Close to Heart (9 page)

He took a step closer to her, wanting to reach out to her but knowing she was vulnerable after the discussion with Franklin. He didn’t want to push her. “You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need to. I . . . ” He knew he probably shouldn’t admit what he was about to say, but she needed to hear it. He wouldn’t force her to stay, but he would give anything to change her mind. “I want you to stay, Lyssa.”

“Thank you,” she whispered.

Her hands slid up his arms, curling into the muscles of his biceps, clinging to him as if she would drown if she let go. Justin’s arm curled around her back and drew her close, her belly pressing between them. He felt the goose bumps break out over her arms, igniting the desire he’d been trying to hold at bay. She pressed her cheek against his chest, her fingers splayed over the muscles, heating his body with agonizing longing. His body throbbed painfully in time with his pulse, every part of him straining for her touch, straining to touch her. He could feel passion making her heart beat quickly, pressed against his. Justin was torn, fighting the desire racing through his veins and wanting to give her time to adjust to her newfound freedom and the consequences that entailed.

He wanted to do the right thing for Lyssa. She was filing for divorce, had every right to forget her cheating husband, the man who tried to break her spirit, to make her weak, just to suit his purposes. He also knew Lyssa was confused, and hurt. He didn’t want to be something she chalked up as another regret, a wrong turn on a long stretch of highway. But he couldn’t turn her away either. He was a lot of things—a small-town veterinarian, a big brother, an ex-football player—but one thing he wasn’t was a home wrecker. He had to let her make the decision.

Justin’s arms tightened around Lyssa as he tucked her head under his chin, holding her as their rapid heartbeats slowed, and he felt her relax into his embrace. “You’re the kind of trouble I don’t mind, Lyssa. The kind that’s exciting. The kind worth waiting for.” He ran his hand over her hair, cupping the back of her head, his thumb against her jawline, tipping her face toward him. “I promise I will wait for you as long as I have to.” Justin gently ran a hand over the side of her belly. “I’ll wait for both of you.”

He brushed his lips against the top of her head before he let himself become lost in her again, and reached for her hand, twisting his fingers through hers. “Come on, now that Franklin has calmed down a bit, let’s go see what he has to say.”

Justin peeked in on Lucky and the puppies in the kennel. “She should be able to go into the bigger kennel tomorrow since her incision is healing nicely. We’ll just need to keep her quiet for a few more days then she can move to one of the bigger runs.” He rubbed the dog’s head. “Poor Lucky. We’ll get rid of this ‘cone of shame’ for you.”

Lyssa let out a breath slowly, and he turned back to look at her, worried about how quiet she’d fallen. “Did the walk help clarify things?”

“It did.” She looked thoughtful. “But it doesn’t really make it easier to admit how stupid I was.”

“A mistake doesn’t make you stupid, Lyssa. It makes you human.”

“Staying married to him would be even more stupid.” He heard the resignation in her voice and wondered if it was regret or sorrow. It was entirely possible she still loved her husband and wanted to stay with him regardless of his abuse. She wouldn’t be the first woman to do it. “It’s better for me to just cut my losses and walk away. Now I just need to figure out where to go from here.”

Justin tried to ignore the relieved elation that shot through him. She needed compassion and understanding right now. Lyssa needed a friend, not a lover. He wanted to be both for her, but the latter would take time.

He rose and closed the kennel door when he saw pain pinch her delicate features. “Are you okay?”

She blew out a slow breath, running her hands over the sides of her stomach, massaging it. “Yeah, that was just . . . surprisingly strong.”

“Let’s get you back inside. Are you all right to walk?” She nodded but sucked in another deep breath as a contraction hit.

Justin wasn’t taking a chance. He scooped her up in his arms, intent on carrying her back to the house. Even pregnant, she weighed practically nothing. He took her through the back door and straight into her room.

Franklin must have heard the door slam open and came running. “What’s going on? Is she okay?”

“I’m fine, Franklin. Justin, put me down.”

He ignored her demand. He wasn’t letting her put a brave face on. He’d seen the pain in her eyes. Justin had felt the contractions clenching the muscles of her stomach against his abs as he carried her. She needed to see a doctor in case this was labor. She was only eight months along; it was still too soon. He settled her on the bed.

“I’ll be right back.” Justin shut the door behind him and grabbed Franklin by the front of his shirt, shoving him against the wall. “She needs a doctor.”

Franklin’s face paled. “We can’t take her to a hospital . . . not yet. Let me make a few calls and find someone.”

“Look, I don’t give a crap that you want to keep her hidden or beat her ex to the punch. That’s the least of our worries right now. She could be going into premature labor. You have five minutes to find a doctor or I’m driving her to the hospital myself.”

