Closing Books (11 page)

With a frustrated sigh, she twisted the cap off the bottle and shook out one of the pills. She was tempted to pop it into her mouth and continue to lie in bed until she could fall asleep.

At the last minute, she changed her mind and dumped the pill back into the bottle. If she took the pill now, she wouldn’t be able to wake up in the morning.

Besides, an unwelcome side effect from the sleeping pills was negating her initial reason for taking them.

Puffing her cheeks, she blew out a breath and threw the bottle into a nearby trashcan.
 

Instead, she got off her bed, trudged over to the window, and glanced out of her apartment.
 

The silence outside was accompanied by a stillness. Even the leaves appeared to have frozen in place, making it look as if time had slowed down.

Staring at the empty streets only reminded her of how alone she was. Even now, as she stood in front of her window, she was awake while the rest of the world slept.

It was as if the universe was reminding her how out of place she was, how she would never belong.

Once again, tears slipped down her eyes.

This routine wasn’t new to her.
 

Initially, when Evelyn was on her sleeping pills, she would be able to enjoy a good night’s rest for most of the night. Sleep that was free from all nightmares. Then, one pill was no longer sufficient. She began taking two, then three, and still, she’d find herself waking in the middle of the night.
 

She had enough common sense to know she was popping way too many pills just to get some rest, but it wasn’t enough incentive to get her to stop. Each nightmare-free sleep was a slice of heaven for her, and she wasn’t willing to give that up.
 

The newly acquired motivation to stop stemmed mainly from the fear of the scarier side effects.

Instead of the nightmare-free sleep, her nightmares returned in full force and it became more difficult to wake up from them.

The start of the nightmare varied. Sometimes, she would be immobilized on the bed. Sometimes, she would be hiding in the bathroom, her arms pulling against the doorknob as she tried her best to keep the door shut.

No matter how it began, the next stage of her nightmare always remained the same.

She would have to endure the sharp jolt of electricity from the Taser surging through her body, the tension of clenching her jaws so tightly that she was sure her teeth would shatter, the sting of sharp blades skimming across her skin, and the distinct feeling of warmth as blood oozed out of her.

Usually, she would wake up by then. She would be drenched in cold sweat and be shivering as she wrapped her arms around herself. But she would be awake and could remind herself that she was no longer in that hell hole.

The pills, however, were trapping her inside for a longer time.

She could bear the tortures in the nightmare. After all, she’d lived through it once. The true pain, the pain she couldn’t bear, wasn’t from the wounds inflicted by the torture. It was the feeling of abandonment and betrayal.

The abandonment of the people who were supposed to protect her.
 

The betrayal of the one person she had tried, in spite of her own position, to help and protect.

So instead of heaven, the sleeping pills were keeping her longer in hell.

Evelyn shook her head and brushed away her tears on her shoulders.

Since going cold turkey, her sleep dropped into two main categories.
 

On the ‘good’ nights, she would toss for two to three hours before finally falling asleep, then waking up from her nightmare in the early hours of the morning.
 

On the ‘bad’ nights, such as the one she was having, she would try, but no matter how she forced her eyes shut and made herself relax, her mind simply refused to shut off.

She’d tried imagining herself drifting on a smooth, serene lake. She’d tried counting sheep. She’d tried using all those essential oils that Kate had bought for her, but none worked.
 

Regardless if it was a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ night, not taking her sleeping pills summed up to only one fact—she would end up crying away whatever was left of the night.
 

During the day, she could be the strong Evelyn, the Evelyn who told herself that what didn’t kill her only made her stronger, the Evelyn who had turned out to be a better person despite the things she had experienced and done, and the Evelyn no one would dare mess around with.
 

The nights were another matter.
 

Each night, her insecurities and nightmares took turns to taunt and remind her of how unworthy she was.
 

Nightmares, insecurities, loneliness, and fear; her old companions of the night had all returned together.

Her hands moved toward her phone and dialed Dan’s number. Her thumb hovered over the call button while her sleep-deprived, slow-witted brain informed her that she no longer had the right to call him.

Things were no longer the same.
 

This time round, Dan was the one who told her that he was done, and he was already seeing someone else.

He deserved to be free from someone as damaged as she was.
 

She let her new phone slip from her hand and allowed it to drop onto the floor.
 

Returning to her bed, she got back under the covers, hoping that by the pure refusal to open her eyes, she would somehow fall asleep.

The summer heat outside wasn’t helping the temperature within the gym. With dust swarming the place, they couldn’t switch on the air conditioners or the fans and the heat was getting on everyone’s nerves.
 

Though Dan hadn’t done much work, his t-shirt was getting wet from the heat trapped in the gym.

“What the hell are you doing? Move over!” one of his men shouted from across the gym.

For a moment, he’d thought himself to be the intended recipient of the message. He took a step aside and knocked into another of his men. “Sorry.”

“Are you okay?” his man asked.

“Why?”

“I don’t know. You’re just moving around, doing nothing.”

Dan frowned, then turned and walked away.

His staff was right.

Confusion was clouding his mind, making it impossible for him to concentrate on anything. Instead of being any real help, he had basically been floating around the gym, checking everything and registering nothing.

The determination he’d felt last week was fading.
 

Instead of taking his mind off Evelyn, he had started to hope; hope planted by Christine’s continual speech on true love.
 

There was also the little Q&A session that he had with Kate, that was making him question the frustrations he thought was justified.

Even with his cluttered mind, he instantly noticed Evelyn as she strolled through the gym’s doors. He watched as she yawned and stretched her back, her hand holding a rolled-up piece of paper.
 

She waved the paper before her nose, trying to push the dust away from her face.

