CHERISH (80 page)

“I’ve never told the truth to anyone. I’ve always lied. I’ve always held something back. I don’t know why, I just do. It just feels safer. I’m sorry about that, I am. But, I knew if I told you, you’d leave. I’ve done awful things. I killed your
family
—” Her voice breaks and tears explode down her cheeks. “That was
me,
Beckett. You won’t ever be able to live with that. I can’t.”

Her cheeks darken with the coursing tears, and the pain in her voice feels like it’s ripping me open.

“
I
can live with it. I will because that’s not what matters. I made you promises, and I’m here to keep them. I’m not the premium package myself. I’ve never been able to love anyone before, but I love you. I love you like the word was made for us. But, I’ve never done this before. I got fucking scared, babe.
Scared
. So, it’s on me, okay? I’m here to be your champion, your anchor. The place you call home. I failed
you
.”

I’m falling again. Plunging into whatever she is. I fall into her with a
whoosh
, and I never want to come back up for air. I want to live here inside this moment when I see that flicker in her eyes, the one reserved just for when she looks at me.

The first upward curve of her lips lights me up like a fucking rocket, and I’ve got her swooped up out of that chair against me before she changes her mind.

She lights up the room with a squeal. Her fists raise a pitiful fight as the crowd in front of us forgets their squabble and the room ignites with applause and Promise’s wind-chime laughter.

“I never realized how handsome you’d look in your uniform.” She’s looking me in the eye, and I want to tell her she just saved my life. “You’re going all Richard Gere on me.” Her voice is like a love potion, and it’s running straight down into my dick.

“What do you think, folks? Should she take me back?” I spin around and give the ten members of my support group a smile.

There are giggles and the room fills with “yes” and “awwww
.”

“You’re an idiot, Captain Fitzgerald.” Promise’s voice is light, and I feel the weight of our combined grief lifting.

“So does that mean you’ll take me back?” All I can do is stare at her lips, waiting to see if they form the word I need to hear.

“Yes, idiot.”

Our fan club lights up the room with more claps and cheers. But, I’m not done. I wasn’t sure how this little reunion was going to go, but I’ve got her where I want her, and I decide it’s go-big-or-go-home time.

“Okay, ladies!” I try to get the little group back on my team with a smile and a wink. “I have one more question.” I grin at Promise and set my lips quickly onto hers, trying to memorize how she tastes at this moment.

“What are you doing now?” She bites her lip to stop her grin. She’s trying to be so serious. She knows something is coming, and she tightens her arms around my neck. I’ve still got her held against me, her feet a foot off the floor.

“This is important.” I clear my throat and wait for the room to go quiet. The group sets eyes on me, and I feel my throat tighten.

Go time.

“Okay. You guys are my good luck charm. So, here’s the next question for all of you.” I take a deep breath, and I know she must be able to feel the way my heart is cracking my damn ribs right now. I can barely keep my voice from shaking. “Do you think . . .”

I look down and her eyes narrow, the wheels turning in her head, wondering what I’m up to.

The group leans forward in unison, and I give Promise a quick lift in my arms to bring her nose to nose with me.

Deep breath.

Everything is in slow motion. I focus. I don’t want there to be any doubt about what I’m about to ask. Finally, I clear my throat and stare down at the girl that holds me inside her heart. “Do you think she should marry me?”

The group lights up again, but I don’t hear them. I’m staring at her. Waiting to see something in her eyes, whatever it is.

I detect the flush of blood under her skin. I can feel it, the possessive predator in me sending me signals just from the change in her heartbeat.

“Is that how you ask me to marry you?” Her rebuke lacks sincerity, and I think I’m about to grab the damn brass ring.

“Yes. Reach into my inside pocket.” I nod down toward the right side of my chest.

Her hand comes down from around my neck, and I set her gently on the ground. I feel every movement of her fingers. Wherever she touches me, she leaves a trail of warmth.

She dips inside my jacket, the row of medals moving as she digs inside.

She slowly draws the small, white, velvet, drawstring bag out. It’s embroidered with the word “Promise” in the same blue as her eyes.

Her hands are shaking as she cradles the little bag like it’s alive.

I lift it from her palm, loosen the strings opening it, and take her left hand. Dropping to a knee, I say a little prayer.

Alright, God. You’ve had your fun, now I need you to have my back.

“Babe, I’ve known you were mine since the first moment I saw you. And, I’m no one if I’m not yours.” The lump in my throat is the size of a watermelon, and I choke on the last four words. “Will you marry me?””

She looks at the ceiling, and I feel like I’m sinking into the floor. Her cheeks turn bright, and I start to count the seconds, waiting for her lips to move.

“
Babe
. . . don’t make me beg.” I break into a huge smile and turn my eyes toward the silent crowd awaiting her answer, then just as quickly, I’m back on her.

Her eyelashes flutter and finally her eyes land on mine, full of wavering tears ready to spill over. My body is hot and cold, shaking and paralyzed as each second feels like years.

“You’re impossible.” I’m pretty sure her lips turn up at the corners, and every cell in my body explodes. “I
should
make you beg, but I won’t. Not in front of all these people. Yes, dang it. Yes, I’ll marry you, you idiot—”

I don’t wait for more words. I slip the ring on her finger. I went big, and she hardly notices. I should be pissed, I mean, I went five karats, that’s a lot of years of hazard pay, but what the fuck do I care? But, I’m not pissed, I love her more because she wouldn’t have reacted any differently if I’m come out with a brown chip of a diamond on a copper band.

I’ve got her around the waist, up and onto me with my lips, giving her no chance to change her mind.

I carry her out of the cheering room and down the hall, engraving her “yes” right onto my heart.

Bruce is giving us a long, slow clap as we come down the hall toward the front door.

