Chasing Butterflies (17 page)

Read Chasing Butterflies Online

Authors: Beckie Stevenson

No, no, no.
“So Gabriel is your brother?”
Please, no.

“Yes,” she says as she advances on me. “Not as thick as you look at times, are you?”

This is a nightmare. It must be.
“You’re his sister?” I ask as the shock feels like it freezes the blood in my veins.

I can’t believe Gabriel is her brother. Did he know it was her that was doing those things to me? Did he know that his own sister was the reason I hated my life?

“Yes. And you’re a pain in my arse.” Jasmine laughs and shoves at my shoulder, causing my juice to slosh over the side of the glass.

“And you’re a bitch,” I fire back, hating how the anger that’s coursing through my veins has made me say that word.

I decided when I woke up in the hospital that I wasn’t going to let them bully me any more. I decided I was going to fight back and take back some of the power they have over me. So that’s what I do. I curl my hand into a fist and pull my arm back, letting it fly through the air until my knuckle hits her cheek.

Jasmine’s face goes pale as she slumps to the ground, and then her whole body curls into a funny, twisted shape as she starts to convulse on the floor.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

Jasmine’s jaw looks like it’s locked and her eyes are flickering in her head.
Is this some weird joke?
“Get up,” I say, feeling confused. “I don’t understand what you’re doing.”

She carries on shaking and stuttering below me, and I suddenly realise that this isn’t right. She doesn’t look like she’s messing about now.

“Jasmine?” I crouch down beside her and see mucus coming from her mouth as her back arches and twists in weird positions. She’s making weird noises too and it’s frightening me.

Did I do this to her? Was it because I hit her?

I’m still kneeling beside her when Gabriel storms into the room.

“Jasmine!” he breathes as he gathers her into his arms. “Oh, no. How long has she been like this?”

“A-a-a while.”

“Call an ambulance, Yara.”

“I d-d-on’t k-now how.” I stand up and back away from her. From him. From them.

“Mum!” he yells. “Jasmine is fitting and it’s pretty bad!”

Fitting? Like a seizure?

I hear his mum’s footsteps on the stairs, and then she’s in the room taking charge. Gabriel hands Jasmine over to his mum and then pulls his phone out of his pocket. “What happened?” he asks me as he puts the phone to his ear.

I hit her. I finally hit her back and it felt so good.
I shake my head. I can’t tell him I did this.

“Ambulance,” he barks into the phone. He turns and places his hand on his mum’s shoulder as she holds Jasmine and utters words of comfort over and over again.

Panic slithers over me as if it were a snake. It coils around my shoulders and then squeezes my throat. My mouth feels as dry as the desert as I watch Gabriel push his hands through his hair in despair.

“Why isn’t it stopping, Mum?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” she replies. “It’s a bad one.”

“I have to go. I’m sorry,” I whisper, but I don’t think they hear me. I slip outside just as I hear the sirens in the distance

Chapter 21

 

 

 

Yara

 

 

“Excuse me.”

The guy behind the bar looks up and smiles at me. “Sorry,” he says as he stands and wipes his hands down the front of his trousers, “we’ve only just opened and I wasn’t expecting anyone to be here yet.” I see his eyes slide over to the clock on the wall. “What can I get you?”

“What?” I ask.

“To drink,” he says, smirking at me. “Unless you came in here just to see me?” He winks and then reaches up to grab an empty glass.

Oh. Maybe a drink would be good. Maybe it will stop my hands from shaking. Maybe I can numb myself to the point of not being able to remember.
“Whiskey, please,” I say because that’s the only drink I know of.

“With what?”

Shoot
. What do people normally have with it? “Um, lemonade?”

“Sure thing.” He smiles at me again and turns around to grab a bottle of amber-coloured liquid. “So, I guess you’re new to the village?”

“Not really,” I whisper as I watch him make my drink. “I just keep to myself.”

“Ah,” he says, “a quiet one.” He pushes the drink towards me. “It’s the quiet ones we’re all supposed to watch out for.”

Isn’t it just.
“So,” I say as I take a sip of my drink, wincing as it burns all the way down to my stomach, “you must hear all the gossip around here.”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“I heard about Jasmine going to the hospital this morning,” I say. “How’s she doing?”

His face falls, and I immediately feel sick and push the drink away from me. “Did you know her?”

Did?
“Not really,” I say. “We weren’t friends or anything. I just wanted to know how she was doing, but I didn’t want to bug the family.”

He visibly swallows. “I’m afraid Jasmine died before they got her to the hospital. Apparently, it was her epilepsy.”

Oh god. Jasmine is dead. I did it. I killed her. I must be as evil as Granny always said I was.
“Oh, no,” I say, feeling the weight of what I’ve done settle deep in my bones. “Poor Gabriel.”

