Combust (The Wellingtons #1) (9 page)

“Come on. I didn’t mean it like that. Don’t you think you’re being a little too dramatic? It was one night, Cohen. It doesn’t have to be like this,” she protests, but I stop her.

She’s probably right, but between the beer and the guy staring after her, I just don’t have it in me to agree to be friends with a girl I know I’ll always be wanting from the sidelines. I have enough to focus on with school without worrying about being in the friend zone.

“He’s waiting on you. I guess you’ve moved on. I might as well do the same.” Leaning down, I give her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Hey, at least you’ll always remember your first time. Even though it seems like all you want do is forget it. I should probably be wishing for you to forget, but then that means you’d forget me. And I might not have been the best lay, but I made you feel good. I know I did. Apparently, we’ll have different memories of that night. While you remember me as the one-pump, I’ll remember the pretty girl with a personality as fiery as her hair. Maybe one of these days you’ll wake up and realize that night wasn’t such a disaster after all. Until then, Ruby.”

I’m about to turn away when she says my name. “Wait. Cohen. What were you doing at the party tonight anyway? I thought they weren’t your thing.”

Her eyes are boring into mine, questioning, and I’m not sure what she’s looking for. I give a little laugh and shrug my shoulders. “They’re not. But after three weeks, I didn’t know where else to look. I was hoping I’d see you. I guess I should’ve wished for better circumstances. And you know, I’d ask you the same thing, but I think you’d have a different answer, so I’ll refrain. I’m not sure I want to hear it. Take care, Ruby.”

Before she can respond, I turn around and walk away from her, feeling like an asshole and a chump as I wonder if I’m making the biggest mistake of my life.

WHAT THE hell just happened? Cohen’s walking away from me, and I’m stock-still, unable to formulate any words. I want to call after him. To tell him that he’s wrong. He wasn’t a disappointment. Okay, so maybe the whole losing-my-virginity thing was, but the rest of the night? Disappointment doesn’t even come close. I was more embarrassed for myself than for him. I mean, what kind of girl was I to just lose my virginity to the first interesting guy I met in college? Maybe I could have handled it better, but I was pretty mortified after the whole thing, and figured he would be, too.

When I woke up the next morning and saw him next to me, I wanted nothing more than to pretend that it hadn’t happened. That I hadn’t grabbed that flask. I wished beyond all hope that we could just go back to being two kids talking about our favorite bands, but I knew we couldn’t. And with Cohen’s promise of a next time, I freaked and slipped out before he could wake up. I didn’t think he’d care. Most guys want that, right? No complications the next morning. A quick and easy departure.

Apparently, I’m an idiot, though, and should’ve realized that Cohen wasn’t like most guys. Even though I think he’s being a little over-the-top, I realize that that night must have really meant something to him, and I start to feel like a jerk for avoiding him all this time and for sneaking out. Despite what happened, the rest of the night had been perfect, and I shouldn’t have let one mishap ruin it all.

Even though I can hear Teddy calling my name, I’m stuck in my spot at I watch Cohen’s figure retreat until he’s out of sight. I want to follow him, to tell him he’s wrong and that, if he wants, we can have a do-over. Instead, I find myself unable to move. He seemed so sure of what I thought even though it couldn’t be further from the truth. I remember his words from that night. His sweet, gentle, caring words as his questioning eyes looked down into mine.

“
Are you sure, Ruby? I don’t want you to regret me in the morning.”

As I try to recall exactly what he said, I suddenly feel like an asshole. A huge asshole. He tried to give me an out, but I told him no, that I wouldn’t regret it. And in the end, I snuck out of his room and did what I thought was the walk of shame. He probably does think I regret that night, and I can’t blame him. I didn’t give him any other indication. In fact, I’ve seen him around on campus, but every time, I’ve been a coward and turned the other way, unsure of what to say to him. Not because of what happened or any fault of his, but because of my own embarrassment. As much as Reese tried to make it sound nonchalant, losing my virginity had been a bigger deal than I’d thought, and seeing Cohen around had both butterflies swarming in my stomach and heart palpitations attacking me at full force. It’s been a whirlwind of emotions, and avoiding him just seemed easier. Until tonight.

I’ve been hiding out in my dorm room since that first weekend, and Reese finally got tired of me moping around—even though she had no idea why I had been. She’d questioned me about the party, but she’d been too drunk to notice when I’d left, and since she’d stayed at Cy’s, she had no idea that I hadn’t slept in our dorm.

I’d been going to class and venturing off campus, but that’s about it. I rarely went to the quad after the first time I saw Cohen there. Fortunately, he didn’t see me and I was able to sneak out. After that, I avoided the place like the plague, and when I think back on it, I cringe, knowing that he was right. I have been acting differently. As if he were an embarrassment. But it isn’t him I am embarrassed about. It’s me.

It wasn’t until a few days ago when I was in the back corner of an off-campus records store that I saw him up close and personal again. I’d been looking through the soundtracks when I heard the door chime and just happened to look up to see the new arrival. His messy, blond hair was sticking out of a baseball cap, and I could only see his profile as he talked to some guy he was with. I crouched down when I saw him turn towards me, and I watched as his eyes were scanning the room. I knew he was looking for me. Or, at least, I hoped he was. That hope was quickly replaced by panic, and I froze, not knowing what I would say to him.

Like a coward, I continued to hide until disappointment etched his face and he left without even browsing through a single record. My racing heart started to calm down, but not before I chastised myself for acting like an idiot. I’ve never been shy around guys, and I wasn’t sure why I was acting that way with him.

