs during the war. The thought of Lucy kept me going all of those years.

“
When I finally got home, I found Lucy had died from smallpox. I had not been notified because the Army had listed me as killed in action. Elizabeth had arranged for Lucy’s funeral. Then I found her husband had been killed at Spotsylvania.

“After what I had been through, I was
n’t sure I wanted to practice medicine, but I did for about six months. I couldn’t do it. I decided to toss it all and try my hand at gold mining.  The night before I was to leave, a man came to the door and begged me to come look at his wife. She was pregnant and had begun bleeding. Elizabeth had been helping me with deliveries and I asked her to come with me. We lost the mother and the baby that night. She did a lot of soul searching, trying to understand how we could work with such trauma.

“
I didn’t try, I cut and run, the same way you’re thinking about doing. I came to Helena, bought the house we live in now, and decided to continue at medicine. There was a major problem with the Sioux, and the Army recruited me to help. I became a surgeon again, only this time, I was treating arrow and tomahawk wounds. When I came back, I realized how lonely I was. Elizabeth and I had been writing since I left Rockville, and I found myself missing her. I asked her to marry me, but she would not. Finally, I decided it was time I did something. I closed the practice and went back to Baltimore, where I proposed again, and told her I was prepared to live there or here. I found the reason she would not come out here, was she had a baby. My baby. The son I don’t think you have met. I brought them back with me, but we kept the two houses in Baltimore, just in case she didn’t like it here. We still have them.

“If I could handle what
was thrown at me, and if Elizabeth could handle what was thrown at her, I think you can cope with this, Lottie, look at me. My concern is for my patient, not whether you are up to this. He needs you, but if you can’t do it, then I want you to stay away from him. Do you understand me? I’ll put you on the stage back to Baltimore myself. I mean that.” He stood and went back into the house to check on Zebulon.

He sat in the bedroom talking to Carrie and Case, and o
ccasionally checked Zebulon’s pulse and heartbeat.

Two hours later, Lottie walked into the room. “I want to sit with my husband,” she said.

Are you sure? I meant what I said,” Carter said.

“I know you did, and I thank you for saying it. Now, may I?”

“Yes.” He moved back, and she sat down and took Zebulon’s hand and began massaging it. The effects of the ether had worn off and he began to stir. He opened his eyes, looked at her, and said, “Lottie.” He closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

“I need to get back to town. Send for me, if you need me,”
Carter said.

“
Carter,” Carrie said, “Thank you.”

Case shook his hand. “You
will be back tomorrow?”

“Yes, I’ll be out in the morning,
“ Carter said.

“Carter…
Doctor, thank you. For everything.” She stood and wrapped her arms around him and hugged him.

The tears in her eyes were not tears of self-pity. They were tears of hope.

chapterSixteen

The Road
To Recovery

Lottie sat by the bedside, leaving only when necessary. She ate lunch for the first time since Zebulon was hurt. Late in the afternoon, she heard a scratchy voice say her name, “Lottie…”

She raised up and saw both his eyes were open and looking at her. His head was beaded with sweat. She touched it and found it blessedly cool. “Carrie” she called out. “Can you come in here?”

Carrie came hurrying into the room, followed closely by Case. “What is it?” she asked.

“I think his fever’s broken. Feel his forehead,” Lottie said.

Carrie
laid her hand on the sweaty skin. “You’re right. Thank God.”

Lottie had her face buried in the va
lley between his shoulders and chin. “Welcome back, Darling. I thought I was going to lose you.”

Three days later...

Whit had the wagon by the back door of the Lazy J Ranch house. Case had put their things in the wagon. The doctor had given the okay for him to move about. They were going home again.

“Zeb
ulon, I’m going to check on the wood for the stove and fireplace,” Lottie said.

Sh
e was back in a few minutes. “Apparently, Whit had someone split some. We’ve got plenty for the time being.

“You go sit down
. I don’t want you to overdo it. I’ll fix us some lunch,” Lottie said.

He heard her say, from the kitchen, “Well, would you look at that.

“What is it?” Zebulon asked.

“It looks like the cook fixed lunch for us.” There are some pork chops, beans and potatoes, and tomatoes in here. The work’s all done. I’ll get you a plate.”

After they ate, Zebulon said, “We haven’t even seen the furniture yet. Let’s check it out.
Most of what he had ordered had been delivered by the drayage company. “It’s beautiful.” Lottie said. “In my wildest dreams, I never thought I would live in anything so fine. Thank you, Zebulon. Thank you for making a home for me.”

“Let’s look at the
bedroom,” he said. “I was hoping this would be delivered before I brought you home. I guess Whit saw to setting it up.”

“Zebulon, this is so incredible I can’t believe it. It must have cost a fortune. I’ve never seen anything as nice. Pinch me to make sure I’m awake.”

“Where?” he asked.

“Where what?”

“Where should I pinch you?”

“You behave. You know Carter said to take it easy.”

He sat on the bed and patted the bed beside him. “I need to tell you something. I took gold out of Last Chance Gulch every day for over two and a half years. A lot of gold. Then I sold the claim. We own the ranch free and clear. It’s making a profit. We, notice I said we, have a fortune. I don’t have to work, but I like to, and when I work, I work hard.