“Yeah,” he agrees, nodding. Then he gazes at me curiously and says,  “Wait, you know Gabriel?” I see the wheels start to turn in his head. Gabriel told me the other day that Jonny was his best friend, so he’s probably wondering why he doesn’t know me.

“I’m Yara,” I finally whisper. “I don’t have a phone and he’s not been home yet. I just wanted to know if he was okay.”

Jonny’s mouth drops open. “You’re Yara?”

“Yes,” I say.

“Yara Hendricks?”

I nod again. “Yes.”

“Fuck,” he breathes.

“What?” I look around, wondering why he looks like he’s seen a ghost.

“Yara,” he repeats.

I like how he holds my stare. Not like everyone else in this village. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” he says quickly, straightening himself up. “You’re not what I was expecting, that’s all.”

I frown, not understanding what he means by that. But I have more important things to worry about. “Have you spoken to Gabriel?”

“Only briefly. He’s pretty upset. He and Jasmine didn’t have the best relationship, to be honest, but well, you know, they’re siblings and you kinda have a weird bond with them whether you want to or not.”

I wouldn’t know, but I nod anyway as I pull some money from my purse. “Do you know when he’ll be back home?”

“In a couple of hours.”

Not long
. “Okay. Thanks for the drink.” I push the money toward him and hop off the stool.

“Shall I tell him you were asking after him?”

“No,” I say sadly. “But could you just tell him that I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” He frowns. “What are you sorry for?”

“I have to go. It was nice to finally meet you.” I turn around and run as fast as I can out of the bar and all the way home.

 

 

 

Gabriel

 

I turn away from my mum’s heartbroken, grief-stricken face and look out the window of the taxi. The trees and hills that litter the distance of our pathetic little village still look the same to me. Jasmine’s death hasn’t hit me anywhere near as hard as it’s hit my mum, and I’m scared that she’ll see that and be disappointed in me.

Maybe I’m in shock, or perhaps I’m still angry at Jasmine because of the way she tortured and bullied Yara. Jasmine was a horrible person, and maybe that’s why I don’t feel sad that my sister just died. Or maybe I’m just a heartless bastard.

“I know what you’re thinking,” my mum stammers as she begins to sob.

I doubt it.
“I don’t think we need to say anything, Mum.”

“I do,” she says. “Jasmine was awful at times, and I know you two didn’t get on, but she was a lovely little girl once.”

“Mum…” I begin, wondering if I should be honest with her or not. “I’m sure you loved her no matter what,” I say, finally turning to face her. “I’m just in shock, that’s all.”

She nods. “What she did to poor Yara was unforgivable, but she must have just gotten in with the wrong crowd at school or something.”

“Don’t do this, Mum. Don’t try and make excuses for her. She was what she was, and no one is going to judge you for grieving your only daughter.”

She squeezes my hand and sniffs. “I guess it’s just the two of us now, Gabriel.”

I swallow the huge lump in my throat and squeeze her hand back. “I’m sure Dad’s having stern words with her up there about her recent behaviour,” I say, feeling the decade-old ache swell in my chest.

When the taxi pulls up at our house, Mum nods toward the phone in my hand. “Oh no, I forgot about Yara. Have you spoken to her? Did the doctors come for her?”

“I don’t know,” I say, shaking my head. “Yara doesn’t have my number, and she told me she doesn’t know how to use a phone either.”

We pay the driver and then climb out of the car. Staring up at our house, I have no idea what’s going to happen to the two of us now. Sure, Jasmine was a pain in the arse, but she was the only one left that Mum could look after.

“I’m sorry, Mum,” I whisper as I pull her close to me. “I’m sorry I went away, and I’m sorry you seem to lose the people you love.”

She breaks down and sobs uncontrollably into my chest. I tighten my grip around her and let her cry until she has no more tears left. When she’s done, she sniffs and then straightens, nodding up at the house behind me.

Mum tucks a piece of her blond hair behind her ear and sighs deeply. “I should go in and call your Aunties and Uncles.”

“I’ll help,” I say, because I don’t know what else I can do. “I’m sure I saw your old address book in the messy drawer the other day.”

She turns and gives me a small, sad smile, and then I see her eyes move to something behind me.

“Hi, Mrs King. I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you, Jonny,” she says, patting his shoulder as he comes to stand next to me. “And thank you for being here for Gabriel.

“It’s no problem.”

“You stay out here for a minute or two,” Mum says, giving me a look.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she says, patting my cheek with her palm. “I just need a minute to myself.”

“Okay.”

We both stand and watch as she walks into the house.

