Authors: B.L. Mooney
The restaurant was a casual place that served families
and early evening meetings like ours. Later, the crowd would turn to date night
and the alcohol would flow. I hoped to be out of there before that started. More
of the evening was spent discussing family and less about the project. Vicki
made sure to get a few minutes in so Matt really could take it off his
expenses.
We were sitting in a booth just finishing the appetizer and
waiting for our entrees when a family with two young children was seated next to
us. I like children. I really do, but I like them older. I don’t know what my
childhood was like before I was adopted. Seeing children being fussed over by
their parents always made the hole in my heart a little bigger. Was I ever
fussed over by my parents, or was I given up the second they could dump me off?
“Excuse me.” I went to the bathroom for much-needed space and to
gain a little perspective. I was there with my boss and his wife having a
dinner meeting. I needed to get the dinner back to the project and stop crying
in the bathroom. I didn’t want to talk about families anymore.
I hoped I could get away the next day at a decent time so I could
spend some time with the kids and Ryan. I felt like I belonged there. I felt
like one of them, only they didn’t know it. Thinking about that made me feel
like a fraud. Maybe I should come clean with Ryan. Maybe I should tell him the
truth about the beginning of my life. I knew he would never look down on me, not
the way he cares for those kids.
I looked in the mirror to make sure my makeup was still okay or
at least not in streaks down my face when Vicki walked in. “Everything okay in
here?”
“Sure.” I shrugged, trying not to let the tears start again.
“It’s just been a rough day, you know.”
“Of course, it has. Do you want to go?” Vicki put her hand on my
arm. “We can go anytime.”
“No. I’ll be fine.” I started to head for the door. “Let’s get
back before they serve our table with only Matt there.” I tried to smile with
my teasing tone, but I couldn’t.
“Rebecca? Can I ask you a question?” Vicki nervously hugged her
arms.
I took a deep breath. Questions meant answers and some answers I
just didn’t want to give. “You can ask, but I don’t know if I’ll answer.”
“Fair enough.” She cleared her throat. “Are you pregnant?”
“What?” I didn’t expect that question. I started shaking my head.
“Absolutely not, Vicki, why would you think that? I didn’t come in here because
I was sick.”
“When I was pregnant, I used to cry whenever I saw babies or toddlers
like the ones that sat next to us. As soon as you saw them, you kind of shut
down and then hid in here.” Vicki blew out a breath. “I’m really glad you’re
not pregnant—at least not right now.”
Vicki started to leave. “Wait,” I said. She stopped and turned back
to me. “I think we’ve already covered this, and frankly it’s none of your
business, but I’m not sleeping with anyone. If my mother is trying to get the
dirt on my life here, tell her she can ask me herself. I don’t need my boss’s
wife checking on possible pregnancies and telling me who I can or can’t be
friends with—benefits or otherwise.”
I walked out and didn’t give her time to respond or deny my
mother’s influence in this. I wasn’t sure why I went off on Vicki, but what I did
and who I did it with was none of her business. I was sure she cared and was
just trying to look out for me, but did she really give this much attention to
her other employees? No, of course not, she was only best friends with my
mother. Lucky me!
I reached our booth with Vicki trailing behind, obviously giving
me space. Matt was sitting where I had been, and I gave him a puzzled look. He
pointed to the other side and there was my dinner waiting for me.
“Vicki thought you might like to sit there and avoid the kids.”
Matt motioned to the table he now had a clear view of.
I turned to Vicki as she came up behind me. “Thank you.” I felt
ridiculously immature for my behavior in the restroom. She had no idea the
reason I freaked out was because of my obvious status of being an unwanted pregnancy
to my parents and not because of my own unwanted pregnancy. I couldn’t imagine
not ever wanting a child even if it wasn’t planned or perfect timing.
~*~
I don’t know why I let Stacy talk me into going with
her to the bar, but Ryan wasn’t available, and I hadn’t gone out like this
since I moved here. I knew she’d wanted to do this ever since we got closer,
but I’d never been one for the bar scene. I was happier with drinks over
dinner, not dancing. She was talking to a couple of guys that walked up and
offered us both a drink, but I didn’t find either one appealing. I sat there
nursing the drink they bought us that I didn’t want and allowed Stacy to be the
center of their attention.
