Authors: JoRae Andrews
I hug each one of them again before deciding to go back to the pond and join the others, who are starting to pile out of the water. Mom and Dad decide they’re going to go relax and let us ‘kids’ hang out for a while.
We all had so much fun today, and I don’t regret a minute of it. Everyone’s packed up and headed out either to home or the track for the race tonight. I’m sure it would’ve been so much fun, but I’m glad Ethan turned Steve and Darlene down on their invite. I’m sure there will be plenty more times we’ll watch the races together—when we figure our future out, that is. We still haven’t talked about it much; I’m guessing he doesn’t want to spoil any of our precious time any more than I do.
It’s going to kill me when I leave tomorrow.
I don’t know if I can leave him behind again,
I think for probably the hundredth time today. I was in shock when we came around the backside of the barn and saw everyone standing there shouting “Surprise!” at me. I’m so glad I was able to see all the old gang, but a little part of me is jealous that I had to share some of my time that I could’ve been wrapped up in Ethan’s arms. I know, I know; I’ll have to be without him after tomorrow anyway, which is why every second with him is so important.
We’re lying on an old flannel blanket that I’ve had for years, set on the grass out by the pond. We decided to hang out here and watch the sunset together. I’d forgotten how beautiful it was, looking out over the pond and the trees in the backside of the the pond, marking the beginning of the woods which lead to his place. Oh, the memories we’ve shared right here; I have always cherished them—cherished
him
, really.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Ethan says, running his fingers through my hair. I have my head resting on his arm, my back tight against his chest. My stomach does a little flip every single time I feel him pressed against my backside.
“Oh, nothing really. I was just thinking about how much fun I’ve had being back, you know, seeing everyone today, spending time with Mom and Dad, with you. I just don’t want it to end.”
“I know what you mean, baby. I don’t want to miss one second of having you in my arms.” Ethan places a soft kiss on my neck, and I can’t help but moan when he touches me. He just sets my whole body on fire every time.
He chuckles against my neck, which is ticklish and makes me giggle.
“Keep giggling,” Ethan says, digging out his phone from his pocket. “I want to record this—you looking so beautiful in the sunset, wind blowing your hair back, gorgeous smile on your lips, and the most amazing sound of you giggling. I don’t want to forget a thing while we’re separated.”
Of course, now that he has his phone out I’m bawling like a baby. “Ethan Paul, that has to be one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard.”
“It’s true, baby. I don’t want to ever forget one single thing about this moment. I love you, Andi.”
I can’t stop the gasp that passes through my lips. I flip over quickly and look him in the eyes, seeing nothing but pure love flowing from them.
“Oh, Ethan, I love you too! I’ve loved you for a very long time.” I place my hands on his face and pull him down to me.
As soon as his lips touch mine, I know I can never go anywhere. Right here with him is where my heart belongs. Leaving Ethan again would be my biggest regret. Texas was great, and I received a great education, but that’s not my home, my future. This man is my future. This town, with all our family and friends, is our future.
Ethan rolls over to his back, pulling me with him but not breaking our kiss. Our tongues seem to have a mind of their own, tangling with one another. My fingers grip his hair as his hands move down my back and onto my ass. Each squeeze he gives me sends a new lightning bolt straight to my core. My entire body is humming for him.
We finally break for air and I bury my face in his neck, taking in a deep breath of his scent. Even though we went for a swim a little while ago, I can still smell his signature scent, a little spicy yet sweet. I can’t quite put my finger on what else, but whatever it is smells amazing.
I want him so bad I can taste it. I think I’m ready to give myself to him. But before we go there, I want everything out in the open. I need to tell him how I feel, and what I’ve decided.
I raise my head and stare at his gorgeous blue eyes. It takes my breath away every single time, and I get lost in them.
“Ethan, I think we need to talk.”
“Okay, baby, but I can’t seem to get enough of your kisses right now,” Ethan says, landing a deep, passionate kiss on me, effectively distracting me for a while longer. Not that I’m complaining much; I love his kisses too.
I realize I’m grinding my hips against his. I could already feel his erection and apparently my body has a mind of its own—not that I would stop it anyway.
