Collide (45 page)

“I don’t love you,” she said, lying through her teeth. That lie was literally ripping her apart. Her eyes dripped with tears as she stared into his. “I told you I needed to get you out of my system, and I did. That’s all that night meant to me.”

Another lie.

However, there would be one truth that left her lips. “And I don’t believe a word that you’ve said.”

Gavin winced and held back stinging tears. Her parasitic words—each one of them—sucked the air straight out of his lungs. She took his heart, ground it up, and turned it into crimson paste right before his eyes. Struck nearly fucking speechless, he took a step back and released her from his hold.

“Thank you for the permanent scar,” he whispered, his voice broken and defeated. Without another word, he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked over to his car.

Cupping her hand over her mouth, a wounded cry escaped Emily as she watched him pull into traffic, his tires screeching against the wet pavement. With her heart sinking in her chest, she waved a taxi over. Hands trembling, she pulled the door open, slid in, and let the driver know her destination.

Tonight, sleep wouldn’t be either of their friends.

Tonight, loneliness, hurt, confusion, and pain would visit both Emily and Gavin.

Chapter Nineteen

Time

Gavin tossed his phone next to him on the couch after it’d rang for the twentieth time. Dillon was fast becoming relentless at this point, and Gavin didn’t give a flying fuck. Finishing the last bottle of beer in a six-pack, he mindlessly flipped through the television channels. The cool liquid slid down his throat, working its way into his body. However, the only thing he could taste or feel running through his veins was Emily. No matter how hard he had tried the last couple of weeks, Gavin couldn’t remove her. Nonetheless, he kept his promise. Though it desperately took every bit of self-control, he didn’t attempt to contact her. Still, that didn’t stop her from bleeding through every coherent thought or haunting every sleeping nightmare Gavin had. Emily morphed into an ache unlike anything he’d ever known.

The sound of the clock ticking away on the wall gained Gavin’s attention. He glanced at it and pictured Emily walking out of the church, considering it was the evening of her and Dillon’s rehearsal dinner. Gavin had no desire of letting Dillon know he wouldn’t be attending. None of it fucking mattered. He didn’t know how much more pain his heart could take and showing up at the church or the dinner would surely sink him further. Groomsman or not, he wasn’t going. In less than twenty-four hours, the woman he loved, the woman he saw a life together with, the woman he thought would hold his child in her arms one day would no longer be Emily Cooper. She would be Mrs. Dillon Parker.

All of it was more than Gavin could handle.

Standing from the couch, he made his way into the kitchen with every intention of cracking into a second six-pack. It was then that a knock came at the door. After pulling said six-pack from the refrigerator, he padded over to open it. Taken slightly off guard by his visitor, without saying a word, he walked back into the living room and settled himself onto the couch.

“You look like shit,” Olivia noted, entering the penthouse. “I may be wrong, and tell me if I am, but I’m pretty sure you have the funds to buy a razor blade. Has the man worth millions gone bankrupt?”

“You’ve never been short in the humor department,” he muttered, not looking in her direction as he continued channel surfing. “Shouldn’t you be at the rehearsal dinner?”

After dropping her purse to the ground, she peeled off her coat and scarf. “As much as you should be,” she quipped, flopping onto a leather chair. “You weren’t at the church, and you seriously don’t look dressed for the party. Come on, go take a shower, and I’ll wait while you get ready. Oh, and I’ll drive since it’s apparent you’ve been drinking.”

Shaking his head, he plucked a bottle from the six-pack, popped the top off, and took a long pull from it. He didn’t respond, but he gave her a look that was nothing short of threatening.

“What?” she asked in one of the most innocent tones he’d ever heard her exercise.

“Oh, give me a fucking break, Liv.” He narrowed his eyes on her. “You know I’m not going.”

She cocked her head to the side, her brown eyes wide. “Wow, Gavin, I thought you had a little more fight left in you. You’re a powerful man in every aspect of your life except for when it comes to this? When it comes to Emily, you just throw the towel in, huh?” She gave a casual shrug and crossed her legs. “Hmm, I guess I don’t know you as well as I thought I did.”

