Combust (The Wellingtons #1) (2 page)

When Reese lost her virginity to Cy at age sixteen, I thought she was crazy. But I also knew she was crazy in love, and I couldn’t begrudge her for that. It’s nice that she’ll always be able to remember her first time being with someone she was in love with, someone she’ll never regret being with. That’s why I never took that final step with Blake. I wasn’t in love with him, and nothing compelled me to let him be the one.

Now that I’m eighteen, though, why am I so eager to get it over with? It’s as if becoming what the world considers an adult and going off to college has turned on some magical switch in my brain that’s telling me that it’s okay to have sex. It’s okay not to wait until marriage—or even until love. I’m starting a new chapter in my life. I’m finally going to be away from home, out of the watchful eye of Dad and the entire town of Bethel. I’m finally going to be able to find my independence and live my life the way I want to. And that’s what I want to do. Live. Experiment. Have fun. Figure out who I am and what I want in life. Isn’t that what college is all about?

Okay, sure, we all go there for higher education and all that good stuff, but it’s also about gaining life experiences so that, when we’re thrown into the real world, we can stand on our own two feet, head held high, screaming, “Look out, world (and men)! I’m here!”

“Hello? Earth to Andi!” Reese is giving me a quizzical look when I revert my eyes to her.

I give her a sheepish grin and set my shoulders. “You know what? Maybe you’re right. I’m young and single, and I’d rather concentrate on classes than a relationship. So maybe I’ll find someone fun, and if one thing leads to another, then so be it.”

Even with my internal monologue telling me that I’m ready, just saying it out loud sends a wave of unease throughout my veins. Can I have meaningless sex? I guess only time will tell.

All I know is that I’m feeling like my brain’s going through its own form of a ping-pong match where one side is yelling,
Lose it already!
and the little, white angel on the other side is slamming the ball back, singing,
Wait for it.
The wishy-washiness of this subject is already giving me a headache, and I’m ready to put it to rest, at least for now. I tell myself that’s probably normal and push the anxiety aside because there is plenty of time and no pressure for anything. I’m way overthinking this, and I need to just let nature take its course. I can’t force anything, and there’s no way in hell I’m going to a party for the simple fact of looking to have sex. That’s not happening.

“Oh great! If I were single, I’d start college with the same mindset. And you’re in luck. Cy’s fraternity is having a party the first weekend, and what better place to meet a hot college guy to fool around with?”

I can’t help but roll my eyes at her. “Right. Because the type of guy I want to lose my virginity to would be at a frat party. Are you crazy? Those guys are man-whores.” I’ve heard the stories from my older brother, and I shake my head, knowing there’s no way that’s happening.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Andi. They’re the perfect type. Hot. Experienced. Part of the reason my first time didn’t suck so bad was because Cy knew what he was doing. But you have a while to think about it. Just remember—keep an open mind,” she reminds me, and I simply nod. Easy for her to say.

The thought of a hot, experienced guy for my first time actually makes perfect sense, but not at a frat party where anyone could walk in. Lisa might not have cared about my getting an eyeful when I found her with Blake, but I will never be that girl. There’s no way in hell I’d put myself in a situation where that could happen. Not to mention, the sounds of loud music and a hundred people partying isn’t exactly the ideal setting for my first time. I’m not asking for candlelight, roses, and old-school ‘90s R&B playing on the radio, but a party setting is less than ideal.

Rather than tell Reese that, I say what I can to appease her. “All right. I’m not making any promises, but I guess I’ll consider it.”

Squealing, she gives my shoulder a squeeze. “This is so exciting! My little Andi’s growing up. It’s about time I finally talked some sense into you.”

I shake my head and think about what she said. Rip the Band-Aid off? Maybe she’s right. It’s not like I’m waiting for my Prince Charming to walk through the door with the key to my chastity belt, and I’m definitely not looking for a boyfriend either. As I listen to her prattle on about the party, I decide that I might as well go for it. Quick and painless—well, as painless as possible. Now all I have to do is find the right willing guy. On a campus of twenty thousand students, it shouldn’t be too hard. Hot and experienced, just like she said.

Remind me never to listen to Reese again.

I WAKE up to a dull, throbbing in my head and wince at the sunlight pouring through the blinds. I have to blink twice, suddenly aware that I never went back to my dorm last night. A soft snore startles me, and I turn to see him,
the one
, shifting in his sleep. Wincing again—but for an entirely different reason—I slowly lift the covers off me and slide out of the bed, trying my hardest to keep quiet. The irony of the act doesn’t escape me, and I have to stop myself from laughing. Just twelve hours ago, I was a virgin, and now I’m the girl sneaking out after a one-night stand— if you can call it that.

As I glance around the room, I hastily find my jeans, bra, and T-shirt, pulling them on, barely registering that I can’t find my panties. Cursing, I decide to forget about them and leave them as a memento. Not that he probably wants one.

