Cole's Montana Bride (Sweet,clean Western Historical Romance)(Montana Ranchers and Brides Series Book 7) (8 page)

Victoria was abruptly aware of how tall he was now that she was standing next to him in her bare feet. She'd forgotten Cole's stature, his sheer presence and the realization of it caught her off guard for a moment. She looked up at him as he arranged the chairs next to each other. When he turned and looked down at her there was a questioning look in his eyes. He glanced down at her bare feet. "You shouldn't be standing on those bare feet like that. These wooden floors are lethal cold," he said.

The truth was Victoria had hardly noticed how cold her feet were, so intent was she on taking in the imposing bulk of the man who, she had once told herself, she'd once loved such a long time ago. She thought it must the isolation of being in this cabin with him, the wildness of the rain hammering against the wooden walls protecting them from the Montana elements.

Cole went over to the single bed once more. He pulled the remaining sheet free from the bed and folded it into a neat pile, small enough to fit on his hand.

He came over to Victoria and wordlessly gestured for her to sit on the chair. She did so and watched, enraptured, as he kneeled down and gently took both her feet and placed the folded sheet on the wooden floor. He softly rested the base of her feet onto the thick, folded sheet and glanced up at her.

"Your little toes are like ice," he said with a quirk of his brows. He glanced down at her feet and then back at her. "That feel better?" he asked. Victoria swallowed and nodded, saying nothing, because there was nothing she could utter that would express how she felt at his sudden kindness, the gentle touch of his warm hands on her cool skin.

Cole took his place next to her on his chair. He opened up the wrapping and offered her a biscuit. "These are Mrs. Stone's special recipe. I think it's a secret. So don't ask her when we get back to the ranch house," he said.

Victoria took one of the small biscuits and examined it. "They look delicious," she said.

Cole took one for himself and quickly bit into it. His eyes lit up. "I can vouch for that," he said.

Victoria tentatively raised the biscuit to her mouth and took a small bite. She glanced over at Cole and saw that he was watching her every move. Some loose biscuit crumbs tumbled down the front of her chin. Victoria tried to stop them, but not before Cole had reached over and caught some of them in the palm of his hand.

"Don't want to make a mess of the cabin," he joked.

Victoria smiled and continued to savor the taste of the biscuit. Once her mouth was empty she spoke. "You were right," she said.

Cole lifted a brow. "About what?"

"Mrs. Stone's recipe is in danger. Once I get back to the ranch I'm going to insist she give it to me," she said.

"Good luck with that," Cole answered.

For a few minutes they sat side by side and just stared into the small glowing flame inside the stove. The rain still hammered against the outside of the cabin. Victoria felt a curious sense of safety sitting here with Cole. The warmth of the stove, the taste of the food, the feel of his presence next to her, all conspired to make her feel a singular comfort that she hadn't felt in a very long time. Her professional, orderly life in Helena seemed like something that existed in another world. And here, with Cole by her side again, Victoria had a strong sense that this was a world she had missed without ever admitting that fact to herself.

For a while all she could hear was the flickering flame, the rain outside and Cole's soft breathing. They both seemed to be lost in a moment that couldn't have been planned, but which was satisfying nonetheless.

Then the peace of the moment was rudely shattered by one simple question. One that Victoria had been secretly hoping Cole wouldn't ask. Because asking it would inevitably break the moment, force them both to think of things they'd spent the whole day so far avoiding as best they could.

Cole's voice was quiet but there was a determined edge to it as he spoke. "Do you mind if I ask you a question?" he said.

After a long pause he finally spoke in a quiet but direct tone of voice. "Can you tell me why you left?"

CHAPTER SEVEN

He'd finally asked. And all Victoria could do, momentarily, was make sure that she didn't look Cole in the eye. She didn't dare look at the determination she was certain would inevitably be burning in his gaze. She knew this was the chance he'd been waiting for. He wouldn't pass up this opportunity, now that it had fallen into his lap, courtesy of the Montana climate.

Victoria paused and fixed her gaze on the flames inside the stove. The silence in the room was heavy with anticipation.