“Come here often?”
Someone stood behind me close enough that when he asked, I felt
his breath on my neck. I looked down at the bar at the two hands that had me
closed in and noticed the bracelet on the left wrist. “Wade?” I turned, never
so happy to see someone in my entire life. “What are you doing here?”
He finally backed up and took the seat next to me that Stacy
vacated to dance with her new friends. “I thought I’d come see what all was
going on tonight. I must say that I’m glad I did.” He smiled and looked
directly at me when he said it.
I blushed and looked away. “I’m sorry, but I’m about to go home.”
I looked over at Stacy. “It looks as if she’ll be staying a little bit longer,
though.”
“I doubt that. I’d say she’s about ready to leave with one of the
guys she’s dancing with.”
“Really?” I looked at Stacy again. “But that’s so dangerous.
Doesn’t she know that’s dangerous?” I looked back at Wade and he just shrugged.
“Maybe I should—”
“Stacy’s a big girl. She can take care of herself. Come on. Let’s
dance.” He stood up and held out his hand. I shrugged and took his hand. One
dance and I’d go home.
Two hours later, Wade was helping me up to my apartment. I should
never have let Wade and Stacy talk me into shots. They get me every time. He
took my keys and helped me unlock the door. “Thanks.” I turned to him and
patted his chest. “You’re a good guy, Wade. You could have gone home with
anyone, but here you are with me.”
“I went home with the one I wanted to go home with. Don’t worry
about that.” Wade smiled as he sat me on the sofa.
“Oh, you’re sweet, too. I know there were plenty of women there
that were hoping you’d take them home.” I sat back and closed my eyes. I felt
Wade sit next to me and I turned my head to him, but didn’t open my tired eyes.
“Thanks for getting me home. I’m sure you’re tired—”
My eyes flew open as I felt Wade lean in and press his lips to
mine. His hand cupped the back of my head and held me to him. I’d known he
wanted to kiss me for a while now, and I gave in, hoping to get the kiss out of
his system. Maybe he would realize we were just good friends and nothing more.
When his hand left the back of my neck and started its way down the front of my
chest, I pushed him away and backed up, ending the kiss.
“Are you going to be sick?”
“No.”
He leaned in for another kiss and I pushed him again. “What’s
wrong?”
“Wade, we’re just friends. Nothing more.”
“That didn’t seem like nothing more to me.”
I stood up and he tried to pull me back down. “Stop! We are just
friends, and if you want to keep me as a friend, you’ll go home and sleep it
off.”
He stood up next to me, angry. “Why did you kiss me back then?
You know there’s something between us. If you’ll just admit it to yourself, we
could really be happy together.”
“There’s only friendship between us and I am happy with you,” I
put my hand on his arm, “as a friend.”
“This is bullshit!” He flung my hand off and started pacing the
floor. “All this time you’ve been flirting with me and leading me on. You’re
just a tease. Have you ever let a man have you? What about Thomas? Has he had
you?”
“First of all, I’ve never flirted with you. Second, your tease
comment is just plain offensive. Third, Ryan and I are just friends as you and
I
were
.” I walked over to the door and opened it for him. “Get out,
Wade. Go sleep it off before you say something you’ll really regret.”
“The only thing I regret is wasting my time with you.” Wade
slammed the door as he left.
I locked the door behind him and turned to lean up against it.
Even though that argument sobered me up a little, I was still too drunk to
think about it. I went to bed and took my own advice to sleep it off.
~*~
The next morning I woke up to my cell phone ringing and
barely managed a croak when I answered it. “Hello.”
“You don’t sound so good.” Stacy sounded just as she always did.
“Oh, I don’t feel so good, either. How do you do this every
weekend?” I sat up and closed my eyes as the room started spinning.
“Are you still in bed? I’ll let you go.”
“No, I’m up now. What did you need?” I went to the coffee pot to
make much needed coffee.
“I was just wondering how you and Wade were doing, but if he’s
still there . . .”
I remembered the fight from the night before and hoped it wasn’t
as bad as I remembered it. I hoped it was an exaggerated version due to the
alcohol. “Wade’s not here.”
