Chasing Butterflies (14 page)

I shrug. Honestly, I hadn’t really thought about it, but I open my mouth and say, “Eighteen.”

I hear her inhale a deep breath through her nose. “And what are we supposed to do for two years?”

“I don’t know,” I mumble, turning around to sit on her bed. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead.”

I feel the mattress dip behind me, and then I feel Yara’s arms drape around my shoulders. I shut my eyes and lean my head back as she slides her leg around my hip, wriggling herself onto my lap. When she wraps her toned thighs around my back, I close my eyes, relishing in the way she seems to fit so perfectly with me.

“Is this okay?” she asks, and I can hear a hint of mischief in her voice.

“Yes,” I answer without looking at her.

I feel her warms lips press against my cheek and then a ghost of a kiss breezes across the corner of my mouth. I open my eyes to find Yara’s face centimetres from mine. Her eyes immediately drop to my mouth and she leans in even closer. “And what about kissing, Gabriel?” She nips at my bottom lip and then quickly kisses and sucks my top lip.

“Kissing is perfectly acceptable,” I tell her, catching her mouth before she kisses me again. I quickly kiss her top lip and then let my tongue run across her plump bottom lip. “Kissing is more than acceptable, actually. Kissing is a requirement.”

She pulls back and then lifts her nightie clean off. “And what about kissing with no clothes on?”

What the hell is she trying to do to me?
“Yara,” I warn. I open my mouth, but she stops me from speaking by lightly kissing me.

My hand travels up her naked spine and then I pull her against me. As the soft swell of her breasts collide with my chest, I hear a sigh slip out of my mouth and into hers.

“I like this,” she says with a groan. “This feels nice.”

Feeling her against me like this makes me want to say stupid things, and I have to kiss her just to stop myself from telling her things that I know I shouldn’t. Things that would make me a hypocrite. Things that can’t be unsaid or unheard. Things that would probably get me in the sort of trouble that I’ve been trying desperately to avoid for the last two months.

“Oh, god,” I breathe as she grinds against my crotch. I’m aching—literally—to show her how I really feel about her. “I want you so bad,” I confess.

“Then have me,” she whispers back. She pulls her mouth away from mine and trails gentle kisses down my neck, nibbling when she gets to the base of it.

“Do you even know what that means?” I ask.
How does she know how to kiss? Or where to kiss?

She shrugs and kisses her way back up my neck to my ear. “It means I want you to make love to me.”

Make love
? “I still think you’re too young for that. Maybe when you’re eighteen,” I tell her.

“I don’t like the sound of that,” she says. “That’s too far away.”

“Yara, you’re going to have to stop.” I adjust myself and place my hands on her hips to lift her off me for a second.

“Why?”

Because you’re making me hard. Because you’re making me want you in ways that I’ve promised myself I won’t have you
. “I’m kinda uncomfortable.”

“Oh, sorry. Should I get off?”

“Probably,” I tell her, trying not to think about how good she feels and how easy it would be to slide her knickers to the side and bury myself inside her like she’s asking me to.

To distract myself, I look out of the window and stare at the full moon and the way it hovers just above my house in the distance. The way it casts a pale glow into her room, streaking her already pale hair in a stream of white. “It’s late,” I say as I help her off my lap. She nods and pulls her nightie back on before crawling away from me and up the bed towards the pillows.

“I guess we should sleep then,” she mumbles, snuggling under the covers. “But just for the record, I don’t want to.”

Does she really know what she’s asking?
“Oh, really,” I say, smiling in the darkness. “And what is it that you want to do?”

“I’ve already told you.”

“You’ve told me you want me to make love to you,” I say.

“Yes, I do.”

“Do you know what that is?”

“Yes,” she whispers again.

“Tell me.”

“What?”

“Tell me,” I say.

“I’m sure you already know,” she says.

“Maybe I do. And maybe that’s why I need to know that you know what it is. That we’re on the same page of the book, if you like.”

“I googled it,” she suddenly announces. “At the library. Irene wasn’t happy about it.”

“You googled it?” I ask through a laugh as I imagine the librarian’s face. Standing up, I pull my shirt over my head and push my jeans down my legs. When I’m in nothing but my boxers, I see Yara’s head lift from the pillow and then I crawl over the covers towards her.

Yara

“Yes, but some of the sites wouldn’t display properly because of the security at the library.”

I hear him chuckling as he nears me. The heat from his body seeps through the fabric, warming my cold skin. “I bet they didn’t. But now you think you have a good idea what goes on, do you?”

I know what’s he’s doing. He’s mocking me. Laughing at me and my inexperience. Well, two can play at that game. “I know exactly what goes on and what bits go where.”

