Alice could hear she was
becoming upset. ‘Okay, Mum, look, I’ll think about what you’ve said.’
An audible sigh was heard from
Stephanie.
‘Thank you. You’re a sensible
girl. When you think it through, you’ll understand what I mean.’
When Alice put down the phone
she was left confused and began to wonder if she should just take her mother’s
advice and forget about her father.
***
Stephanie knew when she put down the phone, that she
would have to make a decision now; either to tell the whole truth to Alice or
somehow contact Roger. She hadn’t been telling the truth to Rita or Alice when
she’d told them that she had no idea where he’d moved to after they separated.
The divorce petition had his address on it. For some reason, the address had
stuck in her mind and she could remember it to this day: 25, Orchard’s Mews,
Witney, Oxford. She had read that divorce petition from cover to cover at least
a hundred times.
She had not had any contact with
Roger for about two years before she received the divorce petition, and it had
come as quite a shock to her. She had never really missed him before she’d
received the petition, and had often told herself she was glad to be living
without him; without the constant arguments. For some reason, however, when
he’d filed for divorce, it had made everything seem so final. It had saddened her,
and she’d been almost reluctant to agree to the divorce.
As she pondered the past, she
began to wonder whether Roger had another family now. It was very likely he
did. He had been planning to remarry, and that was the reason he’d given for
wanting the divorce. She knew it was possible he still lived at 25 Orchard’s
Mews, Oxford. After all, she still lived at the same flat that she’d been
living in at the time of the divorce. Even if Roger didn’t live at that
address, she knew it would not be hard to find him. Roger’s parents’ address
was in the old box that contained the photographs of Roger. She had not kept in
contact with his parents, but she was almost certain that they would be living
at the same address. When she had known them, they had always said that they
would never leave that house. It had belonged to Roger’s grandparents and he
would inherit it one day. His parents would know where he lived now. Then, she
found herself wondering whether they were still alive. Maggie Forester, Roger’s
mother, had been such a lovely woman. Alice reminded her of Maggie in the way
she smiled, and her voice sounded very similar. When she’d been married to
Roger, they’d often travelled to America to see his parents. Maggie and Ronald
were very friendly and treated Stephanie as if she were their daughter. They
said they’d always wanted a daughter, but Maggie had to have a hysterectomy
shortly after Roger was born due to problems that ensued after the birth.
Stephanie felt sad thinking that
she would never see them again, and then wondered why she was becoming so
sentimental. She hadn’t seen them since she’d split with Roger, although Maggie
did still send gifts and cards for Alice on her birthday and Christmas until
Alice was about ten years old.
It was possible Roger could have
moved to America, she mused. He’d often spoken about relocating there for work.
She’d often found it easier to think of him living in another country since
their break-up. It had been hard for her to come to terms with. Her mind
wondered about the plane crash. Alice had spoken of the young girl who looked
like her, with the surname Forester. The plane had been flying from Boston.
That’s where Roger’s parents lived.
She shook all of those thoughts
from her mind and dearly clung on to the hope that she had made Alice think
twice about contacting her father. But even as she thought that, she realised
that the seed had been sown. Alice would want to meet with him sooner or later.
If it wasn’t now, she’d have to face it again in the future.
She thought about getting in
touch with Roger. It would be so strange after all these years. But maybe it
would be for the best. She would tell him that she had not told Alice about the
surrogacy agreement, and ask him to keep it secret. It was the least he could
do after leaving her to bring up Alice on her own.
Deep down, she knew that she
would not be able to bring herself to contact Roger. She had built a wall to
block out her memories of him, and kept it well maintained for years. Even the
thought of having to talk to him or see him again was too much for her. She
could not do it. That only left her with one option. She would have to tell
Alice everything.
Chapter Six
Saturday 16th August 1997
Alice stood behind the counter in the bookstore and
looked around her. It struck her that there seemed to be books on almost every
subject imaginable. She wondered whether there were any books in the store that
might help her to find her father.