What could she tell him? Could she say that her decision to leave Billings had been made almost on impulse? Would he possibly understand what had driven her to pack her bags and head for another town to start a new life, with her own destiny in her hands? Could he understand how much it had taken for her to make the decision to try and strike out on her own?

Maybe she could tell him that her decision hadn't been the result of anything he had done, but had been caused by her own youthful, rash impatience to start a new life. Would he understand? She wasn't sure. Perhaps the best thing she could do would be to spare him the truth. But didn't he deserve the truth? Didn't he have a right to ask her that one, crucial question? The one question she wasn't sure she dare answer.

Looking up at last, she peered into his burning, hopeful gaze.

Victoria sighed. "I don't know how to answer that, Cole."

"Try," he said simply and quietly.

Victoria shook her head. "I don't know that I can."

Cole ran a hand through his dark hair. He straightened in his chair, the seat suddenly looking small, as if it wouldn't contain the sheer, pent up strength in his body. Victoria could sense the impatience in him, a restlessness for answers which had been building up inside Cole for years. She didn't fear what she saw in him. She merely noted it and tried to figure out how she could tell him about the choice she'd made. Finally she realized that one of the things he was asking from her was an account of her past. Maybe he just wanted to know what her life had been like all these years.

"Life has been..." she hesitated and glanced again at him. Cole had leaned forward, realizing that, at last, she was about to open up to him. His eyes were locked on her. "Different from what I expected," she said after a pause.

Cole's gaze didn't shift from her for a second. His attention was rapt and focused. Victoria looked away from Cole, feeling a sudden need to break that contact.

Victoria lifted her chin up and turned to him again. "Life as a matchmaker has, of course, been very interesting. I've had the opportunity to meet some very fine people, and had the chance to bring some happiness into those people's lives. I think that's quite an achievement."

Cole's mouth twisted at the corner, then he said: "But has all that business made you happy, Victoria?"

She leaned her head to one side and scrutinized him for a moment. "I thought that it would. When I left Billings and arrived in Helena, it seemed like the easiest thing in the world to find a little office and advertise my service. I was filled with such excitement and hope for the future. I soon had a few clients and I threw myself into everything that was involved in being a matchmaker. People seemed to be happy with what I did for them."

"Did you forget about me so quickly?" Cole asked suddenly.

Victoria squinted at Cole. "How could I have forgotten about you at all, Cole. After what we'd had together. How could I possibly have forgotten any of that?"

Cole shook his head, wordless, and turned to gaze toward the stove.

Victoria shifted in her chair, feeling a chill sweep across her bare feet and legs. Cole seemed to notice her discomfort. "Are you feeling the cold?"

Victoria pressed her feet into the soft material of the folded sheet. "No. I'm fine."

Cole went down on his knees and wrapped the corners of the sheet over her feet. Victoria smiled at him as he looked up at her. Cole sat back down on his chair.

"I'm getting the impression that life in Helena wasn't quite what you'd hoped it would be," Cole said.

Victoria shook her head. "Being an unattached woman who finds wives and husbands seems to attract the wrong kind of interest from certain types," she said.

"I can believe that,"Cole agreed.

"Let's say that for every genuine man looking for a wife, there are at least two more who seem to think that matchmaking agencies offer something altogether quite different," Victoria said with a frown.

Cole's brows rose. "Are you saying that they thought you were running some kind of bawdy service?"

Victoria sighed. "Some of them did. At times I had to involve the sheriff. Being a matchmaker showed me something I didn't expect. People can be real desperate when it comes to finding someone they will spend the rest of their life with."

Cole nodded. "They can end up even more desperate when they lose the one person they thought they'd live with for the rest of their life. I can tell you that for a fact." His voice had a firm, even tone.

Victoria peered at Cole and gave him a soft smile of understanding. She could see the pain in his eyes now, feel the sense of relief that they were talking about these things. It seemed to have relaxed his large frame. He'd settled back against the back of the seat and had folded his arms across his chest. His chin settled on his chest and he gazed once again at the fire in the stove.