“Oh, yeah?” he says, looking up at the ceiling. “And what Internet site was this from anyway?”

“Not from the Internet,” I tell him.

“Then what?”

“Books,” I say. “Ever heard of
Fifty Shades of Grey
?”

He bursts out laughing and then has a coughing fit. “What?”

“I’m joking,” I tell him, even though I’m enjoying the shocked look on his face. “I’ve heard about the book, but I’ve not read it. Some of the books that I read do get a little…naughty.”

“I doubt it’s anything like that though.”

“No, I’m sure it isn’t, but my point still stands. I know what I’m asking when I ask you to make love to me.”

It goes quiet between us after that. Then a few minutes later, I hear him turn to me. “Yara,” he whispers.

I shudder at the way his deep voice wraps around each letter of my name. Since I started hearing the unique way he says it, now I love my name.

“Gabriel,” I whisper back. I don’t know why, but I suddenly realise that something is about to happen. His breathing has changed. I swallow and then slowly turn to face him so we’re side by side. Face to face.

I can just about make out his eyes when he says my name again. “Yara.”

I don’t say anything back. Instead, I look down and watch his hand move over the covers towards me. I feel his fingertips dance along the outside of my thigh, and then I hear his breath catch in his throat before he says, “I don’t think I can lie here with you and keep my hands to myself. I want to feel you. All of you.”

My heart thumps in my chest as his words sink in. “Okay,” I breathe as his fingers slip under my nightdress.

“Just touching,” he tells me softly.

“Yes.” I’ll take whatever I can get, and right now his hands feel like heaven. I close my eyes, revelling in how soft his skin feels as it brushes against mine. His hand rests against my hip, and then I feel his palm on my stomach. I suck in a deep breath as his fingers graze my ribs and his eyes flick up to mine. We stare at each other while his hand creeps further up my body. I see his chest rise with each deep breath he takes, and then he briefly shuts his eyes when his hand covers my whole breast.

“I need to kiss you,” he suddenly declares. He only needs to dip his head a fraction and then I feel his hot lips sweep across mine at the same time he gently tweaks my nipple. “Fuck,” he breathes, pulling his hands away so he can hold himself up above my body.

The way he’s speaking as if he can’t breathe properly makes my insides turn to mush. I open my mouth, welcoming his tongue, and then I push my hands across his hard chest. When my fingers accidentally brush across his nipples, I hear him hiss and then I feel his mouth kissing all the way down my neck.

His hand moves over my breast, his fingers gently pinching my achingly hard nipple. As his mouth moves closer to that same spot, there’s a coil-like feeling uncurling in my stomach.

“Oh, Gabriel.” My hands move around his back and then my fingers snake into his hair as I deepen the kiss. I don’t know what this strange feeling is in my belly, but I love it. I can feel my blood pounding all throughout my body, and there’s a heavy sort of ache that’s settled in between my legs. It’s making me move my hips, pushing them until my pelvis meets his.

“Yara,” he mumbles.

Feeling his bare thigh against mine while his naked chest presses against my breasts is overwhelming. I feel like I want to explode. I never knew you could feel so many things all at the same time. All I know is that this feeling that’s whirling around me has to escape somehow.

His hands are everywhere, but not where I want them to be. I want them between my legs, easing my ache, soothing the need I have that’s coursing through me like it’s a river of fire.

“I think I’ve changed my mind,” he suddenly whispers against my skin.

I sigh and run my fingertips up his back. “Changed your mind about what?”

“This.” His fingers tug at the hem of my nightdress and I feel him pull away, waiting for my approval.

“Take it off,” I tell him.

He pulls it off so fast that it forces me to tear my mouth away from him. Then his lips close around my nipple, and I flinch as a shot of pleasure ignites in my chest.

“Oh, God,” I breathe. “Gabriel, I—”

He shifts above me and his knee accidentally brushes against me down
there.
I gasp and groan as the most euphoric feeling I’ve ever felt takes over my whole body.

I hear a cry and realise it’s me. Then I still beneath him, and my body reels itself back in and goes limp. The tingling feeling morphs into a floating feeling, making me feel as light as a feather.

My breaths are still tumbling out of my mouth in quick, short spurts and my chest is still rising and falling as Gabriel kisses his way up and down my body.

“Well, that was a little sooner than expected,” he whispers against my temple.

I smile when he slides around to the side of me and pulls me to his chest.

Was that an orgasm? If so, it’s so much better than how they explained it on the Internet
. “That was amazing,” I whisper. I take a deep breath and nuzzle in close, wrapping my arms around him. I wish I could bottle this feeling. I wish I could fall asleep knowing that Gabriel would make me feel what I just felt every single day and night.

