Christmas Diamonds (24 page)

“I never said I didn’t,” Paula said emotionally. “I’ve never been more in love. But how can I fight back when Sheldon has
him believing that I’m only interested in short-term relationships with men I work for? That couldn’t be further from the truth, but Chase apparently has enough doubts now that he’s willing to set aside everything, even though it should be perfectly clear that I want to spend the rest of my life with him.”

“You can’t allow your life to be dictated by a bitter ex!” Isabelle’s brows drew together. “Maybe he did get to Chase. Or maybe Chase was just a bit scared of his own feelings and needed to be reassured that you truly were in this for the long haul. Either way, this is your future we’re talking about. Don’t throw it away because of pride. Chase is too good of a catch to let him slip through your fingers, even if you have to make the first move to patch things up.”

Paula wanted to bury her head under the pillow. But that would only deprive her of air, not the feelings she had for Chase, which weren’t going away anytime soon, if ever. The truth was, she hadn’t been able to eat, drink, work or sleep since their confrontation. Though part of Paula believed this was proof that she was destined to remain single and unhappy all her life, the better part of her refused to succumb to that notion. What she had with Chase was real, even if he was faltering. They were meant to be together as sure as anyone ever had been. If Chase couldn’t see this on his own, she had to reach out to him and try to hold on to her man and the promise of a future with him.

Paula managed to smile at her grandmother, who clearly wasn’t about to take no for an answer. “All right, all right, I’ll call him. Satisfied?”

“Not till I know you two are back together where you belong,” Isabelle said firmly. A hint of a smile played on her lips. “One step at a time.”

“Agreed.”

Isabelle reached into her pocket. “I brought this up, thinking you might need it.”

Paula grinned as she took the cell phone. “Thanks, Isa. You think of everything.”

“That’s what grandmothers do. We want to make things better for our grandchildren, especially at this time of year.”

Paula had practically forgotten that Christmas was only days away, so caught up was she in the way things had gone downhill between her and Chase. She waited till Isa had given her some privacy and then punched Chase’s preprogrammed number before she could chicken out. Butterflies swarmed in Paula’s stomach as she tried to think of what to say and what not to. She didn’t want to blow this or give Chase further reason to doubt her love for him.

She got his voice mail. Paula hesitated, not wanting to talk to a machine in lieu of the man she loved. She hung up without leaving a message and pondered her next move to win Chase back.

Chase was at the Prince Club with his father for some man-to-man talk, even if he wasn’t exactly in the mood for being lectured. Or maybe that was exactly what he needed—the voice of reason from someone who had been there. Chase was still vacillating back and forth about Paula and their relationship days after he’d all but accused her of playing with his emotions. His love for her was as strong as ever, but his confidence that they were right for each other had taken a hit. He wasn’t interested in going from widower to being engaged to someone who might never make it to the altar once she realized it meant the end of being single to go after the next man who captured her attention. Was he being totally unfair to Paula based solely on the seed her bitter and inebriated ex had planted?

“Chase…?” Sylvester was saying.

He looked up from the fog he’d been in, not sure what had just been said. “I’m sorry,” Chase said. “I drifted off for a moment there.”

“I can see that.” Sylvester gazed at him sharply. “What I said is you’ve got to get out of this funk. It’s not you, son.”

“I’m not sure about that.” Chase lifted his drink. “Maybe
what you see is what you get, someone who’s afraid of being hurt. After Rochelle’s death, I don’t think I can take another major blow to my love life. Yes, I know that Rochelle never meant to leave me, but she still did, just like Mom left you. The grief subsides, but it never fully goes away. It would be almost as unbearable if I were to pour my affections into a relationship with someone who was not totally on the same page but hoped to make me think otherwise till ready to step aside.”

“I hear you,” Sylvester said understandingly. “I just don’t believe you have anything to worry about with Paula. She’s the real thing, and I know she loves you just as much as you love her. Deep down inside, I think you know that, too.”

