Clouds (28 page)

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Meredith said flippantly.

Instantly, the tears sprang to Shelly’s eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Meredith said. “That was cruel. I shouldn’t have said that.” She slipped her arm around Shelly and apologized again.

“No, it’s true. I deserved that. Jonathan is the most tenderhearted, loving man I know. He didn’t deserve to have his heart broken even one time. How will he ever trust another woman again?”

“I think I know how he can learn to trust again. I think you should write him,” Meri said.

“I thought you didn’t have his address.”

“You asked for Jonathan and Elena’s address. That one doesn’t exist. Jana did send me an e-mail address for Jonathan. You want to write him? I left my computer on.”

Shelly numbly followed her sister into the large study and compliantly sat in the leather chair behind the great mahogany desk. The screen of the laptop computer glowed like a night-light before her.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Open up your heart to him,” Meredith said. “Let him know what you think and feel. Let him know he is welcome back anytime. That’s your gift, Shelly. You have a welcoming heart. You can put complete strangers at ease. Look how you were with Jessica this afternoon. Jonathan is no stranger. He is your very best friend. Tell him you still love him.”

Shelly’s stomach muscles felt tight as she absorbed her sister’s words. She knew Meredith was referring to Jonathan, but so much of what she said corresponded to the way Shelly felt about the Lord and how she had responded that night at camp
by opening her heart and surrendering to him.

Her fingers began to tap out the message that was on her heart.

Looking up at her sister, Shelly said, “I don’t think this is such a good idea.”

“It’s a very good idea. Keep writing.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Tell him how you feel.”

Shelly gazed at the rows of floor-to-ceiling bookshelves that lined the softly lit room. She stared at the computer screen. The only thing that came to her mind was the crazy memory of when they had baked cookies at his house that one rainy afternoon when they were so young.

“It’s not going to win any awards,” Shelly said.

“It’s just right,” Meredith said.

Shelly hesitated before writing the salutation.

“Go ahead,” Meredith said. “Sign it ‘love.’ ”

Shelly wanted to say something more than love, because what she and Jonathan had shared for so many years was, in fact, much more than love.

“Just click on ‘send mail,’ and it’s off,” Meredith said.

“I don’t know.” Shelly reread the letter and thought it sounded sappy. “Maybe I should take my time and write something that makes more sense.”

There was a knock on the study door, and Kenton entered. “I don’t mean to disturb you,” he said, “but I’m going to get at those omelets now, in case you two want something to eat.”

“We didn’t mean to disturb
you,”
Meredith said with a knowing twinkle in her eye.

Kenton smiled. “You overheard?”

“Well, a little,” Shelly said.

“Just so you know, she said yes,” he stated calmly. “I had big plans, of course. Dinner, dessert, a romantic drive along the coast. Life sort of took a curve around here today. I knew if I didn’t get on my knees before the day was over, my heart would burst. I’d planned what to say over and over.”

“That’s wonderful!” Meredith said.

He smiled. “She said yes.”

“So you said,” Meredith commented.

A lump stuck in Shelly’s throat. She pictured Jonathan planning their bike ride and dinner all those years ago. He would have been just as happy and content as Kenton if only she would have said yes. But that was past. She was determined to move forward.

“Congratulations,” Shelly said. “I’m very happy for you both.”

“Are you okay?” Kenton said, looking at Shelly more closely.

“She’s trying to decide whether or not to send an e-mail to the man she loves.”

Kenton took long-legged strides over to the desk. Shelly froze when she saw his intense gaze on her. He stopped in front of the desk, reached over, and with a kindly, brotherly expression, he grasped her hand and said, “You must send it.”

Shelly was almost afraid to do anything else. “Okay,” she said, clicking on the ‘send mail’ box. A few seconds later, it was gone. Now she had the excruciating pain of waiting for his reply. She couldn’t imagine how people ever did it years ago when all they had was “snail mail” to send out the pulse of their hearts.

Shutting down her laptop, Meredith followed Shelly and Kenton back into the kitchen.

“Tell me more about this camp,” Meredith said. “Can we go out there tomorrow?”

“Sure, if you would like.”

It flashed through Shelly’s mind that Meredith wasn’t in the kitchen when Kenton mentioned the camp earlier. How did she know about it? She let the thought float away when she looked at Lauren.

Happy tears glistened on her face. “Did he tell you?” she asked.

“Yes! Congratulations!” Meredith said. “This has been quite a day around here!”

“Could you hand me the phone?” Lauren asked. “I want to tell Jess.”

“She already knows,” Kenton said.

“How could she know?”

“I told Kyle at the hospital. I showed him the ring.”

“Oh, let’s see your ring,” Shelly said. She and Meredith
admired the lovely diamond set in a Black Hills gold setting. “That’s beautiful. So unique. I love it,” Shelly said.

“Do you mean to tell me that you told your brother before you asked me?” Lauren said.

“Yes.”

“What if I would have said no?”

“I knew you would say yes this time.” Kenton cracked another egg into the silver mixing bowl and beat it with a wire whisk.

A new hope rose inside Shelly. She didn’t know Kenton and Lauren’s love story, but apparently he had proposed to her once before, and she had turned him down. They looked as if that delay in their relationship hadn’t adversely affected their love at all. Was it possible that she and Jonathan might be able to get together again? Would he hold out a ring in his hand to her once more?

“Then let me at least call my mom and my brother,” Lauren said.

Shelly handed her the phone, and Lauren dialed a long string of numbers. “Hi, Jake? It’s Lauren. Is Brad there? He is? With Alissa? Well, would you tell him to call me tonight when they get back?… Thanks … You too, ’bye.”

