Christmas in Sawyer Falls (2 page)

“There are no guarantees in life, dear, but love is worth the risk. It’s always worth the risk.”

Hannah felt a lump in her throat. She didn’t want to discuss the subject any more. “I’ll finish up in here for you. You look tired, why don’t you go
sit in front of the fire.”

“Thank you, I am a bit tired. But Hannah, give it some thought.”

Hannah responded only with a nod.

*

After the kitchen was cleaned up, Hannah thought she’d take advantage of Andrew being gone by wrapping some Christmas presents
in her room
. Wrapping always put her in a good mood and she could definitely use that after the uncomfortable talk with her mother. She didn’t want to think about dating. She wouldn’t even know
how
to date;
it had been so many years now. It was definitely out of her comfort zone and Hannah rarely went outside of that.

And where would she even meet someone.
She spent her days with second graders and then came home to spend time with Andrew, go for walks, eat dinner with her parents, work on lesson
plans and go to bed
. That was her life.

Then she remembered the man from the gas station. The
last morning of school before Christmas break
she was running late to work and was trying to pay for her gas in a hurry when she dropped her purse reaching for her wallet, spilling the contents around the feet of the other customers waiting in line. She dropped to her knees in embarrassment trying to quickly corral her phone, wallet, lips
tick and everything else that had fallen
out.

Suddenly she was aware of another customer on his knees, helping her gather
up
her stuff. She looked up to thank the stranger and her breath had caught in her throat at the sight of the thick, dark hair, forest green eyes and perfectly chiseled features.
And then he smiled
at her
and
it made her feel like she was the only woman in the whole world.
Or at least
in
the gas station.

She had stammered a thank you and hopefully didn’t drool too much
before getting up
. “No problem,
Hannah, I’m glad to help,” he told her.

Her heart stopped for
a second.
“Do I know you?” she’d asked him. He shook his head no and pointed to her school ID badge that had her name in bold letters under her picture. Ugh, it was not a very flattering picture at that.

She probably would have stayed to talk to him longer and
she
wished she could have at least gotten his name,
too,
but
at the time
she could feel the glare of the impatient customers waiting in line, probably running late just like she was, and so she took off
. But if anyone could maybe
, just maybe,
make her consider getting back into the dating world, it was that stranger who had come to her rescue.

Hannah
turned the Christmas music on and turned her attention to wrapping gifts. Soon she had pushed dating out of her mind and was whistling along with the music
as she wrapped
when she heard the front door close downstairs. She looked at her watch and didn’t realize how late it had gotten, she’d lost track of time.

As she was heading downstairs to the living room, she could hear Andrew crying. Her heart leapt into her throat as her mind filled with visions of Andrew finding Shadow dead alongside the road, hit by a car. She subdued her imagination with a quick prayer,
“Oh God, please don’t take Shadow from him.”

When s
he got downstairs she found her mom
with Andrew on h
er lap, rocking him, while her
dad
was taking off
his coat and gloves
. She made eye contact with him and mouthed, “Is he dead?”

Her father shook his head no. “We haven’t found Shadow
yet
,” he said, emphasizing the yet for Andrew’s benefit. “We walked
in the woods for a while and called for him but he was nowhere to be found. A
nd then
we
took the truck out along the
county
roads to see if we could find him.
We got all the way out to Highway 12 but I don’t think he would have gone that far.
We’ll have to go out again tomorrow if he doesn’t come back during the night.”

Hannah breathed a sigh of relief. At least he wasn’
t dead. But she was still worried, this was so unlike Shadow. Her heart was breaking for her son. When he saw her, Andrew ran over to his mom and hugged her. “It’s ok, honey, we’ll find him
.”

After a cup of hot cocoa and a hot bath, Andrew was feeling better.
Hannah
had talked to him about replacing his worry with making plans for what their next step to fi
nd Shadow
would be
.  She told him
that they could make fl
yers and post them all over the town of Sawyer Falls
and Grandpa could drive around again in the morning.
It seemed to do the trick and soon he was talking for other ideas to find his best friend.
One of the things that amazed Hannah about her son was his optimism.

She sat on his bed as she tucked him in, performing the bedtime routine that played out every night. They woul
d read a story or two and then say prayers. During the C
hristmas season, they also
included his ever changing list for Santa.
Sometimes he would get his prayers to God and wishes to Santa mixed up, as seven year olds are often apt to do.

“Do you think you’ll have your list ready to go by the time we go to see Santa at the mall on Sunday?” she asked him.

“I changed my list,” he answered.

“Again?
I can’t keep up with you!” she laughed, but stopped at seeing the serious expression come over his
small
face.

“I only want two
things
for Christmas. I want Shadow back and…I want a new dad.”

Hannah
was taken by surprise and her mouth dropped open
. This was the first time Andrew had even brought the subject up. “A new dad?” was all she could manage to stammer out.

“Yeah.
You’re not mad, are you?
I still love my dad in heaven, but he can’t be here with me right now, you know? I wan
t a dad who will do things with me, like play video games and hockey.”

“You have your grandparents and me to do those things with.”