“What I know is that she’s been single all her life,” Chase said stubbornly, even if conceding that he was largely blowing off steam in trying to make himself feel better and convinced that Paula really did love him and wanted to be with him. “Maybe there’s a reason for that. Can I really ask someone to marry me who may not have being single out of her system? What if Paula says yes and then on her next redecorating job she meets someone richer and better-looking than me? Could that spell the end of our relationship?”

Sylvester furrowed his brow. “I don’t think so. Listen to me. Paula’s not a gold digger. I have no idea why it didn’t work out between her and this other fella, but their relationship has nothing to do with you.”

“You’re sure about that?” Chase asked with reservations. “When I first met Paula, she practically jumped down my throat for just looking at her. Maybe there was an underlying theme there that was saying don’t get involved with me or I’ll only end up breaking your heart.”

Sylvester shook his head and sipped his cocktail. “Will you listen to yourself? You don’t believe that any more than I do. I had a good feeling about Paula from the start, which is why I sent her your way. I’ve seen nothing to make me doubt my initial instincts. The reason some people stay single is that they can’t find someone worthy of getting involved with for
a lifetime. Paula found that with you, just as you have with her. Don’t throw it all away for no good reason.”

“So you think I’m being foolish by having second thoughts about us?” Chase asked, studying his drink.

“No, I wouldn’t say foolish. More like overly cautious and not giving yourself enough credit for recognizing what you see in Paula,” Sylvester said.

Chase conceded that he saw a lot in her to admire and fall in love with. He just questioned whether or not it was enough to eliminate all doubts. He didn’t want to jump back in only to jump out again when the going got tough. That was no way to go into an engagement, let alone marriage. Was it wrong to want someone he could count on no matter what for as long as they lived?

“If you’re asking me if there are guarantees for what might or might not happen down the line, I’d say no,” Sylvester voiced, seeming to read Chase’s mind. “None of us knows what the future holds, but if you want your crusty old man’s opinion about what chance you and Paula have for a long and happy relationship, I’d say it’s a damned strong likelihood. You just need to lighten up and go with your heart on this one, son.”

Chase put the drink to his lips thoughtfully. His heart was the most important thing he had going for him. It did belong to Paula, whether he wanted to admit that or not. Having his heart broken was not an option any more than he would ever knowingly break her heart. Maybe they could rekindle the flames without missing a beat and put the weight of the world behind them.

Chase had wanted to call Paula on more than one occasion but wasn’t sure what to say. He was aware that Paula had called him today, but she didn’t leave a message. Did that suggest she was also at a loss for the proper words, or had she acquiesced to his desire to slow things down? Maybe she was fine with them keeping their distance, or maybe the whole thing was tearing her apart as it was him.

Chase homed in on his father’s eyes that were already peering at him. “You think I need to go with my heart, huh?”

Sylvester nodded. “It trumps pretty much everything else when it comes to knowing what’s right and wrong concerning love. I have complete faith that you’ll get beyond your misgivings and apprehension and give Paula the chance to prove her love is every bit as strong as yours. She deserves that. Once you realize the truth, there will be no stopping you two from getting the most out of your relationship.”

Chase cracked a smile. “Thanks for listening.”

“I think it was more the other way around, don’t you?” Sylvester asked.

Chase chuckled. “Yeah, I guess you have been doing most of the talking. I’ve absorbed it all, and, as always, you’ve managed to put things in a proper perspective for me.”

Sylvester patted him on the arm warmly. “If I can’t pass on to you some of what I’ve learned about life, I haven’t been a very good father.”

“You’ve been great,” Chase made clear, especially with his real mother out of the picture. “I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else.”

Sylvester’s eyes crinkled. “I feel the same way about you, son.” He stood. “Right now, I have to run to the men’s room. Why don’t you order us one more round, then we’ll get out of here.”

“Okay, sounds good.” Chase watched him disappear. He mused about Paula, regretting the way he’d reacted to Sheldon’s cutting words. Chase also felt it had been a good chance to reconsider their relationship, which had been hot and heavy, before making any moves that could very well have implications for the rest of their lives.

