Chosen Child (25 page)

There was no way Amanda could think of to prolong the
conversation, and she didn’t like to ask about Rick and Soraya again. She would
try calling him later when Soraya would be asleep.

Thinking about Ella’s dead father was a horrible reminder of
her own dead husband and Amanda blinked back tears. Gareth had died, just like
that, in a stupid, fluke accident, and here was another unexpected death. There
was no guarantee of tomorrow for anyone. Imagine if she lost Rick too… but she
didn’t even have him yet, not really.

She was walking down the hill, hunched over the buggy to
hide the tears, when a dull knock inside her abdomen jerked Amanda upright. Her
baby – her baby had moved! She massaged firmly and was rewarded by another
knock from within. Wow. How – how brilliant. Her baby was helping her at
exactly the right time. That would be something very positive to tell Rick when
she called. His baby was kicking. Amanda shivered in delight.

Thursday 31st July

Ella put the house phone down.
Thank you,
thank you
. Life was maybe sheer and bloody hell, but people were
helping. She went through to the living room where her mother was slumped in an
armchair, an untouched cup of coffee by her side. Poor Mum – she was a broken
woman.

‘That was Mary on the phone, Mum. She wants to take you to
stay with her for a few days. I think you should go – it would be easier for
you. It’ll be hectic here when Rick and Soraya are back.’

Dread – and anger too – pulled at Ella’s middle as she
spoke. She still had no idea when Rick was planning on coming home. They’d
spoken twice on the phone and he’d answered two of her texts, but all she could
glean was Soraya was well and they were ‘at the beach’ – which could be
anywhere. And he’d refused point-blank to come home while June was still there.
It was so unfair of him to keep her and Soraya apart but with her mother to
look after there was a limit to what Ella could do about it.

June’s expression couldn’t have been more listless. ‘All
right. Whatever’s easiest. Once I have the ashes I’ll think about getting back
home.’

Ella sat on the arm of her mother’s chair and rubbed the
hunched shoulders. ‘Take your time. You don’t need to rush into anything.’

It was so hard. Her father, who had been so full of life and
enthusiasm, would soon be reduced to ‘the ashes’. Never again would she visit
‘Mum and Dad’, and Soraya’s memories of her grandfather would be sparse at
best. It was heart-breaking.

But oh, the biggest question of all, the one that had sick
dread pulling at her middle, overpowering the grief – was the adoption going to
work out? Rick was having an affair, and if he’d taken Soraya to be with his
mistress Ella knew she would never forgive him. She wiped her eyes on the tea
towel and tossed it into the washing machine. Everything was out of control – she
didn’t know where her child was, her husband was having an affair, and her
father was dead. And the adoption agency was clueless about what was going on.
What would they do if they found out?

Her mobile vibrated and Ella grabbed it, disappointment spearing
into her when she saw Amanda’s name on the screen and not Rick’s. Still, Amanda
was proving a good friend, saving her from the eyes in the supermarket like
this. Eyes staring at the woman whose father died on the kitchen doorstep.
Amanda knew what it was like to face those eyes, and it was kind of her to
spare Ella the horror.

The shopping list was on the kitchen table, and Ella sat
down to pass it on, trying to sound positive. ‘You’ll come in for a coffee when
you get back, won’t you?’

Amanda accepted, and Ella went upstairs where June was
packing. She was struck, horribly, by how frail her mother looked. Death did
that to you. Only now could Ella appreciate how brave Amanda had been – and
still was – getting through her own tragedy with a little one to support and
another on the way.

Mary arrived and Ella was glad to see a little more colour
come into her mother’s face as the cousins loaded June’s things into the car.
It would be good for Mum to be with someone of her own generation, someone who
had known her all her life. And with Mum at Mary’s, Ella would be able to
concentrate on Rick, and getting Soraya home again.

She stood in the front door as Mary drove off, then turned
back into the hallway and stopped. Not a sound, nothing moving, silence everywhere.
Surely it had never been this quiet before? Or was it that after just a few
short weeks of having a lively, quirky six-year-old to laugh with, she wasn’t
used to hearing nothing in her home? Ella closed her eyes against burning
tears. How very much she missed Soraya; more than she missed her father, if she
were honest. But this was the time to be active and get her girl back.

