Cherished: True Mates Book 5 (BBW Wolf Shifter Romance) (A Craggstone Paranormal Romance) (11 page)

“So this is the man you’re fucking?”

“Don’t speak to her like that,” Oliver snarled.

“That’s the one who fucked me up,” Gary snarled, looking like he wanted to kill someone.

I laid a hand on Oliver’s arm. “It doesn’t matter, I’ve heard worse.” And I had, a
lot
worse. Bert liked to keep us terrified, whispering threats and stories of what he would do to us, preparing us days in advance of his visit, so by the time it was our turn we’d do anything just to please him, to stay on his good side.

“You’re fucking my mate?” It was a challenge, Bert’s eyes flashing liquid gold as his wolf surfaced.

I stumbled back, memories ricocheting around inside my head, tearing through me and shredding my grip on reality. Those eyes looming over me, pain spearing me, hands pinning me, suffocating me. I couldn’t move my hands! He had bound me again, tied me up, helpless!

“Ana! Stop it, please!”

I could hear the voice calling to me, but all I could see were those eyes,
his
eyes as he licked the blood from my skin, laughing as I cried, as I tried to fight, mocking my futile efforts.
Weak!
He would snarl.

“Ana!”

“Let me go, let me go, let me go!” I screamed, trying to wrench my hands free to get away.

“You’ll hurt yourself. It’s Oliver, just look at me!”

My eyes flashed open, his face filling my vision, blocking everything out but him.

“Oliver?” His name was a whimper, a plea to understand.

“You were hurting yourself, clawing at your neck, your wrists. I...I had to hold you.”

I looked down as the binding around my wrists loosened. Oliver’s hands slipping away, distress plain on his face.

I hated to see it there, knowing I had been the one to cause it. He’d done nothing to me, dammit! I twisted my lip between my teeth, trying to separate the memories from the present. He’d only shown me kindness and compassion, and what did I give him? Not thanks. Nope. I either stonewalled him or fell apart in his arms, no middle ground. I was a fucking
mess
.

Oliver squinted at me. “What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”

“That I’m a mess,” I answered, and it felt good to finally admit it. I looked around in surprise. We were outside, my panic attack having driven us back out into the open. I took a deep gulp of fresh air, trying to ease the burning in my lungs.

“That makes two of us.”

“But why are you—”

“You think I don’t have things in my past that don’t eat at me? Tear me apart?”

“You don’t have something like Bert.” It was petty, but I had to make him see just how
much
of a mess I was.

Oliver averted his eyes, seeming to stare off into the night. A blankness stole over his face, his profile hardening in the weak moonlight. “I have my dad.” His hand twitched where it rested on his knee, the fingers curling in the only outward sign of his emotions.

Reaching out, I curled my hand around his, like he had done many times for me.

“He was a human and my mom was a shifter.” The words came out slow, as though he were dragging them from a deep memory, one he had tried to forget. “My dad was in love with my mom, even though she was a shifter. Through the bond he controlled her, not allowing her to shift, making her into someone she wasn’t. She couldn’t fight it. She loved him. He was her true mate.”

Human and shifter. Like us.

I nearly asked him to stop, to not reveal his demons, but what kind of woman would that make me? I squeezed his hand, urging him to finish.

“She bore him a son. Me. He loved me at first, but when he found out I was a shifter too he sent me away. Permanently. Ana, he sold me.” His voice broke, a glimpse of the child of his past peeking through. “He sterilized her and that was that.”

What the hell?
What kind of animal does that? Then it hit me. A
human
did this. Not a shifter, a human.

“How old were you?” It was irrelevant, but I wanted to picture him in my mind so I could hold the image of him as a child close, as though I could somehow give him all the love he had missed out on.

“Five.”

A year younger than Josh. Old enough to love, to understand what was happening, to grieve the loss of his parents, to feel the rejection.

“I would
never
give up my child,” the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. I was fuming on his behalf, furious at his dad
and
his mom. How could she have let this happen?

“It was the bond.”

Should I argue or let him continue thinking his mom hadn’t had a choice? I decided to let it go, for now. He would figure it out for himself eventually. Or not. Either way, nothing could change what had already happened.

Like nothing could change what had already happened in my life.
I couldn’t erase Bert from my past, and I wouldn’t, because without him I wouldn’t have Josh. And nothing anybody could tell me would make the past easier to live with. But I could choose how to live my life from now on and what prejudices I chose to carry with me into my new life. I needed to start trusting myself again, and those around me.

Time for a blank slate.

In a whirl of arms and legs I threw myself at Oliver, his arms coming up in reflex to catch me, holding me tight.

“I’m so sorry for what they did to you,” I said, gripping his face in my hands, wanting him to
see
how much I meant it. “But you can’t let what happened to you define you. I’m starting to understand that to be the woman I want to be, I’ve got to let the past go. Will you let go with me?” I lowered my lips to his, my first time initiating a kiss, butterflies dancing in my stomach.

Apart from the initial gasp of surprise, he remained passive under my hands, his eyes locked on my lips as they lowered, seeking his.

Heat collided, a soft hesitation of glancing lips. My tongue darted out, licking across the seam of his mouth, a silent request to which he complied. I pressed a little harder, confidence blooming within as I licked, coaxing his tongue to play.

Our breath merged as I tilted my head, deepening the kiss, growing more adventurous with each groan I dragged from him.

An owl hooted in the distance, our ragged breaths crashing through the silence, the moonlight bathing us, insulating us from the world.

Breaking away, I kept his face gripped between my hands, marveling at the look in his eyes. I had put that there. Me!