“Oh, he’s the kind that loves ’em and leaves ’em, huh?”
“Nobody loved anybody last night.” I stood and stared at the
coffee pot, praying it would drip faster.
“Well, I wouldn’t say that.” I could tell by the teasing tone in
her voice that she found someone to love last night. “I thought he took you
home.”
“He helped me home, but he didn’t take me anywhere. Actually, we
had a fight about it.” I told Stacy way more than I probably should have since
she is the office manager in the gossip department, but I had to get it off my
chest, and I knew I couldn’t talk to my mother about it.
“He’ll get over it. It may be awkward for a little while, but
he’ll bounce back. You’re not the first one to tell him no. Don’t worry about
it.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I am, but look, I’ve got to run. I’ll talk to you later?”
“Sure.” I hung up, feeling slightly better than when I answered
the phone—both physically and emotionally. I truly did hope this would blow
over with Wade and we could go back to being friends. I just didn’t think I could
go to dinner with him alone anymore.
I was just about to get in the shower and wash last night off of
me when I heard a knock on the door. I rolled my eyes and prayed I didn’t look
as bad as I felt. Looking through the peephole, I saw Wade looking as if he
stayed in all night sleeping instead of staying out all night drinking. How did
these people do it?
I slowly opened the door with the chain still latched and looked
at him. “Are you going to behave yourself?” I tried to pass it off as teasing,
but I really did need to know if he was going to keep himself under control.
He held up two coffees and a pastry bag. “I brought a little
peace offering. I’m sorry, Rebecca.”
I closed the door to unlatch the chain and opened it again wide
enough for him to get through. “No cracks about my appearance. I’m not used to
all of this as you and Stacy apparently are.”
“You look beautiful.” He handed me a cup and smiled. “Am I
forgiven?”
I eyed the bag he was holding in his other hand. “Almost.”
Wade laughed as he walked into my kitchen to get two plates. “You
actually are doing better than I thought you would be this morning. I thought
you would still be sleeping.”
“I probably would have been if Stacy hadn’t called.” I took the
plate from Wade and sat at the kitchen table. “Thanks for breakfast.”
“Thanks for not being mad at me. I said some pretty mean things
last night.” Wade looked at his coffee before taking a big drink.
Once I finished the bite I had taken, I put my hand on his
forearm. “You’re forgiven, but, Wade, we are just friends. Please just be my
friend.”
He nodded. “I can do that.” He dug in his pocket. “I forgot to
give these back to you last night.” He put my keys on the table.
“Thanks. I’d be lost without those.”
~*~
My lazy Sunday turned into a frantic Monday as I fell
asleep on the couch Sunday night and didn’t make it to the bedroom to set the
alarm. I hate oversleeping. The feeling of being rushed never leaves me all day,
and I always feel as if I forgot something. I was rushing into the building and
wishing I had time to stop and get a coffee when I practically ran right into
Mandy. She couldn’t leave the office fast enough.
I stopped for a second to let her through the door first.
“Everything okay?”
“I just need some air!” She stormed by me and ran to her car.
“Okay, then.” I went back to my own rushing to get to my office.
I knew we had a meeting at some point that morning, but I hoped I could at
least get some coffee first. I sat in my chair a little too hard and it rolled
away from the desk. I rolled my eyes at myself and scooted back up to check my
calendar. I had twenty minutes to get the coffee and make it to the meeting.
Great—more rushing.
Vicki entered with two cups and set one in front of me. “I love
you.”
She raised her eyebrows and slowly sat down. “Okay. I love you,
too, kiddo, but it’s just coffee.”
I was actually talking to the coffee and didn’t realize Vicki
would take it as a declaration to her. I was fond of Vicki and she’d been
great, but I wouldn’t say I love the woman. “Um, I . . .”
“I know you meant the coffee, Rebecca. Relax.” She placed her
coffee on the edge of the desk and took out the notebook she had under her arm.
“Today’s meeting will be a good one, and I thought we could go over a couple of
ideas I had for it before you go. Then you can tell the team and get their
feedback on it. It will save us a lot of time on this project that way.”