Authors: Mila Gray
on my feet. Kit’s standing right in front of me as though
my subconscious has conjured him out of thin air. I have
to blink a few times to make sure I’m not hallucinating.
‘Hi,’ he says, looking as shocked as I am.
‘Hi,’ I stammer.
‘I—’ he says, at the same time as I say,
‘What are you—?’
We both stop. I notice Kit looks anxious, out of breath,
like he has some place to be.
‘I was just visiting the grave,’ he says. ‘Riley.’
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I nod. I can’t seem to look at him. My cheeks are on fire.
‘I . . . I went around to your dad’s,’ I say. ‘He said you’d
gone to the recruiting office.’
‘Yeah,’ Kit says.
I stare down at the ground, tears smarting my eyes. I
don’t want him to see me crying, though, so I force
myself to blink them away. ‘Right. OK,’ I say. Shit. I don’t
know what to say to him.
‘Jessa?’
I look up. ‘I don’t love him.’ The words just fly out of
my mouth before I can stop them. I ram my mouth shut.
‘What?’ Kit asks.
‘Todd.’ Again I ram my mouth shut. Why am I telling
him this?
A smile seems to twitch for a moment at the edge of
Kit’s mouth, but he shakes his head and it disappears.
‘OK. But listen . . . ’
‘I love you.’ Nope. Can’t seem to stop myself.
Kit looks as stunned as I feel. ‘What?’
Suddenly I realize something, something momentous,
something that makes me want to hit myself because I’ve
been so blind and so stupid. How did I not see until now?
‘It doesn’t matter,’ I say in a rush, ‘if you’ve re-enlisted
for another four years. I’ll wait. I don’t care. I want to be
with you. With
you
. No one else.’
Kit blinks at me, raising his eyebrows. ‘You’d wait for
me for four years?’
I nod. ‘Yes. Four. Forty. Whatever. I want to be with
you, Kit.’ There, I’ve said it, and it feels like I’ve just
sprouted wings and am lifting up into the air, light as a
bird.
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Mila Gray
‘No,’ Kit says.
‘Yes,’ I answer angrily, falling straight back to earth.
‘This isn’t your decision.’
A grin splits his face. ‘No, I mean you don’t need to
wait,’ he says, stepping towards me. ‘I didn’t re-enlist.
I’m a free agent.’
He didn’t re-enlist? The news hits me with the force of
an electric shock. Before I can say anything he carries on.
‘I came here and I had the weirdest conversation with . . .
well, never mind.’ He shakes his head and pinches the
bridge of his nose. ‘The long and short of it is that I was
just leaving to come and find you.’
‘You were?’
‘Yes,’ he says, reaching for my hand.
‘Why?’ I ask, as my throat tightens. The feel of his hand
in mine, his touch, has started some kind of chain reac-
tion through my body. Little tremors start to travel up my
arms and down my spine.
‘To tell you to ditch Todd and come back to me.’
I draw in a breath as he pulls me closer so I’m standing
almost chest to chest with him. His free hand strokes my
hair behind my ear. ‘Because you’re my girl,’ he whispers.
‘You’re mine, Jessa. And I’m yours. And I’m an idiot for
walking away, but I swear to God I’ll never walk away
again.’
I look up into his eyes, noticing that the haunted look I
saw at the funeral has vanished, that lost look I saw the
last time we made love is nowhere to be seen. He’s look-
ing at me the same way he used to look at me before Riley
died.
‘You promise?’ I ask, still not sure if I can believe it.
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His jaw tenses. He takes my face in his hands and fixes
his eyes on mine. ‘With my whole heart,’ he says fiercely.
‘I’m back. And I’m not going anywhere ever again.’
And then he kisses me. My body responds automatic-
ally. Even though nine months have passed, it may as
well be nine seconds, the connection between us is so
instant. Nothing has changed. I melt against him. It’s as if
I’ve been frozen for nine months and now I’m waking up,
his lips, his hands, his touch all forcing the heat back into
my body, setting me alight from the inside out.
I kiss him back as though I’m trying desperately to find
my way back into the light and he’s holding the torch. I
had forgotten how it felt to be in his arms − the memory
could never do it justice − and now I press against him,
wanting to remember.
We’re breathless, both of us shaking and crying when
we pull apart. There’s a burning ache inside of me, one I
haven’t felt in so long, one I never felt with Todd.
As if he’s read my mind, Kit asks, ‘What about Todd?’
‘I broke up with him. Twenty minutes ago. I told him I
was still in love with you.’
Kit smiles and takes my face in his hands to kiss me
again. I will never get tired of his lips. ‘God, I’ve missed
you,’ he whispers.
‘I can tell,’ I answer with a sly smile, because he’s
pressed against me and suddenly there’s only one thing I
want to do. I glance over his shoulder and see his bike.
‘Take me for a ride?’ I murmur.
‘Where do you want to go?’ he asks.
‘Home,’ I say, and he knows without having to ask that
I mean his house,
our
room,
our
bed.
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Mila Gray
He takes my hand and pulls me towards his bike, strid-
ing purposefully, and I know with a thrill that races
through me that this is going to be one fast ride.
‘Wait,’ I say, digging in my heels, my stomach falling
out of me. ‘Isn’t that my dad’s car?’ I ask, pointing at the
BMW at the edge of the lot.
‘Yeah,’ Kit says with a small smile.
I give him a confused look, but he shrugs it off and
tosses me a bike helmet.
‘Come on, let’s go,’ he says. ‘We’ve got a lot of catching
up to do.’
