Closer to the Heart (The Heart Trilogy Book 3) (6 page)

“Do you want any breakfast?” I asked

“No, I just don't think I can stomach anything at the moment”

At the door he turned and a small smile played at the corner of his lips.

“Thank
s
Steph, just having you here helps”

Once James had been picked up I hurried to get showered and ready for my afternoon stint on the radio. I paused by Charlie's door and tapped lightly.

“Charlie, Juli
a
ar
e
you awake?”

“Yeah Mum” Charlie said.

“I'm off to work in half an hour so just hel
p
yoursel
f
downstairs. James has gone out with the police search but has promised to contact me if anything comes up”

“Thanks Stephanie” Julia said, as she opened the door and stepped out.

“How is she” I asked, quietly.

“Not good, but I'll try and keep her spirits up. I can always stay a couple more days if you think it will help”

“That's kind of you
,
let’
s
see what happens wit
h
today'
s
search”

In a way I felt relieved to walk into the studio. Naomi was off so there was no one on reception. In fact apart from Jack currently on air the place was deserted. I grinned in at him when I walked past the glas
s
window
,
he waved back before continuing his show. I stepped into my office and fired up the pc to check the emails. I responded to the ones I could and then forwarded the sales follow ups to Lesley and Amy. Then I went into the staff room and made coffee for me and then took one in to Jack.

As the commercials played he leapt up and wrapped me in his arms.

“Happy New Year to my best looking friend”

I swallowed, suddenly facing the reality of the situation at home. My hesitation made him draw back.

“Hey what's up?”

“It’
s
a long story for another day” I muttered, my body still trembling “I just need to switch off in here for a couple of hours”

“Tell you what why don't I hang around and we'll go for a quick drink at the wine bar when you finish”

“Deal” I said, going quiet as Jack finished his show with his usual flourish.

My show passed without hiccup and it felt good to play other people's requests and share in their joyfu
l
New Yea
r
dreams. I kept checking my phone but ther
e
wereno message
s
from James. Handing over to Mickey at the end I saw that Jack was waiting with my coat and bag draped over his arm. I linked my arm through his and we left the building. The wind funnelled down the street and we were blown quickly into the welcoming warmth of La Figaro's. Jack ordered us a couple of drinks and sat down beside me.

I recounted all the events of New Year's Eve, watching as his facial expressions fluctuated from shock and sadness to disbelief.

“As usual, my world can't handle too much happiness so this happens” despondently picking at the scar on my wrist.

Jack reached for my hand.

“You shouldn't think that every time you're happy something bad is going to happen”

I tried to smile at Jack's optimism but at that moment my world felt like the glass wasn't just half empty it was about to shatter into smithereens.

We finished our drinks and I checked my phone, still no news from James out on the search.

“Look I'm here for you, whatever happens. I won't let you sink this time, just think of me as your life raft” Jack said, standing up he hugged me close .

“I'll be ready if you need me to cling too” he whispered. I stemmed the tears that wer
e
teeterin
g
on the edges of my vision and instead hugged him back fiercely.

“Thanks Jack”

“Anytime”

We parted in different directions outside and I drove home, in case James was back with any news and to check on my daughter.

Chapter 9

The house felt silent and eerie as I stepped through the door. Normally if Charlotte was home music would pervade the space along with her own brand of vibrancy. Today all was quiet and I hoped it wasn't an omen for the rest of this year. Pam and Peter were still away and I hoped that we would not need to ring them with any bad news.

“Charlotte....Julia, I'm home” I shouted, as Jester appeared in the hallway. I laid a hand on his soft fur and his tail wagged just that little bit faster.

“Hi Mum” Charlie appeared in the lounge doorway “Any news?”

I shook my head and walked into the kitchen, flicking the switch on the kettle.

Charlie followed me and stood forlornly looking at the door into the studio.

“No dancing today?......you never know it might make you feel better”

Her silence was perturbing and I shut the fridge door and crossed to wrap my arms around her. Hugging her tightly I wanted to say so much to comfort her, but I had no words.

“He will be alright, I need him to be alright so I can tell him how much I love him and how sorry I am that I upset him” her words struggled as she caught her breath between each sentence. Silent sobs simmered just below her skin, struggling to break free.

