Clementine (18 page)

Chapter 18

She worked tirelessly the next day
, staying up late and waking up early to research the case study. She was disappointed when Holden had been too busy to attend their Wednesday morning meeting. But she was still slightly relieved because she knew she looked like hell from the late night. He’d left Dr. Patrick and Dr. Richards in charge of telling the students they’d failed again at making a new pot of coffee in the nurse’s lounge.
I guess you really don’t mess with a nurse’s coffee supply.
She smiled to herself trying to pay attention to the rest of the mundane announcements.

She’d noticed that n
one of her peers seemed to be discussing their case findings with one another. There was awkward friction within the group at knowing they were all competing for a single coveted surgery spot. At least Addison was close enough with Bethenny that the two girls agreed they’d be happy for one another even if the other girl was chosen (even if they only half meant it). By Wednesday afternoon most of the students had already mentioned dropping by Dr. Warwick’s office and Addison couldn’t help feeling anxious.
How is everyone finishing before me?
She’d emailed him and set up a meeting for 7am the next morning, hoping she’d finally be ready by then.

“Ms.
Caldwell, pleasure to see you
so bright and early.” Dr. Warwick gestured toward a chair in front of his desk as she stepped through his door. She’d never been inside his office before and she couldn’t help sneaking a glance around the neatly placed bookshelves and framed diplomas. She’d seen other members of her group trickle in and out over the past few days and she wondered if she was the last student to present her findings.
Hopefully he hasn’t already chosen someone.
Addison smiled up at him and took the seat he’d offered.

“Morning
, Dr. Warwick," she spoke, adjusting her posture in the oversized chair and collecting her thoughts.

“So tell me, do you think you’ve found the answer to the case study?” Dr. Warwick
inquired. He sat with his back against a brown leather office chair, his hands clasped casually on his lap. His welcoming expression displayed under his rimless glasses worked to calm Addison’s nerves only slightly.

“Yes, I think so. I’ve gone over the details of the case dozens of times over the past few days and at first the symptoms seemed elusive and broad. They could have been related to any number of diagnoses, so I had to dig a bit deeper. Patient X is
young, she was a competitive gymnast but had no traumatic event to warrant immediate treatment, just long term stress and strain on the spine. Initially, all signs pointed to a simple muscle strain, but obviously you wouldn’t be giving us such a simple problem,” she smiled timidly. “I began to think that patient X could potentially have a bulging vertebral disc or cartilage breakdown. However, the patient presented pain associated mostly with the lower spine and initial x-rays didn’t show any herniated discs present. All of the simple answers were cleared," she paused, noting his seemingly interested expression. 

“
After digging around through various spinal disorders, and ruling out nearly everything, it became clear that the patient has Spondylolysis. The disorder occurs mainly in athletes, like gymnasts and football players, who can acquire stress fractures over time. The initial view on the x-rays wouldn’t have caught the separation of bone and her lack of persistent pain further proves the diagnoses. Very few spinal disorders cause such specific pain.” She took a deep breath and relaxed back into her seat.

Dr. Warwick
nodded his head before beginning, “Your diagnosis is correct, Ms. Caldwell. What is your treatment plan for the patient?” Dr. Warwick asked giving her a small congratulatory smile.

“I would recommend physical therapy; perhaps a back brace to strengthen the surrounding muscles. I would not offer a surgical remedy for patient X, especially when less severe measures can be taken first," she finished
with a small huff.
Finally, I’m done.

Dr. Warwick nodded again, without giving away any indication of whether she’d been on the right track.
C’mon, give me a hint at least.
“That will do Ms. Caldwell. You are free to go.”

They were scheduled to meet in the conference room
after lunch to go over afternoon rotations and discover who’d won the surgical spot. Addison had already waited a couple of hours to find out if she was correct and the last thirty minutes before their meeting seemed to be dragging. She was standing by the toaster in the nurse’s lounge when she pulled her phone out of her pocket and scrolled through her contacts. Once she got to the H’s she hovered over Holden’s name, already knowing what she was about to do. She felt nervous putting herself out there. Sure he’d texted her the night before, but she had no clue where they stood; if they were even friends anymore. If she texted him and he ignored her, she didn’t want to think of how awkward the rest of her neurology rotation would be.
Time to grow a pair…

She pocketed her phone and grabbed her bagel and cream cheese. Bethenny was already sitting at a table eating her lunch and Addison moved to join her. Just as she took her seat she felt her phone vibrate and a shot of adrenaline coursed through her.
Pull yourself together woman, he sent a text, not a dozen roses.
Maybe it’s not even him.