He couldn’t help but grin as he thought about the irony of Evelyn hating dust. Putting aside her house that was a permanent setting of the aftermath of a hurricane sweeping through the ladies department, there was no way she could avoid dust whenever she had to work on a piece of custom furniture.
 

She was so particular with details and quality that she tended to build them from scratch instead of finding parts and piecing them together, then passing it off as her own.

When Evelyn’s eyes began scanning the gym, Dan was tempted to hold his gaze to see if she was searching for him. But he decided that he wasn’t up for another round of disappointment so early in the morning.
 

He dropped his gaze and searched for something he could busy his hand with.

Carefully, he maneuvered through the main area of the gym that was acting as a storage and work area; wood paneling for the floors, sound-proof doors, and several huge mirrors leaned against one of the walls while another was lined with a few pieces of equipment.

He went over to a group of his men who were throwing around suggestions on how best to move the huge mirror without causing any damage. Everyone looked up at him, seemingly expecting him to put in some of his suggestions or give some commands. Instead, he simply looked away from them and back to Evelyn.

The instant their eyes met, his legs twitched as they instinctively wanted to move toward her. But he forced his heels back down and glued his legs to the floor. He turned his attention to his men who were beginning to yell at each other, making sure that everyone had a good grip on the mirror.
 

He had no idea what they were trying to do, but his hand gripped along the edge and he moved along with the rest of the guys.
 

The shouting continued while they tried to get the right angle to maneuver the piece of mirror around the cluttered place. His focus was required for the task, yet he couldn’t help feeling the strong sensation that someone was staring at him.

He looked up from the mirror and saw Evelyn gazing at him.
 

This time, Evelyn tore her eyes away and turned her back to him.

He sighed softly, and his disappointment quickly became irritation when he found himself wishing that she hadn’t done so. He should know how good Evelyn was at pretending that he didn’t exist, he’d already experienced it several times.

He took in a deep breath and adjusted his grip, fixing the piece of mirror for the studio.
 

“Hi, handsome!”
 

Dan looked over his shoulders, his hands still supporting the mirror against the wall, waiting for the industrial superglue to dry. “Chris! What are you doing here?”

“I was in the neighborhood, I thought I’d drop by and see if you’re free to go out for coffee or something.”

He hesitated for a moment. Without control, his eyes darted toward Evelyn.

Christine noticed it and followed his gaze. She looked over just in time to see Evelyn hastily moving away in the opposite direction. “So she’s Evelyn? That explains the look she gave me when she saw me walking in.”

“The look?”

Christine nodded while Dan’s eyes flickered over to Evelyn again. She was no longer looking at them and was busy texting on her phone. Just then, Evelyn turned and moved toward the door, her eyes still fixated on her phone, completely unaware that she was heading right into a few men whose eyes were glued to the large piece of mirror they were gingerly handling.
 

“Eve!” Dan shouted and sprinted toward her.
 

His shout effectively stopped Evelyn in her tracks and her head snapped right up.
 

Evelyn saw the mirror. Her knees locked and she froze in place, but it wasn’t enough. The men carrying the mirrors heard Dan’s shout as well, and in panic, the mirror slipped from one of their hands.
 

She saw the corner of the mirror making its descent toward the floor. She should get out of the way before the mirror shattered right before her face, but there wasn’t enough time.
 

She closed her eyes and braced for the pain. Instead, she felt a strong tug, felt the warmth and security, and the thumps of heartbeats.

Then, she heard the mirror smashing, heard the men’s shouts, but that was it.
 

She didn’t feel any sting from the pieces of mirror that should have come raining down on her.
 

Slowly, she raised her head and saw that her hands were fisted up in a black t-shirt; the same black t-shirt that Dan was wearing.

She looked up as Dan’s hand moved from the back of her head and cupped against her neck, his thumb gently rubbing against her cheeks.
 

“Are you all right? Did you get hurt?” His eyes searched her face, then moved onto her neck. When she continued to stare up at him, Dan took her hands and stepped back, giving her a look over. “Eve,” he said softly and squeezed her hand. “Eve, talk to me.”

“She’s fine! You’re not!” “Dan, I’m so sorry.” His men spoke at the same time, but Dan didn’t bother paying attention to any of them.

Evelyn blinked when she heard the statements, and she finally snapped out of her trance. “You’re hurt?” She pulled her hands from Dan and ran her hands down his arm. “Where are you hurt?”

“I’m fine,” Dan said softly, taking her hands back into his.

“Dan, you’re bleeding,” Christine stated, getting both Dan and Evelyn’s attention.

“Where are you hurt?” Evelyn asked again, peeling her eyes from Christine.

Dan’s hand reached up to the back of his neck and pulled out a shred of the mirror. He winced slightly, but casually threw the piece of mirror onto the floor. “Nothing serious.”

Evelyn moved around him and brushed her hand against his hair, checking if he suffered any cuts on his head. She sighed, relieved that there didn’t appear to be any serious injuries. His neck had a few cuts, with one that appeared to be deep. “We should call Joseph and ask him to take a look.”

“I’m fine.” Dan shifted and pulled Evelyn back in front of him. He pushed her hair behind her ears and asked again, “Are you all right? You’re not hurt, right?”

Shaking her head, her eyes searched the mess on the floor and found her phone. “I’m fine. I’m calling Joseph.”
 

“I should go,” Christine said with a smile. Then she turned to Evelyn, and with a wider grin, she continued. “He got injured because of you. You should stay with him and make sure he’s fine.”

Before Evelyn could say anything, Christine was out of the door.
 

Evelyn frowned and watched Christine leave as she unlocked her phone. “You should go after her.”

“I’m fine where I am. Besides, I’m hurt. I shouldn’t be running around.”

She would have been guilty if she thought he meant what he had said, but his goofy grin told her otherwise. She returned his smile, then turned away to speak to Joseph on the phone.