We were still locked together when Jester barked and the front door clicked shut. I turned to see James in the doorway, wet hair, muddy trousers and pain still etched in his face. Charlotte broke away from me and went back to Julia in the lounge carrying two cups of tea. My arms were ready for the second person who needed their comfort.

“Baby” I cooed, as his broad shoulders hunched down and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“Did you find anything” I whispered to break the silence.

“His bike, but nothing else”

Christ, how was I going to break this news t
o
Charlotte.

“Bu
t
no bod
y
so there is still hope. Rob is sending enquiries to all the local hospitals in case they have any John Doe's bought in recently. With the helmet damaged he could be suffering amnesia” James said, his fingers tightening just that little bit more around my waist.

“Look, you're cold and shivering so why not go and shower. I'm going to rustle up some turkey curry to warm us all up on the inside” I said, reluctantly removing his embrace. He nodded and tried a weak smile before he went upstairs.

I looked round the door into the lounge and saw Dirty Dancing playing on the screen.

“Hope you're both hungry I'm doing curry for tea”

“Thanks Mrs E” Julia replied.

“I'm not really hungry” Charlie said “but I'll try”

The weak smile I had just seen on James' face mirrored on my daughters.

Keeping busy in the kitchen James returned and looked a little less pale as he got the bowls and plates ready. Opening a bottle of red he poured us both a glass and handed one to me.

“Sorry to be so down, I just need to know what's happened to Mitch. He may not be my biological son but he is one in my heart”

“I know
,
it’
s
hard for me too. But I am here for you, always and forever”

“Till the end of time” James said, his lips finding mine. I kissed him back, wanting to try and dispel some of his sombre mood.

We kept the tone light over dinner but afterwards I pulled Charlotte aside.

“They found his bike a bit further downstream, lodged against a fallen tree”

“Nothing else”

“No, but the police are checking all the nearby hospitals, just in case. They're also going to search further downstream”

Charlie slumped into my arms and sobbed whilst I held my tears back. When her tears ran dry she left my arms and ambled back upstairs to her room, Julia followed.

In bed with James later there were no words spoken between us, our touches and kisses soothed our souls. The next few days passed in much the same manner. James went out each day and traversed further reaches of the river and its banks. Julia stayed with Charlotte and I went to work. Pam and Peter came home from their friends and tried to keep busy and cheerful for us all. Five days later they found his leathers, torn apart and ragged. Rob cancelled any further searches, the body of Mitchell might never be found but he felt certain that he would not have survived what looked like a bike collision with the bridge in the snow of Christmas Eve.

“I think we should have some sort of service for him” Pam suggested one evening as we all sat in silence around another barely eaten meal.

“No” Charlotte declared “that will mean we are giving up hope, he might still be alive” she ran from the table and up to her room.

“I agree” I said “It might be the only way she will face up to Mitchell being gone”

James nodded but I saw the same pain in his eyes coupled with a glint of the same blind hope that he might have survived.

Charlotte returned to college and her slightly strained friendship with Shelley. Everything seemed to remind her of Mitchell that her studies and dancing started to suffer. In her room the wardrobe and drawers were still filled with his clothes and each night she slept in his t-shirt which now hung very loose on her. When she couldn't sleep she danced only to their songs. Each day bled into the next as her heart ached for him.

“Charlotte
,
it’
s
time to leave” I called upstairs, on the day of the memorial service.

“I don't want to come”

“Please Charlie, you need to do this. We all need to try and move on”

“I'll go up and see her” Sarah said. I smiled and watched my best friend ascend the stairs. After a short wait Sarah appeared.

“We'll be down in ten minutes”

I turned to James and he held out his hand for mine.

Sitting in the pews of the church I shivered at the cool air surrounding us. It was filled with college friends, fellow dancers and taking up the very front row was Felicity and Daniel. She turned to look at our party and despite the sombre occasion her expression seemed more of triumph than sorrow. She dabbed at her eyes but I saw no tears. Charlie stood between me an
d
Sarah
,
she stared straight ahead but seemed to see nothing. However I noticed her fingers were tight together in fists.

Simon stood up and spoke, followed by James.

“Mitchell was m
y
son
,
he wasn't always good and didn't always listen to me. But I hope that I taught him to be true to his feelings and beliefs. I will....
.
Miss.....him” his last few words stuck in his throat as h
e
choke
d
back sobs at the same time. I held my arms open to him as he stumbled back up the aisle of the church. Filing out into the bright winter sunshine I lost Charlotte in the throng of people wanting to share a few words with James. Finding a clear space I saw Sarah and Chris walking towards me.