Thankful to see my purse sitting by the door, I turn to take one last look at him. He’s absolutely adorable when he sleeps, just as he was when he was awake—good-looking in that cute, boy-next-door kind of way. I want to crawl back into bed and cuddle up against his lean chest, but after the mortification of what happened last night, I doubt he’s going to want to see me when he wakes up.

While part of me would agree with him on that sentiment, the other part actually wishes things had turned out differently. With a heavy sigh, I quietly ease the door open just a smidge so I can slip out, tiptoeing down the hallway as not to alert anyone of my presence. The last thing I need is a resident advisor catching me and getting us both into trouble.

As I make the walk of shame across campus, I’m grateful that most people have decided to sleep in, most likely recovering from the events of the night before or resting up for all the tailgating to be had before the Volunteers football game this afternoon. However, there are a few stragglers out, some early morning joggers, and even though I know it’s crazy, I feel like everyone I pass knows I’m in last night’s clothes and they’re judging me. In reality, it’s probably just me judging myself. Slipping on my sunglasses, I decide to forgo any eye contact, too embarrassed that I’m going to be found out. Truth be told, if I were stumbling back to my dorm half naked and half drunk, no one would probably even care, but this is new for me, and I’m not sure how to feel.

I open my own door just as silently as I did his when I left him but then see Reese’s empty bed and realize that she probably spent the night with Cy. Grateful that I won’t have to spill any details about last night, I quickly change into my pajamas, down a couple of Tylenol, and climb into my own bed. As much as I want to sleep this hangover off, I can’t get last night off my mind, and if the slight aching between my legs is any indication, my body isn’t going to let me forget it either. Even though I feel exhausted, I’m also restless. My mind wanders onto how it all started, and I can’t stop thinking about how it all went so wrong.

The night started off just fine. It was the first Friday of the fall semester, and after a week of syllabus studying and lectures about entering a brand-new world, I was more than ready to go out with Reese. All week, she’d kept up with her ‘let loose’ crap, and it wasn’t until I promised to at least look for someone remotely interesting that she started to back off. I’d kept my promise to her, checking out guys on campus and in my classes, but not a single one of them had caught my eye yet, much to her chagrin.

“Oh, come on, Andi. Please tell me you’re not wearing that? To your first college party?” she asked, wrinkling her nose as she looked me up and down.

I glanced down at myself, not sure what the problem was. Being a frat party, I knew I’d probably be drinking quite a bit of beer, doing some dancing that would lead to some sweating, and there was no way in hell I was going to get dressed up for it. Unfortunately for Reese, I wasn’t going there to impress anyone, so I’d thrown on my favorite Elton John concert T-shirt, skinny jeans, and black flip-flops.

“What? We’re just going to a frat house. I want to be comfortable. This,” I told her, my hands sweeping down my body, “is comfortable.”

“You’re wearing the T-shirt of a seventy-year-old British singer. Like you said, we’re going to a frat house, not a nursing home. Hey!” she exclaimed as I leaned across the bed to pinch her arm.

“He’s in his sixties, and he still puts on the best shows. You’d have known that if you’d come to the concert with us last spring.”

Seeing as how there wasn’t much to do in Bethel, road-tripping to Nashville for concerts was something we all did during our high school years. When Elton John and Billy Joel came to town, Dad scored tickets for us, and even after having been to a dozen or so concerts of all genres, there was nothing like watching him overtake the stage and belt out the lyrics from forty-plus years of hits. Not to mention, it was a fun time being able to enjoy music with my parents for once.

“No, thank you. Maroon 5 and Adam Levine? Hell yes. Elton John? Not so much,” she said, shaking her head. “But if you’re going to insist on wearing that, at least please let me do your eye makeup.”

I relented and even let her go as far as to curling my usually straight, auburn-colored hair that’s currently a little redder than usual thanks to a summer spent mostly in the sun.

“Okay, perfect! This new shadow makes your green eyes pop. You’ll have your pick of men tonight, Andi. I just know it,” she told me, squeezing my shoulders. “Now, remember…an open mind. Speaking of, here. I have this to start off our first official weekend as college students.”

I watched as she rummaged around in her purse before pulling out two large flasks and two shot glasses.

“Cy got it for us as a welcome to college gift. Just to take the edge off, of course,” she said as she gave me a knowing smile. “More for you than for me.” She poured a clear liquid in each glass then handed me one before she clinked hers with mine. “To college,” she proposed, which I echoed as I lifted it to my lips and quickly downed the shot without a second thought.

A burning sensation began to scorch my throat as it flowed down. My chest felt tight and I couldn’t help but cough. “Oh, Jesus, I thought it was vodka. I wasn’t expecting tequila,” I admitted.

Reese gave me a sheepish grin. “I wanted to loosen you up. Let’s go. We’ve got to find you a man.”

I rolled my eyes but steeled my nerves as I let the tequila course through my veins. One measly shot was not going to give me the courage to end up in someone’s bed, but it was a damn good start.