“I wanted a wife I could be proud of, and now I have one. I wanted a nice home
, one I could bring my wife to, and now I have that.

“
Lottie, I want us to have a nice life. And we will. I have some very good friends; you’ve met them, and now they’re your friends. One thing I don’t have… yet, is a son. All of this means nothing if there’s no one to leave it to.”

“I’ll give you a son, Zebulon. I’ll give you a daughter too. You’ve given me more already than any girl can hope to have, and I thank you for it. I will be a good wife
to you. I will,” she said with a conviction.

“I know you will
, baby,” he said. “Now, let’s see what else was done in our absence.”

“
Wait. I have a confession to make. I’m so ashamed of this, but you deserve to know. When you were shot, and lay there, with me not knowing whether you would live or die, I doubted you and us. I didn’t think I could live in a place where such violence could happen. I had made up my mind to go back to Baltimore. I told Carrie about it. She was really upset and disappointed in me. After Carter operated on you the second time, he came out to talk to me. He told me about the war, and all he had seen.

“He lived next door to Elizabeth and her husband, who had been killed in the war.

“When he came home, he found his wife had died of smallpox. He closed his practice and came out here intending to mine for gold. Instead, he contracted with the Army in their campaign against the Sioux.

“When he came back, Elizabeth wouldn’t come out here, so he went back to Maryland to get her. What I’ve seen pales in comparison to what they’ve experienced.

“Are you ready to continue our tour?” she asked.

I don’t think I’m up to climbing the stairs yet. I’ll
save that for later.

Wednesday afternoon, Lottie was standing on the front porch pondering a location for flowers when she saw a cloud of dust on the horizon. Then a carriage appeared, drawn by two large, brown horses. When it got closer, she could make out Carrie and Case Jamison. She went down the steps to meet them.

“Welcome”, she said, “You are our first visitors. It’s good to see you. How have you been?”

Case grinned. “Great. Is Zebulon around? I have some news to tell him.”

“I think he’s in the corral with Whit and the boys. Go on around. You will hear them. They’ve been yelling a lot.

“How about you Carrie?”

“I’m good,” Carrie said. “Really good. We just came from seeing Carter.”

“Is there anything wrong? Are you sick?”

Carrie said, “Nothing’s wrong, and I’m only sick in the morning. I’m with child. We told Letty and Jack and now you.”

“I’m so happy for you. I want so much to be a mother, and Zebulon built such a large house because he wants a large family. Here I am out here talking, I’m forgetting my manners
; come inside. You’ll be the first to see what Zebulon has done, besides the ranch hands, I mean. It pales when compared to your news, but come on in.” She took Carrie’s hand and led her into the newly furnished parlor.

“Lottie, it’s absolutely beautiful. I mean the furniture is perfect. Wait until
Case sees this. He’s going to want to replace ours.”

Lottie led her down the hall to their bedroom. “Isn’t this out of this world?”

“It is incredible. And that big bed. You could have some fun in that.” She giggled. “Isn’t that terrible of me?”

“Not at all.
And you can have some fun in it.”

“Good for you. It’s an embarrassing subject for some, but not for me. I enjoy it.”

“I’m beginning to,” Lottie said, her cheeks turning crimson. “Would you like some tea or lemonade?”

“I’d love some
tea.”

Case and Zebulon walked in the back door. “Did Carrie tell you the news?”
Zebulon asked.

“
Yes, she did.” She walked over to Case, and hugged him. “Congratulations, Case.”

“Thank you,” he said.

Two months later…

In bed, after a particularly intense session of lovemaking, Lottie raised her head from where it had been resting on Zebulon’s chest, and said
, “I wanted it to happen, and it did. I have fallen in love with you, Zebulon. With all of my heart, I love you, You are the kindest, most considerate, and thoughtful person I have ever met. And I love you. I can’t believe I was even thinking about leaving.

“Aww, Honey, that makes me so happy. I think I fell when I took your hand as you stepped from the stagecoach.

They had walked to the kitchen.
“Zebulon, I want you to give me a baby,” she said.

“I’ll do my best,
” he said, and took her down the hall to that large bedroom, the one with the big bed. He turned her to face away from him, and unhooked the loops on her dress, then lifted it over her head. Then slowly, layer by layer, he removed all of her clothes, then he removed his. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen,” he said.

“And I’m all yours,” she said.
“Make love to me, Zebulon. Make long, slow love to me. Give me a baby, Zebulon.”

He did.

Four months later…

Zebulon came into the warm kitchen
, rubbing his hands. “It’s getting pretty chilly out there,” he said. “You don’t look so good Honey. Don’t you feel well?”

“I’m fine. In fact, we’re fine.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think
I’m going to make half your dream come true. I’m pretty sure I’m going to have a baby. Carrie says I even have the expectant mother walk,”

“You’re not teasing me are you?”

“I would never tease you about something like this,” she said.

He took two steps, lifted her off the floor and swung her around
.. “Oops, I guess I should not be doing that. It’s wonderful. I’m going to be a papa. Ole Zebulon is going to be a papa. Come give me a big, wet, sloppy kiss.”

“It will be my pleasure,” she said and walked into his open arms. The kiss was long, and soon deepened. It led to
another, and another, and then it led to, well you know…