I’m not sure how much time has passed; everything except Ethan has faded to the background, as it usually does whenever he touches me. I hear a beep somewhere in the distance, but I can’t quite place it. I finally break our kiss after I hear it again and again.
“Ethan, do you know what that noise is?”
“What noise, Andi? What does is sound like?”
“I’m not sure, kind of like a beeping,” I say as it goes off again. “That one! Did you hear it that time?”
“It has to be my phone, or yours. Do you have yours?” Ethan looks around for his; finding it, he unlocks the screen. After a few seconds, he sits us up quickly, careful to steady me, and starts dialing a number. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I can tell it’s probably not good, which scares me a little bit.
“Ethan, what is it?”
“Hang on a minute, Andi, please?” Not that he’s giving me a chance to answer; he stands up and starts pacing while the phone is ringing.
“Damn it!” Ethan pounds on the screen again. I’m not sure what’s wrong, but I wish I’d brought my phone with me. I haven’t been carrying it much the past few days because I’m not usually worried about missing someone’s call; I’ve either been with Ethan, Mom, or Dad—who else would really be calling me?
“Yes, hello, I’m looking for my mother. I got a text message stating she could be found there . . . Yes, her name is Carrie Paul, she’s forty years old . . . No, I don’t know her social security number. Is she there or not? I just want to know if this is where the ambulance took her. Please, she’s my mother. I’m the only family she has.”
Oh, no, it’s Carrie! Oh, I hope she’s okay. Please let her be okay.
She’s the only family Ethan has—well, close by, anyway.
I go to him and rub his back; I don’t know what else I can do.
Wait, I know.
I start gathering up our stuff, slip on my sandals, and fold the blanket we were just lying on. Ethan isn’t saying anything; he must still be on hold. He has his back to me while he’s looking out over the water. I don’t want to bother him, but I want to give him my support so I set the blanket down at the picnic table by the dock and walk up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He puts the arm not holding his phone over both of mine and holds on tight, still not saying a word.
“Yes, this is Ethan, I’m Carrie’s son . . . Okay, can you please tell me if she’s alive?” His voice breaks at the end of the question.
Oh, my God, please let her be alive!
“Oh, thank God! Okay, I’m on my way.” He hangs up and turns around, giving me a tight hug and holding me for a moment before releasing me. “Andi, I know you’re leaving tomorrow and I’m so sorry, but I have to go. I have to get there now.” He leans down with tears in his eyes, which breaks my heart even more, and gives me a hard kiss. “Listen, I don’t want to miss any time with you, but I have to go. I won’t know how bad it is till I get there. I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Ethan, I can go with you—” I start to say, but he cuts me off quickly.
“I can’t ask you to do that. Besides, you have to go back to Texas tomorrow, and I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. I may not even be back tomorrow. I won’t let this be the reason you miss out on your dreams. No regrets, remember?” With that, he gives me another hard kiss then lets go, taking off at a jog for his truck.
He gets about halfway to the barn and yells back, “I’ll call you, baby. Please remember I love you.” Then he sprints to his truck, jumps in, and takes off.
I’m not sure how long I’ve been standing here—I must be in shock.
What hospital is Carrie even in? What the hell happened to her? Why would he ask if she is still alive? Of course she’s alive; what could’ve happened to her that would’ve killed her? She’s too young to die.
Go back to Texas? I was letting go of Texas, except I didn’t get to tell him that yet. He doesn’t know that I want to be here with him. He thinks he’s holding me back by staying here. Or maybe he isn’t ready to settle down with me yet. But that doesn’t make sense after everything we’ve been through, all these years we’ve already lost. No, he even said “I love you” first, so he has to mean it, right?
I’m still standing in the same spot when I hear someone saying my name.
“Andi? Honey, are you okay? Andi? Hello, are you in there?”
“Huh? Uh . . . Yeah, I’m, uh, here.”
“Andi? Baby, what’s wrong? Where’s Ethan?” At the sound of Ethan’s name, my shell shock is broken and I feel myself crumble. I fall into my mother’s arms and burst into tears.
“Oh, Momma, it’s bad. It has to be bad.”
“Baby, what’s bad? Where’s Ethan?” she asks as she smooths my hair over and over again. “Andi, where is Ethan? Is he okay?”