Suddenly all the names Lauren had just used rang a bell with Shelly. “Alissa? Brad? Did you say Jake?”

Lauren nodded. “He’s my brother’s roommate.”

Shelly’s mouth dropped open. “You’re Lauren!”

“Yes.”

“Lauren Phillips!”

“Yes.”

“You’re Brad’s sister! The one who …” Shelly was about to say, “The one who always has funny, disastrous things happen to her,” but she caught herself in time. “I can’t believe this! I’m Shelly Graham. I was Alissa’s roommate in Pasadena!”

Both the women let out a scream and gave each other a hug.

“Did I miss something?” Meredith said.

Kenton tilted the mixing bowl and coaxed the whipped-up eggs into the hot pan.

“I guess this is one of those ‘had-to-be-there’ things. What do you like in your omelet? Some mushrooms maybe?”

Shelly and Lauren chatted at full speed while Kenton whistled and flipped his omelet in the pan like a pro.

“Oh, my mom,” Lauren said. “I forgot to call my mom!” She pressed some more numbers on the remote phone. Shelly understood Lauren’s exuberance and went over to the stove to watch Kenton work.

“This is perfect,” Meredith said, taking a bite of his first creation.

“It’s a little browner than I like on the underside.” Kenton checked the flame and turned it down before starting his next omelet.

“It tastes wonderful,” Meredith said.

“Did Jana say anything else in her e-mail?” Shelly asked.

“Like what?”

“Like where Jonathan was living now. You didn’t say.”

“Oh, didn’t I? He’s back in the States. I’m sure he’ll let you know exactly where when he e-mails you.” Meredith walked away with the plate in her hand and poured herself a glass of milk.

Later, as Shelly lay awake in the geranium room, she wondered about Meredith’s illusiveness. The room was quiet except for the rhythm of Meredith’s metered breathing. Shelly couldn’t help but question whether Meredith knew more than she had let on. What if Jonathan was back in the Seattle area? Meredith would have told her, wouldn’t she?

Shelly’s heart and mind filled with questions about
Jonathan. Had he already read her e-mail? What would he think of it? What if he didn’t want a romantic relationship with her again? She hadn’t exactly come on strong in her letter. She tried to remember what she had said. He could interpret it as an old friend being concerned or as someone being vulnerable and opening up her heart.

Turning onto her side, Shelly felt certain she was going to drive herself crazy working through every possible scenario in her mind. Then it occurred to her:
You haven’t prayed about this, Shelly
.

With a huge sigh that released all her anxieties, Shelly started to pour out her heart to God. God knew where Jonathan was. He knew what was going to happen.

Shelly pictured herself in a garden saying to the gardener, “Where is he?” And the Lord God was saying, “I’m right here.” She took that to mean she shouldn’t work herself into a frenzy trying to hunt down Jonathan or trying to figure out what was going to happen. It was enough that God was with her every second. He wanted to be her first love, before any human’s. In that deep peace, Shelly fell asleep.

The next morning, Meredith woke her and kept urging her to get going. “What’s the rush?” Shelly said.

“I thought we would check out that camp Kenton mentioned.”

“Okay. I’ll pull on some jeans, and we can get going.”

“Don’t you want to take a shower?”

“Do I need to?”

“I don’t know,” Meredith said. “It seems like a good idea to shower.”

“To tromp around in the dirt? You’re acting wacky this morning; you know that, don’t you?” Shelly grabbed her clothes in a mound and headed for the shower. “I’d like to check your e-mail before we leave.”

“Okay,” Meredith said. “Hurry.”

Shelly didn’t hurry. She took her time. The shower had become her favorite place to pray, and she had lots to pray about this morning. After the shower she sat down with her Bible, eager to read several chapters since she hadn’t read any during their busy day before. While she was praying last night she realized how much she had missed her morning reading.

“What are you doing?” Meredith said, coming into the guest room with her coat on, all set to go.

“Reading. What’s your rush?”

Meredith had an exasperated look on her face. Shelly remembered that look from childhood. It meant, “If you don’t let me have my way, I’m not going to play with you the next time you ask me to.”

“It’s a gorgeous day outside,” Meredith said. “I’d like to do more than sit around here. I want to see what there is to see. Come on. Let’s go. Grab your coat, and let’s get out of here.”

“You always did manage to get your own way,” Shelly muttered as she went for her coat.

“Well, if I do it’s only because it’s for your own good!”

Shelly laughed at her whining sister’s logic.

Chapter Twenty-Eight
 

K
nowing how persistent Meredith could be once she put her mind to something, Shelly didn’t even try to argue with her sister this morning. Meredith started the car’s engine, and Shelly said, “Wait. I forgot to check the e-mail.”

“I checked it while you were in the shower. There wasn’t anything.”

“Are you sure?”

“There were letters,” Meredith said, “but none for you.”

“Oh.”

Meredith powered down the driveway as if she was in a hurry to get somewhere. When she hit a bump at the end of the drive, Shelly held on to the handle by the door and said, “Whoa, Meri! We’re not going to the hospital this morning. You can slow down!”

Meredith flashed her sister a coy smile.

“What was that for?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re acting awfully strange. What’s going on?”

“Nothing, really,” Meredith said, sobering. She turned left.

“So, when did you decide we needed to see this camp?”

“I just thought you might like to have a look since you’re into camping and conference centers lately. You even said last night after you brushed your teeth that you would be curious to know more about Kyle’s camp.”