Chasing Mrs. Knightly (Chasing #5: Chasing Epilogue) (7 page)

“Open your eyes
. Look me in the eye and fuck me like you mean it. I know you want to.”

His words snapped me out of my dream, and when I did open my eyes, the void I saw in his made me feel ill.

“I can’t do this.” I tried to get off him, but his hands took hold of my hips and pulled me firmly onto his cock. “I can’t—” A loud moan escaped me as my pussy rejoiced from pleasure.

“Ride it until you’ve emptied my cock
. To the very last drop. That’s the only way I’m letting you get off it.” He was really being vicious.

“But that could mean a few more times.” He was insatiable
; one session wasn’t ever enough for him.

“Best you get on with it so we can be rid of each other.”

The Point of No Return

Blake

She rode me three times in a row
, one succession after the other, screaming and moaning as she had multiple orgasms around me. Sweat broke around her brows as she panted heavily, eyes dazed and heavy as she tried to breathe.

“Caro…
I’m tired.”

Caro. One word
, and yet, it tugged at my heartstrings. I had been feeling quite shitty for the past few days, and I’d thought that it would be better to give her some space because I, too, needed it. Tonight, I had actually planned to come home and ask if we could talk about us and where we go from there. I had also meant to ask for her forgiveness because I had been wrong to even ask it of her, knowing well that I’d made a promise. However, she had gone beyond temperamental and mentioned divorce.

Thus
, when I hung up the phone, I scouted the bar for a woman with the brightest lipstick on and paid her a hundred quid to leave lipstick marks on me. I wanted to drive Sienna insane with jealousy, yet the woman had gone far and beyond.

Divorce for a baby.

I had never in my life felt such trepidation for my own sanity. Sienna’s harsh, accusing words about other women I could tolerate, but what I couldn’t fathom was how she had thrown around the word divorce as if it wasn’t of consequence. I, for one, never dreamt of the day it would even be considered between us. My wife, however, seemed to have thought of it, or it wouldn’t have come out of her Godforsaken mouth in the first place.

I wanted to be
cruel, therefore I had told her I wouldn’t dare divorce her even if she killed me for it. Then, when she sounded unfazed by it all, I had dug it a little deeper, where I knew it would frazzle her. That was all it had been, merely words to me. I hadn’t thought I’d truly go through with it until I came home and she threatened to sleep with my cousin.

That was truly gutting to hear her say. Kyle
? Well, that was already a given. I knew she’d run to him even before she said it. But
Clive
? Never. Besides, it wasn’t as if Clive could resist Sienna because, once she put her mind to seduction, she would be lethal to anyone’s libido.

I wanted to hate Sienna
. I truly did, but my heart wouldn’t let me.

I cared, yet I somehow had shut off my emotions in fear that I’d become the bloody idiotic fool I was for her
. I always was where she was concerned. Conversely, maybe there was a major part of me that had wanted to see her chase me, to prove she loved me the way I did her. Yet, as the days had gone on, with no effort coming from her, I had somehow given up on hoping she would at least meet me halfway. I had married her because I’d thought I had found what my father had found with my mother—unconditional love, devotion, and loyalty.

It was hard to admit it but I think I might’ve been mistaken on believing that.

We
’d just had sex triple times without any form of protection, including her birth control. I had wanted a baby with her before, but the thought of conceiving it when she wanted a divorce… That would be challenging. I could fight her to stay, but then again, it would only be temporary because, either way, if she wanted to be free, she was going to find a way to do it.

“Take me to bed
,” she whispered before collapsing on my chest, her hand loosely on my neck as I fought the urge to kiss her.

Taking a few steady breaths, I held her against my body as I lifted us both from the steps and paved
our way towards our bedroom. Once in there, I strode to the vast bed, depositing her right in the middle, swarmed with shams and pillows.

I stared at her spent form as I felt the immediate rush of excitement towards my groin. Even in dire circumstances, I w
ould always be hungry for her.

“Stay…” she murmured before she slowly lifted her eyes open
then reached for my hand to tug me closer. “I was only taking a break. Give me half an hour, and I should be good as new.”

No more sex
, I thought without hesitation. We couldn’t solve everything with sex. But I would stay, just for tonight.

Joining her in our marital bed, my head
had barely hit the pillows when she crawled towards me and placed her head on my chest before releasing a big sigh.

“I was pregnant last year…” she murmured, momentarily making me freeze as I realized what she
’d just uttered.

Huh
? Was she dreaming? “When?” I asked skeptically.

She took a deep breath. “Right after the attack…
a week before we left for Rome. I didn’t even have a clue until the nurse told me I was losing the baby.”