Sighing, I clutched the special edition Lion King album to my chest, waiting a few minutes to make sure he was really gone. When I felt like the coast was clear, I bought the album, secretly hoping that, one day, we’d cross paths again and I wouldn’t act like a twelve-year-old girl around her first crush. Whoever said things got easier after high school was definitely lying. Why I didn’t grow a pair of balls and seek him out, I don’t know. Explaining the brain of an eighteen-year-old girl is something even I can’t do and I am one.

I was lying on my bed, listening to the album, and wondering when I’d turned into such a sap when Reese unhooked my earphones and demanded that I join her at Cy’s fraternity party. Not in the mood, I tried to beg off, but she wasn’t having any of it. While I didn’t have any desire to go, a silly part of me wondered if Cohen would show up again, so I hopped off the bed and got ready for the night, much to Reese’s pleasure. With a renewed excitement, I let her dress me, almost too provocatively—for me at least—but I didn’t have the strength to fight her when she put me in a skirt I knew I wouldn’t be able to bend over in.

At the party, Reese made quick work of trying to get us both drunk off Jungle Juice, and it wasn’t long before she was dancing clumsily and bumping into me as she spilled her drink all over the front of my clothes. Teddy, Cy’s roommate and best friend, offered to take me upstairs to an off-limits bathroom to clean up, and I was grateful for the offer.

Teddy pulled a linen towel out of the closet and handed it to me. He leaned back against the sink and watched as I tried to wipe off the red liquid off my shirt. Fortunately, the top was black, so other than looking wet, it was no worse for wear.

Handing him the damp towel, I gave him a sheepish grin. “Thanks, Teddy. I appreciate it. In case you haven’t noticed, Reese gets a little…umm…excited when she’s had a little too much.”

He laughed and gave me a shrug. “Cy will take care of her. He always does. What about you? After meeting you that first night, you haven’t been back here even though Reese practically lives at the house.”

Wrinkling my nose, I swept my arms down my damp clothes. “As you can tell, parties aren’t exactly my thing. I’m only here for moral support, which is silly because she can clearly do this without me.”

“Well, regardless of the circumstances, I’m glad you came. I wanted to talk to you at the last party, but you disappeared while I was kicking Cy’s ass at beer pong and I never got a chance to find you,” he admitted, giving me a sly grin.

I took a moment to study his features. Tall and muscular, he had dark hair that was styled perfectly, not a lock out of place. His dark-brown eyes were watching me, and his bone structure was chiseled perfection. Apparently, he caught me checking him out because his grin widened, and I found myself wondering what would’ve happened if I hadn’t left the party. Teddy’s hot, but even that doesn’t compare to Cohen’s goofy grin, his gorgeous, expressive, green eyes, or that cute-as-sin dimple on his cheek that I’ve been picturing in my mind for the past three weeks. Even still, I couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“Like I said, parties like this aren’t my thing, and I escaped as soon as I could.”

“Okay, Andi. If parties aren’t your thing, we can get out of here.” He leaned forward and brought a hand up to brush a lock of hair out of my eyes.

My breath caught for a moment as his eyes gazed down into mine. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, and for a split second, I thought he was going to close the distance between us and kiss me. At war with myself, I wanted to him do it yet I wanted to pull away at the same time. Sometimes, being a teenage girl could be so complicated.

“What do you say? You seem fun, you’re hot as hell, and I’d love to get to know you.”

His eyes were questioning, and while part of me wanted to say yes, that I did want to get out of there, I knew he’s not who I’d want to leave a party with. I’d actually like to get to know Teddy outside of this scene, but I was not having a repeat of the last time I left a party with a guy. Not that it’d be anywhere near the same.

I stepped back and he dropped his hand. “I promised Reese I wouldn’t bail on her this time, and if I don’t keep that promise, she just might keep dragging me back here. And no offense, but I’d rather be out checking out the local music scene than be here.”

“No offense taken.” He made a show of looking around even though we were definitely alone. “I’ll let you in on a little secret. As much as I love my brothers, these kinds of parties aren’t necessarily the most fun either. Don’t get me wrong. I like having a good time, but by the end of the night, when I just want to go to bed, it gets a little old having to kick people out or tell them to shut the hell up so I can sleep. And don’t even get me started on having to clean up the next day.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at his admission, which caused him to lift a finger to his lips. “Don’t worry. You’re secret is safe with me. Now let’s get back to the party we’re both enjoying so much.”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the hallway, but he stopped before we got to the stairs. Turning towards me, he cocked his head as he looked down at me. “So we’ve established we both would rather be elsewhere, but neither of us can do anything about that right now. How about tomorrow though? Have dinner with me?” His hopeful tone was endearing, and the way his eyes were pleading had me answering almost instantly.

“I think I’d love that, Teddy,” I told him, and for the first time in weeks, the idea of going on a date didn’t sound so bad. Maybe it’s what I needed to get over this funk. Maybe it would help me stop thinking about him and going back and forth with myself on seeking him out at his dorm or through the school e-mail.

As we started to make our way down the stairs, I stopped to scan the crowd so I could try to find Reese. It wasn’t long before I located her dancing with Cy in the living room, and I was about to continue down when my eyes spotted the familiar messy, blond hair. My eyes traveled down, and I could see that he was standing entirely still, even though the crowd moved around him. His gaze was on me, and my heart started racing, knowing that Cohen was only fifteen feet away from me and there was no way of avoiding him this time. All thoughts of Teddy subsided as I realized that avoidance was the last thing I wanted. A small smile crossed over my lips, and he returned it. The sight was beautiful, and I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. Before I could move, however, I felt Teddy’s arm wrap around my waist as he pressed a kiss against my temple.
What the hell?
Just because I’d agreed to dinner with the guy didn’t mean it gave him carte blanche to put his lips on me, even if it was just on my temple.