“Well, you play video games with me, but I know you don’t like them. And none of you can play hockey with me. Grandpa can’t even skate anymore because he got his hip replaced. But it’s more
than that…it’s just hard to explain
. It’s like our family is missing something, don’t you feel that way, Mommy? I want you to have a husband, like other moms.”

Hannah just sat there, very still, n
ot knowing quite how
to respond. She was trying with all her might
to keep her eyes from tearing up. She smiled at him and bent down to kiss his blond head, deeply inhaling the scent of freshly washed hair and peppermint soap.

“I don’t know about the new dad part, but I’ll do everything I can to find Shadow. I’ll say extra prayers tonight that he’ll be home before Christmas.”

After he was snug and warm underneath his quilt and the lights were turned out, Hannah was
halfway down the hallway to
her room to finish the present wrapping that
she’d started earlier when she turned around, heading for the stairs. She had a pretty
good guess where Andrew could have come up with
an idea like that.

Her parents sat comfortably in front of the fire in their chairs, relaxing and chatting, when Hannah stood before them. She looked directly at her mother.

“Mom, do you know anything about Andrew’s wish for Santa to bring him a new daddy?”

“He wished for what? I have no idea what made him say that.”

She did look innocent and just as shocked as Hannah had been when she’d heard him say it. She looked at her dad to catch his reaction. He just shrugged
his shoulders
. “Maybe
he’s the one behind his own idea,” he said to her. “He’s in school now and sees other boys his age having a father in their lives. Maybe he wants what he sees the other kids having.”

“That could be true, dad; it’s possible that it was his own idea. But, I find it oddly coincidental that the same day Mom talks to me about dating again, Andrew decides he wants me to have a new husband.” Hannah said in an accusatory tone with her hands on her hips.

“It is a coincidence
,
my dear. But, help me understand clearly, did he ask for a father for himself?
Or a husband for you?”

Hannah felt herself blush uncontrollably and put her hands down at her sides. “Both, I guess. I can’t remember his exact words but if he’s asking for a father,
then
that would mean a new husband for me.”

She sat down on the couch between her parents’ chairs and stared mindlessly into the fire.
“I just wasn’t ready for him to ask for that.” She looked down into her hands and quietly added, “I don’t know if I’d ever be ready to hear that he wants a new dad.”

There was a moment of silence while David and Tess exchanged glances.

“You know, dear,” Tess began, “asking for a dad doesn’t mean he’s forgotten Michael or loves him any less. Like your father said, it could just be that he’s missing a fatherly presence in his life.” Then, looking over at David, she quickly added, “No offense to you, dear, but a grandpa is different than a dad.”

Dav
id laughed heartily. “None
taken,
my
love.”

Hannah twirled a strand o
f chestnut hair while staring
again int
o the fire. She just wanted
to change the subject. “The other thing that Andrew wants for Christmas is to get his dog back. And
that is something that we can do. I hope. I’m going to put together some flyers and we can put them up around town. And I guess we’ll drive around some more to look for him. Where do you think he went off to?”

“
Well, the weather’s been so nice
lately,
maybe he ran off after an animal or caught the scent of a female in heat, who knows what he’s doing out there. What worries me is that I saw the weather report that we’re going to have a cold front and maybe a storm moving in. The weatherman said it would be a couple days, so we just need to pray that Shadow comes home before then.”

*

The next morning at breakfast Andrew flew down the stairs already dressed, bright eyes eager and awake in contrast to his mother who
se eyes were barely more than slits as she stood in her robe pouring her morning cup of coffee.

Tess was in the kitchen, too, getting a bowl of warm oatmeal ready to set before Andrew.

“Thanks, Grandm
a,” he said, climbing up into a big, oak
chair at the table. Then, turning to Hannah,
he
said,
“Can we leave right after breakfast to go look for Shadow?”

Tess looked over at Hannah and started laughing. “It looks like your mom might need a shower first; she still looks half asleep.”

Ha
nnah smiled, her eyes opening more
after drinking her coffee.
“The reason I look like the walking dead is that I was up late last night putting together a design for our flyers. I
know you’re excited
to get going, kiddo. I’ll run upstai
rs and put on some sweats. We can
head into town right away before anyone that I know is up and around yet and then I’ll come home and take a shower later.”

After a morning of hanging flyers all ov
er town, Hannah never got that chance to take a shower
. The cold
front that her father had mentioned had moved in earlier than expected and they were worried about Shadow being out in such extreme temperatures. David and Tess took the truck to check the country roads and Andrew and Hannah drove around in their car, scanning neighborhood streets in town.
The town of Sawyer Falls never seemed that big to her until she had to drive up every street in it.

They had agre
ed to meet back at home when it started to get dark, which really didn’t give the
m much time considering that the days just before Christmas
were the shortest of the year. When Hannah pulled into the driveway she saw the lights on and knew that meant her parents were home already. She hoped that meant good news, but unfortunately, when Andrew b
ound excitedly into the house,
he was met with disappointment. His grandparents hadn’t been any luckier than Hannah and Andrew at finding Shadow.