Christ, this was even before we had gotten married.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I wasn’t angry; no, far from it. I suddenly mourned the loss of our child as I pictured Sienna walking down the aisle on our wedding day.

“You were recovering from your wound…” she sniffed. “And losing it made me feel like a failure
. I was terrified you’d leave me because I wasn’t doing a great job of being a mother.”

“But you had no idea you were pregnant then—”

She hesitantly sat, wiping her tears away. “I didn’t, yet I couldn’t help feeling like I had let you and the baby down. There was so much going on then that trying to forget about what occurred to me seemed pretty easy. But each time you mentioned the word baby, I couldn’t help cringing because I’m horrible at being a mom, and I didn’t want you to see that.” She pauses. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…”

“So am I
,” I said wretchedly. Had I known about it, I wouldn’t have pressured her the way I had in the first place.

But we were still stuck in this predicament. Even with this revelation, I
doubted it could make any difference at all.

The Ghost of You

Sienna

My best kept secret was a secret no longer.

“Where does this leave us?” The thought of not having him in my life drove a sword in
to my soul. How idiotic was I to provoke him when I felt too much of everything at once? I was too insecure, too jealous, too in love, too emotional—too much of everything I could think of. I was this and that and then some. The heaviness of my regret seemed to suffocate me as I waited for his response. And when he did, I felt so alone.

“Same as where we were an hour ago. Nothing’s changed, Sienna. There are some things that are too hurtful to even take back.”

“I know… I know that now.” I begged with everything I had, “I’m immature, I get that, but please, just don’t give up on me yet. I didn’t mean it—the divorce—I’m sorry.” I didn’t even bother with the tears because I was past it. I was hysterically upset as everything started to take root in my heart. “I love you, and if you don’t believe it, I’ll gladly prove it by having your child. Please just give me another chance.” Nothing mattered anymore. Without Blake, I’d be lost again, wondering what my purpose was in all of this. With him, I felt like I could accomplish anything. He was the power behind my will. His undying belief that I could do anything made me feel and believe it. “Don’t leave me…” I’d lose my other half. I’d lose half of my soul. How the fuck did I function if I had only half of my heart? Half of everything I was? I just couldn’t. I just fucking couldn’t.

“You don’t want a baby, Sienna
, so please don’t insult my intelligence by saying you’d willingly change your mind because you felt responsible for lighting the fire.” He gazed at me with sadness, but it was obvious his mind was already set.

I hadn’t realized how much I wanted
a baby until tonight, until I finally knew I was losing him.

I wrapped my arms around m
y stomach as I tried to get a hold of myself, totally failing. “One more chance.”

“Sienna—”

“You owe me that at least. One more, and if you remain unhappy, I’d willingly let you go myself.”

He looked away, thinking
, and then… “Why do you do this?” he grounded out, impatient. “Do you enjoy the misery? Do you miss it when it’s gone? Because, from where I’m standing, it’s quite certain that you seek all types of turmoil and upheaval. I’m getting too old for these types of shenanigans, Sienna. I’m at the point in my life where I want a sensible wife, children. I want a bloody family! It was all I wanted from you, and yet, you kept pushing me off as if my dreams were about to ruin you.”

“I’m sorry…”

He shook his head. “Sorry isn’t enough for the damage you’ve caused. Sometimes, sorry is just an excuse for someone to repeat their mistakes. You don’t know how to love without stipulations. I cannot keep conditioning myself to fit into your lifestyle. It’s enough.” His words had finality in them, and I knew with every fiber in me that it was close to impossible to change his mind. It was better to leave it alone than keep grating him about the subject.

“Okay
, I guess this is it then.”

He
kept his eyes on me, but I couldn’t bare looking at him for a full minute without feeling like my insides were being ripped apart by his own hands.

“When do you want me to move out?” I asked in between tears
as I slid off the bed and went inside my walk-in closet. I needed a robe to cover my body because I felt ashamed for all the things I had done tonight. I deserved this, therefore I might as well not deny how wrong I had been.

Taking out a black robe, I haphazardly tied it around me just as I walked out of the closet. Blake remained in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling before he lowered
his eyes down to look at me.

“Tell me what you want…
I’d gladly give it to you,” he said. Before I had the chance to reply, he continued, “I’m giving you this house and whatever property you want that’s mine. You can also take half of my money if that makes you happy. You can have a jet, a stake at the company, and whatever business endeavors I have accumulated during the span of our short marriage.”

I wanted to cry because he truly believed I would take him to the cleaners. This was
what we had come to. It was sad and pathetic.

“I don’t want any of that
. Just give me the papers to sign, and I’ll do it as long as you do don’t give me a single pence.”