She had racked her brain trying
to think of ways to trace him. Living with her mother all her life, she’d not
come into contact with any of her father’s relatives. As he’d left home, she
never found it odd that she didn’t know them; after all, her mother wouldn’t
want to keep in touch with his family after the way he’d walked out on her
leaving them both behind. Alice’s family had always been just her and
Stephanie. There was no one else to be able to help her put the pieces of the
puzzle together. The only person she could think of asking was Rita, but she
didn’t want to upset her mother by getting her friend involved. It was going to
be difficult trying to find her father alone, but she knew she had to try.
The bookstore was quite busy as
it was Saturday, so Alice wasn’t able to browse around looking for a book. She
recalled seeing a book when she first started working at the store—a woman had
bought it. It was called something like,
“The Ultimate Handbook: Researching
Your Family Tree.”
The title had intrigued her, but as she had been busy
with her studies at the time, it had slipped her mind.
Late in the afternoon, when only
one customer was browsing the store—a middle-aged woman who seemed to be trying
to find a novel to read—Alice began to wander around. She began by checking the
“General Reference” section; that seemed like the best place to start her
search. She couldn’t see any books about family trees, or tracing missing
people.
Rob, the manager walked out of
the kitchen area at the back of the shop, holding a cup of coffee. ‘How are
things going, Alice?’
‘Um... fine thanks.’ She tried
not to look too startled. Oddly, she felt guilty, as if she had been caught
stealing.
‘Sold many books?’ he asked, his
eyes searching the store and then resting on the lone customer who was still
thumbing through the latest best-sellers seemingly trying to make up her mind
as to which one to purchase.
‘We’ve been quite busy today,’
said Alice, walking back behind the counter, realising she would not be able to
continue her search. ‘We’ve sold quite a few books.’
‘That’s what I like to hear,’
said Rob, taking a sip of coffee.
‘Um... do you know whether we
have any books about tracing missing people or long lost relatives? Er... it’s
just, a customer was asking about it earlier.’ Alice felt her cheeks redden.
Rob frowned and rubbed his chin.
‘Hmm... I’m not sure. Have you checked the computer records?’
Why didn’t I think of that
before?
she wondered, feeling stupid. ‘Oh... er... I’ll do that.’
‘I don’t actually think we stock
those types of books,’ said Rob, placing his coffee cup on the counter and
walking around towards Alice. ‘Excuse me,’ he said, pointing at the computer
next to the till.
Alice moved to the side so he
could get past.
He began to type something, but
after a couple of minutes he shook his head and told her that they didn’t have
any books specifically on those subjects; only reference books with chapters
containing snippets of information. He said it would be a good idea to order
something like that for the store, and he would do so when he next put in an
order with his suppliers.
She smiled at him but felt
frustrated inside, wondering how on earth she would be able to begin her
search.
***
Alice arrived back at her flat at 6 p.m. She was just
about to start preparing her evening meal when the phone rang. It was Jenny.
‘Hi, Jen, how are you?’
‘Fine. I’m just calling to let
you know the details for the party on Tuesday. We’ll collect you at about eight
from yours. The party starts at seven-thirty, but we don’t want to turn up too
early; we’ll let it get started before we arrive. Frank’s friend—the one whose
birthday it is—is called Tony, and it’s going to be at his house. It’s in
Kensington somewhere. Have you decided what you’re going to wear?’
‘Er... No, I’d almost forgotten
about the party,’ she lied. It had been at the back of her mind throughout the
past few days, and she’d been worrying about what she should wear. Although
nervous, she couldn’t wait to see Andrew again. ‘Um... I’ll probably wear jeans
with a dressy top.’
‘You should wear a dress; you
look great in dresses but you hardly ever wear them. How about that black dress
you wore when we went to Sheri’s birthday party?’
‘Yeah, maybe...’
‘You sound a bit down, are you
okay?’
‘I had a bit of a disagreement
with my mum.’ Alice frowned as she remembered their last conversation.
‘Oh? What about? It’ll probably
blow over.’