“Fight left in me?” he bit out. Clicking the television off, he tossed the remote onto the glass table, its piercing sound making Olivia jump. He rose to his feet. “Why the fuck would I fight for someone who doesn’t love me back? I’m fucked up over what happened. Believe me, you have no clue the ideas that have spawned themselves to life in my head the past few weeks, kidnapping her being one of them. I’ll love that girl until the day I fucking die, but I’m no fucking sap. Your friend’s a little more warped than I imagined.”

Olivia studied him for a moment as he paced the room back and forth. “Warped? You do realize who opened your door showing off pretty red panties the morning after you dropped Emily off, correct?” He shot her an icy look, but she continued. “She’s ripped to pieces, Gavin. You have a long history of fucking women and then leaving them. My friend’s hurt because you fucked around behind her back. Did you expect a different reaction from her?”

Raking his hands through his hair, Gavin squeezed his eyes shut. “I didn’t fuck around behind
her
back!” When he opened them, he could see the shock on Olivia’s face, but he didn’t give a shit at that point. “You may be correct on not knowing me as well as you thought you did, but you do know the uncaring animal that I’ve turned into the past few years. Why the fuck would I go to her job, trying to get her back? Why would I pour my fucking heart out to the girl? For a piece of ass?” He chuckled, but that chuckle held no humor behind it. Digging into his pocket, he pulled his cell phone out and tossed it to her.

“Damn, Gavin.”

“Damn nothing. Look in my contacts list. There’s no shortage of ass that’s eagerly available to me. It’s plentiful. I make a phone call, and I can fuck for days if I wanted to. Gina came here that night drunk, telling me her father died. Yes, maybe I shouldn’t have let her in. Yes, maybe I should’ve thrown her out onto the street like the animal she turned me into.” Letting out a defeated sigh, he sat back down on the couch with his elbows on his knees as he gripped his hair. “But I didn’t,” he whispered. “I didn’t, and now Emily’s gone. The girl I love doesn’t believe me because I was stupid enough to let the girl I used to love into my house. She fell asleep on my couch with her pants off. I didn’t even want to touch her to get her out of here that night because she wasn’t dressed. I didn’t want my hands touching her because my hands had just touched Emily.”

He lifted his head and looked directly at Olivia where she sat unmoving. “I love Emily. Fuck, I love her enough that I would do it over again—pain and all—just to hold her again. But I didn’t do anything wrong other than let Gina in. So, no, Olivia, it has nothing to do with me being powerful or throwing in a towel. It has everything to do with the fact that Emily doesn’t believe me, and most of all…she doesn’t love me.”

After a few seconds of noticeably trying to take in everything he had said, Olivia stood up and sat herself next to him. She placed her hand on his shoulder. “She does love you, Gavin. She—”

“Come on, Liv,” he interrupted, reaching for his beer. He finished it in one gulp. “She told me she didn’t. Do you need me to quote her words? They’re as fresh as fuck in my mind. Buzzed or not, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“I know what she
told
you.” She took the empty bottle from his hand and placed it on the table. “But I also know what she told me
after
you came to her that night.” He went to speak, but she silenced him with a classic Olivia smash of her fingers against his lips. “You’re correct that she doesn’t believe you right now. But you’re incorrect that she doesn’t love you. She said those things to you to try to hurt you the way she felt you hurt her. She’s been a mess, Gavin,” she whispered, her eyes soft. “Her nerves are shot. She’s been depressed, quiet, and throwing up over the whole situation. Even though she thinks she’ll be able to rid you from her mind and fall back in love with Dillon, anytime Dillon’s not with her, she’s crying…over you.”

“You say she loves me, she’s crying over me, and yet she’s marrying him?” he asked, completely unconvinced of anything she had just said.