Two days before Christmas, Paula was jogging with Virginia. They weren’t bothered by the light snow that was falling and sticking to the ground, or the cold temperature. Having not heard from Chase since his party, Paula decided she would
show up on his doorstep on Christmas Day. It was the right thing to do, if only to show him she still cared and hoped he did, too. She was perfectly willing to start over if that’s what he wanted. However, some things could not be easily erased from her memory, such as their steamy, passionate lovemaking that Paula sorely missed.

“I think that’s a terrific idea,” Virginia said when Paula told her what her plan was.

Paula looked over at her. “You don’t think it would be encroaching on Chase’s territory against his wishes, do you?”

Virginia shook her head. “The man didn’t say he never wanted to see you again. What better time to get things going again than on Christmas Day?”

“But he’s never bothered to call me,” Paula complained. “I miss him like crazy, but maybe he doesn’t miss me.”

Virginia rolled her eyes. “You haven’t called him, either, may I remind you. Does that mean you’ve stopped caring?”

“No, but I did try to call him once. When I got his voice mail, I hung up.” Paula frowned. “At least he would have seen that I called.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t leave a message, so it doesn’t count.”

“I didn’t want to sound desperate or like I was some kind of stalker,” Paula suggested, though she knew that sounded lame.

“Oh, please, girl!” Virginia said. “I’m sure that whatever Chase thinks of you, he’d never believe you were desperate or a stalker. It’s obvious that you could have any man out there you wanted, yet you chose Chase even after he flaked out on you. That should tell him something.”

“He didn’t flake out.” Paula quickly came to his defense. “Sheldon got exactly what he wanted, the chance to make me look bad in Chase’s eyes. Chase only reacted the way anyone would have by questioning if I was really in this for the right reasons. I should’ve done a better job convincing him how much I love him.”

“I think you did a great job of that,” Virginia said. “Don’t put this on yourself. Chase has to know that you’re anything
but a phony. You can’t help but show the real you. I’m sure that when you see Chase on Christmas, he’ll understand and not give you a chance to back out the door.”

Paula could only hope she was right. She didn’t even want to think about ringing in the New Year without Chase. Anything less would be unbearable. He held the key to her heart; she couldn’t imagine anyone ever being able to take his place.

On Christmas Eve, Chase went to the cemetery to visit Rochelle’s grave. He had done this for the last two years, wanting to be with her in spirit at a time that was once so important in their lives. Also, this time he wanted to let her know that the torch had been passed to another woman as wonderful as she was. He was sure that Rochelle was up there rooting for him and Paula to be as happy as they had been.

After saying his piece, Chase laid three long-stemmed yellow roses against her headstone. They were Rochelle’s favorite flower. He heard some rustling, and Chase turned around to find Monica standing there.

“Hey,” he said.

“Your dad told me I’d find you here,” she said softly.

“Yeah.” Chase glanced at Rochelle’s headstone. “I needed to come here.”

“I know.” Monica met his eyes. “She understands.”

He nodded. “Thanks for coming.”

“That’s what friends are for.” She paused. “Next time you can bring someone even closer to you.”

“I’m not sure—”

“It’s okay,” Monica said. “I believe Paula can handle these things. No matter what happens with you two, she wants to be a part of every aspect of your life, and that includes supporting you when you visit Rochelle’s grave.”

Chase’s eyes watered. “That’s good to know.” He would surely need that kind of support from the woman he loved.

“Let me buy you a cup of coffee, and we can talk about the New Year’s Eve party we’re giving.”

“I’d like that,” he said. “But Christmas comes first, and I’ve got some plans of my own.”

“Oh, really?” Monica’s eyes opened wide. “I’d love to hear all about them.”

“Then you will.”

Chase immediately turned his thoughts to Paula and what he had in mind for her Christmas gift.

Chapter 23

P
aula helped Isabelle make a sweet-potato pie. It had been their Christmas Day ritual ever since she was a little girl, and Paula enjoyed the bonding experience. She hoped to pass it on to her children someday. Would Chase be their father? Paula got a warm feeling at the thought. They could be a happy family, if only Chase would open up his heart to her again and allow their love to blossom.