Alice played with the curly wire
attached to the phone, twisting it around her finger as she spoke: ‘It was
about my dad.’
‘I thought you never knew your
dad.’
‘Yeah, that’s what the argument
was about... Well, it wasn’t really an argument, but my mum got upset when I
told her that I wanted to find my dad—’
‘You want to find him?’ The
shock and surprise in Jenny’s voice was audible.
‘Well... I want to meet him.
It’s curiosity I suppose. I want to know if I have any brothers or sisters.
You’ve got a brother and a sister, I’ve always envied that.’
‘You can have my brother if you
want. He’s mad. And my sister is always stealing my clothes. It’s not all it’s
cracked up to be, Allie.’
‘You know what I mean, though?’
Alice sighed.
‘Yes, I suppose so. If I were in
your shoes, I’d probably be curious too.’
‘My mum won’t help me look for
him. She hates him for leaving us.’
‘Well, that’s understandable. He
might be a horrible man. There are a lot of them out there.’
‘Yes, but he’s my dad and I want
to meet him.’
‘Well... isn’t there someone
else you can ask? A relative? One of your mum’s friends?’
Alice thought of Rita and shook
her head. ‘I don’t want to involve any of my mum’s friends. It’ll just upset
her. And, I don’t have any close relatives.’
‘Hmm... well, have you tried
looking up his name in the telephone directory?’
‘That’s a good idea, but I don’t
know if he still lives in London... or even in England.’
‘Well, it’s worth a try,’ said
Jenny. ‘I’ll help you if you like. We’ll talk about it on Tuesday when I see
you. In the meantime, try not to worry. Just think of Andrew!’
Alice giggled and felt pleased
that her friend was on the other end of the phone line and couldn’t see her
blushes. ‘Okay,’ she said. ‘See you on Tuesday.’
When Alice put down the phone,
her first thought was whether she had any telephone directories in the flat.
She was pleased that she’d spoken to Jenny about it; Jenny was always so
practical and positive about things. Over the past few days the confusion in
Alice’s mind had made it hard for her to concentrate on anything and she hadn’t
even considered the possibility that her father’s telephone number could be
sitting there in a telephone directory waiting for her to call it.
She looked around her flat, sure
that she’d had a telephone directory at some time, but all she could find was
the Yellow Pages. Her mother had some telephone directories at home, so she
decided she would visit her tomorrow and try to have a look through them.
Feeling more optimistic, she settled down to supper with her mind firmly set on
the party, images of Andrew illuminated in her mind.
Chapter Seven
Sunday 17th August 1997
Alice woke up at ten o’clock. She had dreamt about
Andrew. It didn’t surprise her because she had spent so much time the evening
before thinking about him. Jenny’s phone call had brought the party to the
forefront of her mind and it was a welcome change for her to think about
something other than her family problems.
She had thought about Andrew
quite a lot over the past few months. They had never really spoken to each
other but she had admired him from afar. She met him at the beginning of her
second year at university. One of her friends, Selina, had introduced them. She
had been having lunch with Selina...
‘I’m just going to the toilet,’ said Alice, ‘Can you
watch my food?’
Selina smiled and nodded.
Alice walked away towards the toilets and as she did so, a young man walked
towards her; he smiled at her when she looked at him and she noticed how blue
his eyes were. They reminded her of a cloudless sky on a summer’s day. She
bowed her head as she walked past him, feeling her cheeks redden, wondering
whether she had stared into those eyes just a little too long. She was kicking
herself as she walked into the toilets realising that she hadn’t even returned
his smile, as she’d been so distracted by his beautiful eyes. She felt silly.
How could she just fall for someone like that without even knowing him? But she
couldn’t get him out of her mind. She checked her appearance as she washed her
hands and wished she was one of those girls who wore make-up. She had never
really been a girlie girl when she was growing up and had never experimented
with make-up; now she didn’t know where to start, so she didn’t wear any at
all, fearing that she’d end up looking like a clown if she applied it.