“Justin, stop.”

He turned and saw Lyssa standing in the doorway, a smile tugging at her lips. “If you would have listened to me instead of jumping into superhero mode, I could have told you they are just Braxton Hicks contractions. It’s normal, false labor.” She laid her hand over his arm, coaxing him to release Franklin. “Relax.”

“I still think you need to see a doctor.” He frowned but let go of Franklin’s shirt. The smaller man moved away quickly, straightening his tie and glaring at Justin.

“I’m fine,” she assured him. “It passes after a few minutes. I just need a drink of water.”

“Go back to bed and I’ll get it,” Justin offered.

Lyssa shook her head and arched a saucy brow at him. “Look,
Aquaman
, I’m not letting you boss me around, too.” She brushed past him and headed into the kitchen.

As much as he wanted to demand she lie down and let him get a doctor, he was pleased to see the spark of defiance back in her eyes. He would just have to keep a close eye on her and give her the freedom to assert herself. He chuckled as he followed her into the kitchen.

“I thought we agreed, I’m more like Thor.”

A
LYSSA STOOD ON
Justin’s porch and watched Franklin drive away the next morning. It hadn’t been easy to sign the documents ending her marriage and even more difficult to sign the restraining order cutting herself and her child off from Elijah, but Franklin was right, he was becoming more unpredictable, and she was worried about what he might do next. She couldn’t help but think about the times he’d grasped her wrist or pushed her against the wall. The restraining order was a statement both for herself and to him—she wouldn’t tolerate being treated this way. She was taking a stand and wasn’t going to cower any longer.

She took another sip of her coffee, looking up as Justin came out to the porch.

“Are you doing okay?”

“I’m fine,” she assured him. The corner of her mouth quirked up in a half smile, and she tried to hide it in the mug. “Do you always hover like a mother hen?”

Although the prospect of having Justin around all day had kept her stomach tied up in knots throughout the night. She couldn’t decide if it was the nerves at his nearness or the anticipation at what he might do next that kept her tossing and turning in bed. In the end, she’d blamed the Braxton Hicks contractions for keeping her awake.

“My sisters would say yes.” Justin’s hand slid to her lower back, as if he couldn’t waste even the smallest opportunity to touch her, and she took a deep breath, trying to still the butterflies in her stomach his touch provoked. “I just want to make sure you’re not having any more contractions before we bring Lucky into the mudroom. I have a whelping box all set up for her in there, and it will make it easier for you to watch her when I’m working. You won’t have to go to the clinic every few hours.”

“Oh, sorry. I thought—” She’d assumed he was asking about her emotional state with her divorce.

“I know what you thought.” He gave her a lopsided smile, the dimple deepening in his cheek. She fought the urge to press a quick kiss to it as his blue eyes sparked with boyish charm. “You, Ms. Cole, thought I’d be following you around like a sad-eyed puppy, just waiting for you to cast your beautiful emerald eyes my way. Just like the rest of your male admirers.” He leaned in close, his lips brushing against her temple, his breath hot against her cheek, sending a shiver of desire through her. “You were hoping I’d ask you out on a date tonight, weren’t you?”

“I was
not
,” she denied, appalled that he would think she did, and spun to face him, bumping her forehead against his chin.

“Ow.” He laughed, rubbing the area. “I knew you were hardheaded, but you didn’t have to prove it.”

“Oh! I’m sorry,” she said, turning to see his injury, her fingers pressing the edge of his jaw. “Are you okay?” She was having a hard time holding back the giggle that fought to be released. “That was an accident.”

Justin’s fingers captured her hand and his eyes went dark, hungry as he pressed a kiss against her palm. “Are you sure you didn’t want me to ask you out on a date?” His voice was gravelly, and she felt the need for this man burst through her like a sledgehammer. She couldn’t breathe as she stared at him and wondered if he wasn’t about to kiss her again. Heaven help her, but she wanted him to.

He blinked and the humor was back in his eyes, as if it had never left. “As much as I’d love to, I don’t have time to satisfy your insatiable ego today,” Justin teased with a laugh. “I have to see a man about a pig and Jessie about a horse. Ugh, I hate pigs,” he complained.

He was teasing her? She’d forgotten what it was like to have this kind of friendship with a man, to be able to joke around. To flirt. Franklin was sweet but he was careful now, because of Elijah. Playful banter had never really been a part of her marriage. Elijah didn’t tease; he didn’t have time. In his eyes, life was a race to get to the top, and anyone frivolous enough to waste time playing deserved to be trampled on the way up. He’d been commanding and attentive, but serious and driven. He saw what he wanted and went after it. That included her at one time. Fun had never been part of the equation, and she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed it over the years.