Just as she reached to check, Bethenny spoke.

“What do you think of Henry, Addison?” Bethenny asked before Addison could pull her phone out of her coat pocket.

“Umm, as a future doctor?
He’ll be great. Not sure about his bedside manner, but whatever,” she answered before taking a bite of her bagel and casually pulling her phone out onto her lap.

“No I mean as a person. Do you think he’s cute?”

Addison nearly choked on her bite of bagel and was once again distracted from reading Holden’s text.

“What? Where is this coming from?” Addison
asked, noticing how Bethenny wouldn’t pull her gaze away from her meal.

“I just think he’s so smart, and he actually helped me with the case study you know. I don’t think we ended up with the right diagnosis
... but while everyone else was avoiding each other like the plaque, he approached me to get coffee and to go over it together.”

“Wow... that’s
... so not Henry.” Addison laughed taking another bite of bagel. “But it seems oddly sweet. He is cute if you take away the intense overachiever attitude...or maybe you like that?”  Addison winked and Bethenny rolled her eyes, laughing.

Addison finally took a moment to steal a glance at her phone before Bethenny continued divulging her feelings for
Henry.

How does he know
?
Addison’s head snapped up and she quickly scanned for Holden.
Is he here?
She spotted him a second later through the lounge windows. He was standing just beyond the room, casually talking with a few other residents.
Holy crap, he’s flirting with me. He wants to eat lunch with me.

“Earth to Addison,” Bethenny spoke, waving her hand in front of Addison’s face. Addison laughed awkwardly, turning back to her conversation.

“Sorry, I spaced for a second. I’m really glad Henry invited you to dinner later though. That’ll be such a good change from studying every night,” Addison spoke, trying to keep her excitement about Holden’s text from bubbling over too obviously.
She was telling me about dinner with Henry, right?

“I know, I wonder where he’ll take me.” Bethenny stood to go he
at up her soup in the microwave giving Addison a few seconds of free reign to stare at Holden. He was angled slightly toward her laughing at something said within the group. She wished she was a part of whatever was making him laugh. She wanted to be the girl to make him smile like that.

Holden looked toward her then, his smile somehow becoming even more intoxicating as his eyes locked with hers. The weight of their stare held so much potential. The residents continued to talk around him and Bethenny made her way back to the table, but Addison and Holden didn’t look away. His expression was so
captivating and full of things she knew they needed to say. She smiled coyly, letting her guard down in front of him for the first time since returning to Austin.
Alright, I came back for you a LITTLE bit.

“You’ve got some major explaining to do,”
Bethenny said as the two girls walked to the conference room.

“Oh come on, I was just staring off into space, not at our crazy-intimidating head resident,” Addison
promised, trying to cover her bases. She knew her words were obviously lies but she wasn’t prepared to be honest with herself, let alone Bethenny, about what was truly going on. She realized that although they were friends in the past, he was now her supervisor and any relationship between them would most likely be breaking dozens of rules.
As if I didn’t have enough baggage pushing him away already...

“Yeah, but you have to be honest, that man makes all of the guys in this hospital look like
Neanderthals.”

Addison laughed as she rolled her eyes, “He may look like a freaking Greek
god, but that’s all. I wasn’t staring at him. I was simply thinking of how breathtakingly beautiful the 1980’s wallpaper in that nurse’s lounge is.”

Bethenny cracked up as the two girls finally entered the conference room and took their usual seats.

“I’ll accept that ridiculous answer for now, Ms. he-and-I-used-to-be-friends.”

Chapter 19

“Now that everything else
is covered, I’d like to announce Dr. Warwick’s choice for tomorrow’s surgery spot,” Holden declared, his words causing a hushed silence to fall over the room.