“Will you let go of the past with me?” I repeated.

His hands came up to cup my face in a mirror image of my own. Stroking his thumb down my cheek, he replied, “You lead, and I will follow you. Anywhere, my love.”

My chest hitched at his words and what they could mean.

He chuckled, a low, delighted sound. “It might be too soon for you, but for me, I know. From the minute I saw you, I lusted for you. Then when I got to know you, and discovered what a courageous, loving, kindhearted woman you were, that’s when I wanted you as my friend. Sometime between that and uncovering your feisty sass, I fell in love. That we’re true mates is a bonus. I would choose you anyway. I love you, Ana Arlington, and I’m never letting
you
go.”

He loved me!
And, wow! That was some speech!

He closed my gaping mouth with his thumb, laughing out loud now. “And don’t think you’ll be getting that out of me again. I have no idea where it came from! But it’s true.”

My reply stuck in my throat. I wanted to say the words, I truly did, but something was holding me back.

Seeing the struggle on my face, he tugged me to my feet. “I’m not asking for you to say anything, just to give me a chance. Can you do that?” His voice was earnest and unsure.

“I think it’s Bert that’s holding me back—”

At the thunderous look on his face I backtracked quickly.

“No! I mean, he’s still got his claws into me, with the mating. I can’t...I need to be free of him, before…”

“I can go in there and make him renounce you.” Oliver turned to the door with every intention of striding in there and delivering on his promise.

Grabbing his hand, I pulled him back. “No. We’re letting go of the past, remember?”

“But you just said you can’t?”

“I have let go, I just have to wait for the past to let go of me. But I won’t have him tainting my future.” Trying to lighten the mood, I wriggled my eyebrows suggestively, leering at Oliver.

It seemed to do the trick, his face clearing of anger. “
Our
future.”

“Let the Council fight my corner for me, all above board and out in the open. No more secrets hidden in the dark.”

“Letting go,” Oliver murmured, dragging me into his arms. “I can live with that.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Ana

It felt funny to sleep during the day, but I had managed it, the bed like a soft cloud and Oliver’s kiss still lingering on my lips.

On our arrival back at my room, we had found Josh curled up in my bed, his gentle snores declaring to the world that he was here to stay, or at least for the night. Responsibility had dueled with hormones, and taking one look at the hesitation on my face, Oliver had kissed me goodnight, shooing me in to see my son.

And I had spent the rest of the night tossing and turning, vivid dreams of Oliver arching over me and thrusting deep inside me disrupted by Josh kicking me, or his elbow digging into my ribs, or an arm slapping me in the face.

Which was why I had slept so late. When Lisa had stuck her head around the door and asked Josh if he wanted breakfast, I could have kissed her feet. Instead I gave him a quick kiss goodbye as he scurried out of the door, then passed out into oblivion.

Now, I was awake, my arms stretching to the ceiling in an indulgent manner, toes curling, my mind trying to catch up with the fact that I was awake.

Today is the trial.
I shot upright, searching the room for a clock. Five thirty p.m.
Shit
, I really had slept all day! Shooting out of bed, I threw myself in the shower, scrubbed most of the grime off, then pulled on some clean clothes—thank you, Kara. Tugging a brush though my wet hair, I eventually gave up and hightailed it out of the room and down the stairs, slowing when I reached the last step.

Smoothing down my jeans, I took a deep breath.
Composure
. Stepping down off the last step, I walked into the main living area, my eyes immediately searching for Josh and Oliver.

Mouth dropping open in shock, I resisted the urge to rub my eyes, instead settling for rapid blinking. Oliver and Josh were at the far side of the room, their heads drawn together as they crouched over something I couldn’t quite make out.

“Evening, Ana,” Kara called from her spot on the couch, James smiling at me in welcome and adding his own greeting. Mumbling hello to everyone as I passed, I wove through the room, making my way over to where Josh was shaking his head in anger, a fierce look on his little face.

“You can’t do that!”

“Oh, I think I can,” Oliver’s reply was a low rumble, filled with amusement.

“But...but...”

“Face it. I win.”

“Again!” Josh cried, the scowl melting into a big grin as his hands eagerly swept up little chunks of wood, deftly arranging them in—

“Chess!” I exclaimed.

Oliver glanced up at me, his lips curved in a welcoming smile. “Yeah, Josh was just trying to convince me that the knight, or horsey as he likes to call it, can move in a square.”

“The rules suck, and you know it.”

“Josh!”

“Moooom, it’s true! Whoever decided that a horse could only move in an ‘L’ shape was—”

“Don’t finish that sentence, young man.” I tried to make my voice stern, to keep a straight face, but the sight of him shaking his head in complete seriousness was nearly my undoing. “So, you guys are playing chess?”

“Oliver is teaching me. It’s really cool, Mom. He was showing me how it’s all about reading your opponent and guessing their next set of moves. Like a battle!”

I raised a single eyebrow at Oliver and he shrugged. “It’s good, clean fun. Exercise for the mind.”

And not just the body
, I heard his unspoken words loud and clear.

“What time is…” I glanced at Josh, my question trailing off, but he was preoccupied, trying to remember where all the pieces went.

“We’re setting off at seven p.m. So, we’ve got another hour. Why don’t you grab something to eat from the table and come join us? There’s a buffet laid out.” He turned back to Josh, a sly tilt to his mouth. “You can watch me beat him again.”

“No way! I’ve got you figured out. You always make the same play.”

“Not this time. Remember what I said, try and read the pieces and look for patterns.”

My son nodded sagely, intense concentration furrowing his brow.