“No, Mom, he isn’t okay. He was holding it together but I know him, he’s not okay.”
She pulls me in front of her, hands on both my shoulders. “Andi, look at me. I know you’re hurting, but I need to know what’s going on. Now, what happened? What’s bad?”
“Carrie, something happened to Carrie, Ethan’s mom. I don’t know what or even where she is. He had a text message come up on his phone, then he was calling somewhere, asking if she was there. He finally got someone to tell him she was and he asked if she was alive. Apparently, she was when he asked, but it has to be bad if he’s asking, right, Mom? Oh, God, what if she doesn’t make it? She’s basically all his family he has left. It’ll crush him.”
“Hey, don’t go there yet, baby girl. Don’t go borrowing trouble. We need to figure out what’s going on first, and then we can cross whatever bridges we need to, okay?”
“He didn’t want me to go with him. I tried, I wanted to be there for him, but he said no.” This makes me burst out in new tears, thinking he doesn’t want me to be there for him in whatever this crisis is.
“Oh, honey, I know it must hurt, but I’m sure that boy cares about you just as much as you do him. He’s about as stubborn as you are too, which is why you two were made for each other. Don’t you think that maybe he just doesn’t want you to be held back from your trip tomorrow? After all, if she
is
in bad condition, he probably won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. He’d never hold you back from your dreams, Andi. He hasn’t in the past four years, and he isn’t going to start now.”
“Oh, Mom, how did such a beautiful day turn into such a mess?”
“It
has
been a wonderful day, and yes, there’s something going on, but we don’t know what yet. Let’s get up to the house and make some calls to see if we can find out where Carrie is and what happened, okay?”
“Yeah, okay, let’s go.” I see the gator sitting near; Mom must’ve ridden it down here, but I didn’t even hear her pull up. I must’ve been really lost in thought, I guess. We climb on the gator and take off for the house. As soon as we’re close enough, I run inside and up to my room, grabbing my phone off the bed. I don’t have any new texts from Ethan, no missed calls from any number from him, or anyone for that matter. My battery is flashing low. I better grab the charger too.
I run back downstairs where Mom and Dad are waiting, their laptop sitting on the table, Google open to local hospital listings.
“Did you have any messages from Ethan yet, sweetie?”
“Nothing yet, but he did say before he left that he’d call me, so I guess the best thing we can do is wait until he does.”
“Or we could use Google here to call local hospitals and see if she’s there. Better yet, we could call Ethan and see if he can answer. I want to be there for him, and I’m sure you do too, sweetie,” Dad says. I’m sure Ethan looks to him as a father figure, and I’m grateful he has my dad around. Maybe we should call him. I didn’t want to push myself on him, but I’m sure he’d like some support. I notice my phone is now dying.
“Okay, Dad let’s call him, um do you have his number?”
“You mean all the time you’ve been with him you two haven’t exchanged numbers yet?” He chuckles as he pulls up Ethan’s number, hits Send, and hands me his phone. I realize it
is
the same number he’s had for years; I can’t believe he kept it after all this time.
“I haven’t needed to call him but I actually do have it. It’s the same one he’s always had. I just can’t use my phone since it’s now dead.” I plug the charger into the wall. Luckily, this phone charges quick.
I hear the phone ringing and figure it’s going to go to voicemail. Right as I’m expecting to hear a beep, Ethan comes on the line instead. “Hello?”
“Ethan, it’s me. Are you okay? Where are you? Is Carrie. . . .” My voice cracks; I’m trying so hard to keep it together, but I’m so scared she’s going to be gone, or selfishly that he doesn’t want me around him.
“Yes, she’s still alive, barely. Listen, I’m holding it together, baby, but I can’t really talk right now. I’ll call you back when I can, okay?”
“Okay. Where are you guys at, what hospital?”
“We’re at University of Alabama. Listen, I gotta go. Call you later.” And then all I hear is silence.
“Are you guys going or staying here? I’m going. They’re at University. I don’t know how he made it there so fast.”
“Well, Andi, we heard his truck leave at least forty-five minutes ago.”
Wow, I must’ve been in complete shutdown mode. My mind was trying to second-guess everything, but it’s clear now and the decision has been made. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life, as a matter of fact.