“I know what you’re thinking, but—”

“Oh, do you? Because I’m not even sure I know what the fuck I’m thinking right now,” he said, rising to his feet. Beer wasn’t doing its job at this point. Stronger. He needed something stronger. Stalking into the kitchen, he swung the cabinet door open, pulling out a bottle of bourbon and a shot glass.

Olivia stood up, crossing her arms. “Are you going to let me finish what I was saying, dick?”

“I’m a cheater and a dick now? Sure, why the fuck not?” he replied, his tone thick with sarcasm. He promptly filled the shot glass. After tossing it back, he smacked his lips together and looked at her. “What kind of shit are you handing me, Olivia? None of it makes any sense. Not one fucking iota of it does.”

Moving to the kitchen, Olivia flipped her golden hair to the side and looked at Gavin as if he had ten heads. “What part don’t you understand, Blake?”

Now he returned the same look, but she continued.

“Dillon was a safe bet when she moved out here with him. She stumbled upon you, and as much as she tried to fight it, the girl never stood a chance against you, Gavin. Forget about the way you two met.” Pausing, a light laugh escaped her lips. “You had her from the moment she saw you. Believe me, I had to hear all about Mr. Tall, Dark, and Fuckable Handsome.”

Gavin couldn’t help it, but he drew up a curious brow at that statement.

“After everything she went through with Dillon, you then became her safe bet. But now, that’s been ripped from her. Unfortunately, you have her thinking Dillon is indeed the safer bet.”

“Stop saying safer bet,” he grunted as he poured another shot, still intrigued by the nickname he never knew about.

Olivia let out a sigh and rolled her eyes.

“So let me get this straight,” he leaned against the counter, a lopsided smirk on his face. “She’s taking the consolation prize that happens to be the prick that really cheated on her?” He then paused and let out a chuckle. Though his pain remained, the effect of the alcohol was quickly catching up to him. “Wait. Apparently, I’m the prick that cheated on her.”

“Consolation prize?” she asked, her brows furrowed. “Is this a game to you, Gavin? She’s hurting right now.”

“Fuck no, it’s not a game. It’s my fucking life, and it’s what should’ve been mine and Emily’s life together.” He chucked another shot down his throat, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and slammed the glass on the counter. “I’m hurting, too, but let me guess, you still think I fucked around behind her back. Go ahead. Tell me you don’t believe me either.”

“To tell you the truth, buddy, when I first got here, no, I didn’t believe you,” she answered, looking to her watch. She brought her eyes back to him. “But now I do.”

“Oh, do you?” He smirked, almost laughing. “And why do you believe me all of a sudden, oh mighty queen, Olivia?”

She stared at him for a long moment and then moved across the room to grab her purse, coat, and scarf. She made her way over to the door and turned back to look at him. “Because even when you were at your worst after Gina,” she whispered, her expression pained, “you weren’t as…fucked and tortured-looking as you appear to be right now.”

Swaying slightly, that smirk dropped from his face as he peered at her.

“I love you both. You’re my second brother, and she’s the sister I never had.” She let out a deep breath. “And it’s killing me to see the two of you hurting the way that you are.”

Tossing his hands through his hair, he perched himself on a barstool. “What do I do?” he asked, his voice low and his heart sinking lower. “For the first time in my life…” He hesitated and looked down to the ground. He then slowly brought his gaze back to hers. “God, for the first time in my life, Olivia…I don’t know what to do. She doesn’t believe me.”

Although he couldn’t see it from across the room, Olivia’s eyes glassed over. Looking back down to her watch, a timid smile crept over her mouth. “Then make her believe you, Gavin. You have less than twenty-four hours to change the course of both of your lives.” She slung her purse over her shoulder and opened the door. “I hope I see you there,” she said, stepping out into the hallway. Gavin watched as she poked her head back in. “Oh, and if you do decide to go get our girl, do yourself a favor and shave. You’re definitely a cutie, honestly, but I’m not digging the whole five o’clock shadow thing you got going on right now.”