Pulling out her phone, Ella texted Rick.
Mum
gone to Mary’s, please come home
. She waited a few minutes, but no
answer came and she bit her lip. Rick’s behaviour was beyond that of a man in
shock after witnessing a sudden death. Was she doing the right thing, not
telling Liz that she didn’t know where Soraya was? What Rick was doing almost
amounted to abduction – and it wasn’t the first time.

The doorbell rang and Ella flew to answer it, but it was
Amanda with her shopping.

Jaden ran straight through to the living room. ‘So-so-so!’

‘I don’t think she’s here today, sweetie,’ said Amanda,
depositing a supermarket carrier on the table.

Ella swallowed. ‘No, she’s not. Look, Jaden – biscuits.’

He ran back and accepted a chocolate digestive. Amanda took
him on her knee while Ella made coffee, feeling a strangely awkward silence
fall. Amanda was cuddling Jaden, staring round the kitchen, not meeting Ella’s
eyes.

Eventually she spoke. ‘How’s it going, Ella?’

‘Oh, Amanda, I don’t know what to do!’ It was out before
she’d thought, a real plea from the heart, and Ella didn’t miss the
apprehensive expression that crossed Amanda’s face. It wasn’t fair, this
woman’s loss was so much greater than her own – she must be in bits still too.

‘What is it?’

Ella clasped her hands together. ‘Rick’s having an affair
and I don’t even know where he’s taken Soraya. He’s in a terrible state with
Dad dying like that. I don’t know if I should contact the adoption people or
the police or what.’

As soon as the words were out she wished them back;
confidences like this didn’t belong in her relationship with Amanda. But Amanda
would understand. She was grieving too, and she was a mother.

Amanda’s face was horrified. ‘Oh no. Surely he’ll be back
soon, Ella. Have you heard from him since he left?’

‘A couple of texts and calls. He’s done this before – driven
off somewhere with Soraya to get back at me after a row, but he’s never been
away this long. I think I should tell someone.’

‘Oh, Ella, that would mean police and heaven knows what. I
would wait another day, I really would. Now your mum’s gone he might feel able
to come back.’

Ella sat making crumbs with her biscuit. It was what she
wanted to think too. She came to a decision. ‘I’ll text him again and tell him
I’ll call later and he should answer it. Then if I don’t get hold of him I’ll
get in touch with our adoption worker.’

Amanda leaned across the table. ‘But that might mean – they
might cancel the adoption or something. Or delay it, anyway. I think you should
wait until you’ve been able to talk properly to Rick – I’m sure you’re worrying
about nothing. It’s, um, I mean – after a death in the family people don’t
react the way they usually do.’

She was right, thought Ella. Maybe she should give Rick
until tomorrow to come home. He might even think he was being helpful, staying
out of her hair like this.

Ella stood at the window as Amanda loaded Jaden into her car
then sat manipulating her phone for a minute before driving off. Everyone was
so accessible nowadays. With a push of a few buttons you could contact anyone,
anywhere – yet she was struggling to get hold of her husband. She sat on the
sofa to text.
Will phone later, please answer. Am worried
about Soraya. Don’t want to involve Liz or the police. Please.

And now – there was nothing more she could do. Grimly, Ella
put the coffee mugs into the dishwasher and was wiping Jaden’s chocolate smear
from the table when her phone rang. Her heart leapt; it was him, oh thank
heavens, it was Rick. Her hands were shaking so hard she could barely take the
call.

‘Rick! Is everything okay?’

His voice was low but he sounded more or less normal.
‘Everything’s fine. Don’t worry, Ella. We’ll be back tomorrow morning, and I
want you and Soraya to move out.’

‘Let me speak to her, Rick, please.’ How awful this was, she
was begging to speak to her own child.

‘She’s in the bathroom. We’ll see you tomorrow.’

‘Where are - ’

The connection was dead. Ella stood leaning on the table,
panting. They were coming home, and she would do anything he wanted if they
just came home. Rick was clearly still upset, but it was going to be all right,
oh please, it must be all right.