My light-hearted intentions of wanting to talk went out the window. There was no point a
nymore. I had realized that the second he opened his mouth, yapping garbage out of it.

Striding back into the closet, I pulled
out a medium-sized weekend bag and shoved everything I needed in it to get away somewhere.

Where
is my passport?
I looked around and finally found it in the bottom drawer.

“Don’t you think it’s too late to be heading somewhere?”
His voice came up behind me, but I didn’t have the energy to look at him.

“Just stop
. Let’s not do this. Don’t pretend you care where I go or what I’ll do. Just stop.”

“Stay in the house
; it’s yours anyway. I’ll go and leave you be.”

He was being so infuriating, acting nonchalant and being stupidly magnanimous about ev
erything. His indifference made me chuck my sunglasses case towards him before he caught it with one hand.

Before I knew it, I was throwing everything I could find at him
; a pen, my purse, a wallet, my make-up kit. You name it, I threw at him.

“Sienna! Stop acting like a goddamn child!” he yelled at me.

“Fuck you.” I didn’t care anymore.

My engagement ring along with my wedding band caught my eye before
my vision blurred as I reached out to them.

“Here are your lies, Blake.
Till death do we part, asshole.” I threw them over his head, hitting the mirrors, while he stared at me in horror. “There.
Now,
we’re really over.”

“Have you lost you
r—”

“
My mind?
” I shrilled at him. “Yes, I’ve fucking lost it! I hate you!” I grunted at him, and when he didn’t say another damn word, my insanity worsened. “I fucking hate—” I was about to shove him out of the way when he clasped both of his hands on my shoulders and roughly shoved me against the wall. “
I hate yo
u. I hate you!”

“Sienna—”

“No! Don’t you dare Sienna me, you impotent—”
bastard
, I meant to finish, but he kissed me to shut me up, and I loathed him even more. “Get off me. I don’t want you,” I yelped in between his kisses. “Stop…” God, why did he have to kiss so fucking good?

“No
, you’ve said enough,” he growled the words harshly against my lips. “I have had enough.” He swiftly lifted me against the wall before I felt his hardness slip in between my thighs, heading straight into my pussy.

“Baby,” I moaned as tears filmed my eyes once more.

He kissed me through my tears as he pounded me harder. Then, just as I was about to come, he pulled out of me before he lifted me up and headed towards the dresser.

“On your knees
,” he commanded the second I was deposited on the cushioned bench right before the mirrored wall of my dresser. “Eyes glued to the mirror. I want you to see what I do to you.”

When
I did as he asked, he gave me an approving, heavy-handed slap on my behind. He then positioned himself behind me before he took hold of my hair, yanking it as he slid his cock into me.

“This is the only time you obey me…
when I’m fucking you senseless.”

My abilities were mostly impaired because he was utterly massive. What the heck did he expect?

“If I give you another chance,” he hissed into my ear while I erotically watched our reflection. “There will be no more running away. Our marriage isn’t a game where you can up and leave whenever you want. You need to grow up and admit you’ve made a mistake.”

His other hand went around my neck
as he plunged deeper into my core. I moaned and groaned in oblivion.

“You have to give me your all
, Sienna. I won’t settle for anything else.”

“I promise
. I’ll be better this time around,” I gasped as he shifted to a different angle, hitting me straight on my sensitive spot.

“Blake! God
! Oh, God. What are you doing to me…?” I was stammering like an idiot and I didn’t care because my orgasm was about to explode. And when it did, he didn’t stop at one.

“I love you
, caro.”

I was so out of it
, but it didn’t stop him from using me until he was done and ready to release his seed into my womb.

“I love you so fucking much
,” he swore. “Don’t you dare ever forget it the next time you feel reckless and destructive.”

This man’s patience
for me was that of a saint. I was simply grateful he had at least given me another chance before giving up on me.

I knew he loved me
, and I knew it would probably break him had I truly walked out on him. However, I needed him to show some kind of emotion because his detachment drove me mad. It drove me to say and do things I didn’t mean. I was childish; I wasn’t going to deny that; it was how I dealt with my usual problems. I was slowly learning to do things differently, and I would eventually get there, one day.

F
or this moment, though, I simply wanted to savor the feel of my husband making love to me over and over again, as if he was a man who wanted to prove something to himself. It was comforting to see that his hunger for me was intact. For a moment there, I had truly feared I had lost this bit of him.

It was funny how we fought like we were about to kill each other
then, the next day, we would wake up as if we just arrived on our honeymoon, and we couldn’t get enough of each other.

I wasn’t going to lie. The make-up part made fighting just a little sweeter
, not that I was planning on anything crazy anytime soon.