Victoria supposed she'd deserved that last remark from Cole. It was inevitable that he felt that way about her leaving. But she also wondered what he was making of her description of life on her own. And that was the actual truth of the matter that cut most deeply into her. It had, in fact, been a life spent largely on her own.

Of course there had been the occasional suitor, but she'd been determined that she wouldn't exchange one lost love for another uncertain one. So she had rebuffed the various advances that had come her way during the course of her matchmaking activities. The decision had ensured her independence but it had also guaranteed her a loneliness which had driven her to often think of the one man who had given her hope of a future. One that included love and family.

And now she was sitting next to that same man again, and she found she still couldn't completely open up to him, still wouldn't tell him the whole story of her past few years.

"Are you saying that life in Helena isn't something you think will last?" Cole asked softly.

"I don't know what to say about that life," she answered. "I've been so busy with the matchmaking that I've hardly been able to reflect on my options. The business is a success. It keeps me occupied and I still meet good hearted people. That makes it worth all the difficulty."

"So, you're never coming back to Billings?" Cole asked firmly.

"I never said that. My mother's still here. And there's probably more than enough to keep me as busy here as in Helena."

"What's stopping you coming back?"

Victoria paused and shook he head. "I don't know, Cole. It's difficult to explain," she said.

"Try me," he said quickly.

Victoria looked at him, seeing that same impatience on his face, the need for an answer. "There's more to it than just work or making sure my mama's okay," she admitted.

"Like what?" Cole asked. Then he said just one word in a tone of quiet desperation. "Me?"

Victoria felt something shift inside her when she heard that last word. There was need as well as a touch of desire in the tone that caused her to glance at him again.

Victoria smiled at him. "It would be impossible for me to not think about you Cole. I've thought about you a great deal since we parted," she said.

Cole's eyes widened and he drew his chair close to her own. Victoria did not move, merely watching as he pulled closer to her.

"And I have never stopped thinking about you, Victoria," he said leaning in closer. Victoria felt no need to move away from him. He'd been so kind to her since they'd entered the cabin. There was no hint of impropriety in his closeness.

"I know you haven't," she said to him.

Victoria could feel his presence close to her. The slight dampness of his shirt created a soft scent that was a curious mixture of Cole himself and the rain from outside. It was strangely appealing.

Victoria glanced into Cole's eyes and could see the strength of his desire for an answer still burning there. The dark stubble on his chin was clearly discernible now that he was so close. Cole still hadn't laid his hand on her arm but Victoria knew it was only a matter of time before he did so.

Cole's breathing had become noticeably quicker. "I've thought about you every day for the last few years," he said breathlessly. Victoria could feel the sincerity filling his voice, see the passion and ardor in his eyes. "Every day," he said. Then he reached over and placed a hand gently on her forearm.

Victoria felt an immediate and startling jolt of sensation makes it's way throughout her body. Her breath caught and she looked questioningly at Cole. There was a roaring sound in her ears and her heart began to quicken. She was sure the color of her face had transformed in that instant. Looking at Cole her suspicions were confirmed when she saw the faintest of smiles crease the corner of his mouth. It was a smile of recognition, not one of victory. Cole seemed to know, in that instant, that Victoria still harbored feelings for him. That he had tested her and uncovered a truth her words had hidden.

But still Victoria did not try to remove his hand from her arm. His touch was strangely reassuring and comforting.

"I'm glad to know that you've been thinking of me, Cole."

"Only glad?" he asked.

Victoria sighed. "I don't know what you want me to say, Cole," she said.

"I want you to say what's in your heart, Victoria."

Victoria lowered her eyes. She felt her brows furrow. What did she feel in her heart? Dare she admit to what the small, quiet voice had been whispering in her mind for such a long time? That she had made a mistake in leaving. That her life in Helena, while it had given her an independence she had once craved, now seemed somewhat hollow and empty. That she missed so much of the life she'd once had, especially the life she'd once shared with the man gazing fervently into her eyes in this moment.