Christmas in Sawyer Falls

Copyright © 2012 H.M. Bailey

All rights reserved by the author. No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted by any means without the consent of the author.

Hannah’s Christmas Hope

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

Hann
ah Miller inhaled deeply, f
illing her lungs with the cool
winter air
. It was invigorating
and made her feel alive. Her
boots crunched the snow on the trail through the woods behind her parents’
house as she reflected on how much
peace the
se
woods
had brought to
her over the years.

When she was a girl, whether she’d had a f
ight with her parents or girlfriends
, a breakup with a boyfriend
or just
a down day, a walk through the
woods
ne
ver failed
to
calm her and lift her mood. It was almost like magic.

Three years ago when sh
e had moved back to her parents’ home
in Sawyer Falls
after becoming a widow at twenty-six years old, the woods had brought her more
comfort than anything else did
and helped her deal with her grief. She tried to get out for a walk every day with her seven year old son, Andrew, taking advantage of winter days that were brisk, yet mild enough to enjoy. He grew to lo
ve the woods as much as she had;
they were a playground to him.

Realizing
that she must have gotten a bit
ahead of Andrew
, she turned around to look for him
when she heard him call for Shadow.

“Shadow!
Come on, boy!”  He yelled and whistled but there was no response.

Hannah looked
around, scanni
ng the woods and thinking that against the background of white snow and bare trees, a black lab shouldn’t be hard to miss. Oddly, there was no sight of the dog.
And the way that Andrew’s
little brow was furrowed told her how worried he was. Shadow was his best friend in the world.

“It’s okay, s
weetheart, he’s lived here for three years now. He knows these woods well
. He
probably caught the scent of some animal
’s trail,
maybe a rabbit or something. H
e’ll be along soon.”

Shadow had been a Christmas gift to Andrew the last Christmas they’d celebrated as a family
with his father
.  That was BMD.
Before Michael’s death.
Events in the timeline of her life were now classified as BMD or AMD.
It was Michael’s idea to name the puppy,
who
was as adorable and mischievous as the lit
tle boy he was gifted to, Shadow,
because he hoped that the two would be inseparable friends; that the dog would be
as a shadow to his son. Thankfully, in the dark days when the little boy needed a friend the most, Shadow
had
lived up to his name.

Hannah
knew that Shadow would join
them soon and wanted to keep her son from worrying too much
, so she put her arm around him as they walked together. “I think Grandma Tess told me she’s making your favorite dinner tonight.

“Lasagna?” he asked,
his eyes still searching the woods.

“Yep
, that’s right
. In fact, I’ll bet you
that
Shadow probably ran ahead and will be waiting for us when we get home. He loves Grandma’s la
sagna almost as much as you do. Look, we’re not too far, I can see the house from here.”

Though the day had been sunny and pleasant, as far as winter days go, by the time they got home,
the afternoon sun was setting and
Hannah and Andrew were ready to warm up by the fireplace.
When they arrived
, sure enough, Hannah’s father, David
,
had started a fire for them.  She didn’t even have time to get a thank you out of her mouth before Andrew rushed past her and then past Tess,
who had come out to welcome them home,
yelling for Shadow.

“Shadow!
  Did Shadow come back here
, Grandma?”

“Shadow?”
Tess
asked
confused, “I thought
h
e was out on a walk with you and your mother
.”

“H
e was with us, but ran off when we were in the woods and we though
t maybe
he came home,” Hannah answered.

The look of disappointment in Andrew’s blue eyes was hard for he
r to see
. Every day, Andrew was growing more and more to look like his father, with his All-American blond hair and blue eyes, the exact same shade as Michael’s had been. Hannah was so grateful that physically
he took after his father instead of her. Every time she looked into her son’
s eyes it was a gift
to her
, w
hich was why it upset her to see fear and worry in those eyes.

“
Hey now, Buddy, no need to
worry yourself like that.
Those woods are like a playground for dogs
, even more so than they are for boys like you
. You know how sometimes you’re at the playground and you lose track of time and don’t want to leave? I’ll bet that’s what happened
to Shadow
.” David’s vo
ice was soothing and reassuring
as he placed
his hand on Andrew’s shoulder.

“How about we eat some of your grandma’s delicious lasagna and if he’s not back when supper’s over, you and I
will go out and look for him
.”