Jonny turns to me and pulls me into a hug. “I’m so sorry, man. I don’t have the first fucking idea what to say to you.”

“It’s alright,” I tell him, giving him a manly pat on the back.

“I wouldn’t have come so soon,” he says, pulling away from me, “only I thought you should know something.

“What?” I ask, noticing how he’s shuffling on his feet.

“I saw Yara.”

“Where?”

“At the bar. She was there a few hours ago.”

“She was in the bar?” I ask, confused.

“Yeah, she was asking about Jasmine. And when you’d be back home.”

Oh
. “Okay,” I say, “and what did you tell her?”

“The truth,” he says, wiping some sweat off his top lip with the back of his hand. “I didn’t know I shouldn’t.”

I frown at him. “Why would you not tell her the truth?”

“Because she was acting weird.”

I roll my eyes. “Not you as well.”

“No, man, not in that way. She told me to tell you that she was sorry.”

What?
“Why would she tell you that?”

“Exactly,” he says. “She sounded like she was bailing, Gabe.”

Fuck
.

“Come with me,” I tell him as I grab at his shirt.

“Alright, alright,” he says, batting my hand away. “Where are we going?”

“To Yara’s.”

“Really?”

“Come on!” I call as I start to run around the back of my house. “It’ll be quicker through the garden.”

“Why are we running? What is it that you think she’s done?”

“I don’t know,” I huff as I break into a sprint.

When we’re at her house, I yank on the back door like I’ve always done, but it’s locked. “Shit,” I say. “Let’s try the front.”

“Obviously,” Jonny says.

I jab him in his side for that stupid comment. When we get to the front, we stop in our tracks. My eyes trail over the black Mercedes that’s parked by Yara’s gate.

“Is that her?” Jonny tugs at me until we’re standing at the end of the path.

I see a flash of pale hair through the tinted windows and I bolt towards the car just as a man stands in front of me, blocking Yara from my view.

“Mr King,” he says. His voice is smooth. Professional.

“Yes,” I answer. I try to peer around him to see Yara, but he keeps blocking me. “Who are you?”

“My name is Doctor Jean-Luc Francois.”

“Jean-Luc Francois. Really?”

“Oui,” he says. I take a good look at him and realise he’s not a doctor at all. Doctors wouldn’t have tattoos all up their necks or look like they spend every moment of every day at the gym. And I’m betting Francois isn’t his real fucking name either.

“Get out of my way,” I say, feeling like the world has started to spin in the opposite direction.

“What the hell is going on?” asks Jonny. “And who the fuck are you?”

I don’t wait for the idiot to answer. I try to push him aside so I can get to the door—so I can get to Yara—but he pushes my shoulder with ridiculous strength and I stagger backwards.

“What the fuck?” asks Jonny, steadying me.

“I’m in the process of transferring Miss Hendricks to a mental institute. As neither of you are family, I have no reason to reveal the whereabouts of this institute, and Miss Hendricks hasn’t given me permission to divulge it.”

“This is bollocks,” I spit. “Move out of my way.”

“No,” the guy says.

I feel like everything is falling apart. The images in front of me are wobbling, and I can feel my whole body shaking as I stare at the car.

“I mean it,” I threaten. “Get the fuck out of my way.”

“No.”

Fuck this.
I swing my fist and punch the bastard in his gut. It’s like punching stone, and I immediately pull my hand back, wincing at the pain.
Shit, that hurt
.

“All legal issues have been taken care of,” the guy says, acting like I haven’t just punched him with all my might.

He finally moves and starts to walk to the front of the car, and then I see Yara’s face staring back at me. “Yara,” I breathe, pressing my hand against the cool glass. “Don’t do this.”

I see a single tear fall down her cheek and then she mouths ‘
I’m sorry’
before turning away from me.

“No,” I shout as the car starts to move away. “Yara!” The car picks up speed, and I sprint to try and keep up with it. I hit the glass as my legs struggle to keep up. “Don’t do this. Please, Yara!” I know I’m acting like a loser, but I don’t care. She can’t leave me. Not now. Not after everything.

I bang on the glass again, but I know I’m running out of time. “Stay. Please, stay,” I beg. The car screeches away and I slump to the ground.

The last thing I see before the car completely disappears is Yara’s hand pressed against the rear glass window.

 

 

 

Yara

 

I try to hold onto my sobs as they splutter in my chest. I never thought it would be possible to feel your life restart and then completely end within the space of a couple of hours, but that’s exactly what’s happened to me this morning.

I’ve shattered Gabriel’s family, and I’ve done it because I broke my promise to never hit back. Granny said I was stupidly strong and I guess she was right. And I know running away from what I’ve done is wrong, but I don’t want them to
ever
know that I was the cause of all their pain..

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