I grin at him because I know exactly what kind of
catching up he means, and it isn’t going to be the conver-
sational kind.
‘And then,’ he says, helping me do up the strap before
lifting me onto the back of the bike, ‘then we have a
whole life to plan. I was thinking a road trip and then a
move to LA. What about you?’
He kicks up the stand and revs the engine. I wrap my
arms around his waist.
‘I don’t care where we go. Just so long as we go there
together.’
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Epilogue
five years later
The wedding is taking place on a cliff above the beach.
The weather is glorious. Days like this always take me
back to that first summer with Kit when we were a secret
and everything was touched with a golden, magical kind
of light.
I look across at him now and my heart gives a quick
kick at the sight of him in his suit. If anything he’s only
gotten sexier over the years, and though he always jokes
that one day I’m going to run off with one of my leading
men, there’s no possible way anyone could ever come
close to making me feel the way Kit does. With just a
glance he has the power to make me come completely
undone.
Aware of me staring at him, he looks my way and
gives me a smile, his eyes slipping down my dress. I
know exactly what he’s thinking and have to look away
to hide my blush.
He links his fingers through mine and leans over to
whisper in my ear. ‘Have I told you how beautiful you
look?’ he asks.
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Mila Gray
I shake my head while laughing under my breath.
‘Shhhh,’ I whisper, focusing my attention back on the
bride and groom.
Jo looks stunning in her white dress, so much so that
I have to wipe away a tear. Her groom is gazing at her
with an expression of such unadulterated love that it
makes something catch painfully in my chest and I have
to swallow away the lump in my throat as I watch them
exchanging vows. Though I wish it was my brother up
there marrying Jo, I’m thrilled that she’s found someone
to take care of her. He’s a good guy. And he adores her.
The fact that he adores little Riley too makes me even
happier.
I watch the little monkey who’s standing between
them holding a cushion with the rings on. He looks so
like Riley that it’s hard to tear my eyes off him. He turns
just then and, grinning a gap-toothed grin, waves at my
mom and dad who are sitting beside us. My dad is beam-
ing as if this is the proudest day of his life, and I notice he
and my mom are holding hands, my mom wiping away
tears.
Kit’s dad is officiating at the ceremony, and I watch his
blue eyes light up with happiness as he pronounces them
man and wife.
‘That’s going to be us next,’ Kit murmurs in my ear,
sending a shiver up my spine.
I feel a flutter in my belly at the thought, a quickening
inside me that feels like a butterfly stretching its wings
for the first time. I can’t wait for it to be our turn, but the
wedding we have planned is going to have to wait. Next
month I’m away on location in Hawaii filming, and I
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have two other projects lined up for next year. Things are
really starting to take off. It’s already getting to the stage
where I’m having to wear a hat and dark glasses when I
go out in public – something I’ll never get used to. The
paparazzi even followed Kit and me here to the wedding
and are waiting outside for a money shot.
After the wedding, as everyone gathers to drink cham-
pagne and the bride and groom are having their photos
taken, Kit takes my hand and leads me over to my
parents.
‘What are you doing?’ I ask him.
‘I think we should tell them, don’t you?’ Kit answers.
‘What? Now?’ I ask, hit by a flurry of nerves.
‘It’s OK,’ Kit says, grinning at me over his shoulder.
‘I’m wearing a bullet-proof vest.’
I know he’s kidding. There’s no need any more for one
of those. These days Kit and my dad get on pretty well.
Since he retired, my dad has mellowed even more. He
and my mom come and visit us in LA quite often, bring-
ing little Riley, who loves hanging out at Kit’s restaurant
(which he named
Riley’s
). His favourite part is following
the waitresses around and watching the cocktail waiters
mix drinks, which is slightly worrying seeing how he’s
not yet six.
My dad hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. ‘That was
beautiful, don’t you think?’ he asks, gesturing at the
flower-decked arch where the ceremony took place.
I nod. My mom squeezes my arm. I know today is
equal parts wonderful and difficult for her, as it is for all
of us.
Kit and my dad shake hands.
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Mila Gray
‘How’s the business?’ my dad asks Kit straightaway.
He’s taken a keen interest in Kit’s restaurant ever since he
started winning awards and being featured in the papers.
‘Great,’ Kit answers. ‘We’re going to be opening a sister
restaurant in New York next year.’
‘That’s fantastic,’ my mother says, giving Kit’s arm a
squeeze.
Just then Jo and her new husband Marc walk over arm
in arm, little Riley swinging off Marc’s hand. He lets go
and jumps straight into Kit’s arms, and watching them
I feel a swell of emotion. Kit’s going to make the most
amazing father. If Riley could see this right now, I know
he’d be smiling. As though he knows just what I’m think-
ing, Kit puts his arm around my waist and draws me
close.
‘Dad!’ he shouts over the heads of the crowd, getting
his father’s attention.
His dad is locked in close conversation with Jo’s mom
and they both look up. I notice Jo’s mom is blushing and
the two of them look like teenagers who’ve been caught
doing something they shouldn’t. Oh my God. Am I
imagining it? Is there something going on between them?
That would be so wonderful, I think to myself. If anyone
deserves a second shot at love, it’s Kit’s dad.
They walk towards us and I watch speechless as Kit’s
dad and my dad exchange a few words of light-hearted
banter. I will never get used to seeing those two talking
and getting on.
When everyone’s gathered around, Kit clears his voice.
I stare at the ground and take a deep breath, grateful for
Kit’s arm which is an anchor around my waist.
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‘Everyone, we have some news,’ he announces.