Chosen (25 page)

“Sounds great,” I said.

I thanked Jeffrey and Bryan again, then waved good-bye to Kim.

Once Dad and I got in the SUV, I let out a quiet sigh. I knew I should just be feeling grateful to have such an amazing opportunity. Still, I'd been waiting for this day
with crazy anticipation. I couldn't help but feel a little down.

“Sorry I kept you away from work this morning,” I told Dad. “I tried but neither of them felt right.”

“Oh, honey, don't apologize. Kim told me this was going to take time—and I never want you to settle. You'll know when you find the right one. And we will.”

“Thanks, Dad.” I smiled at him. “So, what day are we coming back?”

“On Thursday,” he said. “It was the next time Jeffrey and Kim were both free at the same time. But in the meantime, Kim mentioned she had a horse at another farm that she wanted you to try tomorrow.”

I grinned, relieved that we had another horse to go see so soon. Thursday felt like such a long ways away.

I'd ride horses all summer long and wouldn't stop until I found
my
horse. I knew the one for me was out there—I just had to keep trying each one until I found the exact match.

I looked at Dad. I was so lucky that he was willing to drive me around trying all the horses I could. Not to mention Kim was there making sure everything went well no matter what farm we went to.

I was excited about tomorrow, but something in my
gut told me that it would be one of
Jeffrey's
horses that would eventually work out for me. He'd listened closely and watched to see to what I'd wanted. Now that he'd seen me ride, I felt sure he'd be able to use that to find my match.

When I got home, I BBM'd Brielle and Ana. There were already messages from them, waiting to hear how it had gone.

Lauren:

I tried 2 horses—a green mare and a trail horse. The 1
^st
was 2 much and the other wasn't enough
.

Ana wrote back a few minutes later.

Ana:

Sorry
But at least u r out there looking
.

Brielle:

Xactly. & u don't want 2 settle
.

Lauren:

Def not! I'm going out 2mrw 2 another farm & back 2 Wilden on Thurs
.

Brielle:

Kim will find u the perf Canterwood horse. Try not 2 feel down abt today
.

Lauren:

Did @ 1
^st
, but I had 2 be real—I knew I wouldn't find *the* horse on my 1st day looking
.

Ana:

It's going 2 b that much better that u tried so many horses when u find the ONE
.

Lauren:

Thanks, A. I rlly think I'll find the right horse @ Wilden eventually. But I'm still giving 2mrws horse a shot, obvi
.

Brielle:

Good! And I totally agree w Ana . . . ooo! Want us 2 come w/u on Thurs?

Lauren:

OMG, I'd love that. U guys would be so much help!

Ana:

I'm totally free—I'll be there!

Lauren:

Yay! Thx guys. TTYL
.

Once we said good-bye, I sat still and listened to the commotion around me. Charlotte flew in on Wednesday, so Mom had Ellen here today to clean. Mom had even taken the day off work, which made her nervous since her BlackBerry was usually superglued to her hand. She was readying Charlotte's old room one door down from mine.

Ellen had been asked to stay overtime to clean the
house from top to bottom, which she graciously agreed to do. Mom wanted to make everything
perfect
for Charlotte's first day home.

Thinking about spending the summer with my older sister in the house made me a little nervous. I'd gotten used to it being just Mom, Dad, Becca, and me. Charlotte came home for holidays, but they'd always been short and there hadn't been time enough to find a reason for us to fight. Last year, though, Charlotte and I'd had a big blowout.

Just thinking about it didn't make me feel especially eager for her to come home. I imagined that she probably felt the same way about me.

I remembered it vividly. Charlotte had been packing to go back to school after coming home for spring break and had been hanging out with her old friends from high school.

“Dad said to tell you that he's taking me to my riding lesson and he'll be right back,” I'd told her dutifully.

Charlotte sighed. She turned and tugged her long, straight blond hair out from its messy ponytail. She was gorgeous—the only blonde in our family, with pool blue eyes to match.

People always assumed that she was the pretty girl with
tons of boyfriends (which she was) but they also assumed pretty was all there was to her. They were wrong. Charlotte had graduated with highest honors and had gotten early acceptance to Sarah Lawrence. For every hour I put into riding, she put that much time into studying.

“Of
course
Dad's taking you to a lesson,” she said, adding, “right before I leave,” just under her breath.

“What does
that
mean?” I asked, stunned. “I can't drive
myself
.”

She tossed a sweater into her suitcase. “Whatever, Lauren. I'm over it. I'm just glad I don't live here anymore.”

It felt like she'd slapped me.

“Why?” I asked. “What did I do to you?”

“Please,” she spat, facing me. “I'm so sick of everything being about
you
, Lauren. Did you ever think about how it was for me and Becca when either Mom or Dad—or both—were a thousand miles away at your fiftieth horse show? Or how it felt when they missed all
my
school stuff because they were out supporting
your
little hobby?”

“It's not a hobby!” I screeched defensively. “I'm a professional rider, Charlotte. You
know
that. You're so immature. Becca is way younger, but she actually gets it. She understands how important this is to me. You're my sister—I thought you understood, too.”

Charlotte folded her arms. Her cheeks were cherry red. “You're not even going to apologize?”

“For what?” I asked. I honestly didn't understand why she'd gotten angry so quickly.

Charlotte laughed. “Forget it. Forget everything. What a little
brat
. I can't wait to get back to school, start classes again, and forget you and your idiotic horses even exist.”

Do NOT cry!
I told myself. I held back my tears and glared at my sister. I was always jealous of how gorgeous and smart she was. I worked three times harder than any of my classmates, just so I could be as smart as Charlotte one day. “I can't wait until you're gone,” I said. “If you can't support me like a real sister would, then why are you even speaking to me?!”

For the first time, she looked ugly to me. So ugly, I couldn't bear looking at her old piggish face for another second. Suddenly, I whirled around and slammed her door so hard, it rattled the doorknob.

Mom and Dad had come upstairs when they heard the door, but I was in my room, refusing to speak at all, let alone about what my own sister had said to me. Charlotte wouldn't talk about it either. Becca came into my room. Eventually she rubbed my back while I cried into my pillow. I'd never wanted to take anything away from Charlotte
and I certainly never meant to hurt her. But she'd never spoken to me about any of it before that day. I didn't realize I'd done anything to hurt anyone. Had I really been as selfish as Charlotte claimed? I felt sick, her words going around on a loop in my head.

I never loved Becca more than in that moment when she continued rubbing my back and reassuring me that she didn't agree with Charlotte at all, once I was finally able to get out what had happened.

I didn't want to think about Charlotte anymore. It made me too stomachache-y and anxious. Instead, I picked up my phone to BBM Taylor. He'd asked me to let him know how horse shopping had gone.

Lauren:

So I just got back from trying 2 horses!

He wrote back immediately.

Taylor:

How was it??

Lauren:

Not so great. They were good horses, but not the right fit for me
.

Taylor:

Aw, sorry, Laur. But u r going to try more, right?

Lauren:

Yep! 2mrw and Thurs
.

Taylor:

R u upset that u didn't find 1 2day?

Lauren:

I was @ 1
^st
, but I knew they weren't right ones for me. I'll find the one—I've got all summer to look
.

Taylor:

Def

Lauren:

Got any plans on Fri? Haven't seen u 4 a while. Miss you
.

Taylor:

Miss u 2, L. No plans. Want 2 go out?

Lauren:

Luv 2. Let's both think abt options and then talk abt them ltr
.

Taylor:

Perf. And msg me abt the horses 2mrw
.

Lauren:

I will. TTYS
.