Thursday 31st July

Rick tossed his phone on the bed. Good job Amanda had warned
him. The call to Ella hadn’t been easy, but it was done and all things
considered it had gone well. He should never have gone off with Soraya again –
but it was the one way to make Ella cooperate. A few days without Soraya meant
his wife would do as he wanted, and Mary’d made it all too easy for him to
leave. He’d been fleeing the repercussions of Steve’s death and the look on
Ella’s face when she yelled at him for not helping. And the frustration, and
the anger, and the
pain
– his head was buzzing with
pain.

And of course he should have helped Steve the moment he
collapsed and not – what? Five, ten minutes later? Now Steve was dead and if
the police started sniffing around they would find Gareth – or what was left of
him.

If his hand was almost skeletal, what did Gareth’s face look
like, with those empty grey eyes? Rick’s stomach heaved.

Relax, hissed the calm part of his brain. Even if the
hospital did a post-mortem on Steve, surely they would never notice that five
minutes had passed before anyone started CPR. He was worrying about nothing.
But he didn’t know, that was the problem. And – how had he turned into some
kind of adulterous mass-murderer? His brain shied away from the thought of
first Gareth and now Steve… It was incomprehensible.

He glanced at Soraya, prone on her bed, colouring in with a
glum face. They were in a B&B near Penzance, and as the weather had turned
wet again they were stuck indoors in this crappy little bedroom that didn’t
even have an en suite. After just five minutes in the guest sitting room this
morning the landlady came in for a chat, and that was the last thing he needed.
God knows what Soraya would say if anyone started asking her questions. She
wasn’t happy, that was clear – it was ‘When are we going home to Mummy?’ every
five minutes. And he couldn’t think straight because his brain was buzzing.
Maybe a call to Amanda would help.

‘I’m going to the bathroom. I won’t be a minute,’ he said,
and Soraya gaped at him speechlessly.

Amanda answered her phone on the first ring. ‘Rick, where
are you? What are you playing at?’

‘I’m trying to keep my head above water, what do you think?
I have to get Ella to cooperate and she will, this way. But she mustn’t go to
the authorities. If the police start sniffing around they might find Gareth.’

He heard her intake of breath. Shit. That was a mistake. She
didn’t know where Gareth was any more than the police did.

‘Rick, the reason Ella’s thinking about contacting anyone is
because you’ve done a disappearing act with Soraya. Get her back home and
everything’s fine. Should I talk to Ella?’

‘I called her. I said we’d be back tomorrow.’

‘Good.’ Silence. She was obviously mulling something over,
and he waited. ‘Rick… what did you do with Gareth?’

Her voice was almost a whisper and he wondered if she was
worried about someone hearing. But a sound from the corridor told Rick he was
the one being overheard. He jerked the bathroom door open and Soraya looked up
at him, her little face dreary. He clicked his phone off.

‘What are you doing? Are we going home to Mummy now?’ Her
voice was afraid and he made an effort to pull himself together.

‘It’s some work I have to organise. We’re going home
tomorrow, so let’s get you bathed and your hair washed for Mummy, shall we?’

She rose to the bait and was soon splashing in warm soapy
water. Rick retreated to the corridor and called Amanda again. No way did he
want her ‘talking’ to Ella.

‘Listen. I need to persuade Ella to let me have the house.
If she thinks it means she’ll get her precious daughter back, she’ll do it. But
you keep out of this, Amanda.’

He switched off and was listening to Soraya in the bath when
a disturbing thought came to mind. Sweat broke out on his forehead. Amanda
wasn’t stupid. And he had just told her, in almost as many words, that Gareth
was somewhere in or around the house.

Friday 1st August

It was eleven-thirty and there was still no sign of Rick and
Soraya. Ella tried to keep busy, but the apprehension that had her firmly in
its grasp had long since turned to fear. But he would come – he
would
come. He’d said ‘tomorrow morning’. At quarter to
twelve she gave up reorganising the cutlery drawer and stood at the living room
window, watching for the car. It was typical of the new Rick that he was making
her wait.