“You gonna get her stuff out of my apartment again?” He raises both eyebrows before busting out a laugh. “You’re both a mess.”

With that, he shakes his head and is off. Walking as fast as most people run. His mouth already four subjects down the road, and we are long forgotten.

I settle her feet back on the ground, taking her left hand and admiring how the platinum band shines against her pale skin.

“You’re giving me goosebumps,” Promise says wistfully as I trace my fingertips over the ring and up her arm.

“You’re giving me heart palpitations.” I smile then hug her into my side.

I can only explain what I feel for her as fierce, abiding love. I’m a warrior for her.

For us.

Since the night the fire stole everything from me, I have never felt at home. Until now. She’s my home, and I will breathe my last breath making a happy one for us.

Beckett

I’m trying to be quiet, but it’s impossible.

I love her sounds.

God, I love them.

She’s the only woman who can make me moan as loud as she does and I’m not even inside her yet.

“Like that, babe?”

I slide one finger down through the soft warmth and slip inside her, feeling the delicious clutch of her walls. My mouth just left her tits with her nipples hard and high, and she’s uttering intelligible nonsense, just the way I like it.

Her back arches off the bed.

“God, you’re so wet. I love you wet.” A low groan escapes my chest as I sink two fingers deep, listening, feeling and watching how beautiful she is like this.

I sink my face into the crook of her shoulder, making a long, slow trail of alternating kisses and licks up the stretched tendon of her distended neck.

My fingers are working. Devilishly teasing her slowly, in and out, increasing my speed and friction until I see her legs spread to their limit, giving me all of her.

“That’s it . . . good girl.”

My thumb traces over her hard nub, spinning and pushing until I hear a continuous line of “oh my god’s” and “please, please don’t stop’s.”

This is the moment I live for. Right now.

A rush of moisture floods my hand as her body trembles and her mouth forgets how to form words. She is primitive, instinctual and completely mine.

She cums with a raspy whimper that turns to near sobs as I sink teeth into flesh. Leaving a deep, rose-colored mark on her shoulder before lowering my face and replacing my thumb with my lips, kissing her to another climax as I taste the wicked flavor that haunts my dreams.

I hum into her clit as I kiss and suck. “Good girl.”

Neither of us wants the day to begin, but it must. Not before I settle her mind, though. It’s six am, and I woke her with my kisses.

My cock is never far from ready for her even when I’m asleep, but today, I’m as hard as I’ve ever been. Not just because she is still as stunning to me today as she was four months ago when she gave me the honor of taking her the first time, but because today I get to help her face her demons. The protective beast in me is on its highest alert, and that always translates straight to my ever-vigilant dick.

I give her soft strokes up and down her body, letting her take a moment, and my eyes glide over her near-translucent skin, drinking her in even in the dim light.

We’ve fallen in a dance of pure joy day to day. She wanders the loft, unaware of how beautiful she is naked and without the former, self-conscious questions that plagued her mind.

When we are here alone, she wears nothing but her smile, or a rose-colored, satin robe on occasion. I want her like this with nothing between us, completely and utterly mine, and what I give her in return is all of me. Every second of every day, my mind wanders and races with how to make her life better—what is best for her, how to give her pleasure. How to keep her from harm.

I take care of what’s mine.

Her body goes slack, and I turn her to her side, slipping behind her as our bodies arc like puzzle pieces into each other.

My hand is slick, and I gently curl a finger around the tight ring of muscle where I intend to press inside, and I hear her muffled, seductive moan.

“You want it?” I gather more of her juices onto my fingers and make sure she is soaking my cock as I glide it between her legs, through her folds, back and forth, until my length is as wet as my fingers.

She gives me a slow nod and lets her head fall back onto me as I guide the head of my slick cock slowly into her ass. It took a month for me to ready her body for this. Taught her the joy of it with my fingers first, bringing her to shuddering, crying orgasms so she understood all the new ways her body could yield to me, and in turn, gave her pleasure like she never imagined.

Two months later and she begs for it, loves the way I take her from behind, filling her ass with every inch.

One of her hands drifts behind her head to touch my cheek as I enter her with slow, steady pressure.

“God, babe . . .” My voice almost cracks when she presses her hips back, urging me forward.

“Oh God . . .” She sighs and shifts her hips so that I slide in another inch, stretching her around my thickness.

She whimpers in exquisite pain. She’s learned to straddle the gap between the light and dark. The pleasure and pain. And, it’s become a part of us.

The sting of my hand, the choke of her throat, the pull of her hair . . . they are as much a part of our love as our kisses. She is a true woman, and I am loathe to take any part of her for granted.

We are arms and thrusts and wanting as our bodies move and stroke each other. I’m almost fully seated inside her ass when I increase the rhythm of my strokes.

“Oh god,
Beck
. . .”

I lift her leg, gaining momentum and access, and my own breath is coming fast, in and out, as my cock dares me to hold back.

“Good girl, my good girl likes it. Take it, babe . . .” I lift my head so I can watch her face because that is what I live for.

Her cries of pleasure tell me I’m spot-on reading her signals, and I know what she needs. Faster and faster, I’m filling her until she’s near tears, but it’s the pain she craves. The way her body stretches and allows me all of her while I give her what she wants.

“So beautiful . . .”

She cums with a pulsing shudder, the magical sounds ringing in my ears as she grips the fabric of the pillow and bites down with an orgasm that feels as close to heaven as humans can get.

“Yes babe, cum . . . That’s your job, to cum for me.” I growl into her ear and set my dick as deep as I can, the flesh of my hips grinding into the soft curves of her ass, one hand cupping her tit with my fingers pinching her hard peak to send her into another rippling wave of bliss.