“While a few of you identified the correct disorder as spondylolysis, only one of you was able to provide the corr
ect treatment plan.” All of the students sat motionless, waiting on pins and needles.
Just tell Henry he got the spot already…
“Ms. Caldwell,” Holden began as she snapped her gaze up to him.

“Your choice of rehab, rather than surgery, was spot on,” Holden explained, offering her a professional smile. “While many spinal injuries require surgical procedures, it’s important to identify when less extreme measures can, and should, be taken.” He nodded toward her and she tried to swallow only to find her mouth dry.
Wow, I’m doing a surgery. With him. Tomorrow.

She let out a surprised huff.

“Ms. Caldwell, please stay behind to speak with me for a minute. Everyone else is dismissed.”

What? I have to talk to him alone? We haven’t been alone since that
night a year ago.
             

Every eye had turned to Addison during Holden’s
announcement; her fellow students tried and failed to hide narrowed glances aimed at her for being chosen over them. Bethenny shot Addison a surprised look and a warm smile before following the other students out of the conference room. “You’re so lucky” she mouthed before stepping out and Addison couldn’t decide if she was talking about getting to assist in surgery or getting to be alone with Holden.  Addison’s gaze remained fixed on the spot by the door Bethenny had just occupied as she tried to absorb all that had happened in the last few minutes.
I was chosen for the surgery. Holden wants to talk to me alone.

“
Do you need to interrogate me about the empty coffee pots in the nurse’s lounge? I swear I’m not the culprit,” she quipped, finding herself suddenly nervous at how quickly the atmosphere around her had changed.
We’re alone… and he looks like the most divine creature on the planet…and I can’t even make myself look at him.

Holden looked down at his feet and let out a soft
laugh.

He shook his head and she could tell he was amused.
“No Addison, any student chosen to assist in tomorrow’s surgery would have been asked to stay.”
Oh.
“There’s a few waivers that you need to read over and sign, as well as some procedure codes to go over,” he said, pulling out the chair next her and sitting down.

She nodded as she watched him take a seat.
So, this has nothing to do with us.
She watched his hands at work as he pulled various papers from his clipboard and slid them toward her. Her skin was tingling from their proximity.

“I’m proud of you
, Addy,” he spoke softly. His comfortable declaration finally eased some of the butterflies out of her stomach but she still couldn’t gauge how to read the situation. He had to go over these forms with whoever was chosen, but then he flipped it around with his endearing words. It was like one minute she was facing plain old Holden and the other she was facing the new, stern Dr. Taylor.

“
Yeah… thanks,” she stammered. “I can’t believe I was right. I mean, I definitely thought Henry would end up getting picked...” she admitted, still shocked.

There was an awkward lull in conversation as they both realized the significance of the moment.
How can we have small talk when there are so many things I need to say just hanging in the air?
She knew they didn’t have the time or privacy to talk about every detail, but she wanted to take the opportunity to ask him something that had haunted her since Monday.

“Are you going to tell me how you knew I was homecoming queen?”
she asked, her head tilted to the side as she turned to face him.

Addison
flashed a tiny amused smile as Holden looked down at the table, obviously surprised by her question.

“This isn’t really
the time Addison...” Holden answered, looking up through the glass paneled walls to the nurses and doctors bustling around the ward.

“No one can hear us in here,
Dr. Taylor
, and you owe me an explanation,” she said stubbornly, teasing him.

He ran his hands through his hair as if giving himself time to piece together what he was about to tell her.

“It’s not a big deal Addison. I drove to your house in Houston. Your mom showed me the picture. That’s it,” he offered sitting back in his chair.

Wow.
What?

“You did what? When?”
she asked, her treacherous tone giving away how taken aback she was. His response had been the last thing she was expecting him to say and he’d said it so casually, as if it wouldn’t have meant the world to her.
What’s going on?
Holden kept his gaze on the window panels as he began to explain.

“I went t
he week after you left for PA school. You didn’t tell me the day your program started so when I got there, your mom told me you had already left, and I knew I was too late.”

Too late?