Then I think about how I feel when he smiles at me. Or even when he’s annoyed with me. I think about the way he made me feel when he was sticking up for me in the shop—how he made me feel like I was worth fighting for.

“I think I could love you one day,” I confess. My eyes widen when I realise I spoke those words out loud. I freeze, but then I feel his arms tighten around me.

“I think I could love you one day too.”

Gabriel

It’s been eight minutes since the sunrise woke me up. I’ve been lying in bed watching Yara sleep the whole time. And yeah, I know that might be a little bit weird, but I figured it was about time I watched her while she was asleep.

She mumbles something about me watching her and it makes me smile. I brush a piece of her hair off her face and see her eyes flick open.

“Ugh,” she groans, turning over onto her back, putting her arm over her eyes. “Do I have to wake up?”

I chuckle and pull her arm away from her. “Not really, but I wanted you to wake up. I’m bored.”

She pulls the pillow over her face and turns away from me. “Go back to sleep. Then you won’t be bored.”

“Where did you get this tattoo?” I ask as I trace it with my finger, wondering just how long she’s had it.

“Some guy in the main town,” she mumbles.

“But you’re not old enough to get a tattoo,” I say, wondering how she even knew where to go.

“I know.”

“So did you lie about how old you were or something?”

“Nope,” she says. “I just offered to pay him double what he was charging. He did it right there and then.”

This guys sounds like a dick. Who takes money like that from a sixteen-year-old girl? “Who did it?”

“Some guy.”

“What’s his name?” I push.

“Jez, I think,” she says, sounding bored. “He seemed pretty cool.”

Cool?
I roll my eyes but decide to drop it for now. I don’t want to argue with her this morning, and I can always ask her about it another time.

After a few minutes, I start to tickle my fingers up and down her arm. Seconds later, I hear her giggling. “God, are you always this annoying when you’ve just woken up?”

“Nope,” I say. “Only with you.”

“Great.”

“Yara,” I say seriously as I pull the pillow from her face. “About last night…”

“You’re not about to tell me that it shouldn’t have happened or that it definitely won’t happen again, are you?” She nibbles her bottom lip and then looks away from me.

“No, of course not,” I tell her quickly. “I was just going to say that last night was…special. I loved every second of it. I just wanted you to know that. Someone once told me that I wasn’t very good at telling people the things that I liked about them. I want it to be different with you.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means I probably wasn’t a very good boyfriend. That I took a girl for granted when I shouldn’t have. That I probably didn’t let her know that I felt like I was the luckiest guy in the world because she was mine and I was hers.”

“Oh. Is this Alex you’re talking about?”

“Yes,” I say, nodding.

“But you don’t think about her like that now? What if you change your mind about me?”

I shake my head. “Alex died, Yara. She died before I had a chance to apologise for not treating her like a princess. Before I could tell her how much she meant to me. How I wanted to be hers forever.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “You must have been in so much pain.”

“We broke up a while ago, but she died just the other week.”

“When did you break up?”

“Last December. She broke up with me. I didn’t want her to, but she wouldn’t take me back and I had nowhere else to go. That’s why I came back here. I never wanted to come back here.”

I feel her stiffen, and I pull back to look at her.

“The night you kissed me. Is that the day she died?”

I take a deep breath and swallow the huge lump that’s suddenly wedged in my throat. “Yes.”

“That’s why you were crying. Is that why you kissed me? Because you were upset and confused?”

I can feel her pulling away from me, but I hold onto her. I’m not letting her go. Not now. Not without making her hear me out. “No, Yara, that wasn’t what it was. Not at all.”

“Then wha—?”

She suddenly stops and looks across the room. “What is it?” I ask, following her as she moves toward the end of the bed.

“There’s someone in my garden,” she whispers.

I frown, trying to listen for a noise but I can’t hear anything. I scramble for my clothes, but Yara doesn’t hesitate as she strides across her room to the window. I hear her gasp as I’m pulling my jeans up my legs.

“What?” I ask.

“Oh, no,” she cries, pulling on her nightie. “They’ve let all my butterflies out and they weren’t ready. They weren’t ready, Gabriel! And now they’re tipping my caterpillars out of their boxes!” She’s crying and wailing as she sprints from the room.

“Yara, wait for me!”

Shit.
I rush over to the window and feel the blood freeze in my veins as my eyes find several girls in her garden, shredding all of her sashes as butterflies struggle to fly all around them.

“STOP IT!” Yara shouts as she runs toward them.

A girl with long, black hair spins around on her heels and grins as she flips over the last plastic box. “Well, well, well…if it isn’t the Granny killer.”

Fuck
.