“Have you seen Charlotte” I asked

“No. Perhaps she's with some of Mitchell's college friends” Sarah said.

“We'll go and look for her” Chris suggested, as he took Sarah's hand and they mingled between the crowds.

“Please I'm worried about her”

I turned back to locate James and saw him talking to Simon. I just caught the last part of their conversation.

“He asked me to find someone to open an encrypted computer file, then said he was going back home to you and Charlotte” Simon said.

“That'
s
interesting
,
I don't suppose you know this person and whether he still has the file?”

“I'll ask him, just so long as the police aren't involved I think he will talk to you. Call by the bike shop next week” Simon said “I jus
t
can'
t
believe he's gone, he was always such a careful rider on his bike and maintained it to perfection so this seems so bizarre”

James reached for my hand as Simon hung his head and walked away.

“Have you seen Charlotte?” I asked.

“No, but we need to keep this information of Simon's secret for the time being, both from Charlotte and Rob until I find out what might have been in this encrypted file”

“You think it might shed some light?”

“Maybe, I know this is supposed to be where we move on but coupled with Felicity saying that he was staying I just can't let it drop, even if the police have”

“Ok, but we do have other things that we need to do, it’
s
only three weeks until we get married”

He pulled me into his embrace and planted his lips firmly on mine.

“How could I forget” he murmured.

Charlie saw Felicity and Daniel trying to make a stealthy escape from the crowds. Running across the grass of the cemetery she cornered them at the lynch gate, barring their path.

“What did you do to him” she screamed, her fists still clenched
.
Her face was red with rage.

“I don't know what you mean dear?” Felicit
y
countered
,
her voice calm.

“You killed him to stop him coming back to me, you evil witch” Charlie pulled back her arm and aimed a punch straight at Felicity. However Daniel was too quick and grabbed her arm before she connected with Felicity's cheek bone.

Daniel moved so that Charlotte was pinned back against the wooden gateway.

“Get off me, you're hurting” she yelled. From out of nowhere Zach appeared and aimed his own punch at Daniel, catching him square in the jaw. He landed on the grass as Zach stood over his former friend.

“Leave her alone, go back to your fantasy life” he spat.

Felicity had already wandered through the gate and stood waiting for Daniel to get up. If only Keith had been around with his camera.

Daniel stood up and brushed down his trousers and jacket, casting a look at Zach that was hard to fathom.

“Stay out of our lives” Daniel said, taking both of them in with the statement.

“You too” Zach countered, his dark eyes blazing. His hand twitched to lay another punch on Daniel but he restrained his urge. Instead he turned to Charlotte who was crying and rubbing her arm.

“Are you ok?”

She nodded and tried to back away from him, but the gatepost prevented it. She hadn't seen him since New Year's Eve and even now she was in turmoil.

As his strong arms pulled her shaking body against his chest she caught her breath on the scent of his aftershave. Closing her eyes it took her straight back to the reckless night in his office. She had been back there many times in her dreams and they always woke her up in a cold but aroused sweat.

“You really shouldn't mess with them” he said.

“How would you know? She's a bitch through and through. I know wha
t
she'
s
capable of and I'm not giving up. I know she has something to hide”

“Well, she knows you're coming now. Perhaps subtlety and stealth would reveal more” Zach said, his hands running down her spine and resting on her butt.

Charlotte looked up at Zach, extremely aware of his grip, pushing her against him even tighter.

“So, when can I see you again?” He breathed.

“Um...uh...I don't think I can”

“I think that if I can help you out with your investigations then perhaps you can find some time?”

Before she could answer his lips were pressed against hers, their heat searing against the numb coldness. Trying to move back just made him press his weight against her. She tried to speak and his tongue dived inside and jousted with hers until she gave in.

Helplessly she squirmed in his embrace, her body betraying her true feelings of desire.

“Charlotte....Charlotte” she heard her name being called. Zach let her go and stepped aside so that Charlie could respond.

“I'm coming Uncle Chris”

“You will be” Zach replied “I'll make sure of that Charlotte”

He stepped through the gate and blew her a quick kiss before he strolled round the corner and out of sight. She straightened her coat and walked back towards the church, meeting Chris on the bend in the path.