Andrew shook his head, not quite ready to make a deal. “But,
I think that
we should go look for him
right now? Please can we go now?”

Hannah could tell by the look on her dad’s face that he was about to give in to Andrew’s pleas; he had a hard time saying no to his gr
andson. “I want you to warm up for a little bit and get s
ome food in your stomach first,” she interjected
, so her dad wouldn’t have to
. “It won’
t take that long and
then you won’t get hungry when Grandpa takes you
out to find him
.”

Hannah wasn’t worried about Shadow being in any danger. Growing up in this home, their dogs had been outside dogs, roaming the woods and coming and going as they pleased. They were a bit out of town, so
there were
no busy roads to worry about.

At dinner, despite it being his favorite meal, Andrew barel
y picked at his lasagna. His sad
blue eyes were in a focused gaze at his grandpa, silently urging him to finish his meal so he could head out in search of Shadow.
Tess and Hannah tried
to talk to distract Drew and convince
him to eat more of his dinner when David finally set his napkin down and met Andrew’s gaze with a twinkle in his eye.

“I think we’ve made Drew wait long enough. Sitting in front of a dinner that he’s not going to eat isn’t going to accomplish anything. Come on, Buddy, let’s head out and find Shadow.”

Before his grandfather had even finished getting the words out, Drew was out of his chair and rushing to get his coat and boots on.
Once they were sufficiently bundled up and loaded with Shadow’s favorite treats, they headed out into the night on their mission.

Hannah stood in front of the big window, watching them walk off as Tess began to clear the table. She noticed that even though Hannah was looking o
utside, her eyes seemed to be staring vacantly into the night
as if her mind were somewhere else.

“Penny for your thoughts, dear,” Tess said, breaking Hannah out of her trance.

“Oh, I was just thinking about Andrew and Shadow. I’m sure they’ll find him, but if anything ever did happen to that dog, I don’t know if Andrew could
take another blow like that
. That dog is his best friend and
is what
got Andrew through losing his dad.”

“He’s been doing so well,
too, hasn’t he? I
t’s nice to have such a happy child in the h
ouse. I know that Christmas might be a
hard time, though. How have you been handling it this year?”

Hannah turned from the window and walked into the kitchen to help her mother clean up. It wasn’t that often that it was just the two of them in the house
and she knew her mother was asking questions that had probably been on her mind for a
while. She hated that her mom worried so much about her and wanted to put her mind at ease.

“I’m fine,” she told her mother and then after seeing her mother’s look of disbelief, added, “No, really, I am. I mean, I don’t know if I will ever completely get over it. I’ll always love him and it will always bother me that Andrew has to grow up without his father in his life, but each year it’s gotten easier. The pa
in is not so raw.” Her
mother grab
bed
her hand an
d ga
ve it a squeeze.

“You are a strong woman, Hannah,
and I’m proud of how you’ve held up.”

“
I’m not
strong. I just did what
any mother would do.
Life goes on and I had to keep living.
For Andrew
.
  And you’ve been strong for me
, too
. I don’t know what I would have done
without you, even now that I’m teaching again, you and Dad help me out so much.
”

Tess brought a stack of plates over to the sink and set them down. She turned to face Hannah and was about to say something but then stopped
and changed her mind
.

“What is it, Mom?” Hannah asked.

“Well, we put you first in our life just like you put Andrew first. And you are a wonderful mother because of it
. But…well…sometimes you need to take care of yourself, too.
“

Hannah knew where this was going and she didn’t like it.

“Maybe you should think about dating again. It’s been three years, Hannah, and I know that Mi
chael would want you to be happy
.”

Hannah
’s cheeks burned hot as she
turned from the sink to face her m
other
.

“I am happy! And honestly, being a second grade teacher and a mother
keeps me too busy to date. It’s something that honestly never even crosses my mind
.
”

“
It’s
Christmas break
now, dear
, you have time to date.”

Hannah laughed and shook her head.

Tess smiled innocently.
“
I’m just saying
,
you’re not busy now.
Do your mother
a favor and put some serious thought into it. You are still so yo
ung. I want you to find
a partner in life, someone to grow old with…”

Hannah blinked away tears as she loaded plates into the dishwasher. “But Mom, I had that. And I don’t want to have to go through losing it again. I couldn’t take it.”