“You know, I had such a hard time finding your address. Thankfully Alicia was willing to give me the information in exchange for my hospital badge and driver’s license number.” He laughed.

“I drove there even though you’d blown off my calls and texts, I couldn’t let things end the way they had.”

He drove to Houston? He came after me?

“But my mom never told me,” Addison
argued, instantly recalling all of the opportunities her mom could have mentioned it as they sat on the phone day in and day out since she’d been away.

“I asked her not to. When I drove to your house and found y
ou gone, I knew it was over. I told myself that fate would have intervened if I was meant to see you again. I felt so dumb driving all the way down there after you’d basically blown me off completely... Our timing was just off. So I moved on.”
No…

Addison registered his words, enduring the pieces of her heart beginning to rip away their once-healed scars.
Of course you moved on, you dumb bastard. That brunette was on you before I even left for Houston.
She sat staring at the documents in front of her with fuzzy focus. She couldn’t process all the new information he was unfolding before her and she knew she needed time to think.

The glass door to the conference room suddenly slid open and Dr. Warwick stepped in.

“Hey Dr. Taylor, we need to go see that post-op patient stat. She’s been waiting for a while,” the older man ordered, waiting for Holden to join him. Addison realized it was her cue to leave and she stood up, grabbing her papers and walking toward the door.

“I’ll see you in surgery tomorrow
, Dr. Taylor,” she spoke professionally.

Holden stood from his seat, his
fierce brown eyes holding hers in a final moment. “Make sure you read and sign
every
one of those papers before tomorrow,” he urged and she couldn’t pinpoint why his words shook her.
Maybe he’s just really serious about procedural codes…

The rest of the day passed in a blur
as Addison went through the motions expected of her. She completed rounds and ran through various tasks all the while playing through memories in her mind, wondering what she would’ve done differently if she'd known Holden had gone after her. There were so many questions she needed to ask him and didn’t know when they’d see each other again before surgery the next day. When she got a small break later in the day she stepped out of the hospital and called her mom.

She
answered on the second ring. “Hey sweetie, aren’t you usually doing rotations right now?”

“Y
eah, I stepped out for a second.” She took a breath before biting the bullet. “Mom, did Holden come to the house after I left for North Carolina?” Addison asked, bracing herself for whatever answer she was about to hear.

She heard a deep sigh through the phon
e before her mom answered. “Yes.” She paused. “He had a bouquet of magnolia blossoms in his hands when I opened the door; I’d never seen such beautiful flowers.” Addison found an old wooden bench near the entrance of the hospital and sat while she listened to her mom continue. “He was standing there, sweetheart, like a prince out of one of those silly films you grew up watching. When I explained that you had left for North Carolina the week before the expression on his face broke my heart. I don’t know what sort of spell you put on that boy... I invited him inside and made him a cup of coffee. I didn’t bring up the details of yall’s relationship... but he knew you told me all about it and I think he needed to confide in someone about it as well. I listened to him talk the whole afternoon, and when he begged me not to tell you about his visit on his way out, I knew I’d honor his request. It was so difficult when you’d call home upset about the way things had worked out, but I knew fate would sort you two out eventually.

I know you went back to Hyde Park hospital for him. You didn’t mention it in the car, but I remember details about your stories more than you think I do. I was giddy that whole drive
home thinking of how it would end for you two… Addison, just know that whatever issues you have with that boy, he cared for you at least as much as you cared for him, if not more.”

Addison sat frozen on the bench, feeling the last year of her life crumbling beneath her. Minutes passed by as she continued to sit in silence with her mom on the other end of the line. She didn’t have anything to say but she knew she needed her mom to stay on the line. After a few minutes, when she thanked her mom for keeping her promise to Holden and was about to hang up, she suddenly remembered her original question to Holden earlier.

“Mom, did you tell Holden I was homecoming queen?”

Her mother laughed on the other end of the line. “Oh gosh, he saw that picture of you with your crown and sash on the m
antel and I had to show you off; moms love bragging about their babies. Why?”

Addison shook her head, a small smile forming on her lips. “It’s nothing. I’ll call you tomorrow. Love you.”