“Aw, you poor, overworked man,” she cooed sympathetically, laying her hand against his chest. “I’ll make you a deal. You go see about your horse and pig. I’ll stay here and answer phones, then I’ll make us something special for dinner.”

His hand covered hers, his eyes igniting, instantly hot and hungry. She felt the breath leave her lungs as her heart immediately picked up speed, matching his, racing under her fingers. What was it about Justin that could make her feel like a teenage girl on her first date again?

He bent his head toward her and she met him with a needy kiss of her own. Her hand ran through his short hair, pulling him closer, as she gave herself over to the hunger for this man. Her tongue snuck between his lips, twisting with his in a dance of desire. She could easily lose herself in this cowboy. His kindness, his compassion, the way he could light her body like a wanton candle.

Justin’s hands found her waist, moving upward, caressing the rounded curve of her breast, sending white-hot jolts of lightning through her body, making her quiver with anticipation. Her entire body seemed to ignite with flames, licking at the edges of her control, ready to rage in an inferno that would engulf her. And then he took a step back, smiling down at her, pressing his forehead against hers and cupping his hand at her cheek. “Ah, Lyssa, food isn’t what I’m hungry for.”

Justin’s every touch was electric, as though a current ran from him through her. He was intense, but not in a way that frightened her. He unavoidably drew her to him, wanting him to touch her, to be near. She wanted to inhale the scent of him—male and musky—and feel the calluses of his fingers against her skin. This need, raw and primal, urgent and fierce, scared her. It was something she’d never felt before.

As much as she wanted him, wanted to feel this way again, to know that she hadn’t been permanently scarred from the abuse in her marriage, she was wasn’t ready for their relationship to move this quickly.

She’d spent years getting to know Elijah in college, first as friends then letting her feelings for him grow over time from friendship to love, or at least what she’d thought was love. The first time they’d had sex, it had been slow with little surprise, her feelings for him tender and sweet. She’d cared about Elijah, but there hadn’t been this burning passion, and certainly not after knowing him only a matter of days.

Justin’s thumb brushed over her lower lip where she could still feel the tingles of heat from his kiss. “I’d better get to work. If I don’t go now, I’m never going to.”

He trotted down the three steps and climbed into his truck. “I’ll be back late this afternoon. We’ll move Lucky when I get back, and don’t forget to feed Rocky every two hours like I showed you. If there are any emergencies, just patch them through to my phone.”

As his truck pulled down the driveway, Alyssa held up a hand to wave and wondered what time Justin would be home.

When did this place become home?

J
USTIN REACHED DOWN
to rub his leg where that damn pig had nipped him as he drove down the long, tree-lined driveway of Heart Fire Ranch and saw his sister riding the black gelding she’d rescued. He felt a pang of nostalgia prick his chest when he thought about how she’d turned the family dude ranch into a horse rescue, but he really couldn’t complain. The nonprofit facility was helping horses and troubled teens, and his sister was happy. She’d taken his parents’ dream and shaped it to fit her own. At least he wasn’t doctoring her horses for free any longer.

Jessie waved as he stopped near the barn, and she walked Jet toward the fence. “Hang on and I’ll meet you inside.”

He gave her a thumbs-up and headed inside where Aleta, a foster kid who was practically a member of their family now, was leading out the mare he was there to doctor. She clipped the ties to each side of the mare’s halter. “Hey, Justin. Do you really have Alyssa Cole at your house? Is she going to come here? Can you let me know so that I can make sure I’m at the ranch when she does? What’s she doing there anyway?”

“Whoa, kiddo, slow down.” He laughed at her enthusiasm as he ran his hand over the mare’s shoulder, taking in her rough coat and bony condition. The mare looked no worse than most of the horses Jessie rescued from feedlots and abusive homes, so he wondered why his sister had called him. “Bailey talks too much. We need to keep it quiet that she’s there for now. But yes, I’ll let you know before I bring her over here, if you promise to keep it a secret.”

She quizzically cocked her head to one side. “Who would I even tell? Mom?”

Aleta’s foster mother was a close friend of the family, his mother’s best friend before she died. As much as he adored June, Justin knew Aleta’s foster mother participated actively in the small-town-gossip grapevine. Right now, that was the last place he wanted Lyssa’s name mentioned. They’d had enough trouble with the media after Evan had put Julia in the hospital. He wasn’t ready to deal with that circus again.

“I’ll tell you what, you keep quiet about all of it and I’ll let you have Grady. Not just to use but to keep.” He knew how much Aleta adored his old gelding, and since Grady was his former rope horse, he was just sitting in the pasture when Aleta wasn’t riding him. It would remedy two situations: keeping Grady in shape and keeping Lyssa’s whereabouts a secret.

“Deal!” Aleta obviously knew an offer too good to pass up when she heard it.

“Are you giving away my horses again?” Jessie teased Justin as she walked in. “Aleta, June said she’d be here in about an hour, so if you want to take Grady out, you’d better do it now.”

With a little squeal of delight, the teen rushed off to get the gelding saddled, and Justin shook his head. “Remember being like that? Everything was an adventure?”

“Yeah. That was nice of you to give her Grady.” Jessie’s eyes were tender as they followed the girl.

“She adores him and I don’t like seeing him sitting in the pasture so much. It’s not good for his legs. His arthritis kicks in and . . . ” He let his words trail off as he shrugged nonchalantly.

“Don’t act like you didn’t just give that kid her dream.” Jessie shook her head and wrapped an arm around her brother’s waist. “You’re not nearly as tough as you want everyone to think you are.” She moved to the feed room and came back with a bucket of grain. “I hear the past few days have been exciting for you, too.”

“Bailey?” Justin clenched his jaw, wishing his cousin had kept the information to herself.

“Julia. Last I heard, you told me Alyssa was going to have her dad pick her up.” Jessie eyed him skeptically. “Are you sure you really want to get involved? I mean, after dealing with all the reporters during Evan’s trial, do you really want the media attention a celebrity might bring? You’re not exactly patient or laid-back.”

Justin glared at his sister. “I’m patient,” he argued.

“Yeah, sure you are. So, how was Mr. Gill’s pig?” she asked, changing the subject.

“Someone needs to turn that potbelly into bacon. He bit my leg again.” Justin shook his head, grateful for the protection offered by his heavy denim jeans. “What’s up with this one?” He jerked his chin at the mare in cross-ties and ran a hand over her back. “She obviously needs some groceries, but she looks okay otherwise.”

“I can’t get her to perk up. I’ve had her here about a week now and nothing has helped.” She wiggled the grain bucket, but the mare’s ears barely twitched in her direction. Instead, she hung her head, practically ignoring their presence. “She got picked on with the other mares so I moved her into a stall, but that’s not helping much either. She won’t eat.”

Justin ran his fingers into her mouth to check her teeth. Finding nothing amiss, he pulled out his stethoscope and listened to her stomach, glancing at his sister. “No signs of colic?” She shook her head. “What about how she acts with the kids?”

“She loves the attention and will eat with them here, but goes right back to acting this way when she’s not being messed with.”

Justin tested her feet, checking for lameness, but couldn’t find anything physically wrong with the animal. He pushed his hat back on his head. “I don’t think it’s a medical issue, Jess. She’s drinking fine?”

Jessie nodded as he mentally ticked through the short list of illnesses that might be afflicting the mare. “So, when are you going to bring her by for me to meet?”

Justin didn’t have to ask whom his sister meant. She was like a dog with a bone. “You said you were busy with a camp this weekend, remember? That was why she couldn’t stay here.”

“Well, you were also supposed to come for dinner last night, before they got here today.”

“I know, but that puppy took a turn for the worse and we were up with him most of the night.”

“We?” Jessie’s eyes sparkled with insinuation.

“Yes, the same way Nathan helps you when you don’t have enough hands.” He looked toward the corral where Jet jogged around playfully. “Speaking of which . . . ”

“Nathan, Clint, and Mitch took the kids up to the Ridge for a team-building exercise. It’s a boys’ group home so they spend a lot of time with the guys.” Her eyes twinkled mischievously. “But I’d rather talk about movie stars, especially one who makes my brother ‘look like a teenager in love.’ ”

Justin scowled at her.

“Julia’s description, not mine,” she assured him, holding her hands in the air. “Although, Bailey informed me you haven’t been able to manage to keep your lips to yourself.”

Justin didn’t want to talk about his relationship with Lyssa. More precisely, his lack of a relationship. The woman was coming out of a bad marriage to an emotionally abusive husband. Lyssa needed someone to be her friend, offer her a supportive shoulder. She didn’t need a rebound fling. If he were honest with himself, he didn’t want to be just a fling either.

“I suggest you find this mare a friend,” he said, laying his hand on the horse’s shoulder and avoiding Jessie’s prying comments. “Maybe a pygmy goat to see if it’s just that she’s lonely. Put them into the foaling stall together and see how it goes.”